Photo courtesy of Chicago Tribune

Satire

“I want to get for you what I got and I’m going to make it free. You’re not going to pay for it. ” With those words in yesterday’s Twitter video, President Donald Trump tacked a new direction as he at last revealed his health plan for America. 

Mitch McConnell, in a follow-up interview, confirmed the President’s announcement.

“Yes, we want to destroy ObamaCare, that hideous piece of legislation that those evil Democrats rammed through our throats during their illegal administration of the worst eight years of this great nation’s history. Obamacare is a mess, loaded with premium payments and pre-pays and copays and deductibles.

President Trump’s plan is simple and straightforward. You need healthcare? Go to your doctor and you will get it for free. Need drugs? Go to your pharmacy and get them for free.  Need an abortion? Go to Canada and rot in hell.”

When asked how the country could afford this plan, McConnell stated that Trump had been given a method direct from God. This was confirmed in last night’s Vice-Presidential Debate when VP Mike Pence interrupted Democratic nominee Kamala Harris to say “Our plan to pay for America’s wonderful healthcare is as clear as the fly on my hair which I believe is another message from God.”

When it was pointed out to Speaker McConnell that the plan sounded like a socialist-style European healthcare plan, McConnell objected, stating only the liberal fake-news industry would make that comparison. Sean Hannity also refuted the idea that this was universal healthcare, relaying that it was God’s desire and therefore a capitalist endeavor.

Alex Azar, Secretary of Health and Human Services did not return numerous telephone call requests for further information. An email request was returned with an “Out of the Office until November 4th” automatic response.

Chuck Schumer, Democratic Senator from New York, was overheard telling a staffer about Trump  “The guy is meshugh, what more can I say?”

Vote November 3rd.

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