Donald Trump is all things Russia. When he needed financing for one of his real estate projects, where did he go? Russia! When he needed help to win the 2016 election, who was there for him? Russia! When presented intelligence reports that Putin and Russia were putting out bounties on American servicemen in Afghanistan, did he believe it? No, he believed Putin and Russia. Another intelligence report shows that Russia is again trying to interfere in the 2020 election. When it is denied by Putin, who does Trump believe? Okay…okay…we get it, already!

Yesterday’s news brought a report that Russia has successfully developed a Covid-19 vaccine. Putin is already touting this as the answer to preventing the spread of the virus. His daughter was one of the supposedly successful test cases. It even has a catchy name, Sputnik V. The Philippines and Brazil are interested in making massive purchases of the drug.  Everything will be ready to go this fall. Sounds great, doesn’t it?

The problem is most of the world doesn’t believe any of this. Why should they, after all, it’s Putin!

Medical experts think this is far from a done deal. The reports they’ve seen show the vaccine is only in stage one of its trial. That’s two stages from where it needs to be for mass distribution. That doesn’t matter to Putin. What he cares most is the worldwide prestige he’ll receive from being first to market. If the world leaders don’t buy into this, he won’t care; Vladimir Putin has an audience of one….Donald Trump. Can you imagine their conversation?:

Putin: Don, it’s Vlady. You heard we got the vaccine? SputnikV, babe. It’s the best thing we’ve ever done. Better than vodka! And the money….THE MONEY, DON!!
Trump: I heard. Is it for real? Will it save lives?
Putin: Trump, did you hear what I said about money?! I gave it to my daughter?
Trump: Your daughter? Really? It’s safe enough to give it to Ivanka?
Putin: Not her. Give it to one whose name we can never remember! (disconnects)
Trump: Oh yeah, her. Maybe Melania, too. Vlade….Vlade….damn him (disconnects)

Wow…..as Don likes to say, that’s a perfect phone call!

We’re less than ninety days from the presidential election. If you believe the polls, Trump is trailing Joe Biden nationally by double digits. Biden holds large leads in the swing battleground states. Even some of the states that were solid in Trump’s pocket have become toss-ups. And now that Kamala Harris is on the ticket, look out!

Desperate people do desperate things; and it’s desperation time in Donald Trump’s world. You know he’s not going to sit back and let this happen. Donald Trump is not wired that way. He’ll come out swinging. The world has been expecting an October surprise. I figured it would have something to do with Obamagate.  You know what would be better than having his toady, Bill Barr bring charges against the former president and vice-president a few weeks before an election? How about a cure for the disease that has killed more than 160,000 Americans?! How about a vaccine that restores American’s lives back to the way it was before the existence of this virus?!

It makes too much sense in the twisted mind of Donald Trump not to give this a try. It’s only a matter of time before Trump comes to a press conference and lets the world know about this miracle drug. He’ll probably even say he’s had a shot himself.

Sputnik V…It’s even better than hydroxychloroquine.

Related Post: I hope Donald Trump isn’t lying about taking Hydroxychloroquine

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I went into the bathroom the other day to get changed. My husband was at the sink getting himself ready for work. As I undressed, I turned and looked into our full length mirror. I began rubbing and probing at my thigh. At the same time my husband set his gaze upon me, smiling from ear to ear. I asked, “What?” He then began to tell me how much he loved my body and how sexy he thought I was.

Unfazed, I stood staring at that same thigh. And it was in that next moment where my husband’s gaze now made its way to my face. He looked at me, as I looked at myself. And this is what he said:

“If you are not saying nice things about yourself in your head, then stop looking in the mirror.”

Wow. His comment snapped me back into reality and out of my head. For those few moments, he got to experience how vastly different I look at myself, compared to his admiring eyes. And in the those moments, so did I.

I could not believe my silent disgust, was not so silent. He heard the negative, hateful, and harmful (FALSE) things I was telling myself. And he loved me more in that moment than I loved myself. And although I am grateful for a partner to remind me (and convince me) of my divine inner and outer essence, I absolutely must be the person singing my own praises.

How many times were you that person in the mirror internally criticizing what you saw? I have realized that I do this so frequently, it is my normal dialogue. I have read so many variations of that same script I no longer need to feed myself the lines, trust me when I say they are fully memorized.

But if you (like myself) deeply desire growth in your life, we must rewrite our monologues. Monologues that are full of acceptance and grace because self-love is the beginning, middle, and end of our journey. It is our road-map to navigate a life that is full and a world that is colorful. Self-hate strips us of that joy. And although we know all of this to be true, it becomes so difficult and sometimes feeling impossible to live out.

So what now? What do we do when we are staring in the mirror ready to press play on our personal self-hate podcast? Change looks different for us all, but small victories will begin to reword those scripts. In that moment when my husband gently called me out, he was right. If I am having one of “those” days, I should chose to limit my time in the mirror. Or as I grab my thighs, shift my thoughts to gratitude and send thanks to my legs for the ability to dance and to carry my children.

All of this is much easier to type than to put into practice. But every time we interrupt that negative self-talk, it brings us back to the present moment and we become more conscious and aware of what we are doing. It is in those interruptions where the change begins. Every thought becomes a new opportunity to quiet that self-deprecating talk and to amplify self-love and acceptance. Embrace those shifts. Do not minimize the work that it takes in becoming your most authentic self.

I am worthy and so are you.

This blog post is the 27th in a series about my (and twin sister’s, and now, baby sister’s) preventative breast cancer screening journey that began when we were 30 years old in July 2019. My baby sister began her preventative baseline breast cancer screening at age 25 at Mayo Clinic in Rochester in October 2019. Here is a list of all of the posts written about our journey at Mayo Clinic’s Breast Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, to date.  To keep tabs on new posts, sign up for the “A Daily Miracle” email list at this link. To order a tshirt raising awareness for breast cancer, fill out this form–shirts are $20 and $8 goes directly to support Mayo Clinic’s Breast Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota!

Today, we introduce a new character to our breast cancer screening story: My baby sister, who is 26 years old. When my twin sister and I began our baseline breast cancer screening journey in July 2019 at age 30, she was only 24. One of the hardest parts of being diagnosed with breast cancer has been to watch my baby sister’s anxiety rise as she realized that her future might look a lot like ours–and that she would need to start her breast cancer screening ASAP.

Never mind the statistics from the American Cancer Society and other credible organizations about how approximately 1 in 10 women get called back after mammograms, only 1 in 10 women under the age of 50 have microcalcifications on their baseline screenings at all, and even less than that get biopsies. All of these statistics seem to be to us now clear signs of God’s protection and provision.

It’s a miracle I was called back for more screening in August 2019 and I’m grateful to God that He allowed me to go through my breast cancer diagnosis because it quite possibly saved my twin sister’s life, and allowed my baby sister to become aware of her high risk factors, as well. God loves us and is in control! 

But that truth doesn’t make our reality any easier to swallow. As my twin sister’s boss said to her when she was diagnosed: “THERE IS NO JUSTICE IN THIS!!!” Or, as one of my nurses once said to me, “Cancer don’t discriminate.”

So, here we go again!, this time embarking on my baby sister’s preventative breast cancer screening journey at the place we’ve come to know and love: None other than Mayo Clinic’s Breast Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. 

Here is my baby sister heading in to her first ultrasound appointment in October 2019 at Mayo Clinic in Rochester!

October 2019: My baby sister’s preventative baseline breast cancer screening begins

As soon as my twin sister and I were both diagnosed with breast cancer within three weeks of each other in October 2019, my baby sister knew it was time to start her screening, too. Even though she was only 25 years old, she made an appointment to see our primary breast clinic doctor. My baby sister of course wanted to see the same Mayo Clinic Breast Clinic doctor my twin sister and I were seeing because, as I’ve said before, she’s the best doctor in the universe. 🙂

At my baby sister’s intake appointment on October 30th, 2019, she found out that our doctor has seen patients as young as 18 who have been diagnosed with breast cancer, so it’s not completely unheard of to see patients still in their teenage years dealing with a breast cancer diagnosis. Not that it makes being screened for breast cancer at the age of 25 any easier, but it’s true.

Unfortunately, our doctor found a small nodule during my baby sister’s physical exam that day. She ordered an ultrasound for the following week to investigate further. That’s the photo above–my baby sister, taking a selfie in her gown in the ultrasound waiting room, waiting to see if she had breast cancer, too!

Unfortunately again, we found out that the ultrasound radiologist thought one area on my baby sister’s left side looked “suspicious” and recommended a biopsy of the suspicious area. We were SHOOKETH. 

All ready for my baby sister’s ultrasound and my breast clinic appointments in December 2019! Smiles all around even though it was one of the most stressful months of our lives ‘:-) God is still good!

Sharing breast clinic doctors and appointments

One “fun” thing about all of this nonsense is that we all got to start sharing breast clinic appointments at Mayo Clinic together. On November 1st, 2019, I had a meeting set with our primary breast clinic doctor to discuss my surgical plan. But before we discussed my business, our doctor turned to my baby sister first who was sitting in the corner.

“So, you just couldn’t cooperate with us at your ultrasound, huh?” our doctor said, jokingly.

My baby sister laughed. “Nope!”

“Yeah, look what you started!” I said and pointed at our doctor.

“Actually, YOU started all of this!” our doctor said and pointed back at me.

We all laughed.

“I mean, really, I was the one who started all of this,” our mom said.

We howled.

I sometimes wonder what our consults sound like from the hallway of Mayo Clinic’s Breast Clinic. Before COVID19 hit, we had an average of 5 attendees per appointment, and we probably laugh more than your average breast cancer consult crew does! It’s a gift to be able to do that with our doctors. Being able to laugh in the midst of all of this is an amazing encouragement and blessing.

As one of my nurses said to me: “This all really sucks, but your outlook seems overwhelmingly positive.”

And I plan to always have it be that way! Jesus wins in the end, after all.

Our doctor then checked in with my baby sister about next steps–she ordered her an MRI and ultrasound-guided biopsy in December 2019, set to take place the night before and day of my double mastectomy with reconstruction operation. We all prayed that my baby sister’s “suspicious” area was absolutely nothing to worry about.

“We can only take so much!” my mom says. I agreed wholeheartedly.

Here’s my baby sister all set with her IV, ready to go into her first MRI in December 2019!

My baby sister’s first MRI and biopsy

Fast forward to December 2nd, 2019: My baby sister’s MRI was scheduled for 6:30pm on the night before my double mastectomy with reconstruction operation. It worked out well because everyone could head down to Rochester together, get dinner, have my baby sister’s MRI, then send me off into surgery.

The night of my baby sister’s MRI, she was extremely anxious. My mom and myself were able to accompany her back into the prep area (pictured above), which helped ease her anxiety a bit! Getting the IV started was no problem, and getting “gowned up” was no problem.

It was kind of strange, though–on our way back to get her all checked in, three EMT’s came through the MRI prep area with an empty stretcher. “EXCUSE US,” they said, and we had to push ourselves up against the wall of the hallway to let the EMT’s and stretcher pass. It seemed like an urgent situation and definitely didn’t help ease my baby sister’s anxiety in the slightest. “Is that stretcher for me?” she asked. We laughed nervously.

In the prep area, we reminded my baby sister she’d get plenty of warm blankets on her back from the technicians, she’d have earplugs to drown out the noise that I told her sounded like gnomes building a fortress (at least that’s what it sounded like to me during my first MRI and MRI biopsy), and she could hopefully pretend she was on a beach.

Here we are (me, my mom, and my baby sister!) all ready to send my baby sister back for her first MRI in December 2019!

We prayed together and reminded her the test would take 20 minutes or less and then it would be over. She smiled and left with the MRI technician to get her scan.

My mom and I returned to the waiting room where my husband and dad were waiting for us. We prayed and waited for what seemed like an eternity. Then, a nurse came out.

“Jane?” My mom stood up like a bottle rocket. I followed her over to the nurse.

“She wasn’t able to complete the scan,” the nurse said.

“Where is she??” my mom asked.

“She’s in a dressing room, asking for you,” the nurse said. “She’s pretty upset.”

So we knew she hadn’t been able to complete her first attempt at a preventative baseline breast cancer screening MRI.

I followed my mom into the dressing room, where my baby sister was recovering from a full-on anxiety attack.

“I’m so sorry!” she said through racking sobs and tears. “I couldn’t do it!!”

We reassured her that everything would be fine and that we’d figure it all out later. I asked the nurse what happened.

“She got into the tube but started shaking so much we couldn’t get good enough quality images,” the nurse said. “We can sometimes provide a sedative for patients with anxiety. We can also sometimes knock patients out cold, but that’s less common.”

My baby sister cried for a bit longer, and we helped her get dressed so we could head to dinner.

Ultimately, my baby sister wasn’t able to complete her first MRI due to an anxiety attack inside of the MRI tube. While I don’t personally suffer from anxiety attacks, I can imagine how crippling it must feel. My heart broke for my sister that night, watching her cry and knowing she felt like she let everyone around her–and herself–down.

My mom and I reassured her it wasn’t her fault and that everything would be fine, and that we’d figure it all out with the help of our breast clinic doctor. Ultimately, next steps would be to take a sedative before her next MRI, which would ease her anxiety and make the test possible. That would happen in 6 months. In the meantime, my baby sister had to face an ultrasound-guided biopsy the next morning–while I was in my double mastectomy with reconstruction operation.

Here is my baby sister taking a selfie with me in my hospital room right after her ultrasound biopsy that she had while I was recovering from my double mastectomy with reconstruction operation on December 3rd, 2019!

My baby sister’s ultrasound-guided biopsy

My baby sister got an ultrasound-guided biopsy the next day: on December 3rd, 2019. She was able to complete it (she’s smiling with me in the photo above right after her biopsy was complete!), and results came back benign–which was an incredible blessing. At her appointment with our breast clinic doctor to discuss results, it was decided she’d have another go at an MRI in 6 months to try again for a full preventative screening because MRIs are the “gold standard” of breast cancer screening, especially for a 25 year old!

As one example of how God’s timing is perfect, it turns out that my baby sister made an appointment for her second MRI attempt on the same day as my twin sister’s third infusion of T-DM1 in July 2020. So, even though there are visitor restrictions due to COVID19 precautions at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, God made it possible for me, my twin sister, her husband, AND my baby sister’s husband to all be at Mayo Clinic at the same day, at the same time!! My twin sister and her husband ran over from my twin sister’s chemotherapy infusion as soon as it ended and were able to hug and send off my baby sister right before her MRI at 5:30pm. (This is amazing in and of itself: That my twin sister felt well enough after a chemotherapy infusion to run across Mayo’s Rochester campus to say hi to and hug my baby sister before sending her off to her MRI :)).

So here we all are, taking a selfie in the MRI waiting room before sending my baby sister back for her scan!:

Here we all are: Me, my baby sister’s husband, my twin sister’s husband, my twin sister, and my baby sister, ready to send my baby sister off into her second MRI attempt in July 2020!

My baby sister’s second MRI attempt: SUCCESS!!!

Anxiety is not all that uncommon for individuals going through MRI exams. I experienced a bit of it during my MRI biopsy that lasted almost four hours, after all! So, luckily, my baby sister was all set to attempt another MRI: This time, with the help of a sedative (Ativan) and a guardian angel in the form of an MRI technician named Stephanie (just like my twin sister!!!) who stayed in the room with her and held her hand during the MRI!

I got to ride along down to Rochester to accompany my baby sister to her MRI along with her husband. She invited her husband as driver, and me for comic relief. 🙂  So off we went, ready to conquer the scan together inside of Mayo’s Charlton Building: Six months after my surgery, in the middle of my twin sister’s chemotherapy regimen, and all in the middle of a global pandemic!

Here is how my baby sister’s second MRI attempt went:

First of all: She got called back for her scan at 5pm. Her husband was able to go with her to the prep area which helped ease her anxiety immensely. They gave her .5mg of Ativan at 520pm, started her IV, and called her back for her MRI at 615pm. That gave her about an hour for the Ativan to kick in, which she was thankful for. They actually offered her 1mg of Ativan which is what the doctor had prescribed her with, but she only took half the dose. She said that, for next time, she’ll be taking the full dose offered to her. 🙂

When she was called back for her scan at 6:15pm, she was feeling somewhat relaxed, but on edge overall.

Her husband came back into the lobby area where we were waiting for updates and he told us that she was nervous but that the people in the back were super sympathetic and understanding and were really nice to her and were helping her out.

While we waited, we played Pokémon Go on our phones and reminisced about our journey so far. We prayed and wondered if our baby sister was going to make it through her exam. This was her second attempt, and we weren’t sure how it was going to go—so we asked for lots of prayers from everyone we knew and then a miracle happened: SHE DID IT!!!

Here are my two sisters after my baby sister dominated her preventative breast cancer screening MRI in July 2020! I love them both sooooo much!!!

How to overcome anxiety in an MRI exam

It turns out that, as soon as my baby sister went back to her exam room and the technician asked her if she was ready to get on the table to go into the MRI machine, my baby sister started bawling.

“Both of my sisters have had breast cancer, I’m scared to do this and don’t know if I can,” she babbled to the technician.

“It’s okay!” the technician said. “I’m so sorry to hear that. How are your sisters doing now?”

“Well, one of my sisters just had a chemotherapy infusion today,” my sister responded. “The other one had surgery in December!”

“I’m so sorry,” the technician said. “That’s so hard!”

“I really don’t think I can do this,” my sister said.

The angel of a technician then told her: “Would it be helpful if I stayed in here during the exam and held your hand?”

My baby sister looked at her in disbelief and said, “Is that safe??”

“Yes! We usually don’t have enough people to do this but today we do,” the angel of a technician responded.

And the technician decided she would stay with my baby sister and hold her hand through the entire scan. They even gave her a “Quease Ease,” which is designed to help with nausea.

I had no idea this was legal, or allowed, or okay–it was my understanding if anyone or anything stayed in an MRI room during the test they would explode. Apparently, I was wrong–OR it was actually a guardian angel in there with her! What’s amazing and incredible in addition to this technician’s generosity is that her name was Stephanie. That’s my twin sister’s name, too. 🙂 God is so good!

Technician Stephanie stayed with my baby sister for the entire scan, encouraged her the whole time, and when it was all over, my baby sister thanked her profusely.

After a half hour had passed, the doors to the MRI area opened and a technician called “Eric?” And off my baby sister’s husband went!

“She just got done and was asking for you,” the technician. Said as she ushered him back to the prep area.

My twin sister, who had just completed her third infusion of TDM1, jumped out of her chair in the waiting room and clicked her heels and started dancing around!!! We weren’t quite sure if our baby sister had actually completed her scan at that point for sure but shortly after my twin sister jumped up and down and clicked her heels our baby sister came out of the MRI area and said this:

So, my baby sister’s second attempt at an MRI was successful and we are SO grateful!!! The moral of the story is: 1) God is good 2) Jesus sends help in times of trouble and anxiety, sometimes in the form of sedatives and guardian angel MRI technicians 3) It’s okay to be scared and to ask for help!

Here my baby sister is with her husband, all ready for her follow-up appointment with our breast clinic physician in July 2020!

Next steps

My baby sister’s MRI showed some areas of concern on both sides of her chest, but “nothing scary,” according to our breast clinic physician. She had to go in for some advanced ultrasound screening on the morning before her follow-up with the physician, and thankfully, there was no need for a biopsy. Instead, there were two areas presumed to be “fibroadenomas.” Her breast clinic physician will follow up on those two fibroadenomas at her next follow-up appointment in 6 months. According to her breast clinic doctor, these findings are “normal” for a 25-year-old. (It’s still kind of crazy she had to start getting screened at age 25 but here we are!)

So, this is what our baby sister’s high-risk, BRCA-negative, 25-year-old (and now 26 year old!) breast cancer screening journey looks like:

• MRI screenings and/or clinical exams every 6 months
• Advanced screenings (ultrasounds) and biopsies (fine-needle, stereotactic, or MRI biopsies) as needed
• Lots of prayers and surrendering control of the journey to the Lord!

BRCA negative (?!?!!?)

One surprise for all of us was discovering that both my twin sister and me are BRCA negative–which was a shock to our genetic counselor, doctor, and ourselves!–especially given ovarian and breast cancer run in our family history. Because my twin sister and I are both BRCA negative, our baby sister is, too. That means our doctors can’t base our treatment or care on the fact we’re BRCA positive: Instead, her risk factors are more or less a question mark without any genetic mutations that they can point to. This means we all just go into a “high risk” category for ovarian and breast cancer all together given our family history. We are thinking about continuing genetic testing for the rest of our lives to see if the doctors and research scientists can find the gene mutation that caused both my twin sister and me (and my mom, at age 40!) to get breast cancer so early. We’ll see!

Prayers up!

Thank you all so much again now for your prayers for my baby sister. We are so proud of her overcoming her anxiety and accomplishing her first MRI scan and embarking on this journey toward preventative health. We also trust that God has a perfect plan and maybe, just maybe!, she won’t EVER have to deal with breast cancer in her entire life–because my mom, twin sister, and I took the bullet for her. 🙂

Until next time, Mayo Clinic Rochester–thanks for saving our lives!!! We love you!!!

This blog post is the 27th in a series about my (and my twin sister’s, and now baby sister’s) preventative breast cancer screening journey that began when we were 30 years old in July 2019. The 1st post is about my first mammogram ever; the 2nd post is about my consultation at Mayo Clinic’s Breast Clinic; the 3rd post is about my stereotactic core biopsy at Mayo Clinic’s Breast Clinic; the 4th post is about my diagnosis with “Stage 0” DCIS breast cancer; the 5th post is about my in-person DCIS diagnosis at Mayo Clinic, beginning thoughts on my surgery timeline, and discovering that my twin sister might have breast cancer, too; the 6th post is about my twin sister’s invasive ductal carcinoma clinical stage 2A breast cancer diagnosis; the 7th post is about my breast MRI and two ultrasounds to investigate “suspicious” spots on my right breast and liver; the 8th post is about my second DCIS diagnosis following a week of MRIs, ultrasounds, and biopsies at Mayo Clinic; the 9th post is about preparing for my twin sister’s chemotherapy appointments, including details about her egg banking procedure in the city; the 10th post is a summary of my sister’s ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome and visit to the emergency room; the 11th post is a summary of my double mastectomy surgery plan scheduled to occur on December 3rd, 2019 at Mayo Clinic’s Methodist Campus Hospital in Rochester; the 12th post is about my twin sister’s first chemotherapy infusion at Mayo Clinic; the 13th post is about foobs, photo shoots and nipple tattoos (my plastic / reconstructive surgery plan); the 14th post is a recap of my successful double mastectomy and immediate direct-to-implant reconstruction operation; the 15th post is about my surgical recovery and day full of follow-up appointments at Mayo Clinic in Rochester; the 16th post is about my one-month-post-surgical-follow-up appointment and preventative baseline ovarian cancer screenings at Mayo Clinic; the 17th post is about a suspicious rash I developed a month after my surgery called “pigmented purpura,” my consultation with a gynecological oncologist about ovarian cancer prevention, and my sister’s fifth chemotherapy infusion; the 18th post is about the end of my twin sister’s six neoadjuvant chemotherapy infusions (TCHP); the 19th post was about my twin sister’s double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery plan (amid the global outbreak of COVID19); the 20th post was about my twin sister’s double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction; the 21st post was about my twin sister’s surgical recovery; the 22nd post was about my twin sister’s first infusion of T-DM1 at Mayo Clinic; the 23rd post was about my six-month survivorship clinic visit; the 24th post was about my twin sister’s second infusion of T-DM1 at Mayo Clinic; the 25th post was about my twin sister’s third infusion of T-DM1 and her three-month plastic surgery follow-up appointment at Mayo Rochester; and the 26th post summarizes my twin sister’s fourth infusion of T-DM1 and microcystic edema. To keep tabs on new posts, sign up for the “A Daily Miracle” email list at this link.

Remember your first day of class when the teacher would ask you icebreaker questions? Everybody would roll their eyes and dread every single second of it, especially when it got to be their turn.

One of the questions that I remember almost always being a part of the icebreaker at some point was, “What is your biggest pet peeve?”

This was always a simple answer for me: When people share ice cream cones.

I know, it is weird. And is it really a pet peeve? I don’t know. However, what I do know is that there is nothing that disgusts me more than when people pass the icecream cone back and forth to eat it. It is GROSS.

Anyway, like I said. This was always my answer.

BUT… Lately, I think if I was sitting in a situation where this question was asked of me now, I think my answer might be different.

I know, I know, the anticipation is getting to hard to handle. What is it that I could possibly hate more than people sharing ice cream cones?!

Well, everybody… The answer to that is:

When people say things that they don’t mean. 

To me, words are SO important!!!!! (I know there are people out there that have never thought about the importance of words or think that I just feel this way because I am a writer…. But, that is FALSE.) When people take the time to share their thoughts, ideas, and feelings with you, that is IMPORTANT. So yes, I am one of those people who takes what people say to heart. I internalize whatever it is we are talking about and make sure that I value that they thought that they should share it with me. It could be something so minute and small, but to me, it still matters.

So you could see why it is so beyond frustrating to me when somebody says something that they end up not meaning?

In the wise words of my mom, Pam Parker, who engraved a few quotes and saying into my brain over the last 22 years…. SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY.

Don’t waste your time and your energy saying something to somebody because that is what you think that they want to hear. Understand that your words MEAN SOMETHING. That your time is IMPORTANT. And that the person that you are talking to cares and is listening so not saying what you really mean is just rude.

So what exactly do I mean? Here are some examples for you!

• When somebody asks if you are mad or upset about something because it is visible that you have some emotions towards whatever the situation may be, DO NOT SAY THAT YOU ARE FINE. 
• Don’t just say what you think people want to hear.
• If you don’t have any actual intention of going somewhere or doing something, don’t say that you are planning on it or that you want to. Be honest. 
• If your feelings change about something or somebody for whatever reason, ignoring or lying is not the answer. USE YOUR WORDS. People are going to respect you so much more if you just SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY. 
• It is completely okay to not like a person or a situation, there is no reason to lie… there are adult ways to handle situations in a responsible and mature way. 

Truthfully, I could go on and on in regard to this topic. I don’t understand why people feel like they have to say what they think others want to hear, but I am here telling you that there are people like me out there that want to hear your real thoughts and feelings.

So just try to be conscious about the conversations that you are having and how you are handling those situations in your life. Life is too short to not be honest with yourself and those people you surround yourself with.

And you might be thinking, “Sam, it is not that easy.”

Nothing is ever easy at first, but people say that practice makes perfect.

Forget debates.

What American TV needs is a showdown between Harris and Trump,  in the following form.

A SPELLING BEE

Winner’s party takes over the White House,

(Shh, don’t tell.  Im sure Trump supporters don’t watch the national spelling bees on PBS. Hence, they are in the dark (as they are pertaining to most everything) that East Indian-American students dominate the competitions year in and year out.

Kamala will crush!