I’ve Got The Hippy Shakes
Your neighborhood’s crazy old man is now living in the White House
Think back to what are now the good old days. Back to when you were a kid. Remember the crazy old man on your street? Every block had one. He was the guy always yelling at the children to keep quiet. And when you did have a discussion with him, he would dominate the conversation. You would never be able to get a word in and when you tried, he’d constantly interrupt you.
The crazy old man on my block lived on the corner. His specialty was screaming when children ran onto his grass. Yes, he was that ‘keep of my lawn’ dude.
All the neighborhood kids knew about this. We were used to his ravings. My episode with the crazy old man occurred when I went to pick up a ball that landed on his lawn. I received his usual rant which was then followed by an antisemitic slur.
We didn’t see much of the crazy old man after that. He laid low and kept his mouth shut after my father has a visit with him. It must have been some visit. Plus, we moved out of the neighborhood soon afterward and that ended our relationship.
Lately, I’ve wondered what happened to that crazy guy? I went on a search. I finally found him. He moved to Washington D.C. He lives in a white home on Pennsylvania Avenue. Yes, that crazy old man is Donald Trump.
I can go back many years to find incidents that would confirm my theory, but why do that when you can look at how the last week went? Let’s start at the debate with former Vice-President Joe Biden. It was billed as a back and forth discussion of topics that were important to our country and its citizens. Yeah, right!! Trump interrupted both Biden and moderator Chris Wallace more than one hundred and fifty times in the ninety-minute debate. You read that right…ONE HUNDRED FIFTY TIMES!!!
That’s some kind of CRAZY OLD MAN behavior!!
Later in the week, rumors came out that Covid-19 had hit the White House. It started with his close aide Hope Hicks. From there it spread like a California wildfire. Most sane people would immediately quarantine themselves. Trump went to his Bedminster Golf Club for a fundraising event. He put the members of the club at risk. Who does something like that? Most of us would call that depraved, but there’s a fine line between depravity and being a CRAZY OLD MAN.
On Friday, word came out that Trump and his wife Melania had tested positive for Covid-19. By Friday afternoon, he wasn’t feeling so well and needed to head to the hospital. Most people don’t make a spectacle of themselves when they need to be admitted to a hospital. Donald Trump isn’t most people. He was dressed in his best suit and tie and then waved goodbye to whoever was watching while he entered the helicopter. Definitely the behavior of a CRAZY OLD MAN!!
On Saturday, he wanted to show the American public that he was feeling okay and was able to work while fighting the virus. He had a picture taken of him sitting behind a desk, pretending to write on a blank sheet of white paper. Who does this kind of thing? Only a CRAZY OLD MAN!
I know your thinking enough already! You’ve proved your point. That’s true, but there’s still more….much more. SIGH!!
Sunday, Don became a little antsy. That’s understandable. No one likes to be in a hospital. He decided it was time to escape. Donald Trump had the secret service take him on a ride. It makes perfect sense because when things are looking their worst, what do most people do….ROAD TRIP!! The problem is he was still contagious and risked the health of everyone he came into contact with, especially his secret service drivers.
Say it with me….CRAZY OLD MAN!!!
Monday, he pesters his doctors into letting him go home. They probably had enough of him so they agreed. The helicopter takes him to the White House. Don enters and heads up to the balcony. With the cameras on him, he rips off his mask and poses like a dictator. Of course, he’s still highly contagious and with his mask off he’s polluting the air with the virus and again risking the health of anyone who is near him.
Now is that the behavior of a psychopath or just a CRAZY OLD MAN!! Again, there’s that fine line.
Finally…and I promise this is the last one…we come to yesterday. While most normal folks were still asleep, he typed out eighteen nonsensical tweets. All of them were in capital letters. Later in the day, he announced that he wasn’t going to approve another Covid-19 stimulus bill until after he was reelected. That tanked the stock market. I guessed he changed his mind because he followed up with how he was ready to approve another $1,200 stimulus check and would also give money to the airlines. He finished up his day with a tweetstorm of forty-one tweets in a three hour period.
Bored or crazy? You can’t get any more CRAZY OLD MAN than that…well except for Monday or Sunday or etc, etc, etc. As bad as it to have this man living in the White House, it could be worse. He could be living in the corner house on your block. If you’re unlucky enough to have that happen to start in January, make sure you keep off his lawn.
Related Post: Donald Trump takes off his mask as more than 210,000 Americans have died
Type your email address in the box and click the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.
Filed under:
humor, News, Satire
Tags:
Donald Trump, Keep off my lawn
-
Advertisement:
-
Advertisement:
-
Welcome to ChicagoNow.
-
Meet The Blogger
Howard Moore
My so called friends think it’s time to edit this section. After four years, they may be right, but don’t tell them that. I’ll deny it until they die!
I can’t believe I’ve been writing this blog for four years.
It started as a health/wellness thing and over the years has morphed to include so many things that I don’t know how to describe it anymore.
I really thought this was going to be the final year of the blog but then Donald Trump came along. It looks like we’re good for four more years..God help us all!
Oh yeah…the biographical stuff. I’m not 60 anymore. The rest you can read about in the blog. -
Subscribe by Email
Completely spam free, opt out any time.
Tags
- Donald Trump (171)
- Parkinson”s Disease (50)
- Coronavirus (32)
- Chicago Cubs (31)
- Cancer (22)
- Paul McCartney (21)
- John Lennon (21)
- Melanoma (21)
- The Beatles (18)
- Neil Young (18)
Categories
- Music (304)
- Wellness (288)
- Health (220)
- News (216)
- Satire (168)
- humor (153)
- Uncategorized (152)
- Parkinsons (151)
- Pop Music (115)
- Sports (94)
Latest on ChicagoNow
-
Chicago Real Estate Market Update: September Home Sales Soar
from Getting Real by Gary Lucido
posted today at 1:49 pm -
Americans, be not afraid
from The Barbershop: Dennis Byrne, Proprietor by Dennis Byrne
posted today at 1:31 pm -
Rooting around for the root causes of violence
from The Barbershop: Dennis Byrne, Proprietor by Dennis Byrne
posted today at 1:00 pm -
Mayor Lightfoot is THINKING about cutting workers
from The Barbershop: Dennis Byrne, Proprietor by Dennis Byrne
posted today at 12:38 pm -
Michelle Obama, have you lost your mind?
from The Barbershop: Dennis Byrne, Proprietor by Dennis Byrne
posted today at 10:39 am
Posts from related blogs
-
Spiritual and Physical Wellness
Most recent post: Eat Right
-
Say What?
Most recent post: Can My Hearing Aid Be Repaired?
-
Cancer Is Not A Gift
Most recent post: Why I Walk in BCAN’s Annual Event
More from Lifestyle: Wellness
Read these ChicagoNow blogs
-
Cubs Den
-
Pets in need of homes
Pets available for adoption in the Chicago area -
The Barbershop: Dennis Byrne, Proprietor
Chicago writer, editor and author blogs about today’s political and public policy issues.
Read these ChicagoNow Bloggers
-
Teppi Jacobsen
from When You Put It That Way: -
Chris O’Brien
from Medium Rare: -
Barbara Revsine
from A Bite of Chicago:
- About ChicagoNow
- •
- FAQs
- •
- Advertise
- •
- Recent posts RSS
- •
- Privacy policy (Updated)
- •
- Comment policy
- •
- Terms of service
- •
- Chicago Tribune Archives
- •
- Chicago Internet Marketing Services
- •
- Do not sell my personal info
©2020 CTMG – A Chicago Tribune website –
Crafted by the News Apps team