“Dude… it is not that deep.”
today at 9:31 pm
“You got your whole life ahead of you, don’t rush it!”
“You are only 22, you don’t need to have it all figured out.”
These are two of the numerous statements I hear from people continuously when talking about my dating life or the lack thereof it. (And let me guess, I am not the only one who hears these statements…)
And in the end, I agree with them… But not for the reason that you would think.
Yes, I have my whole life ahead of me. Yes, I don’t need to rush anything and have all of the answers. Yes, I am ‘only’ 22…. But none of these are the reasons that I am perfectly content not dating somebody.
It is simply because dating in today’s world fricken SUCKS.
If we were sitting having drinks and casually talking about this and how dating in today’s society is awful, I would probably tell you to refrain from getting me started and try to change the subject.
However, here I am… already heated and ready to go.
I HATE IT.
What is the enjoyment of having to strategically find a way to get somebody’s attention throughout whatever form of social media is not the “creepiest” because it would just be too awkward and weird to say hello? Yes… let me just like a photo of yours from a month ago at 2:45 a.m.
What is the fun of spending 45 minutes of your time crafting the most perfect response so that you portray the perfect amount of interested, but not too interested?
Oh, and good for you… because you waited 45 minutes to respond to his text message – Which was longer than the 32 minutes he took to respond – you have the upper hand. (Do I sound crazy yet?)
Do you like wondering if everybody else just got that morning snap that you just got because ‘streaks’? Or how about how the guy can so easily just act like you don’t exist anymore by simply ‘ghosting’ you?
How about the awful thoughts that go through your head after you hang out with the person and you wonder if they were thinking the same things that you were? Did they enjoy it as much as you did? Oh, but don’t get too ahead of yourself there… It was probably just nothing. (It ain’t that deep.)
Maybe I feel this way because it is just the overthinker in me, or maybe it is because I am sensitive… Or maybe, just maybe it is because all of this dating stuff is just truly messed up and awful. For the sake of my feelings and getting off on another tangent none of us have time for today, I am going to continue with the fact that it is because dating today is horrendous.
And guess what… It doesn’t have to be so complicated.
You don’t have to be so afraid to show that you care about another human.
And contrary to popular belief you don’t have to be passive-aggressive on your posts on social media to tell somebody how you are feeling.
Oh, wait, yes you do… and that is exactly why you will find me in my bed after a night out watching Vampire Diaries and eating goldfish by myself.
All of the things I described above are exactly what dating in today’s society is now, and it is exactly why I am perfectly okay agreeing with the fact that I have my whole life ahead of me because I have chosen to not play by the crazy rules, or treats others poorly.
It is all so exhausting.
If you like somebody you should be able to get to know them without all of these rules. If you want to be able to hang out with somebody, you should be able to without overthinking it. AND FOR GOODNESS SAKES, if you don’t reciprocate feelings or don’t want to continue talking to somebody be a decent human and USE YOUR WORDS. (It is OKAY, not everybody is meant to be together!)
(And no, I am not bitter… It is just my hope that in this chaotic world there is somebody out there who doesn’t think it is weird if I pick up the phone and call him instead of sending a message on Snapchat. If you are out there, please let me know!)