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3 insane Patrick Kane trade packages with Colorado AvalancheVincent Pariseon March 5, 2022 at 1:00 pm

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(Photo by Stacy Revere/Getty Images)

A few months ago, we speculated that the Colorado Avalance would be one of the teams looking to make a big move at the NHL trade deadline. It makes sense to wonder if Patrick Kane would be on their radar and if the Chicago Blackhawks would be willing to part ways with him.

Now, it came out that the Avalanche has in fact inquired on Kane. David Pagnota, also known as The Fourth Period, went on NHL Network and confirmed that they are interested in him if the Hawks are willing to do so.

The Avalanche are also in on other stars around the league, including Philadelphia Flyers captain Claude Giroux. It will certainly be interesting to see if they actually have what it takes to pull the trigger on something big, especially a move as big as Patrick Kane.

(Sorry in advance for the caps, but they’re necessary)

THE AVS INQUIRED ABOUT PATRICK KANE!! WHAT?!?!@TheFourthPeriod | #NHLNow pic.twitter.com/tjLDABR3CM

— NHL Network (@NHLNetwork) March 5, 2022

If Kane gets traded before this contract is up, he will probably be the best and most decorated player traded in a very long time. The Avalanche are extremely good so it makes sense when you think about this move for them. If they did it, they would become even bigger favorites to win the West.

Patrick Kane would be a great fit for this version of the Colorado Avalanche.

When we last speculated what a trade package between these two teams would look like, there was no credible rumor to it. It was mostly just for fun. However, now that we know that the Avalanche are interested, it is something to think about. If the Hawks were to trade Kane to Colorado, it might look something like this:

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3 insane Patrick Kane trade packages with Colorado AvalancheVincent Pariseon March 5, 2022 at 1:00 pm Read More »

Chicago Blackhawks looking to keep the Philadelphia Flyers downVincent Pariseon March 5, 2022 at 12:00 pm

The Chicago Blackhawks had a tremendous win on Thursday night. Alex DeBrincat sealed the deal with a power-play goal in overtime against the Edmonton Oilers. It was a night where the Hawks honored both Duncan Keith and Niklas Hjalmarsson so you know it was special.

Coming off this special night, the Hawks have a day game on Saturday against the Philadelphia Flyers. Philly is in last place of the Metropolitan Division with a record of 16-28-10 for 42 points. Things have been awful for them.

The Flyers have dealt with multiple extremely long-losing streaks this season and it has led to their demise. There are naturally rumors about star players being shipped out of town and changes being made elsewhere.

This is a chance for Chicago to play very well for the second game in a row. With how good Patrick Kane, Alex DeBrincat, and Dylan Strome have been lately, there are a lot of reasons to think that they can pull this off.

The Chicago Blackhawks need to beat the lowly Philadelphia Flyers on Saturday.

One of the only issues with the game is the timing of it. It is a day game (2 pm Central start) but that is not the issue. The problem is that they have this game on Saturday and then a night game against the Tampa Bay Lightning on Sunday.

Marc-Andre Fleury started in the net on Thursday but he will likely be saved for Sunday simply because of the fact that the Lightning are a significantly better team. They need their star to go in a game like that instead of the game against the lowly Flyers.

As a result, Kevin Lankinen should be the guy against the Flyers. He wasn’t very good against the New Jersey Devils last Friday but he won anyway thanks to an offensive outburst by his team. This game against Philly is a great way for him to get some confidence going into the rest of the season.

The Hawks aren’t going to even come close to the postseason but they can learn a lot before the regular season is over. With Kyle Davidson as the new full-time General Manager, there is a chance for him to see what he has on this roster as he looks to rebuild it. Hopefully, the team is able to have a good showing against a much weaker team.

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Chicago Blackhawks looking to keep the Philadelphia Flyers downVincent Pariseon March 5, 2022 at 12:00 pm Read More »

5 Places to Learn About Irish Heritage in ChicagoAmanda Schellingon March 3, 2022 at 3:20 pm

Chicago’s March is the season of festivity, with St. Patrick’s Day being one of the biggest celebrations across the city. After all, the Irish roots run deep in Chicago! So, why not make your St. Patrick’s celebration a culture tour? We guarantee a full day of Irish heritage exploration in Chicago would work up a good appetite for you to enjoy this year’s St. Patrick’s Day specials! Plus, if you’re planning on watching the river dyeing or having at least one green beer, aren’t you curious about why we celebrate?

4626 N Knox Ave, Chicago, IL 60630

The Irish-American Heritage Center holds a mission to deepen the bonds of Irish and Irish-Americans to Ireland. Therefore, this is the perfect place to learn all about Irish heritage in Chicago. Here, you’ll find various events from Irish art history seminars to Irish movie screenings providing an authentic culture experience. It is also the home of a museum opened by Irish President Mary Robinson herself.

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This year on March 12th, the Irish-American Heritage Center will host its annual St. Patrick’s Day festival from 1:00 PM all the way to 11:30 PM! So, if you’re looking for something to do after river dyeing, head over there for Irish music, food, dancing, and fun family activities.

3758 S Union Ave, Chicago, IL 60609

Located in Bridgeport, Shinnick’s Pub is more than a century old! This is the perfect place for those looking to experience the Irish family culture firsthand as it has been passed down through generations in the Shinnick family since 1938. Here, you can immerse yourself in the true Irish-Chicago vibe, and chat with the owners and staff like childhood neighbors while admiring the Brunswick-style bar. Many Chicagoans love coming here after watching the river turn green for a good pint and some hearty conversations.

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700 W Adams St, Chicago, IL 60661

Old St. Patrick’s Catholic Church is a wealth of knowledge about Irish heritage in Chicago. Found by Irish immigrants in 1846, this was the first English-speaking church in the city. If you love architecture, you’ll have a blast in the church as light dances through the stained-glass windows, inspired by the Celtic art exhibit at the 1893 World’s Fair.

The Church prides itself as the Chicago-Irish community’s cornerstone and diligently upholds and promotes Irish culture throughout the neighborhood. On March 12th, Old St. Patrick’s Catholic Church will host “Shamrock’n the Block” — a unique celebration featuring a beer garden, heated tents, Irish dancing, bagpipes, and more activities.

6119 W. 147th Street, Oak Forest, IL 60452

Located a wee bit (see what I did there?) Southwest of the city, you’ll find Chicago Gaelic Park. As one of Chicagoan’s favorite event and weeding venues, Chicago Gaelic Park is also passionate about upholding Irish culture and traditions. Inside the tranquil park grounds, you’ll find landmarks such as the Famine Memorial, shedding light on the hardship conquered and the unyielding spirits of Irish immigrants in Chicago.

Each year, Chicago Gaelic Park hosts “Ireland on Parade”, a 10-day event showcasing traditional Irish music and dance. You’ll also find other special events following the Irish tradition, such as Heritage & Harvest Day and their bi-annual theater productions. Need somewhere to relax? Let’s enjoy a pint of Guinness at the Carraig Pub.

What are the first things (other than beer!) that you think of when it comes to Irish culture? Bagpipers and Irish dancers, right? For one, the perfect movements, stunning costumes, and story-telling abilities of Irish dancers would surely grab your attention. But the meaningful history behind Irish dance is what made it the modern spectacle today. 

Predating Christianity in Ireland, dancing was a deeply rooted part of Irish religious culture and has transformed throughout modern history to something that connects present-day celebrations to a meaningful past. Check out their scheduled performances and make reservations on their website. Hey, you may even try your skills at one of their auditions!

Featured Image Credit: Old St. Patrick’s Catholic Church

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5 Places to Learn About Irish Heritage in ChicagoAmanda Schellingon March 3, 2022 at 3:20 pm Read More »

Bulls’ Jones: Flagrant 1 on Allen wasn’t revengeon March 5, 2022 at 6:16 am

CHICAGO — Fans at United Center may have reveled in Bulls forward Derrick Jones Jr.’s flagrant foul on Milwaukee Bucks guard Grayson Allen on Friday night, but Jones insisted afterward that the foul was not intentional and denied being a dirty player.

Jones was given a flagrant foul 1 in the fourth quarter after delivering a hip check while trying to defend Allen on a drive to the basket and hitting Allen in the face with his elbow.

Jones said he was simply trying to “get a stop.”

“That’s all that goes through my head,” Jones said after the game. “I’m not a dirty player. Honestly, I talked to every ref that was there today. I didn’t think that was a flagrant. They said I hit him in his head. I didn’t even feel it. I just felt him bump my hip and fall. That’s all I felt.”

Allen had been the object of ire for Chicago fans all evening and was serenaded by boos from the sold-out crowd of 21,259 every time he touched the ball.

On Jan. 21, the last time the Bulls and Bucks matched up against each other, Allen committed a flagrant foul 2 on Bulls guard Alex Caruso, which resulted in Caruso suffering a fractured right wrist. Caruso has not played since.

It was the first time Allen had been called for a flagrant foul this season, and only the second time in his NBA career. Yet, he was suspended by the NBA for one game for the foul, which prompted the Bucks to release a statement defending Allen and disagreeing with the suspension.

On Thursday night, Bulls coach Billy Donovan insisted his team had left Allen’s flagrant foul in the past, telling reporters, “We’re not getting back what happened.”

However, Bulls center Tristan Thompson, who was a member of the Sacramento Kings when the incident occurred, said the Bulls were prepared to play “chippy” in Friday’s rematch.

“Take one of my dogs out like that, we’re gonna have issues,” Thompson told reporters Thursday in Atlanta. “You gotta set the tone. That’s what Bulls basketball is all about, setting the tone. What he did affected one of our guys, and I don’t think anyone should forget about that.

“I think guys have [it] in the back of their head, and if guys want to play chippy, let’s play chippy.”

Bucks coach Mike Budenholzer didn’t offer much reaction when asked about Thompson’s remarks before Friday’s game, saying he had not seen them.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said. “Didn’t register with me. Nobody said anything to me.”

Aside from the reaction from the crowd, Friday’s game went along mostly without incident. Allen was jeered for 31 minutes and finished 2-of-6 from the field for seven points and four rebounds in Milwaukee’s 118-112 win. None of the Bucks players took issue afterward with Jones’ hard foul on Allen.

Jones maintained that he did not try to exact revenge for the play in January.

“I ain’t even tripping off that. It’s basketball,” Jones said. “I want to get a stop as much as they want to get a stop on the other end. What happened in Milwaukee, we didn’t like it. It’s obvious we didn’t like it. Nobody liked that. But I mean I’m not going to go out there and just try to take a man out.

“That’s not who I am. If I get a foul in the process of trying to get a stop, then so be it. But I ain’t [gonna] blatantly take that man out. He got a family to take care of. Why would I do that?”

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Bulls’ Jones: Flagrant 1 on Allen wasn’t revengeon March 5, 2022 at 6:16 am Read More »

3 Ways You Can Spring Clean Your Business & Personal Finances With Tech

3 Ways You Can Spring Clean Your Business & Personal Finances With Tech

Spring is just around the corner, and you know what that means… Spring cleaning! We all know how to sort a dusty house– just Swiffer that mess and you’re done. But what happens when your business and personal finances are looking a little less than pristine?

The past couple of years have seen a rise in layoffs, debt, and inflation that leave you feeling like you’re running on a hamster wheel, just trying to make the minimum payments while your debt balloons.

Unfortunately, there’s no Swiffer for a financial mess. Instead I shared, on NBC 5 Chicago, three finance tech businesses that will help you regain financial control and build your business. Get off the hamster wheel and take advantage of these services that will leave your business and personal finances looking great, while you save hundreds– if not thousands– as you clean it up. 

SAGEWELL FINANCIAL

Sagewell is on a mission to build a financial platform for retirement so that older adults can spend less time worrying about financial security and more time enjoying their golden years. At Sagewell, they align their incentives to those of seniors to ensure our company is always benefiting their customers.

Unlike legacy financial service providers who spend on bank branches in big cities, Sagewell is using technology to make the cost of operating cheaper so that they can provide retirement-focused features and savings. These include a build-your-own retirement paycheck, free checking, and a personal relationship with a Sagewell Retirement Success Advocate to guide you through the most important financial decisions for retirement. From determining how much money you need each paycheck to purchasing the right insurance, they’re focused on making older adults feel confident about their money.

TALLY

Tally is a popular credit card debit pay-off app making tackling and paying off your credit debt easier and faster. How it works: Download the app, and securely add your credit cards. They’ll do a credit check, which won’t impact your score, to see if you’re eligible for their low-interest line of credit. Typically, a 580 FICO score is needed.

If eligible, they’ll offer you a low-interest line of credit — customized to save you as much money as possible. Just like wholesale retailers (think: Costco), they find the low rates and pass the savings to you. Tally also saves you money on interest and late fees. The app is available on iPhone and Android.

These are a few options that I think are great to help you reach your goals this year. Comment below and let me know what are some useful apps or ways that you’ve been maintaining your resolutions.

TRUiC

Now might actually be a great time to finally start your own business, and If you’re looking to start a business a company called TRUiC can help you for free. TRUiC stands for “The Really Useful Information Company.” The company was created to help businesses achieve and maintain their dreams at no charge! They have been doing so through websites, a YouTube channel, and will be launching a channel on ROKU TV, and working on content for Amazon Prime Video.

We are essentially becoming a [free resource] marketplace for people starting a business. We have all the free guides, legal templates, and links to the resources people need to be successful entrepreneurs,” says TRUiC CEO Nagabhushanam “Bobby” Peddi.

Their website provides free step-by-step guides and tools to help get your business up and running. TRUiC has information on how to start an LLC, startup advice, a free business idea generator and a free business plan generator, and Entrepreneurship Quiz, and more. Their free logo maker helps you come up with your brand in seconds, no design experience needed!

They also provide one of the most advance AI Business Name Generators completely free! Not only does it generate a business name but it can generate a name for your brand or company as well. Their Business Name Generator creates brandable and SEO optimized names with a .com domain.

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Kyle Davidson already making first Blackhawks changesVincent Pariseon March 4, 2022 at 9:04 pm

Kyle Davidson hasn’t even been the full-time Chicago Blackhawks General Manager for a week and he is already making major changes. He obviously has some big player decisions to make over the coming weeks leading into the trade deadline but he made some front office moves first.

They let go of VP of amateur scouting Mark Kelley and Assistant GM Ryan Stewart on Friday. Both of these two were with the team for 15 years and a part of three Stanley Cup Championship teams. It was an outstanding tenure for them but there was a big need for change.

Everything and everyone old with this management team should be let go because it is time for a fresh direction. We are seeing it more and more with this team every day. Kelley and Stewart going is notable news but it is time to move on.

Davidson clearly has a plan with this team. He knows that they need to rebuild the team both on and off the ice. He made his intentions clear when he was introduced as the new full-time General Manager earlier this week.

CHI beginning to make changes under new GM Kyle Davidson. VP of amateur scouting Mark Kelley and Assistant GM Ryan Stewart were let go today. Both were with the organization for 15 years, part of three Stanley Cups.

— Elliotte Friedman (@FriedgeHNIC) March 4, 2022

Kyle Davidson needs to rebuild the Chicago Blackhawks from top to bottom.

Davidson had previously been the interim GM of the team but he didn’t make any changes during that time. Now that he has full control of the hockey operations, he is going to make the moves that he feels necessary.

It is unclear whether or not this will be his last front office move. He is going to be replacing these guys soon enough. The big story going forward will be regarding the moves he makes involving players. There are a lot of trade chips on the roster right now that should be able to net them some valuable assets.

Rebuilding this team is the right move. It starts at the top of the organization down to the last player on the roster. They haven’t won a playoff series since winning the Stanley Cup in 2015 so some big changes need to come.

If Davidson can acquire the right prospects, draft picks, and NHL-ready players, this thing can get turned around. They don’t only want to win but they also want to have sustained success. With a move like this, Davidson clearly has a plan to make that happen.

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Kyle Davidson already making first Blackhawks changesVincent Pariseon March 4, 2022 at 9:04 pm Read More »

Wolfpoint Chicago: The Local Watch Brand That Encapsulates the Soul of Its CityBrian Lendinoon March 4, 2022 at 7:32 pm

The late Anthony Bourdain once described Chicago as the only true metropolis left in the world [outside of his native New York]. Bourdain loved Chicago, for good reason. In his 2016 trip to our wonderful city for Parts Unknown, he narrated in his opening monologue: “Chicago is a town, a city that doesn’t ever have to measure itself against any other city. Other places have to measure themselves against it. It’s big, it’s outgoing, it’s tough, it’s opinionated, and everybody’s got a story.” 

This is Wolfpoint Chicago’s story.

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Wolfpoint is the boutique Chicago-based watch brand built for the modern Chicagoan. The brand’s mission from the beginning was to create a quality watch that captures the rich history and style of its founding city. Like the hands on an immaculately crafted Wolfpoint watch, the modern Chicagoan moves inch by inch, more determined to make their mark on this city. It’s a place that has always understood that less is more and Wolfpoint embodies that in spades. 

It’s apparent in every detail. From the iconic color blue on the face on the popular Fort Dearborn style to the crescent moon designed into the face of their mega-popular Chicago Moon, paying homage to the famous Cloud Gate (otherwise known colloquially as The Bean) in Millenium Park. The founder of Wolfpoint takes great pride in the little details, down to the Wolfpoint logo, which mimics the three branches of the Chicago River that meet just off the Merchandise Mart and is etched into each piece. It’s as iconic as the Chicago flag itself—as it waves proudly boasting the three white bands that stand for the north, west and south sides of the city, while the blue stripes are symbolic of the city’s important bodies of water. The top blue band represents Lake Michigan and the north branch of the Chicago River. Representing Chicago is less of an anecdote as it is a personality trait and that pride radiates in everything Wolfpoint does. 

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Wolfpoint Chicago’s Iconic Chicago Moon

The company’s website highlights the significance of Wolf Point to the history of Chicago. The first school was constructed there. As was the first bar, church, and other various commercial buildings integral to growth in Chicago’s early stages. And now, proudly, is also where the first Chicago watch was built.

Whether you’re walking from Union Station throughout the Loop during rush hour, taking the Red Line north towards Wrigley Field, or enjoying a lovely weekend afternoon in Union Park, you need Wolfpoint. It’s your guide. Because when you wear a Wolfpoint watch you’re saying something you simply cannot with any other timepiece. You’re saying I’m from Chicago and I’m proudly here to change the game.

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Because for Chicago’s young professional, moving throughout the chaotic work week is daunting enough. The comfort and confidence a quality timepiece can provide is simply indescribable. So, whether you branch North towards Goose Island, South towards Chinatown, or East toward Lake Michigan, do so with Wolfpoint embracing your wrist.

I’ve been in this city for 31 years now. In fact, I share a birthday with Chicago. My family has been rooted here for more than a century. I take great pride in the people, profession, and product this city has a produced around me for three decades. Celebrate the city you call home by flashing a quality-crafted, minimalist, watch that supports local to boot.

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After all, there’s no rule that says the City of Big Shoulders can’t also be the City of Pristine Wrists.

Wolfpoint Chicago’s Fort Dearborn at Wrigley Field

Learn more about Wolfpoint Chicago by heading to their website and discovering which piece of Chicago you want to wear on your wrist.

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Editor’s Note: Stay tuned throughout the month of March for a special giveaway on UrbanMatter Chicago! We’ve teamed up with Wolfpoint Co. to give one lucky Chicagoan a beautiful Chicago Moon time piece and two (2) tickets to a future Chicago Cubs game at Wrigley Field! Details to come, but it’s better to be safe than sorry so head to Instagram right now and follow both UM Chicago & Wolfpoint Watches to ensure you don’t miss out on the Chicago crossover event of the century!  

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Wolfpoint Chicago: The Local Watch Brand That Encapsulates the Soul of Its CityBrian Lendinoon March 4, 2022 at 7:32 pm Read More »

3 reasons the Chicago Bears should be all in on Amari CooperVincent Pariseon March 4, 2022 at 7:33 pm

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Chicago Bears (Photo by Stacy Revere/Getty Images)

The Chicago Bears are in transition now. They fired both Matt Nagy and Ryan Pace as they try to turn their franchise into a winning one. Ryan Poles is the new GM and Matt Eberflus is the new head coach. They are in charge of helping the organization reach that goal.

In order to reach that goal, they need to advance the offense. They have had a very hard time scoring points in recent years which has led to them losing more than they have won. There are plenty of moves in which they can make that will help them get better.

One move they can make is adding Amari Cooper. According to Adam Schefter of ESPN, the Cowboys are likely to cut him so that they don’t have to pay him the money that he would be owed if he reaches a certain date on the roster.

It is an odd move for a Cowboys team that is good enough to be in the playoffs but needs to get over the hump. Taking him away is going to make their offense worse as he has been an outstanding receiver in his NFL career.

Cowboys are “likely” to release WR Amari Copper by the start of the new league year, per league sources.

Cooper is due $20 million in fully guaranteed money on the fifth day of the new league year, March 20.

— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) March 4, 2022

The Chicago Bears are a team that needs as many weapons as they can get.

If this actually comes to fruition, the Bears should jump on the opportunity. There are a lot of things that he would do for this team in getting them going in the right direction. A lot of people would be made better by his presence in the clubhouse.

These are the three biggest reasons that the Bears should be all in on Amari Cooper once he is actually released by the Dallas Cowboys:

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3 reasons the Chicago Bears should be all in on Amari CooperVincent Pariseon March 4, 2022 at 7:33 pm Read More »

Dark Ages and Rennaissance

Dark Ages and Rennaissance

He was falling, a lot. Just before Valentine’s Day he fell while tucking the children into bed. His head went through our daughter’s wall, and I went running to his aid. Once he was sitting upright and we had taken stock, knew that he was okay, she burst into tears.

“It’s my fault Daddy fell!” she wailed. “If I had cleaned my room he wouldn’t have tripped, it’s my fault, it’s my fault…”

The second fall was two weeks later, at my friend and her daughter’s funeral. He fell getting into his seat, and was caught by a few fast acting mourners, who helped him back up.

And then we went to the opera and ran into his social worker, and his social worker’s partner. It was the only time Mike ever took me to the opera. I wanted to enjoy it, but I couldn’t. My friend was dead, and I could see the writing on the wall.

The news was filling up with stories about this mystery virus in Wuhan, the word “pandemic” becoming commonplace. By the time of his MRI, I remember being bloated and anxious and sad, recovering from surgery and somehow already resigned. Somehow already braced.

The tumor, grown back. More surgery. And I knew. I knew it in my bones. I felt it in my teeth. I felt it in fingernails. And I told myself it was my fault.

If I’d only been more positive, since the surgery in August. If I’d only made more of an effort to keep his spirits up. If I’d only eased more of his burdens, he wouldn’t have fallen. He wouldn’t have gotten sicker. The pain in his working hand would have eased, he would have been happy.

It was my fault he wasn’t happy.

When children are small, it is easy to hold them as they cry. They cry about simple things. Pain. Frustration. Exhaustion.

In truth, that is still what we cry about, but they are not the same.

In 2020, I learned how to hold a child nearly as large as me as she sobbed because her father was dying. I learned to hold a child old enough to blame herself for not doing her chores, because she connected that common lapse with the consequence of her father’s illness. I learned to hold a child who is silent, who cannot process the weight of that grief. I learned to hold space for her silence.

None of us are the same.

The child who sobbed in bed while I held her makes nests in which to sleep, anxious and weary but also angry. I try not to feed her anger, or her anxiety, but of course I do. I’m her mother. I keep her in the world. The world is often cruel. I tell her we must be aware of her anxiety, and make sure we’re doing what we can to help her live with it, and around it, and through it. But I also tell her we cannot plan to dismiss it. I tell her it may be with her forever, and that it’s okay, because we learn and we get better. She cries, of course she cries, but she knows that when I say these things I am being honest, and she needs that. She believes hard reality is preferable to comfortable lies. I tell her she must find a way to sleep like a person, not a mouse, because she has a person brain and person body that needs person sleep. She cries, but she understands, and I cry with her.

The child who blamed herself for her irresponsibility wakes up at dawn and fixes lunches for the other children. She gets fabulous grades. She volunteers to bring in the trash cans on garbage day, she finishes her tasks with minimal oversight, she takes initiative to solve problems before they become insurmountable. She has become the deputy adult, and she excels. She is almost never late for her zoom and phone appointments. She responds to my texts and calls when I’m frazzled and disorganized and she shepherds her sisters into their activities. She wants me to be okay, she says. I tell her this is not her job, but find myself relying on her more than I would like. She beams with pride, and it breaks my heart.

The silent child still holds her feelings close, cautious. She does not volunteer them, but they burst out of her in ways she cannot control. She sobs uncontrollably about small inconveniences, disruptions to the routines that make her comfortable. She hesitates to express affection verbally, but hugs without restraint. She finds herself sleepless and anxious, and making bad decisions because in the late hours when she is unsettled, they feel like the only decisions. She is afraid. She is afraid of spiders, ants, shadows, injury. But she is also afraid to talk about the fear underneath them. Instead she clowns. She draws. She takes pride in the cat’s affection. Her enthusiasm for life is infectious. She is happy, until she cannot ignore the unhappiness any longer. And then she cries, silently, without the words to explain.

And me.

Once the woman who did it all, did everything, simultaneously. Once the woman who ran two girl scout troops and Mike’s medical care and the household and freelancing and speaking and a complex social life. My mantra now is, “triage.” One thing at a time. One crisis at a time. One decision at a time. Not because I am incapable of multitasking, also this does come harder, but because the crises are somehow huger than they were when Mike was alive. You would think everything would feel small now, but no. Now the playing field is leveled between crises. And my support structure is different.

Do I deal with the car or the bank? The middle school or the elementary school? The kids’ dental appointments or my cardiologist? Today will I spend half my day dealing with my lemon minivan or will it be a school district that can’t provide an education for my daughter? Will it be refinancing my mortgage or restructuring my will?

I used to have a productivity journal to keep me from overcommitting. Now I remember the lessons of that system, “Only five tasks a day,” and ask myself, “Can I even DO five tasks a day?” And no, I can’t. I can’t plan for however many hours the dealership will take, or the bank, or the school, and the waiting in between calls is it’s own task.

That’s something cancer taught me too well. Waiting is its own job.

The other night, I watched my partner fall down the basement stairs. They were fine, their socks slipped on the painted wood. It was not a major fall, but I panicked and I could not understand why.

It wasn’t just the fall. It was Mike’s cousin’s 40th birthday. It was the Foo Fighters releasing a movie. It was my boyfriend making the kinds of romantic gestures Mike thought of but never enacted. It was my anxious daughter coming to me for help with her math homework, and me calling in the deputy-parent daughter to help me help. It was my silent daughter, who is also the talkative daughter, telling my boyfriend, ” I love you,” and hugging him at bedtime.

It was my pseudo-step-daughter hugging me because I’d had a hard day. It was all four children cleaning the living room together, almost perfectly, while I was out. It was realizing I have nobody to make corned beef and cabbage for. It was standing in front of the school board and telling them my sister was dead, and my husband was dead, and my children needed more from them.

But that person from two years ago, the one who blamed herself for everything going wrong… she wasn’t there.

Whoever this person is, this person writing, this person who triages migraines versus chipped teeth, and transportation versus education, who is juggling the same pandemic as everyone else but the weight of so much loss, this mother no longer of three but of four…

None of this is her fault. She is doing the best that can possibly be done. She knows it, her kids know it, her partners know it.

She knows that when somebody falls it isn’t her fault. She knows the world does not run on her optimism. She knows that asking for help is not weakness, that accepting help is not failure, that giving only up to her ability is not selfishness.

She is so far from perfect. She is so, so far away. But she isn’t even trying to get there.

She’s just ready to triage, holding her kids when they cry, and letting the love of her children and partners and friends cushion her when she falls.

You can read more about the evolution of grieving here: On Grief and Vertigo

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LeaGrover

Lea Grover scribbles about sex-positive parenting, marriage after cancer, and vegetarian cooking. When she isn’t revising her upcoming memoir, she can be found singing opera, smeared to the elbow in pastels, or complaining/bragging about her children on twitter (@bcmgsupermommy) and facebook.

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Chicago Bears should be all-in on signing Amari Cooper once releasedRyan Heckmanon March 4, 2022 at 4:07 pm

This offseason, the Chicago Bears have to address the wide receiver position in a major way. Fortunately, some news just broke which could help their cause.

For the last three and a half seasons, Amari Cooper has racked up more than 3,000 receiving yards and 27 touchdowns with the Dallas Cowboys after being dealt by the Oakland Raiders.

Since joining Dallas, Cooper signed a 5-year contract extension worth $100 million. However, many believed that he would never play out the entirety of that deal.

Finally, the day has come where we see that rumor come to fruition. Per ESPN’s Adam Schefter, Cooper will be released by the Cowboys prior to the start of the new league year.

Cowboys are “likely” to release WR Amari Copper by the start of the new league year, per league sources.

Cooper is due $20 million in fully guaranteed money on the fifth day of the new league year, March 20.

— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) March 4, 2022

The Chicago Bears need to be all-in on signing Amari Cooper once he is released by the Dallas Cowboys.

When Cooper is cut loose, he will undoubtedly have a market. Davante Adams is the no. 1 prize in free agency for wide receiver-needy teams, but Cooper will immediately slot up there next to Chris Godwin as the second-best available.

New general manager Ryan Poles did recently say that he will be focused more on the second wave of free agency and try to be smart with his money. But, if a player like Cooper becomes available, it’s going to be difficult not to at least engage interest.

Cooper, after all, is the perfect type of wide receiver to add to this offense right now. Quarterback Justin Fields has his deep threat in Darnell Mooney, but Cooper gives him a guy who gets open and can make moves after the catch.

Cooper and Mooney would work very well off each other’s strengths, and give this offense two formidable wide receivers before the real free agency period even begins — and we haven’t even mentioned the 2022 NFL Draft.

The Bears only have five draft picks, and at least one of them will be used on a receiver at the moment. But, if Cooper comes to Chicago, then the Bears have much more flexibility with that second and third rounder.

Cooper is still just 27 years old and has been able to stay relatively healthy over the last several years, missing just a combined five games over his entire career. The word “consistency” comes to mind when talking about Cooper’s career.

Although there have been times, in the fantasy realm at least, where he’s “vanished,” Cooper’s availability is one of his best traits. He’s been able to suit up for the large majority of his career, and he’s exactly the type of receiver the Bears need right now.

Poles needs to be all-in on signing Cooper, addressing a major need before the bulk of the offseason kicks into gear.

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Chicago Bears should be all-in on signing Amari Cooper once releasedRyan Heckmanon March 4, 2022 at 4:07 pm Read More »