It’s easy to get the impression that Natalie Chami dreams in music–she’s immersed in it in practically every minute of her waking life. By day, she teaches choir, vocal technique, and music technology at the Chicago High School for the Arts. She spends her free time immersed in Chicago’s experimental-music community, making noisy drones as one-third of Goodwill Smith and exploring ambient soundscapes with her solo project, TALsounds. In the decade or so that Chami has been active, she’s become a crucial contributor and even one of the faces of the city’s contemporary avant-garde electronic scene. She has a gift for elevating her wafting synths and spectral vocals into something that verges on the mystical, and she continues to use it masterfully on the fifth TALsounds album, Acquiesce (NNA Tapes). Chami recorded this material between spring 2018 and summer 2019, improvising her soothing meditations while reflecting upon changes in her life, including the meaningful relationship she’d built with her fiance. Her overdubbed vocals often shroud the sense of what she’s singing, but on the cinematic “Muted Decision” her lightly plinking seaside synths create nuanced shifts in mood all on their own. v
For those who wonder about the legitimacy of the studies and how well they are reported, this should be interesting news:
Make it clear in your coverage that models are only as good as the data used to build them, and that researchers currently lack high-quality data about this pandemic.
Explain to your audience that researchers also make assumptions when creating models.
Keep in mind that researchers use a variety of models to study infectious diseases. They are designed to answer different questions.
When reporting on a model that makes a numerical prediction — for example, the number of Americans who will die from COVID-19 during a period of time in the future — emphasize that the prediction is a ballpark estimate represented by a range of possible numbers.
Tell your audience what the study adds to what we know about that particular topic and which big questions remain.
Ask these seven questions when interviewing researchers about epidemiological models.
Give additional scrutiny to models created by researchers who have not demonstrated expertise in model building.
Be leery of epidemiology models from scientists who aren’t experts in epidemiology.
Use Twitter to find out what academics and others are saying about new research.
Learn more about epidemiological models. It will help you ask stronger questions and better explain coronavirus research in plain language.
To get further details on each point, follow the link.
How well do you think that journalists are following these guidelines? I’d say that it’s a mixed bag, but in general, not very well.
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Aisha Isreal shares the lessons learned after living with an undercover sex addict.
by Aisha Isreal
Fourteen years of my life were spent being married to a sex addict.
For many years, I thought he was incredibly forgetful, bad with time management, and simply immature. Once I began paying attention, and following up on information he gave me, I realized he was a liar. Knowing he was a liar, led to suspicions, which led to full on investigations. It wasn’t until after our second child was born that I found out he was actually having intercourse with other women, regularly.
And right before I filed for divorce, I discovered his porn activity…ASTOUNDING!!!
Although overindulgence could lead to addiction, neither a strong desire for sex nor frequent sexual activity can deem someone a sex addict. If you’re wondering if you’re living with a sex addict or a serial philanderer, here are just five of several signs to spot one.
First. A sex addict is a liar.
Lying has become such a habit, they may lie for no apparent reason. In the beginning of the relationship, they will put a lot of thought into making their lies believable. But the more and more they get away with lying, the less effort will go into their lies. They may actually get so comfortable with their activities and feel so secure that you’re not going anywhere that they will get careless with their lies. They may even eventually give up lying, and simply choose to give you no explanation at all; and blame your questions or suspicions on insecurity. Which leads into sign number two.
Second. A sex addict accuses you of cheating.
It’s a defense mechanism…or better yet, a distraction. This is so you will turn your attention away from your suspicions of them and put effort and energy into defending yourself. Don’t fall for the okey-doke! If you are being faithful, simply say “You know I’m not cheating,” and leave it at that.
Third. A sex addict is a narcissist.
Their needs take precedence over all other people’s needs and wants. They will do whatever needs to be done to meet their selfish needs. They don’t care who they hurt in the process. They are unrelenting. They may get angry, aggressive, and maybe even violent if you threaten to impede their needs being met. Or, they can play the victim. Whichever way they try to spin it, it will be to their advantage. They take, take, take, and rarely, if ever, give. If you feel like the energy or life is being sucked out of you, because you’re not getting anything in return, your boo is probably a narcissist.
Fourth. A sex addict is a predator.
They prey upon the very sympathetic or empathetic. They gravitate toward wounded souls, who will likely not resist their requests or demands. If you’re extremely lonely, needy or just “thirsty,” because you recently experienced heartbreak or have been single for a very long time, you’re a perfect target…I mean, mate.
Fifth. A sex addict has difficulty maintaining healthy relationships.
Often because they are preoccupied with sex. The movies they watch. The conversations they have. The activities they participate in. They may be intelligent and resourceful and find it easy to hide the truth from you. But living a double life is not the equivalent of maintaining a healthy relationship. They often lie and deceive to cover up what they are doing. And lies lead to more lies which lead to more covering up and more lies. They might beg you to stay if you threaten to leave. But ask yourself, what can they offer besides empty promises and feelings?
You deserve better.
Aisha Isreal is an author, public speaker and life coach. Her book, End of Silent Suffering: What Every Spouse of a Sex Addict Should Know, is now available on Amazon.
“Diversity is being invited to the party. Inclusion is adding music and style of dance.”
“Diversity without inclusion is violence.”
“Never Have I Ever” is the perfect blend of diversity and inclusion and a delightful coming of age story to boot.
Here are 5 ways the show is a great example of diversity and inclusion.
The protagonist Devi’s last name is Vishwakumar. Every single person in the show pronounces it easily without hesitation. Her last name isn’t a punch line where no one can pronounce it. She doesn’t have to correct anyone. It rolls off everyone’s tongue as easily as “Smith” or “Johnson.” Devis’ last name and other characters’ interactions with it don’t make her “other”.
The heartthrob of the story’s name is Paxton Hall-Yoshida. Producer and writer Mindy Kaling added “Yoshida” when she found out that the actor Darren Barnett is half Japanese. Paxton speaks in Japanese on a phone call, casually explains why and the world doesn’t stop. It doesn’t turn into a “very special episode” where he grapples with the Asian part of himself. It is simply a fact subsequently making the character more interesting and nuanced.
Paxton’s sister is white and has down-syndrome. Soon after we learn that Paxton is half Asian we learn that his white sister Rebecca is adopted and has down-syndrome. Paxton is protective of her because she’s been bullied in the past. Rebecca is smart, fashionable, applying for fashion school and ends up being the catalyst for a major plot point at the end of the first season. Again, no “after school special” just a character who gets to be who they are without excuse or justification.
Devi’s best friends are people of color. Eleanor is Chinese and Fabiola is Black and Mexican. It’s already groundbreaking that “Never Have I Ever” features an Indian female as its lead. Some producers might overcompensate and have at least one friend be White. Instead the audience experiences diversity on many levels including the friends’ parents who are not stereotypical(Both of Devi’s love interests are White and White presenting but that is a whole other conversation. I do appreciate that Devi’s cousin Kamala has a boyfriend who is Chinese.)
Devi’s therapist Dr. Jamie Ryan is Black. As a black actress I can’t count how many times I have auditioned for the therapist to a twenty or thirty something white protagonist. The black therapist is as much of a trope as the sassy black friend or magical negro. When the black therapist is helping a young woman of color the trope becomes something else. It speaks to a black therapist understanding the challenges a young woman of color faces even if that isn’t what they talk about. When Devi’s mother has a session with the therapist it is two women of color in synchronicity; a beautiful rarely seen dynamic.
Bonus: Iqbal Thebamakes an “appearance” toward the end of the series as Devi’s Uncle. He literally makes an entrance from behind a refrigerator door and I like to think it was Mindy Kaling’s way of paying homage to this stalwart character actor who I’ve only seen in smaller roles. In “Never Have I Ever” he is featured in multiple scenes and it was a joy to see the actor relax intro a character with major status in the family.
Whatever music is being played and whatever dance is being danced “Never Have I Ever” has room for everyone. I highly recommend it.
Tania Richard is an actress, writer, teacher, wife, and mother of four but not necessarily in that order. She is the owner and lead trainer of Improv Delivery-Improvisation Training for Professionals. www.improvdelivery.com
Her book “My So-Called Unexpected Life: 10 Things I Did to Meet and Marry My Man, Be A Stepmom, Have Babies, and Embrace The Life I Never Knew I Wanted is available at Kindle Direct Publishing and Smashwords. She likes Doritos.
For archived posts please go to http://trichard3.blogspot.com/
In the modern workplace, drinking at events is becoming the new norm. More than 50% of office parties in the United States include alcohol as part of the festivities, and less than half regulate the amount of booze employees drink. If you decide to serve alcohol at yours, it’s best to know the risks and plan ahead to minimize any accidents or improper conduct due to intoxication.
Here are a few ways to keep things under control and still host a fun office party.
Set a Limit
Avoid making the alcohol the focus of work events by setting a limit on the number of drinks employees may consume. Doing so will also prevent people from overindulging and engaging in risky behavior. One way you might enforce the limit is by issuing one or two drink tickets per person or hiring bartenders instead of allowing employees to self-serve. Moreover, don’t serve mixed drinks or punches that make it difficult for employees to gauge how much alcohol they’ve had.
Prepare for a Little Overindulgence
Of course, if people want to be drunk, they will certainly find a way — even if you are actively limiting alcohol consumption. Employees who want to party might have a drink or two before arriving, bring mini liquor bottles or even use others’ drink tickets. Therefore, you should prepare for a little overindulgence. Recruit managers to keep an eye out for these employees and discreetly put an end to their drinking for the evening.
Get Liability Insurance
You might also take a peek at your company’s insurance policy to determine whether or not you’ll be liable for misconduct due to overconsumption. In some cases, the law may even hold you responsible for any drunk driving accidents that occur after an intoxicated employee leaves the party. If you don’t have liquor liability coverage, purchase the insurance. After all, it’s better to be safe than sorry, regardless of how many drinks you plan to serve.
Provide Non-Alcoholic Options
Chances are not everyone on your team drinks alcohol. Whether you have a few recovering alcoholics or people who simply don’t enjoy drinking, it’s best to provide some non-alcoholic beverage options as well. Choose a few healthy beverages like vitamin water and organic tea and stock up on sodas and sparkling water. Even those sipping beers and wine will appreciate a bottle of water or ice tea to rehydrate.
Offer Safe Transport Home
Sometimes, even two drinks can be enough to send someone over the edge. Play it safe by offering free transportation home after the event. Pay for cabs to sit outside the building in case someone needs a ride. Or, designate a few managers to drive home any employees who couldn’t handle their liquor or overindulged. Both you and your workers will sleep better knowing they got home safe.
Plan Ahead and Have Fun
Determining whether to serve alcohol at your office party is a big decision — one you shouldn’t take lightly. If you do decide to provide alcohol, plan it carefully and take all necessary precautions. Doing so will keep everyone safe and make for a fun party your employees will remember fondly.
Hockey is one of the most demanding sports around. Keeping your balance while other massive players jostle you on ice takes incredible core strength. If you want to knock that puck in for a goal, you need upper body power and leg speed, as well.
How do the Chicago Blackhawks stay in shape? If you thought the pandemic slowed down their routine, think again. They are hard at work managing healthy diets and hitting the weights. They’re also incorporating less traditional workouts, such as tai chi and yoga. Here are some tips for emulating their example:
1. They’re Rediscovering In-Line Skating
If you thought in-line skating faded in the 1990s, think again. The best way to keep the muscles you need on the ice in peak shape is by emulating the movements used in the arena. While there are significant differences in the stopping techniques used for pavement and ice, the players are still blasting their quads and hamstrings.
They’re also keeping their hip flexors loose and the synovial fluid flowing around their knees. This bodily substance is what makes the knee cartilage flexible and friction-free for smoother movement.
2. They’re Cleaning Up Their Diets
If you are taking a work break due to decreased demand, you might sit on the couch eating ice cream and watching Netflix. However, if you want to get the physique of a pro, you need to take some tips from the Blackhawks players who are cleaning up their diets.
Take sugar, for example. The average person eats at least 360 calories of the sweet stuff per day. This intake results in added pounds around the waist and can spur addiction. Sugary foods increase the amount of available dopamine, a neurotransmitter also implicated in substance abuse. Rats that are fed sugar only occasionally will binge on it whenever it appears.
If you want to eat like a pro, try to reduce or eliminate the amount of sugar and other additives like salt and preservatives in your diet. Focus on plant-based whole foods with complex carbs and add lean proteins to round out your plate.
3. They’re Modifying Weight-Room Workouts
Gyms are gradually reopening across America, but the Blackhawks didn’t hit pause on their workouts during quarantine, anyway. To maintain the sort of power they need on the ice, they’re lifting weights in their living rooms when need be. They’re replacing moves like sled hack squats with dumbbell versions. You can emulate their style by keeping a set of dumbbells behind your couch and performing biceps curls and triceps extensions during commercial breaks.
4. They’re Ditching the Barbells Entirely
You have to train hard to match the physical prowess of National Hockey League (NHL) superstar Patrick Kane — which may mean ditching the dumbbells altogether. Take heart if you lost your job as gyms shuttered. You can work out like this pro by using plyometrics, tai chi, yoga and resistance bands.
Do you have stairs in your home or a front porch stoop? You can perform step-ups or modified box jumps. If you can get anywhere close to perfecting yoga moves like the Taraksvasana, you don’t need to touch another barbell to prove your fitness level.
Get in Your Best Shape by Working Out Like a Pro
If you want to get in shape like the pros, you need to train the way they do. Try incorporating tips from the Chicago Blackhawks into your home fitness routine and reap the rewards with peak performance.
With most sports around the world on pause, revisit iconic sports moments from the past to help fill that void.
Sports Illustrated’s’s Robin Lundberg reacts to a fan’s scouting report in 1994 of Michael Jordan and details the adjustments MJ would have had to make to play in the NBA today.
Oprah Winfrey delivers powerful message to Class of 2020.
During the 90 minute live-streamed commencement ceremony (I saw it on Facebook Watch but know it appeared on other channels too), co-hosted by Mindy Kaling and B.J. Novak, a variety of stars gave advice to the graduating seniors including Jennifer Garner, Awkwafina, Amy Schumer, Matthew McConaughey, Gloria Estefan, Selena Gomez, Ashley Graham, Gordon Ramsey, Marlee Matlin, Steve Harvey, Usher, Sebastian Maniscalco, Tim Tebow, Andy Cohen, Rob Lowe, musician Marshmallow, Dice Nice, Hugh Jackman, model Winnie Harlow, Simone Biles, John Mayor and dozens of others. Even Cookie Monster made an appearance.
The ceremony acknowledged high schools and colleges in the U.S. by name, state by state, that included photos and videos of the class of 2020 and messages from deans and principals from across the country.
Miley Cyrus “sang” ” her hit song “The Climb” that looked more like lip-synching to me (my own opinion) but at least she was there. And Jennifer Garner introduced a spectacular group of high school students called the “Intonations” that was so talented.
One of the students spotlighted was Ashley Lawrence, a senior studying education for the deaf and hard of hearing at Eastern Kentucky University. She created face masks for the hearing impaired that has a clear plastic window in the middle for lip reading. She shared the pattern with people from across the globe who had contacted her. She is also trying different things for people with cochlear implants and hearing aids if they can’t wrap around the ears. Brava Ashley! You’re already a difference-maker!
Here are some comments/advice the celebs had for the class of 2020:
John Mayer’s advice–“I don’t have to wait on the world to change anymore because I know, more than ever, that the generation you’re in has this handled.”
Matthew McConaughey–“Don’t worry if you’re not quite sure what you want to do in life. I’m 50 and have many days where I’m still not quite sure what I want to be. But I work on it, stay the process and try to enjoy it as much as I can.”
Simone Biles (world’s most decorated gymnast)–“As an athlete, there’s nothing quite like the bus ride home after a win. You’re happy because you’ve nailed it. This is your bus ride home. Your victory lap. I know you’re missing your medal ceremony but that ceremony doesn’t change a thing. You’ve already won.”
Steve Harvey-” It’s the dreams I had in high school that made me what I am today. I’m a major, major star. I ain’t messing around man. If it happened to me, why can’t it happen to you? You have to lock in on that dream and never give up.”
Tim Tebow (all American quarterback)–“Life is not about tomorrow, it’s not about the next day. It’s about this day. And every day when you show up, know that you can show up with purpose and passion, every single day.”
Marshmallow-“Really look at yourself and ask what do I love doing, what makes me happy?”
Rob Lowe–“Right now, you all have the ability to be the greatest generation the world has ever seen.”
To watch Oprah’s powerful and inspiring commencement address, click HERE!
Congrats to the Class of 2020! May you light up the world with your good work!
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I’m a media personality/social columnist/blogger/Playboy centerfold who writes about Chicago (and beyond) with nightlife/parties/celebs/fashion/art/culture/entertainment news on Chicago Now, my blog CandidCandace.com, my Chicago Tribune Sunday “Life and Style” column (“Candid Candace”) and my award-winning internet show (“Candid Candace TV”) on YouTube. Contact me at [email protected].
My wife and I became foster parents almost a year ago and just two days after our license became active I got The Call. The call we had been wondering about and hoping for. The call that would potentially bring our future children into our lives. I had kept my phone on with the ringer turned up, even during group fitness classes and work. I didn’t want to miss our first chance.
Sure enough, I was at work when the phone rang. At the time I was working as a journalist at a local newspaper, on deadline and expecting calls from various sources. I answered my cell phone, hoping it meant I could finally file the daily story I’d been working on.
It was, instead of the hard to catch Mayor, a social worker with a child in need of a home. A little girl, 7. I drilled her with questions – Why has she come into care? Why is she being moved from her current home? What relatives are involved? Is mom following her case plan? How long is the case expected to take? When are visits, and who takes care of transportation? Where is she from? Does she have special needs, medical concerns, current diagnoses, allergies? What is the goal (reunification, adoption?) Does she get along with other children? What does she like to do? Does she have clothing, toys? Is she afraid of dogs, as we have several? Satisfied with the answers I received, heart beating out of my chest, I told the caseworker I would call her back within the hour with an answer.
I called my wife to ask her opinion and we talked it out, and decided to take the plunge.
Our first foster child. L moved in a week later, with a few boxes and bags of clothing, toys. My two step-children were thankfully home the weekend she moved in, which helped ease the awkwardness of welcoming a new family member.
Nearly a year on, L is still with us. For nine months we also nurtured and raised E & E, ages four and one (age 2 when they left.)
We have learned a lot this year and navigated the difficulties of raising children who come with not only trauma and special needs, but an arsenal of therapists, caseworkers, judges, lawyers, family members, biological parents and mounds of paperwork. E & E have since reunified in part. Their grandmother agreed to care for them while their biological mother completed the last steps of her plan in a hopefully successful attempt to get them back.
This blog is meant to share my experience as a foster and step mom. A mom to those who need one. A mom to those caught in the middle of what is the worst trial a family unit can go through, hence the name Motherhood in the Middle. My wife and I are mothering children who aren’t our own. Mothering in the middle of trauma and grief. Mothering through the middle of constant uncertainty. Mothering through the middle of crisis and chaos. Family for a time, but likely not forever. Forever in our hearts, yes, but functionally a family serving those in need in the midst of trauma. In between the abuse and neglect, before but toward the ultimate goal of reunification.
“Mommy, I miss my other Mommy.”
My daughter, our first placement, now 8, walked into my room from playing outside today to tell me that. I gave her a hug and reassured her that its OK to miss her bio-mom, and that she would get to speak to her this coming weekend. She went back outside to play, seemingly cheered for a moment. She misses her mom often, and we talk about her a lot. They call and chat. We text. We share photos and snippets. She has voiced hurt that L calls me Mommy, but it is a title we share regardless.
I will be sharing some posts from the past year over the next few days, since I have been writing on my personal Facebook page since our journey began. To clarify in advance, we have three at home — I hate labels and in daily life don’t refer to my children as “step” or “foster” but for the purpose of background info we have L, age 8, foster and Hannah, 11 and Billy, 9 my step kids, my wife’s biological children who we have joint custody of and see every other week.
Welcome to our life. It’s not perfect by any means, and I feel like I screw up in some way everyday when it comes to this motherhood thing. But I keep trying. I keep researching. Most importantly, I keep connecting and showing up regardless. I look forward to you joining me on this journey.
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