The COVID-19 pandemic has disrupted life as we know it. The world of intercollegiate sports has been thrown upside down with last spring’s activities being cancelled and the uncertainty of this fall looming.

At last check, seven of the 13 FCS conferences are still trying to have a fall season. Two of those seven are the Missouri Valley Football Conference  — which Illinois State, Southern Illinois and Western Illinois are members  —  and the Ohio Valley Conference, which includes Eastern Illinois.

As of now, the four Illinois FCS programs are opening fall camps and waiting on decisions from their conference university presidents. The MVFC encompasses seven states (Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Missouri, North Dakota, Ohio, South Dakota) while the OVC consists of five states (Alabama, Illinois, Kentucky, Missouri, Tennessee).

With numbers rising on almost a daily basis in many of those states, there is a strong possibility that both the conferences and their football schedules will resemble nothing like in the past. For example, the OVC could well morph into a Tennessee-only league for a season. Perhaps only the Dakota schools will meet each other on the playing field.

Administrators and coaches at all four Illinois FCS universities have publicly shared their desire to play if possible. With that in mind, here’s an idea Prairie State Pigskin wishes to throw into the ring of discussion and consideration. After all, if pro sports can alter the way their games are played and presented, why not ponder every idea that comes along?

A one-year ‘league’

Consider that both the MVFC and OVC decide not to play this fall and have no set plan for the spring. Or perhaps those two conferences proceed with only some of its members while allowing others to play as independents for a season (it’s been done elsewhere in FCS).

Why not set up a one-year “league” with Eastern, Southern, Western and Illinois State?

There is historic precedent. These four teams were all members of the old Illinois Intercollegiate Athletic Association for many years. Yes, SIU dropped out of the league in the early 1960s and the conference disbanded at the end of the 1969-70 academic year, but there are many reasons to at least consider this proposal.

1. This is a cost-effective and perhaps safest way to play the season. Each team could travel by bus and even make one-day trips to avoid hotel stays. Macomb to Carbondale (or vice versa) is under five hours one way. Yes, it’s a long day so maybe an overnight would be needed for that game, but the other bus rides would be no more than 3.5 hours. The athletic directors certainly know each other well enough to begin dialogue.
2. If you’re thinking four teams is not enough, then add in regional rivals Indiana State and Southeast Missouri and you’ve now got a six-team league. That means a round-robin schedule and each team would get 10 games (even five would be better than none). In addition, Indiana State is a member of the MVFC and also regularly appears on the EIU schedule anyway (the Sycamores and Panthers are slated to meet Sept. 3 in Charleston). SEMO is an OVC member (also on the EIU schedule) and hosted Illinois State in last fall’s FCS playoffs. If you’re wondering, it’s four hours from Macomb to Terre Haute and 4.5 hours from WIU to Cape Girardeau.
3. While sports very much live in the present, there’s a constant link to the past. Alumni and fans often reminisce about the glory days of their favorite teams. As stated earlier, the old IIAC disbanded 50 years ago; think of the nostalgic possibilities to revamp the old league for an anniversary season. All four Illinois FCS programs were charter members of the Gateway Conference — the forerunner of the MVFC — when it first took the field in 1985. While EIU left for the OVC 11 years later, the Illinois FCS schools have combined for 15 Gateway/MVFC titles over the 35 years of the league’s existence.
4.  Okay, so you like to deal in cold, harsh facts rather than sentimentality? Try this on for size: this may be the only way your favorite Illinois FCS team plays. You can guarantee that schools in other parts of the country are kicking around ideas like this.

My usually unreliable sources are reporting that Joe Biden has accepted  Donald Trump’s Cognitive-Test Challenge.  With one amendment.

Biden is upping the ante.  He has proposed that they  simultaneously take the current SAT test on national television, with Alex Trebek acting as proctor.

After initially demurring  in  a tweet, “It’s going to be rigged,” and following with,”They picked the wrong Alex for proctor.  I’m demanding “always fair”  Alex Jones.  People tell me Trebek is a well-nown aranchist,”  Trump, though, finally consented to the match.

The proposed name of the event was contained in a White House briefing document, but it has been revealed that Trump didn’t actually read it before he signed off on the proposal. Hence,  the producers are going  with the title, “The J0seph Shapiro Memorial SAT Presidential Showdown.”  Even with projected odds at  1,000,000 to 1, Las Vegas is not accepting any betting.

When, er, if Biden scores the higher grade , his $10,000,000 prize will go toward Covid -19 vaccine research.  President Trump declared that his prize money would head for a “worthy charitable cause” run by an undisclosed bank in Seychelles.

“Remember, they were against him in 2016 too,” vehemently argued the new White House press secretary, Roger Stone.

BREAKING NEWS: President Trump has just consented to star in a two-part new Reality-TV match, pitting  the POTUS against Mario Rubio in what has been dubbed a “rematch” of their infamous clash during the Republican Presidential Debate.  The first episode will feature a hand-measuring contest.  The second  ititled “The Measures of Manhood.”  The show’s executive producer, Ivanka Trump, has selected as judge internet star Stormy Daniels (who has now contritely confessed, “I made that  whole $136,000  thing up and it has nothing to do with my $500.000 judging fee”).  Trump has tweeted ”  This is going to be a class event.  I’ve had s solid gold yardstick crafted just for the show. I predict ratings beyond, umm, compare.”

This will be a wiener-,er, winner-take-all   competition.  Rubio has committed the billion-dollar prize money to training a military force–made up of pre-Castro Cuban property owners and Eric Prince–to re-invade  the island.  “No  landing in the Bay of Pigs this time,”  thundered the Florida senator.  Trump is donating all earnings to a “worthy charitable cause” run by an undisclosed bank in the Cayman Islands.

All of the preceding has been reported by our unidentified-to-us unreliable fake news source.

I’m sure most of us sometimes have this conversation with ourselves, or at least one similar to it. There comes a point every so often where I like to have a sit-down conversation with myself and truly break down what in my current point of life makes me happy. (Or maybe I’m weird for talking to myself…idk) In past times, I’ve found it to be things like the close relationship between my sister and I, or a newfound passion for crochet (DISCLAIMER: I am not 90 years old.) Although I still have a close relationship with my sister and continue to find joy in occasional scarf makings. I can’t say that those things are what do it for me these days. It’s a bit embarrassing to say but I’ve discovered that the thing making me most happy right now is Baskin Robbins’ Gold Medal Ribbon ice cream. Reality kicked in yesterday afternoon when I realized I have had the same ice cream cone everyday for the past WEEK! It’s become such a routine for me that It didn’t even phase me when the person who hands me my cone everyday started to laugh through his mask when we’d make eye contact. 

I’ve fallen so in love with this ice cream that a picture I have taken of it earlier in the week has now become my lockscreen! 

I know what you’re probably thinking…It’s a bit silly and quite frankly sad that the first thing that comes to mind when I picture what makes me happy is Baskin Robbins. I’ve realized that this particular ice cream has contradictorily been my saving grace as well as my kryptonite. If you do the math, every cone is roughly $7 (Yes. I know. For ice cream. Ridiculous.) If I continue this path of treating myself to this luxury every week. That totals to be $49 a week. With there being 52 weeks in a year, I will be spending roughly $2,458 a year simply on Gold Medal Ribbon Ice Cream. Which as an incoming college student, I definitely don’t have the money to invest towards this addiction. And like any addiction, it takes time to overcome. So until the day dawns where I can list another thing that makes me just as happy as Baskin Robbins, I’ll take two scoops of Gold Medal Ribbon in a chocolate dipped waffle cone. Thanks.