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Seven people were shot during a fight Monday night in Englewood on the South Side.

Gunfire broke out about 11:10 p.m. on the sidewalk in the 6800 block of South Justine Street, Chicago police said.

A woman was seriously wounded by gunfire, while six men were listed in fair or good condition. The victims were between 18 to 44 years old.

The woman, 39, was shot in her arm and abdomen and taken to the University of Chicago Medical Center in serious condition, police said.

A 21-year-old man was struck in the right foot and a 34-year-old man was grazed by a bullet on his right foot, police said. They were taken to Holy Cross Hospital in fair condition.

A 44-year-old man was struck in the right arm, and a 28-year-old man was struck in the torso, police said. They were taken to the University of Chicago Medical Center in fair condition.

An 18-year-old man was struck in the foot and arm, and taken to Christ Medical Center in fair condition, police said.

Another man, 31, took himself to Ignalls Memorial Hospital in Harvey, police said. He was shot in the leg and in good condition.

No arrest has been made, police said. Area One detectives were investigating.

Read more on crime, and track the city’s homicides.

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HICCUPS

The pro Michael Friedman, medical director for Chicago ENT and chairman of otolaryngology at Advocate Illinois Masonic Medical Center

The solution “Hiccups are caused when the diaphragm, the muscle that moves the lungs, is ‘short-circuited’ and discharges repeatedly. To reset it, you’ve got to change the breathing pattern, either by holding your breath or breathing into a paper bag. And if that doesn’t work? Try touching the back of your throat with a cotton swab.”

FRUIT FLIES

The pro Jerry Coyne, professor emeritus of ecology and evolution at the University of Chicago

The solution “Operation Kill the Flies is threefold: Take out the trash, check the fruit bowl for bad apples, and catch any pesky stragglers with a trap. To make one, toss a few pieces of mashed banana and a pinch of yeast into a Mason jar. Roll a piece of printer paper into a cone that fits snugly into the mouth of the jar — there should be no gaps along the rim. Set the trap on the counter and watch as the flies zoom in, have no idea how to get back out, and eventually meet their demise.” 

HANGOVERS

The pro Stephanie Mansour, celebrity health and fitness coach

The solution “First, do a simple yoga forward fold by hinging at the waist and allowing your head and neck to dangle down. Hold for 60 seconds, then slowly roll up. This massages the liver and kidneys to help detox the alcohol. Next, make a simple protein smoothie to help stabilize your blood sugar levels, which can be thrown off from overdrinking. Use your favorite protein powder, almond milk or water, a handful of berries, plus two handfuls of spinach, which is full of B vitamins.” 

ALLEY RATS

The pro Josie Cruz, deputy commissioner of Chicago’s Bureau of Rodent Control 

The solution “Rats are in the alleyway because there is a food source, not because they like the neighborhood. To keep them away, make sure your garbage is properly contained inside the cart, close the lid all the way, and report any damaged carts to 311.”

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Papa says, ‘The whole world is a garbage can,’ ” William, my 4-year-old son, tells me. My dad says that to him facetiously while teaching him not to litter. It’s working: We have to stop William from running to pick up castoff surgical masks we see on our weekly walks through the forest preserve, and he cries if we forget to let him throw out the container from his daily yogurt snack. Papa is proud, because to him littering is one of the most disrespectful things a person can do.

That’s because my dad was a garbage man in his central Illinois hometown for seven summers, starting after he graduated from high school in 1967 and continuing until he left for good to get his MFA in Virginia in 1974. Much of the job was what you’d expect: hard, gross, dangerous. But it paid well, so it was also coveted.

The best routes were in business districts filled with shops like liquor stores, which threw out little more than folded cardboard boxes. Clean, dry, a snap to lift — easy-peasy, as far as garbage goes. But commercial areas could go a bad way, too, if there was a chicken-forward restaurant that filled its dumpster with entrails or a veterinary office that loaded its cans with dead patients, no more dignified a burial than a grocery store discarding trays of expired meat. Unsurprisingly, one of the few rules of a job rife with unthinkably toxic splash back was: “Never open your mouth.” 

You could start to make up stories about the people who lived along the route, based on the contents of their garbage can: the lawyer who always threw out a bunch of empty liquor bottles, the housewife who always threw out a bunch of empty liquor bottles, and even then-senator Everett Dirksen, who threw out an unremarkable number of empty liquor bottles and nothing else of note. Senate minority leaders: They’re just like us!

One of the most frequently retold stories in our family lore is about the woman who trotted out a pile of fur coats for my dad to bring home. He and my mom were living in his parents’ attic, so an armload of free furs then seemed no less miraculous than the present-day vindication of Britney Spears. A few days later, they came home to find the windows of the house blackened with … something that moved. Inside, they discovered that ­thousands — ­thousands — of flies had hatched from the coats. That was the last time my dad ever brought anything home from work. 

Once he left for grad school, my dad never went back to the garbage truck. He got a job as a professor in the art department at a small college outside Cleveland, teaching ceramics. It would be tidy to say he never looked back, but it wouldn’t quite be true. As a full-time faculty member in 1976, he earned $10,000 a year — $4,000 less than he did hauling trash.

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Chicago Bears: Non-quarterbacks to aggressively trade up for by Ryan Heckman

For Chicago Bears fans, whenever, a quarterback becomes available, many wonder what it’d take for the Bears to acquire said quarterback.

After the moves the Bears made this offseason, specifically acquiring Andy Dalton, Chicago isn’t about to trade for Teddy Bridgewater.

Stop the Teddy Bridgewater to Chicago Bears talk.

As mentioned in the opening paragraph, Chicago has already made a move at quarterback this offseason. They signed veteran Andy Dalton to a one-year deal. With another veteran Nick Foles already on the roster, the Bears aren’t going to bring on another quarterback who’s career is merely being a stopgap quarterback at this point.

Last offseason, Bridgewater was a free agent and while the Bears did attempt to sign him in free agency, they came up short, with competition as a main reason. While Bridgewater once had a bright future in the NFL, since 2017, he’s bounced around quite a few teams, including the New Orleans Saints, Carolina Panthers, and New York Jets.

Here’s another reason to avoid trading for Bridgewater at all costs: His production in 2020 was far below average. In 15 starts, he has just 15 touchdowns and 11 interceptions, completing just 69.1 percent of his passes. Overall, throughout his career, he’s won just 26 games as a starter, putting him three games over .500.

With Chicago also in a tight salary cap situation, any trade involving Bridgewater would mean that the Bears need to find a way to fit Bridgewater’s massive contract on the books. After signing a three-year deal with $63 million dollars last offseason, his cap hit for 2021 will be a projected $22.95 million dollars. In other words, it’s too much for a player that’s merely been an average quarterback his entire career.

While Bridgewater did win five straight games as a starter in 2019, throughout his entire career, he’s mainly been classified as a player who has been carried by the team around him, not necessarily a player that has elevated a team and been the reason that franchises end up winning.

Next: Chicago Bears: Don’t believe Ryan Pace about the QB situation.

Chicago has already decided to go one route with a veteran quarterback in Dalton. While Bridgewater is younger option, it’s more likely that the Bears end up trading up for a quarterback in the 2021 NFL Draft simply because Bridgewater is by no means a long-term solution to the quarterback position at this point.

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Chicago White Sox: There is absolutely no reason to be worried by Vincent Parise

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Chicago Bears (Photo by Tim Warner/Getty Images)

The last time the Chicago Bears held a first-round pick, they opted to go on the defensive side of the ball.

Back in the 2018 Draft, the Bears snagged Roquan Smith at pick number eight overall in the first round. It was a year after they had moved up to get Mitchell Trubisky, therefore they had figured the quarterback position was settled at that point.

Fast forward three years, and now the Bears finally get to pick in the first round again. The past two years’ first rounders belonged to the Las Vegas Raiders from the Khalil Mack trade, but now the Bears are back in the opening round of the draft.

Quarterback is obviously all the rage, no matter what fan you ask. The quarterback position is far from solidified in Chicago, and that’s truly the only thing that matters right now. It’s hard to look past that position when Ryan Pace is attempting to fool us all into thinking Andy Dalton is the answer.

Don’t think the Chicago Bears will not move up for the best player available

Although we all want to see them trade up for a quarterback, the Bears may also move up for a different position altogether. There are some phenomenal talents in this year’s first round, and at pick number 20, the Bears may not have a shot at some of them.

We must remember: quarterback is not the only pressing need for this team. It’s still at the top of the list, but it doesn’t stand alone.

The Bears still have to look at adding a starter at a couple of other positions. If they opted to trade up for a player who happens to play something other than quarterback, the Bears may move up for one of the following guys.

Next: 1: Rashawn Slater

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A 39-year-old man was shot to death Monday in the 5400 block of West Flournoy Street.

A man was arrested after another man was shot to death early Tuesday in Austin on the West Side.

About 3:30 a.m., two men, 39 and 38, were drinking in a basement apartment in the 5400 block of West Flournoy Street when shots were fired, Chicago police said.

The 39-year-old was shot in the head and chest, and was pronounced dead at the scene, police said. The Cook County medical examiner’s office hasn’t released his name.

The other, 38, was placed into custody and a weapon was recovered, police said.

Area Four detectives are investigating.

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You’ll laugh — but cringe — at the crass behavior of the youth inhabited by fully grown Nasim Pedrad.

The thing about Chad is, he’s the worst. This 14-year-old might tell himself he has the best of intentions and in fact he does have a sweet side that bubbles to the surface on rare occasions, but consider just a few anecdotes from the life of Chad:

• When Chad’s braces are removed after seven long years, he tells his orthodontist, “Doctor Tony … I don’t know who encouraged you into this damn field, but you’re a terrible orthodontist.”

• After learning his divorced mother has begun dating a Muslim man named Ikrimah, Chad freaks out. His mother says, “You do realize technically WE’RE Muslim?” Chad replies, “Yeah, we’re Muslim enough, we don’t need people thinking that’s like our whole thing!”
• When Chad’s little sister gives him a hard time, he says, “Nikki, no offense, but you are a whore.” (Mom: “Chad!” Chad: “I said no offense! God!”)
• When Chad sees his friend Denise, he asks, “You still have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome?” Denise says, “It’s CHRONIC, so yeah,” to which Chad replies: “That sucks so hard. If it makes you feel better, there are a lot of people who say it’s not even real.”

On Chad’s first day of school, he manages to insult and offend a number of new classmates before the start of first period and later spins wild tales about having had sex over the summer in order to impress the cool kids. That evening, when Chad meets Ikrimah the new boyfriend, he has a total change of heart about the man being Muslim because he’s Black. Chad asks Ikrimah to drive him to school the next morning and cranks up the music as they pull up, in a blatant effort to demonstrate his “cred” or some such thing.

Jeez. Come on, Chad.

This is the setup for the new TBS series “Chad,” a cringe-inducing comedy in the vein of “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” only instead of Larry David playing a fictionalized and misanthropic version of himself, 39-year-old “Saturday Night Live” alum Nasim Pedrad is playing Ferydoon “Chad” Amani, a teenage boy. Though the hair and makeup are impressive and Pedrad delivers a razor-edged, all-in performance, we never quite buy her as late-blooming and socially uncomfortable adolescent — but the writing is so crisp and funny and the situations in this sitcom so ridiculously hilarious, we can suspend our disbelief and go with it. (That Chad himself is in such an awkward phase helps Pedrad sell the performance under the oversized polo shirts and baggy jeans.)

As Chad gets into one excruciatingly humiliating situation after another, often because of his offensive takes on race and society, I was actually reminded of Michael Scott on “The Office.” If we saw a “Young Michael” type show about his teenage years, it probably wouldn’t be all that different from “Chad.”

Every episode made me laugh out loud more than once. Every episode also made me want to look away out of horror for what Chad had wrought upon himself.

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Seven men were shot after a fight Monday in the 6800 block of South Justine Street.

Two people were killed and 14 others wounded in shootings Monday across Chicago, including seven men who were shot after a fight in Englewood on the South Side.

About 11:10 p.m., they got into a fight on the sidewalk in the 6800 block of South Justine Street, when shots were fired, Chicago police said.

A 21-year-old man was struck in the right foot and a 34-year-old man was grazed by a bullet on his right foot, police said. They were both taken to Holy Cross Hospital in fair condition.

A 44-year-old man was struck in the right arm, a 39-year-old man was struck in the left arm and abdomen, and a 28-year-old man was struck in the torso, police said. They were all taken to the University of Chicago Medical Center, where the 44-year-old and the 28-year-old are in fair condition, and the 39-year-old is in serious condition.

An 18-year-old man was struck in the left foot, left arm, and taken to Christ Medical Center in fair condition, police said.

Another man, 31, self-transported to Ignalls Memorial Hospital in Harvey, police said. He was shot in the leg and was in good condition.

In the day’s first reported deadly attack, a man was shot to death in West Pullman on the Far South Side.

Two people fired shots at the 21-year-old about 3:50 p.m. as he ran south in the 12000 block of South Lowe Avenue, Chicago police said. The man was struck multiple times in the body and taken to Christ Medical Center in Oak Lawn.

The Cook County medical examiner’s office said the man died at the hospital less than an hour after he was shot. His identity has not been made public.

Also, Monday, two men were shot, one fatally, on the South Side, police said.

They were sitting in a parked vehicle about 10:30 p.m. in the 1500 block of West Garfield Boulevard when someone opened fire, Chicago police said.

One man, 35, was shot in the chest and taken to Holy Cross Hospital, where he was pronounced dead, police said. The other man, 38, was taken to the University of Chicago Medical Center in fair condition with a gunshot wound to the ankle.

The Cook County medical examiner’s office hasn’t released details on the fatality.

In nonfatal attacks, a 15-year-old boy was wounded in a shooting early Monday on the Near West Side.

The boy was taking out the trash about 5:30 a.m. in the 1300 block of West Washburne Avenue when he heard a gunshot and felt pain, Chicago police said.

He ran inside him home and was taken to Rush University Medical Center with a gunshot wound to his lower back, police said. He was later transferred in good condition to Stroger hospital.

The boy told police officers he didn’t see anyone or any vehicles in the area, police said.

Two men were shot Monday evening in West Englewood on the South Side.

The men, both 20, were standing outside about 6 p.m. in the 6100 block of South Marshfield Avenue when multiple people walked up and opened fire at them, Chicago police said.

One man was struck in the chest, while the other was struck in the leg and abdomen, police said. Both were stabilized at the University of Chicago Medical Center.

At least three other people were hurt Monday in citywide shootings.

Thirty-four people were shot, eight fatally, last weekend in Chicago.

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