What’s Wrong With These Doors?

What’s Wrong With These Doors?

“Beep, Beep.”

No, It is not the Roadrunner. It is the refrigerator is beeping at me. Once again I have left the freezer door open. Not even our upscale wood-paneled, state-of-the-art side-by-side refrigerator-freezer can keep things cool if I keep doing that.

Leaving doors open is a tendency of mine that has become frightfully frequent. And it does not stop with the Sub-Zero. I have bruised hips from kitchen drawers I only partially close and then bump into. I have suffered innumerable near concussions hitting my head against the cabinet door above my microscope, the one I perpetually leave half-open.

Of course, not all of my door-closing forgetfulness leads to bodily damage. This weekend I left the trunk lid open while shopping at our favorite Sunset Grocery Store. Sure, in the past I have left the gas cap cover open. Who hasn’t? But the whole trunk lid? A new low for me. Fortunately, no dishonest shoppers decided to borrow any of the fold-up camp chairs that were stored in the “boot.”

But I have to confess, all these dooritos have gotten me to start worrying. Is my inattentiveness to closing doors and drawers and trunk lids the start of a previously undescribed neurological disorder? Is it akin to one of those rare entities like prosopagnosia (the inability to make out details in faces,) or Capgras Syndrome (the belief that someone you know has been replaced by an imposter?) Will I soon mistake my wife for a hat? Does this condition have a name? Am I suffering from Doorignorsia?

Barb says not to worry. She says I have never been any good at closing things. Or at turning off lights when I leave the room. It’s all just part of my absent-minded-professor persona, just like the emails I send without the promised attachments or the black suit I forget to pick up from the dry cleaner in time for the important dinner. Details, details, details.

Just to be safe and in the interest of continuity, I had better end this blog before I lose track of where I started. And oh yeah, I’m going to try to remember to close the door when I go to the fridge for a snack.

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Hi! I am Les, a practicing pathologist living in the North Suburbs and commuting every day to the Western ones. I have lived my entire life in the Chicago area, and have a pretty good feel for the place, its attractions, culture, restaurants, and teams. My wife and I are empty-nesters with two adult children and four grandchildren.

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