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High school football: Kenwood vs. Morgan Park game ends with 18-20 players ejected after large post-game fight

One of Kenwood’s key players lost control of his emotions in the fourth quarter of Saturday’s game against Morgan Park at Lane Stadium.

He was overwhelmed by the pressure, by his team’s failure in a crucial moment and it all became too much. There were tears and screams and he was emotionally unable to continue playing.

That same anger and frustration boiled up in dozens of players on both teams at the final whistle. Multiple fights broke out all over the field as Chicago Public Schools security and coaches and administrators from both schools struggled to calm things down.

The chaotic scene lasted about ten minutes. According to Morgan Park coach Chris James approximately 18-20 players total from both teams were ejected during the course of the game and due to the post-game fight. James said he expects CPS to “levy some heavy suspensions.”

Morgan Park beat Kenwood 22-13. Both teams are loaded with college prospects and just outside the Super 25 rankings. Multiple media outlets were at Lane Stadium to cover one of the best Public League matchups of the season.

But the game was ugly from the start. The first quarter was marred by multiple unsportsmanlike penalties and it deteriorated from there.

A Morgan Park player punched a Kenwood player (in the helmet) after a play with 8:37 remaining. That set things off. An adult that wasn’t a member of the coaching staff ran onto the field and was removed by security.

There was a long delay while CPS Sports Director David Rosengard and the officials discussed how to handle the situation and if the game should continue. They decided on multiple penalties, some ejections and no post-game handshake line. The game carried on, despite the heavily-charged atmosphere.

“We have a lot of people here,” Rosengard said. “We have extra security, administrators from both sides. We have athletic directors. We talked to the officials and coaches multiple times. The coaches respect each other. The referees said let’s finish the game out. We gave them a minute to talk to each team. There are no right and wrong answers.”

James said tensions were extra high between the teams because one of Morgan Park’s top players transferred to Kenwood.

“The kids were chattering back and forth,” James said. “It’s a culmination of kids getting amped up from social media and playing football at a high intensity level and then emotions boil over and there’s a team that is going to win and a team that is going to lose.”

Tysean Griffin, Morgan Park’s star running back, may have understood what was happening better than the adults.

“I knew there was going to be some drama but I didn’t know it would be that much,” Griffin said. “That was on something else.

“They should have kept the game going but the players that were ejected should have been made to leave. Into the stands or something. There was an ejected player sitting [on the Kenwood sideline] that put his helmet on after the game and rushed our sideline. They all should have been kicked out.”

Coaches, officials and CPS administrators meet midfield to discuss the altercations during the game between Morgan Park and Kenwood.

Kirsten Stickney/For the Sun-Times

Morgan Park and Kenwood are South Side schools. This game would usually take place at Gately Stadium but was at Lane Stadium on the North Side instead. It’s the second year the game has been moved.

“Safety is part of why it was here,” Rosengard said. “Because of violence around different parts of the city. It was requested awhile ago. There are a number of factors.”

Moving the game to the North Side makes sense. It worked well last season. The teams deserve a chance to play a high-intensity game in a safe atmosphere.

But when that atmosphere is no longer safe, the game no longer matters. The final eight minutes of a high school football game aren’t worth jeopardizing the safety of a single person. It’s fortunate that no one was seriously injured in the fracas after the game.

“I don’t want to place any blame,” James said. “It’s hard for me to say what should have happened since I was coaching. I would have to see it from a fan’s point of view. But it was upsetting to turn around after the game and see all the groups of kids fighting.”

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4 things to watch for when the Chicago Bears host the Houston TexansTodd Welteron September 24, 2022 at 11:30 pm

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The Chicago Bears welcome back former head coach Lovie Smith when he comes to town with the Houston Texans. Smith was the last coach to guide the Chicago Bears to the Super Bowl in 2006. He is also the last Bears head coach to oversee a franchise playoff victory.

Smith is now in charge of a franchise that is very far away from even making the playoffs-much like this year’s Bears.

The Houston Texans might be even worse than the Chicago Bears and that is saying something.

The Bears were exposed in Green Bay as a team that is undergoing a massive rebuild and any good vibes felt after the San Francisco 49ers victory was washed away. The play calling, the quarterback, and the defensive line was ineffective against the Packers.

The loss to the Packers showed the gulf in talent that exists between Chicago and Green Bay. Thankfully, the Chicago Bears get a team that is also in the shallow end of the talent pool.

The Texans are a dysfunctional franchise.

Their offense is struggling on nearly the same level as the Chicago Bears. They are 29th in total yards (three spots ahead of the Bears) and tied with Chicago in points (which ranks in the bottom five of the league).

The Texans led the Indianapolis Colts 20-3 during the third quarter in Week 1 only to see the offense struggle to move the ball in the fourth quarter. The defense allowed three scoring drives in the final quarter and the Texans ended up with a tie against the Colts when neither team could score in overtime.

Houston’s offense did not look much better last week against the Denver Broncos. They only had 234 total yards in a 16-9 Week 2 loss.

The Chicago Bears run defense is worse than the Texans’. After Green Bay ran all over the Bears, expect Lovie Smith to have his team running the ball.

The run defense is one of the four things to watch for when the Bears look to send Smith off with another loss against his former team.

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4 things to watch for when the Chicago Bears host the Houston TexansTodd Welteron September 24, 2022 at 11:30 pm Read More »

Andreas Athanasiou’s blazing speed will help Blackhawks — if he stays healthy

When Andreas Athanasiou was healthy and in the lineup for the Kings in 2021-22, he was quite good.

The Blackhawks hope Athanasiou will be as good for them in 2022-23, just healthier –a lot healthier.

“It’s going to be trial and error just to see where [he] fits the best, but definitely that speed is going to have to be used for us,” coach Luke Richardson said Saturday.

Last year, Athanasiou produced at a prorated 50-point pace –and scored at a prorated 32-goal pace. His analytics were equally excellent: he had a 53.8% expected-goals ratio and 50.6% scoring-chance ratio at even strength. The Kings dominated whenever he was in the lineup, too, playing at an absurd 129-point pace.

But unfortunately, he simply couldn’t stay healthy for long. He broke his finger in the fall. Then he came down with COVID. Then he suffered multiple groin injuries.

He ultimately appeared in only 28 games over five different stints of action. As a result, his 11 goals and 17 points and the Kings’ 19-3-6 record with him dressed hardly made a ripple around the NHL.

“Every time I’d come back, I’d be playing real well, and then I would have to get sidelined,” Athanasiou said. “Obviously, it sucks. You want to be in there, playing with your teammates, and [that’s] just the way it went last year. There’s not much you can do about it. You just have to work through it, really.”

Inconsistency, whether due to injuries or fluctuating performance, has been his Achilles heel for years.

After breaking out with 30 goals and 54 points for the Red Wings in 2018-19, Athanasiou — who has Greek and Guyanese heritage but grew up in Canada — hasn’t tallied more than 26 points in any of the three seasons since, bouncing from Detroit to Edmonton to Los Angeles to Chicago along the way.

But he just turned 28, so there’s plenty of tread left in his tires. And boy, those tires can roll.

Long known as one of the fastest skaters in the league, Athanasiou has seemed to have difficulty not passing the guys in front of him during the Hawks’ post-practice conditioning skates this week.

“He’s definitely got speed,” Richardson said. “I’ve seen that many times before. Coaching against him (with the Canadiens), I was always bringing his name up….especially [when] runningthe defense, watching out for his speed. And sure enough, he’d always get two breakaways a game. So that’s what we’re looking for from him. We’re looking to use his speed. That’s what this team needs, and that’s the way the game is played now.”

Added Athanasiou: “I’ve always been a guy who has been able to get opportunities, so I’m not really worried about the producing [points aspect] too much. I know I’m going to get my chances. I’ve just got to bear down and make a good play, the right play.”

The one-year, $3 million contract he signed with the Hawks in July –a “no-brainer” decision, he said –sets him up to be traded to a playoff contender at the deadline, and he’ll be an unrestricted free agent again next summer.

In the meantime, the 2022-23 Hawks should offer him an excellent opportunity to rejuvenate his career. Top-six minutes, a power-play role and heavy overtime usage will all be readily available. Plus, he’s fully healthy now.

Richardson has early designs on trying him out on a line with Sam Lafferty, another excellent skater. Richardson theorized Saturday that such a combination could help the Hawks defend the top lines of high-paced teams like the Avalanche, Maple Leafs and Oilers.

“Everybody wants to play, so whenever you get your opportunity, just go out there and make the most of [it],” Athanasiou said.

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Andreas Athanasiou’s blazing speed will help Blackhawks — if he stays healthy Read More »

Bears elevate Joe Thomas; have 4 UDFA LBs on active roster

Joe Thomas added to the Bears’ active roster

This week, reports coming from Chicago Bears practice were concerning about the linebacker position. The Bears All-Pro linebacker Roquan Smith is questionable for Sunday. Linebacker Matthew Adams has been ruled out. Saturday, the Bears announced they were elevating linebacker Joe Thomas to the active roster for their Week 3 game against the Houston Texans.

#Bears roster move:
We have elevated LB Joe Thomas from the Practice Squad to the Active Roster.

Joe Thomas is a former undrafted rookie free agent. He’s been all over the league since joining the NFL in 2014 and was a member of the Baltimore Ravens in 2021. Thomas will be one of a handful of former UDFAs on the Bears’ active linebacker roster against the Texans. If Smith is ruled out Sunday, it’s possible that all starting linebackers for the Bears would be UDFAs. Nicholas Morrow, Sterling Weatherford, and Jack Sandborn are the other three active Bears linebackers who are UDFAs.

Per Courtney Cronin with ESPN, Bears head coach Matt Eberflus said this week that the team was trying to figure out combinations with the potential gaps at linebacker.

“We’re looking at all combinations because if were to have two guys down, obviously in pro football, that’s not always good,” Eberflus said.

Eberflus on who might be filling in for Roquan Smith, if he can’t play, since Matt Adams (his back up in nickel) was ruled out.
“We’re looking at all combinations because if you were to have two guys down, obviously in pro football, that’s always not good.

At what level of football would that be good, or sometimes good in the NFL, Matt?

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Tony La Russa won’t return as White Sox manager this season

Tony La Russa won’t return as White Sox manager for the remainder of the 2022 season.

The team announced in a statement Saturday that La Russa was directed by his doctors to not return. The decision came after La Russa underwent ” additional testing and medical procedures over the past week. “

La Russa, who turns 78 Oct. 4, left the team Aug. 30 to undergo tests in Arizona.

Bench coach Miguel Cairo will continue to serve as acting White Sox manager through the remainder of the 2022 season, the team announced.

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Tony La Russa won’t return as White Sox manager this season Read More »

La Russa will not return to White Sox this seasonon September 24, 2022 at 8:42 pm

CHICAGOChicago White Sox manager Tony La Russa won’t return to the dugout this season, the team announced in a press release on Saturday.

La Russa, 78, has been advised by his doctors not to manage again in 2022. He’s been out since late August with a heart ailment, and after undergoing additional testing and medical procedures over the past week, it was determined he should not return.

It’s not clear if La Russa will manage the White Sox next season. By all accounts, the team has underachieved this year which has included another season of injuries to key players.

2 Related

Bench coach Miguel Cairo will continue as acting manager as the White Sox are on the verge of being eliminated from the postseason, having lost their last four games, including three to division leading Cleveland.

La Russa came out of retirement to rejoin Chicago last season and led the White Sox to the playoffs. He has one year remaining on his contract.

The Hall of Fame manager shared specifics of the procedure with the Associated Press earlier this month. He said he was grateful to have had what he considered a relatively “simple” heart issue.

“Health is nothing to mess with,” La Russa said. “So I got checked in Chicago and the reason that I flew to Arizona is that’s been the place since the ’90s I’ve had my physicals. They addressed it, they fixed it and now it’s just a question of regaining strength.”

Additionally, the White Sox placed outfielder Luis Robert on the injured list with a left wrist sprain, an injury which has been nagging him for over a month.

Right-handed pitcher Joe Kelly was reinstated from the Family Medical Leave list while outfielder Mark Payton was recalled from Triple-A Charlotte. Reliever Tanner Banks was optioned to Triple-A as well.

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

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La Russa will not return to White Sox this seasonon September 24, 2022 at 8:42 pm Read More »

La Russa will not return to White Sox this seasonon September 24, 2022 at 8:44 pm

CHICAGOChicago White Sox manager Tony La Russa won’t return to the dugout this season, the team announced in a press release on Saturday.

La Russa, 78, has been advised by his doctors not to manage again in 2022. He’s been out since late August with a heart ailment, and after undergoing additional testing and medical procedures over the past week, it was determined he should not return.

It’s not clear if La Russa will manage the White Sox next season. By all accounts, the team has underachieved this year which has included another season of injuries to key players.

2 Related

Bench coach Miguel Cairo will continue as acting manager as the White Sox are on the verge of being eliminated from the postseason, having lost their last four games, including three to division leading Cleveland.

La Russa came out of retirement to rejoin Chicago last season and led the White Sox to the playoffs. He has one year remaining on his contract.

The Hall of Fame manager shared specifics of the procedure with the Associated Press earlier this month. He said he was grateful to have had what he considered a relatively “simple” heart issue.

“Health is nothing to mess with,” La Russa said. “So I got checked in Chicago and the reason that I flew to Arizona is that’s been the place since the ’90s I’ve had my physicals. They addressed it, they fixed it and now it’s just a question of regaining strength.”

Additionally, the White Sox placed outfielder Luis Robert on the injured list with a left wrist sprain, an injury which has been nagging him for over a month.

Right-handed pitcher Joe Kelly was reinstated from the Family Medical Leave list while outfielder Mark Payton was recalled from Triple-A Charlotte. Reliever Tanner Banks was optioned to Triple-A as well.

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

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La Russa will not return to White Sox this seasonon September 24, 2022 at 8:44 pm Read More »

Just like we told you

We’ve reached an “I told you so” moment, dear readers, where I get to say . . .

I told you so!

It was roughly one year ago that I predicted the Bears would probably call upon the good citizens of Arlington Heights to fork over a TIF handout to build their new football stadium on the site of the old race track.

And so it was that last week George Halas McCaskey, chairman of the Bears, held a dog and pony show at Hersey High School in Arlington Heights to say, “yeah, that hippie guy from the Reader had it right. We’re about to sock it to you.”

Okay, McCaskey’s far too smart to put it so bluntly. Instead, he said: “The Bears will seek no public funding for direct stadium structure construction. However . . .”

Get ready, Arlington Heights, cause what comes after “however” is never a joke.

“We will need help,” McCaskey continued. Just like I told you.

Now McCaskey has not mentioned exactly what kind or how much help they will need. But I  think we can all agree that before this is over the Bears will have stuck their big ol’ paw into that Tax Increment Financing honey pot. Courtesy of the Arlington Heights taxpayers.

As a tax paying resident of Chicago all I can say is . . . thank goodness it’s them and not me. For once.

By the way, I made that initial prediction a year ago after an unintentionally funny headline in Crain’s Chicago Business that said:  “A new Bears stadium: Who’d pay for it?”

Like there was any doubt as to the answer to that question.  

This year’s funny headline ran in the Sun-Times. It said:  “The Bears have had preliminary talks with [Governor] Pritzker, lawmakers about subsidies—and no one has slammed the door.”

You know, like the Bears are waiting with baited breath to see if they get what they want.

Call me jaded, people, but I do not believe the Bears would have gone this far—placing an option to buy the old race track and hiring consultants to do traffic surveys—if they weren’t reasonably assured that it was only a matter of time before the handout was theirs.

That means we’ve reached what I call the get-that-official-an-Oscar phase of TIF deals.

I call it that because public officials will conjure their inner Brando as they play the role of unbiased public servants, objectively sifting through the evidence to determine if, in fact, a handout is warranted.

As opposed to having already made up their minds to give the Bears what they want.

If Arlington Heights is anything like Chicago, its leaders will eventually find themselves reassuring taxpayers that, after carefully studying the matter, they’ve concluded that handing over public money to the Bears is in the public’s best interest. So it will be like the Bears are doing the taxpayers a favor, as opposed to the other way around. Along those lines . . .

At last week’s dog and pony presentation, the Bears promised that no public dollars will go to construct the football stadium.

Which is a distinction without much meaning to taxpayers. Since taxpayers will be shelling out money for other parts of the stadium project.

And, really, what difference does it make if public money goes for seats in the stadium, as opposed to the parking lot around the stadium, or the foundation on which the stadium rests, or the roads leading to the stadium and so forth?

It’s still public money helping the Bears pay for their stadium.

Curiously, McCaskey’s pledge undercuts the Bears’ argument that they need money at all. Because if they can afford to build a stadium without a subsidy, why take the subsidy at all?

I’ll say this for the Arlington Heights deal—at least it’s generated some resistance. This one from the right, which has been notoriously silent in regards to Chicago’s TIF scam.

Specifically, opposition comes from the Americans for Prosperity Illinois, a local affiliate of an outfit created by the Koch brothers, those far-right libertarians who’s policies I generally abhor.

But I agree with them here. They say they’re sick and tired of “corporate welfare”. And I say, right on to that.

For all these years, I’ve been watching Mayors Daley, Emanuel and Lightfoot doling out TIF money to wealthy developers on the grounds that it’s an “investment” in Chicago.

And then I watch them turn around and say we can’t afford mental health clinics in poor neighborhoods or librarians and nurses in public schools.

When they give money to rich people, it’s always an “investment”. But when they spend the money on people who really need it, it’s treated like a waste.

So, yes, I find myself in the unlikely position of cheering on the Koch brother bunch. In fact, Brian Costin, one of their leaders, will be a guest on my podcast.

Costin and his allies submitted to the Arlington Heights Village Board over 600 signatures from voters, asking the board to pass an “Anti-Corporate Welfare Ordinance” that would prohibit “offering or extending any financial incentive to any business or corporation to operate in the village”.

If board members vote down that ordinance—as I suspect they will—Costin and his allies will move to Plan B.

They will attempt to gather over 7,000 signatures to a petition that would put the issue on the ballot, probably in next April’s municipal election. In other words, let the voters decide if they want to give public dollars to the Bears.

It’s pretty exciting to watch democracy in action. 

On the other hand, there’s a chance—admittedly, very remote—that they might get their measure on the ballot. And that the voters of Arlington Heights might reject a Bears handout.

In which case, guess what?  The Bears will turn around and look to Chicago for a sweetheart deal, which knowing our mayors, they will probably get.

Just goes to show you, when it comes to TIFs, one way or another taxpayers in Chicago always stand a chance of losing. 

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Sorry, Arlington Heights

Pound for pound the funniest headline for the last week, if not month, came from the unlikeliest source—Crain’s Chicago Business. Not widely known for its knee-slappers. But in this case they had me laughing out loud, when a few days ago they posed the following question in a mass e-mailed clickbait post: “A new Bears…


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With another disappointing Bears season having finally, mercifully, come to an end, the time has once again come for me to once again ask the burning question . . . No, not who the McCaskeys will hire as coach now that they’ve fired Matt Nagy, about a year after it was obvious he was the…

Read More

Just like we told you Read More »

Just like we told youBen Joravskyon September 24, 2022 at 4:36 pm

We’ve reached an “I told you so” moment, dear readers, where I get to say . . .

I told you so!

It was roughly one year ago that I predicted the Bears would probably call upon the good citizens of Arlington Heights to fork over a TIF handout to build their new football stadium on the site of the old race track.

And so it was that last week George Halas McCaskey, chairman of the Bears, held a dog and pony show at Hersey High School in Arlington Heights to say, “yeah, that hippie guy from the Reader had it right. We’re about to sock it to you.”

Okay, McCaskey’s far too smart to put it so bluntly. Instead, he said: “The Bears will seek no public funding for direct stadium structure construction. However . . .”

Get ready, Arlington Heights, cause what comes after “however” is never a joke.

“We will need help,” McCaskey continued. Just like I told you.

Now McCaskey has not mentioned exactly what kind or how much help they will need. But I  think we can all agree that before this is over the Bears will have stuck their big ol’ paw into that Tax Increment Financing honey pot. Courtesy of the Arlington Heights taxpayers.

As a tax paying resident of Chicago all I can say is . . . thank goodness it’s them and not me. For once.

By the way, I made that initial prediction a year ago after an unintentionally funny headline in Crain’s Chicago Business that said:  “A new Bears stadium: Who’d pay for it?”

Like there was any doubt as to the answer to that question.  

This year’s funny headline ran in the Sun-Times. It said:  “The Bears have had preliminary talks with [Governor] Pritzker, lawmakers about subsidies—and no one has slammed the door.”

You know, like the Bears are waiting with baited breath to see if they get what they want.

Call me jaded, people, but I do not believe the Bears would have gone this far—placing an option to buy the old race track and hiring consultants to do traffic surveys—if they weren’t reasonably assured that it was only a matter of time before the handout was theirs.

That means we’ve reached what I call the get-that-official-an-Oscar phase of TIF deals.

I call it that because public officials will conjure their inner Brando as they play the role of unbiased public servants, objectively sifting through the evidence to determine if, in fact, a handout is warranted.

As opposed to having already made up their minds to give the Bears what they want.

If Arlington Heights is anything like Chicago, its leaders will eventually find themselves reassuring taxpayers that, after carefully studying the matter, they’ve concluded that handing over public money to the Bears is in the public’s best interest. So it will be like the Bears are doing the taxpayers a favor, as opposed to the other way around. Along those lines . . .

At last week’s dog and pony presentation, the Bears promised that no public dollars will go to construct the football stadium.

Which is a distinction without much meaning to taxpayers. Since taxpayers will be shelling out money for other parts of the stadium project.

And, really, what difference does it make if public money goes for seats in the stadium, as opposed to the parking lot around the stadium, or the foundation on which the stadium rests, or the roads leading to the stadium and so forth?

It’s still public money helping the Bears pay for their stadium.

Curiously, McCaskey’s pledge undercuts the Bears’ argument that they need money at all. Because if they can afford to build a stadium without a subsidy, why take the subsidy at all?

I’ll say this for the Arlington Heights deal—at least it’s generated some resistance. This one from the right, which has been notoriously silent in regards to Chicago’s TIF scam.

Specifically, opposition comes from the Americans for Prosperity Illinois, a local affiliate of an outfit created by the Koch brothers, those far-right libertarians who’s policies I generally abhor.

But I agree with them here. They say they’re sick and tired of “corporate welfare”. And I say, right on to that.

For all these years, I’ve been watching Mayors Daley, Emanuel and Lightfoot doling out TIF money to wealthy developers on the grounds that it’s an “investment” in Chicago.

And then I watch them turn around and say we can’t afford mental health clinics in poor neighborhoods or librarians and nurses in public schools.

When they give money to rich people, it’s always an “investment”. But when they spend the money on people who really need it, it’s treated like a waste.

So, yes, I find myself in the unlikely position of cheering on the Koch brother bunch. In fact, Brian Costin, one of their leaders, will be a guest on my podcast.

Costin and his allies submitted to the Arlington Heights Village Board over 600 signatures from voters, asking the board to pass an “Anti-Corporate Welfare Ordinance” that would prohibit “offering or extending any financial incentive to any business or corporation to operate in the village”.

If board members vote down that ordinance—as I suspect they will—Costin and his allies will move to Plan B.

They will attempt to gather over 7,000 signatures to a petition that would put the issue on the ballot, probably in next April’s municipal election. In other words, let the voters decide if they want to give public dollars to the Bears.

It’s pretty exciting to watch democracy in action. 

On the other hand, there’s a chance—admittedly, very remote—that they might get their measure on the ballot. And that the voters of Arlington Heights might reject a Bears handout.

In which case, guess what?  The Bears will turn around and look to Chicago for a sweetheart deal, which knowing our mayors, they will probably get.

Just goes to show you, when it comes to TIFs, one way or another taxpayers in Chicago always stand a chance of losing. 

The Latest from the Ben Joravsky Show

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48:55

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01:07:05

Rummana Hussain–Sydney’s Trump Party
52:33

RELATED STORIES


Race and football

After watching Brian Flores parade before the cameras to talk about his racial-discrimination lawsuit against the NFL, I immediately realized who the Bears should have hired as their coach . . . Brian Flores! The man comes off as fearless, strong, cool under pressure, and classy. In short, just about everything any team would want…


Sorry, Arlington Heights

Pound for pound the funniest headline for the last week, if not month, came from the unlikeliest source—Crain’s Chicago Business. Not widely known for its knee-slappers. But in this case they had me laughing out loud, when a few days ago they posed the following question in a mass e-mailed clickbait post: “A new Bears…


Listen to Olin

With another disappointing Bears season having finally, mercifully, come to an end, the time has once again come for me to once again ask the burning question . . . No, not who the McCaskeys will hire as coach now that they’ve fired Matt Nagy, about a year after it was obvious he was the…

Read More

Just like we told youBen Joravskyon September 24, 2022 at 4:36 pm Read More »

The ass ceiling

There is more to this week’s Savage Love. To read the entire column, go to Savage.Love

Q: At a party recently I was chatting with a parent who mentioned that he lets his (elementary school age) kids look at porn. He had a laissez-faire attitude about the whole thing, but I found it disturbing. Am I being a judgy childless witch?

A: There were no middle schools where I grew up, so an “elementary school age” child could be a six-year-old first grader or 14-year-old eighth grader. For the record: I obviously don’t think a six-year-old should view porn, and a responsible parent would not allow a young child to view pornography. I also know it’s almost impossible for a parent to stop a motivated 14-year-old kid from looking at porn. So, if this man’s children are older, perhaps he said, “lets his kids,” when he meant, “can’t stop his kids.” Whatever his kids’ ages, you can’t stop him from not stopping his kid from looking at porn, but you are free to offer him some unsolicited advice. (Is there anything parents enjoy more?) You could also send him the clip of Billie Eilish on Howard Stern talking about how watching porn at a young age really messed with her head.

Q: My husband likes to be naked all the time at home. I think he should cover up when he’s in front of the big window in our front room and can be seen from the street, but he says I am being body shame-y. What do you think?

A: I dated a guy who thought he should be able to walk around in front of his large picture windows at home, naked and sometimes hard (morning woody), and he was adamant about it. And then one day the police came and arrested him for indecent exposure. Anyway, you should put up curtains and/or plant some tall bushes in front of those picture windows.

Q: 44-year-old here who’s on the dating scene for the first time in 11 years. A few months ago, I hit it off with a hot, hot guy. Great! My problem/question is about distractions during sex, and I need a sanity check. Once during intercourse, Hot Guy called out an answer to an NPR news quiz that was playing in the background. Is this behavior rude? I’m operating under the assumption that if one’s mind wanders during sex, one should at least pretend to be focused.

A: “Maybe this letter writer should’ve chosen a more appropriate time for intimate relations—like when This American Life is playing,” said Peter Sagal, the host of Wait Wait . . . Don’t Tell Me!, National Public Radio’s long-running news quiz program. “Still, I completely understand why the letter writer would be offended by this man’s behavior. First, by thinking our show would be appropriate as an audio background for lovemaking—although Bill Kurtis is known, for good reason, as the Barry White of anchormen. And second, the fact that he actually answered questions out loud while in flagrante. But the letter writer shouldn’t think he was completely ignoring her to concentrate on us: our questions aren’t that hard.”

Follow Peter Sagal on Twitter @PeterSagal.

Q: Been playing with one of my fellow guys recently—I’m a gay guy—who says he’s into men, but who absolutely refuses to let me (or anyone else) touch his butt. What is this?

A: The Ass Ceiling. (It’s also a boundary of his, and one you must respect—but you’re free to ask him about it. Conversations, even follow-up conversations, about limits, boundaries, and reasonable expectations are not inherently coercive. Wanting to better understand a “no” doesn’t mean you didn’t hear it and don’t respect it. But at the start of a follow-up conversation like that, you need to emphasize that you did, indeed, hear that “no,” and will, of course, continue to respect it.)

Q: I’m a 40-year-old cis het man. For more than 20 years—most of my life so far—I’ve been obsessed with one woman. We were never a couple, and I haven’t had contact with her since my mid-20s. How to get past this? The easiest way would probably be to start a relationship with another woman. Or I could get therapy—but I don’t know if my insurance would cover it.

A: Some days my Instagram feed is mostly memes about how straight guys will do literally anything to avoid getting the therapy they clearly need . . . and your question brought every one of those memes to mind. I mean, you’ve been miserable for almost two decades and you can’t be bothered to check whether your health insurance covers the therapy you so clearly need? Jesus, dude. Make that phone call, get some therapy, don’t date anyone until you’ve been seeing your therapist for at least a year.

Q: My husband and I (bio female, newly transmasc) recently became poly. We have created a “closed kitchen table poly quad” with our two best friends. The breakdown is one older married couple, one younger engaged couple, and it’s getting serious. We are now talking about moving in together. Any tips on living together for poly newbies? I think we have a chance at making it work long-term, but I don’t want to add pressure.

A: Here’s a tip for poly newbies: don’t move in with other singles, couples, triads, battalions, etc., you just started dating. If moving in together is the right thing to do, moving in together will still be the right thing three years from now. If it’s the wrong thing to do, moving in together will be a disaster three months from now. Take it slow.

Q: A date recently tried acting out a Daddy Dom roleplay with me. I don’t want to judge, but . . .

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