Strategies to Overcome the SCOTUS Overturning
But first a disclaimer. I’m not exactly cocksure that any following strategy is legal, so check them out with your lawyer before you run off half-cocked executing them.
Oh, and another thing, You’ll have to take my word for it, but the moment the incipient SCOTUS abortion ruling was leaked, I seized onto the sinced-aired idea of establishing abortion clinics on Tribal land. Including in my proposal though was a plan to install slots in the waiting rooms, revenues split between Tribal school systems and an embryonic PAC aimed at influencing –with irresistible incentives– certain SCOTUS members into resigning their posts (one member–nameless here– with the added bonus of a lifetime supply of beer, brand or brands of his choice).
And now to begin.
In its recent assault-weapon spray of lunatic rulings, the Court may have tripped up by hitting two targets that, in a sense, declare war against each other. Or at least maybe just an invasion by contradiction. By snipping the constitutional barbed-wire fence separating government and religion, they’ve opened a frontier that could allow women the chance to govern the territories of their own bodies.
Already, The Jewish rabbinical establishment is challenging abortion prohibition is Florida, by filing suit against the DeSantis and his gang of hitmen, asserting that Talmudic law states that life begins at birth, hence abortion is accepted. Maybe not encouraged; I don’t know. But not banned.
That rabbinic initiative acts as the launch pad for the trajectories of one plot. Let’s begin by noting that an international Satanic religion, with over 500,000 members in the fold, is alive and well–even thriving– today at their Salem, Massachusetts headquarters.(Please don’t gasp a indignant breath.) The religion doesn’t actually recognize the existence of devils or even angels. Apparently, they simply get off on being impishly mischievous). How to use the Satanic church to thumb your nose to POTUS?
The pro-choice movement could consort to form a coalition devised to join the Satanic religion en masse. Every coalition member would advance a donation (from modest to substantial) to the church in exchange for a signed certificate conferring and confirming church membership to the donor. If a Satanic church edifice cannot be found anywhere near the new member’s domicile (a certainty, wink-wink) he or she may attend services via zoom or whatever electronic means is not inconvenient. Actually, as in generally prevailing de facto religious practice, regular church attendance is hardly mandatory. Finally, once the freshly bulging congregation is assembled and firmly formed, t with the urging of the new membership numbers, church can declare–as Florida Judaism has–that an abortion ban is against the religion. Or, maybe it already lays that claim?
Here’s the really shrewdly comforting part of the plot. The coalition membership can consist of the tens of millions in the pro-choice movement– Roman Catholic, Orthodox Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, pantheists, pagans, atheists, agnostics, and any splinter group within those belief systems. Maybe even–if enough bodies can be mustered–one of the 45 religions practiced in New Guinea rate inclusion. What’s more ( hush, here’s our secret), you don’t have to really abandon your religion. You can model yourselves after the Jewish conversos of middle-age Spain. pejoratively dubbed the Marranos, more kindly referred to as Crypto-Jews. They simply paid obeisance to the Inquisition by duplicitously declaring ” What’s that? Join the Catholic church? Where do I sign up?” Then they continued observing Judaism thoroughly, in the dark, furtive shadows of secrecy.
So check out the the tenets of the Satanic church. If it turns out that they allow abortion, you can even join individually to claim your exemption from the blinkered SCOTUS ruling.
Or–as an alternative to joining the Satanist church–there’s this. Charging up the power of the internet, assemble and sign-up multitudes of Pro-Choice flag-bearers to establish a new church that believes life begins at birth not at an arbitrary wild-guess. No brick-and-mortar sites that demand you attend in-person.. No high priest or priestesses to steadfastly obey. Just a web site to idly visit from time to time. With a massive congregation formed, you’d be loaded up for court abortion challenges. Why, you could even inaugurate schools that would theoretically be eligible for government funding and tax exemptions. notwithstanding policies that ordained the teaching of evolution rather than Genesis, heliocentric theory rather than flat-earth theory, astronomy rather than astrology, evidence rather than superstition, etc. You get the picture, don’t you? The school would be, after all, a perk-entitled Religious Institution , wouldn’t it?
Hey, maybe you yourself can dream up an alternative strategy or two to sidestep the inane, insane SCOTUS ruling. It’s clear that a blundering SCOTUS premise left a gaping portal for pro-choice proponents to breach. They conflated religion with bible-thumping, fundamental Christianity.
Message to the backward members of SCOTUS: It’s freedom of Religion, free from manacling by order of the state–rather than freedom of Christianity –free to disenfranchise all other belief systems. Including unwavering disbelief in the supernatural.
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