Lots more people want to help.

A personal story about how Aid for Women helped her through and after her pregnancy.

There it is again, a question from a pro-choicer that’s intended as the final gotcha.

This came from a regular reader in a comment on my column about the Texas abortion law: “Would you be willing to adopt an unwanted baby whom the Texas anti-abortion law compels a woman to bear?”

Again and again, the question arrives, as if you won’t adopt a child destined to be “terminated” (i.e. aborted), you’re a hypocrite and all your pro-life assertions fall like a house of cards.

Well, no, I’m 79 and would soon leave whomever I’d adopt an orphan. But moving beyond the personal, it’s among the weakest of arguments. For example, “Would you be willing to adopt one of those unaccompanied minors that are flooding across the southern border?” Or, “How about an Afghan fleeing the Taliban?” Or “A struggling and impoverished black child from the South Side whose drug addicted mother has given up?”

Moreover, this might surprise my correspondent, in 1995 I wrote about such a couple in my Chicago Sun-Times column:

Abe Hecht holding son Marvin, 1928 (see Mom, I think I’m poignant!)

Every month, ChicagoNow holds a contest to determine the best posts that appeared on ChicagoNow in the previous month.

Of the more than 500 posts that were published during the month of August, these 20 were determined to be the best.

Bonnie’s EYE On…! RESPECT — Film Review

Cheating Death A dog named Oliver stays with us over the weekend and reminds me of an important lesson that humans must learn

Cheating Death You are a bad-tempered, surly, argumentative, self-centered, cranky and cantankerous old geezer and that’s just for starters

Chicago Board of Tirade Do masks put a TARGET on your back?

Chicago Board of Tirade Who are “We the People”?

Chicago’s Art and Beer Scene When produce meets art!

Chicago Weather Watch These are the dog days

Comedians Defying Gravity Dance and laugh your A** off at Ian Lockwood’s pop fantasy this Sunday

Cut Out Kid Celebrating My 800th Post As A ChicagoNow Writer!

Go Do Good! Wouldn’t it be nice if we all had a bit of Mickey Mouse in us?

Hot Dog Diaries Wrigley Field Hot Dogs: A Conspiracy Theory

I’ve Got the Hippy Shakes Homelessness is in your backyard

I’ve Got the Hippy Shakes The legends of rockand roll tell what Charlie Watts meant to them

JUST SAYIN A SHAMEFUL CITY/A COPS DEATH/THE MAYHEM BEAT GOES ON/ MORE SHOCKING VIOLENCE/Chicago’s Cops are Listening to Bob Dylan

Medium Rare Fast Food Avengers: The Chicken Wars (Part 1)

Mom, I Think I’m Poignant! My great-grandmother died in 1918, a victim of the infamous flu pandemic; here’s part of the story in real time

Opinionated Woman The raw, uncomfortable truth about racism from a black woman who’s experienced it

The Quark In The Road On Milkweed: A Layman’s Take (with apologies to Margaret Serious)

The Quark In The Road Thoughts on Left-handedness

Retired in Chicago If you’re falling short of 10,000 steps

[DISCLOSURE: A complimentary copy was provided for review purposes. All links are non-affiliate links, and all opinions are my own]

Over the past five years, social media usage has shifted away from communications and marketing and into darker areas. Two years ago, P.W. Singer’s Likewar: The Weaponization of Social Media outlined how social media has been used to drive dissension and division. However, Charles Arthur outlines how social media networks have facilitated this process in Social Warming: The Dangerous and Polarizing Effects of Social Media from Oneworld Publications.

In his book, Charles Arthur describes “social warming” as a gradual process that occurs over time and usually happens (in his words)

“…when interactions between people who used to be geographically separated and infrequently exposed to each other’s views are more frequently brought together, and kept in orbit around topics that will engage them and create addictive experiences”

With social networks becoming increasingly accessible (and mobile devices/smartphones becoming more available), there are greater opportunities for network algorithms to amplify “engaging” posts. This amplification of posts encourages users to log in more frequently and for longer periods of time. Since this process is unregulated and unrestricted, users become gradually more accepting – and less critical – of social media content.

Throughout Social Warming, Charles Arthur highlights key examples of how unchecked social media activity has adversely influenced social media user behavior. For example, he sites social media’s over-reliance on algorithms to promote “engaging” content without context as a factor in swaying political and social thought. Arthur also notes how “scissor statements” (things said to deliberately spike controversy and division) have often driven further dissension. Social Warming also highlights how a lack of foresight and critical thinking on the part of social media networks drove a wide variety of political and social upheavals, with one chapter dedicated to issues around COVID-19 misinformation and conspiracy theory.

Although making similar arguments to the previously mentioned Likewar, Charles Arthur focuses on how the leadership and procedures within social media networks have frequently abdicated responsibility through relying heavily on algorithms, developing a laissez-faire attitude towards monitoring, and focusing exclusively on user growth. Arthur makes various concrete, practical recommendations for social media network leadership towards the end of Social Warming.

Like many other people, I saw social media as a unique way of connecting people across communities. As a professional, I worked to help smaller organizations and nonprofits (as well as larger brands) use social media in a healthy, ethical way. Although it is easy to make social media the ultimate cause of dissension and division, Charles Arthur’s Social Warming: The Dangerous and Polarizing Effects of Social Media makes a very strong case for that belief.

And thankfully, provides some solutions. Highly Recommended.

Please feel free to continue the conversation on our Facebook page, or leave a comment below.

And as always, thanks for reading!

Connor Sampson and the WIU offense hung with FBS Ball State for three quarters last weekend in its season-opening game. (Photo by GoLeathernecks.com)

A week after hanging with an FBS team for three quarters, the Western Illinois football team will face a Montana program that pulled off one of the biggest FCS vs. FBS upsets in recent years.

At 7 p.m. Saturday, the Leathernecks travel to Missoula to face the Grizzlies, who defeated Washington, ranked No. 20 by one preseason FBS poll, 13-7, in Seattle.

“They physically dominated that football game,” WIU coach Jared Elliott said on his weekly coaches show. “We’re playing a better football team in Montana than what we just played. It’s going to be a great challenge for us.”

Western provided its own excitement in a 31-21 loss against defending Mid-American Conference champion Ball State. The Leathernecks outgained BSU, 437-404, and trailed by only seven points after three quarters.

“Obviously, I walked away very proud of how our kids competed and battled throughout all four quarters,” Elliott said. “There’s no question this is a much-improved football team. We had plenty of opportunities to do what we expected to do, and that was to win the game. Week 1 to Week 2, there’s a lot of maturation that can happen with a football team.

“We need that in a lot of areas for us to get to where we want to go,” he said.

The biggest areas of growth needed are third-down efficiency on offense and limiting big plays on defense.

Western (0-1) was 3-for-13 on third down in the game and punted on four of its first five drives.

“We’ve got to find a way to go out there and be more consistent,” Elliott said. “Third downs are glaring. It took us a little while to get into a groove. There’s no questions we wanted a faster start on offense than what we did. … You’ve got to stay on the field to finish drives.”

Despite the early stumbles, senior quarterback Connor Sampson threw for 367 yards and two touchdowns, with senior wide receiver Dennis Houston posting a career day with 12 catches for 237 yards and two touchdowns.

On defense, Western allowed scoring plays of 49, 48 and 21 yards.

“Half of their yardage came off of explosive plays,” said Elliott, whose team allowed 220 rushing yards.

Ranked opponent

Montana jumped five spots in this week’s national poll – from ninth to fourth – after beating Washington.

Montana got the job done on defense, limited Washington to 65 rushing yards and grabbing three interceptions.

Defensive standout

Senior defensive back Michael Lawson picked up where he left off during his impactful spring season.

In the fall season opener at Ball State, Lawson compiled a game-high 14 tackles, forced two fumbles, recovered a fumble and broke up a pass.

“He has that emotional edge to him and plays with a lot of tenacity,” Elliott said.

The WIU coach noted that his team showed an improvement in tackling against Ball State.

Winning up front

Sampson completed 30 passes and was sacked twice and hurried only once.

Elliott credited the offensive line of senior transfers DeJohn Jones (Prairie View A&M) and Will Waddell (Grambling), junior transfer Yoesph Carter (Jackson State), junior Brandon Malkow and sophomore Matt Muetterties.

While Jones and Carter were making their first starts for WIU, Malkow is the most experienced with 13 career starts, followed by Waddell (seven) and Muetterties (six).

“The more that those five guys play together and build that harmony, the better we’re going to be,” Elliott said. “They did a good job keeping Connor clean. We weren’t pressured very often. We put a step forward in the right direction, especially on our offensive line.”

Where to find the game

The Leathernecks kick off at 7 p.m. in a game that airs on ESPN-Plus online. The radio call is available online at mixlr.com/wiu-athletics.

One puff Advair, 1 Singulair, 2 hits of Nasacort, 1 Zyrtec, 2 puffs Albuterol, 1 Benzonate, 3 Ibuprofen, sometimes Tylenol.

In August 2021, I took these medications every day to perform School Girls; or the African Mean Girls Play. We were the first Chicago production to do in-person performances with a live audience since March 2020. The show was shut down three days before opening due to the pandemic. There was promise that we’d pick up as soon as the virus “cleared”. 2-3 weeks turned into 16 months.

In March 2020 I also got Covid. After Covid, I got pneumonia. “Congratulations on surviving,” a cardiologist said in a follow up exam. The X-ray looked like my lungs were a sky full of clouds.The pneumonia was worse than Covid. All told, I was in bed for 4 weeks. 

When I was somewhat in the clear a simple walk exhausted me. I felt lousy all the time. I experienced excruciating fatigue and memory loss. At times I forgot what I was saying mid-word. What was once seasonal asthma is now chronic.

“Ya know how Mommy does one thing a day and then is exhausted and has to sleep for hours?” I asked my kids weeks after the pneumonia cleared. They nodded. One daytime activity with them resulted in my returning to bed past dinner.

I saw a general practitioner, a pulmonologist, a cardiologist and a breathing specialist. My lung X-ray shocked the cardiologist. He wondered out loud why the pulmonologist never gave me a breathing test. Clear medical bias was in play. My white stepson had tests and saw specialists when he had breathing issues in the same time period. The first time I felt heard and taken seriously my Doctor was Black.

Every few months I’d get an email from my agent checking my availability for a return to School Girls. The Goodman producers were bringing the show back as soon as it was safe. The first dates came and went. The second dates came in April. Finally, the producers slated rehearsals to begin on July16th with an Aug 2nd opening. 

I said I was available because…of course. “Available” meant determined to finish what I started. Available mentally and physically? I wasn’t sure.

March 2020 was the happiest I’d ever been in a professional context. I never felt such a sense of belonging. I was in a cast of all Black women, directed by a Black woman, in a play written by a Black woman.

16 months later, I am a woman who came close to death and existed from her bed for weeks while two children learned online and a husband worked from home. I’m a woman who delivered 22 online antiracism workshops in the aftermath of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Ahrbery and Botham Jean. I conducted a workshop the same day Breonna Taylor’s murderer escaped accountability. The participants of the workshop were white. I held a moment of silence before I began. I wished I didn’t have to speak at all. 

My sense of hope and what was possible was completely jaded. In March of 2020, School Girls rehearsals and previews were a highlight of my career. 16 months later the show was a painful reminder of how life can annihilate hopes and dreams. When humans make plans, God laughs. I didn’t dare hope again. I didn’t dare believe the show would actually open in August.

It all felt daunting. ”Let me get this straight,” I’d joke, “I’m supposed to leave my house. Everyday. For weeks in a row. Interact with other human beings other than my family. Pack a lunch. Drive a car further than Target. Rehearse. A play. In person. Be out of my house for 8 hours. In a row. Also, be a mom and a wife. Huh.”

I kept thinking to myself, “I want to show up as my authentic self. I don’t want to stuff everything I’ve been through in a box and present my happy-smiley-professional face.

Professionalism is important to me. I like being reliable, on time if not early; an example for other cast members. There have been times though, that I buried parts of myself to maintain that persona.

In 2012, my youngest child, age 2, went into the hospital because of breathing issues. She had to stay overnight and I slept in the room with her. The following day I had the first day of rehearsal for a major show at a major theatre. I couldn’t fathom telling the stage manager I couldn’t attend due to a family emergency. Instead, my husband called off work so he could spend the day with her as they completed tests.

It’s fine that my husband was with her but I wanted to be there as her mother. My baby wasn’t well. Not only did I attend the first rehearsal when I had a kid in the hospital, I didn’t tell anyone about my situation. I felt compelled to appear as if everything was fine.

In order to protect her voice, ingénue Lauren Ambrose skipped Sunday matinees of My Fair Lady on Broadway in 2018. Her co-star; veteran Dame Diana Riggs was not happy.

In an email she wrote:

“I learnt, courtesy of a newspaper, that our leading lady will not be appearing in future Sunday matinees. It is time managements put their audiences first and insist on the old adage, slightly adapted by me, ‘The show must go on — with ALL principals.’” 

“Rigg stood by her statement, complaining about the work ethic of a younger generation of actors, and pointing out that when she did Medea in 1994, she busted a vocal cord in rehearsals and moved on. “There was a note in the spectrum of my voice that I could not hit. No sound would come out,” she said. “So I had to reorchestrate all those speeches and arias to avoid that note. It was a fascinating exercise in learning how to keep going.” Kids these days, with their avocado toast and their functioning vocal cords!

Vulture Magazine

Rigg’s sentiments are a perfect example of what is the expected norm in theatre culture. 

In July I was on WGN radio promoting the show when the host referred to me as “a veteran performer” I thought, “Holy shit, I’m a veteran performer!” I never thought of that before. With School Girls I was also the oldest person in the cast; old enough to be the majority of the casts’ mother. Not a particularly young mom, either. 

My generation of actors bought the “show must go on” bill of goods. We fell for it hook line and sinker. The younger generation isn’t buying it. They boldly protect themselves from an industry that considers actors’ needs last.

I spent the week leading up to rehearsal worried about how I was going to make it through the process. I thought I’d need certain accommodations but was uncertain about making them known. Do I present myself as a COVID long hauler or try to act as if I’m fine; the same gal who rehearsed the show Round 1?

I didn’t want a target on my back so I decided I would address my needs on a case by case basis. I rationalized this by thinking, “Maybe I’ll be fine and I won’t need any special attention.” In truth, I had a looming fear long hauler would show up on my “permanent record”.

“Oh Tania? She’s a long hauler. She can’t handle this role.” The thought sent shivers down my side because it was outside my control.

The first day of rehearsal was joyous yet cautious. After a meet and greet with staff via Zoom, the cast and director turned toward one another.

Lili-Anne, the director, said,

“Let’s check in and see where we are. This is a lot.”

With that statement, she reflected the complexities of our return. She captured how we were on top of the world, living our dreams as Black empowered women making art together. She pinpointed how our hearts shattered when the show shut down. She summoned George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Botham Jean, Christian Cooper and more into the space.

One by one we shared our experiences from the last 16 months. One by one our trepidation turned to trust and we spoke our truth.

“I am physically and emotionally exhausted,” I said as I started a pretty cry; eyes cast upward, light tears. “The past 16 months have been rough. I feel like a completely different person…” Then I spilled the beans as if being that vulnerable was the first thing on my agenda rather than the last. They met me with total support, empathy and love. Speaking my truth from the get go was one of the best choices in self-care I’ve ever made.

The next day, Alden the stage manager whom I’ve known for over thirty years sat next to me at the beginning of rehearsal. “Tania, I want you to know we’ve got you. We don’t want you to ever feel pressure to perform or be at rehearsal. Your understudy is ready. We have your back.”

Now, I was on the edge of an Oprah-level ugly cry. I was moved, relieved and grateful. In one monologue, Alden alleviated my stress. The director and the stage manager set a tone that enabled me to show up as my authentic self.

And I did.

All this happened at the same time Naomi Osaka and Simone Biles were in the news for their self advocacy. Their “audacious” display of self care was inspiring and emboldening. Their bravery held me accountable throughout the process.

What would Naomi do? 
What truth would Simone reveal?

I asked for what I needed. Got it. I made it through. We opened. We had a hell of a successful run.

There’s a moment in the play where I run center stage and scream, “Hey! That’s enough!” to stop chaos all around me. During rehearsal I struggled to produce the sound through my inflamed airwaves. It always came but it never felt guaranteed and it was never the same level as my first round as the character.

On opening night, the moment came and my voice broke through. Not only did I silence the characters on stage, the audience fell dead silent, too. 

My director Lili-Anne said this to me at the opening night party:

“This process has been about you struggling to get back your voice. And in that moment you did it.”

She understood the literal and metaphorical sentiment of what she reflected.

At the end of run, I was down to two medications. I had my normal amount of energy. Fatigue was due to an 8 show schedule cuz an 8 show schedule is hard, yo.

Standing in my truth throughout; being my full self enabled me to be at my most powerful. Through the process, my body sustained me and got me through. Since I admitted from the start that I needed support I was able to pace myself. I gave my body what it needed. I didn’t have to overcompensate and put on a game face. The truth gave me strength and energy.

Moving forward, as artists, as humans, I wish you the same.

The company of School Girls; or, the African Mean Girls Play on Opening Night

For For bonus content related to this article including action items on creating an inclusive, equitable rehearsal and production space, resources and more become a member at Buy Me A Coffee. With membership you will get 3 pieces of exclusive content (including antiracism education content, personal essays, pop culture deep dives, excerpts from works in progress, Q&A, virtual events) each month.

The New York Times published a recent article that showed the odds of getting Covid after being vaccinated at 5000 to 1.

Meet a One.

It never crossed my mind that what I thought was a bad cold or maybe the flu was actually Covid. Yeah, the symptoms were almost identical but they disappeared so quickly that I was almost ready to get on with normal life activities. Almost!

It was the damn cough. I get coughs on a regular basis. I can normally deal with them without any issues. This one was different. It was deep enough that each hack sent a shooting pain into my ribs. It hurt enough that I made what I hoped would be a quick trip to the local urgent care to see if they could give me some pain meds. The doctor on call first suggested a Covid test. I didn’t see the point but figured it couldn’t hurt. I could deal with a Q-tip up my nose. No biggie…I’ve had worse.

POSITIVE!

While I was in a bit of shock with the diagnosis, what he followed with shocked me more. “I can set you up with an appointment for monoclonal antibodies treatment. Interested?”

I think after a few moments with my mouth wide open in surprise, my response was ” I thought it was almost impossible to get that. Only people like Trump and the Texas Governor Abbott get it? Are you sure it’s not Ivermectin or hydroxychloroquine?”

The doctor smirked at my response. He told me it wasn’t funny and said “You want it or not?”

C’mon man, it was a little funny, right? I guess there’s nothing funny about giving medicine meant for a horse or cow to someone who is hoping for a miracle life-saving cure. Imagine how desperate you must be to try this. And yes, I did want the antibodies. So, I shut my mouth, went home and waited for their appointment center to call me.

My phone actually rang as I was walking in the door; which was another surprise considering it was Labor Day. I had my choice of times. Really! Sometimes you’re better off not asking too many questions. Just shut up and take what they give you. This was one of those times.

So yesterday afternoon, I walked into another urgent care office. Three hours later my body was full of those antibody things. I still have no idea what they actually are or how they work; only that it has to be better and safer than Invermectin, hydroxychloroquine, bleach or whatever the latest scam treatment you can find being plugged on Fox News or Newsmax.

Besides, if Monoclonal antibodies are good enough for Trump and Abbott, they’re good enough for me. WOW…this thing has turned my brain to mush…or actually more mush. Hmmm…I wonder if Fox News recommends anything for that.

Related Post: Is it Covid or the common cold?

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