Although I had so many things that I needed to accomplish this weekend, I spent it watching Netflix, mostly binge-watching season one of Ginny and Georgia. Although no one seems to call it binge-reading, I do this with books also. Other than the obvious reason to be entertained by a good story, why else do I binge on a show or a book? Why can’t I stop? To binge on something is defined as excessive indulgence. To break that down again, indulgence is to yield to a desire. Did I have a desire to watch hours of TV or read for nine hours? I’m not sure about that, but I do know that I have some personal struggles going on, in addition to the stress of this never ending pandemic, so I spent most of the weekend zoning out and actively NOT thinking about my own life. It was a bit of escapism, or maybe big-time escapism. In the past when I was troubled or had decisions to make, I would talk to friends and family, go for a drive or even take a long walk or run, but now I sat and watched TV and tried my hardest not to think. I have admitted to myself and to others that I believe I have a repetitive type tendency. I can eat the same think for breakfast for 25 years; I can drive the same way to work every day, and I can keep the furniture in my room the same for years. It makes sense then that I can sit and watch a show for hours on end, but should I? Everyone talks about binge-watching shows, but for me it does feel hard to break the cycle. I was up until 4:30 Saturday night reading a book, and 2:30 Sunday night watching Netflix. I was tired both nights and knew I should just stop and go to sleep. Luckily, I am off work today, but I know that I can’t pick up a book or turn on the TV or I will not get anything done all day.

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All through my day, no matter where I go, or what I do, I am always looking for the good in people, in the world, in my life or even just in my day.

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