I’ve Got The Hippy Shakes
Donald Trump and the Republican National Committee: Stop asking me for money!!
It started in February of 2016. I didn’t know that my relationship with these people was going to go on for more than five years. I’d like to end this, but I’m not sure how to do it. Maybe this blog post will do it? I doubt it, but it’s worth the effort.
Word on the street was that Donald Trump was going to have a rally in Chicago. I was intrigued. Not because there was a chance that I would ever vote for him; I just wanted to see in person what the big deal about him was. Plus, I figured it would be a great topic to write about.
In order to get tickets for the event at the University of Illinois-Chicago, you had to send them an email request. Fine! No problem. They’ll return the tickets and that’ll be it. What could go wrong? How naive was I?
The event kind of occurred in March of that year. You may remember all the protesters on the street caused Don to wimp out. He was a no-show. Fine. I went home with no damage done. Only a few hours of my life that I’d never get back were lost and I did get a couple of articles out of the event. A win for me/loss for Trump.
But guess what kids….Don and the RNC kept my email address on file. And man, did they use it! Basically, every day since that non-rally, I’ve been inundated with what I consider spam that at the bottom asks for a donation. Hmmm….that win for me in the above paragraph turned into a loss. A big loss!!
I know it’s not a huge deal. It’s just one more piece of my daily spam that I have to delete, but it gets annoying.
I figured after Don lost the 2020 election and went back to whatever the fuck he does now in his private life, this would come to an end. Wrong! Because of the fake claim of election fraud and how his presidency was stolen, the emails have doubled. At least it seems that way. I’m getting them multiple times a day. It always ends with a pitch for money that would be used to investigate the many cases of voter fraud that has installed an illegitimate president.
A few months ago, I had enough. We all have our breaking points and I finally reached mine. Five-plus years was actually five-plus years too many. I actually sent them a response:
It’s been five years since you started these fundraising emails. Not once have I given you money. You even threaten to end this relationship if I don’t immediately respond with some cash, but you never follow up on those threats. I’m now asking you to do this by taking my name off your lists. Thanks in advance, Fuck You
I thought it was a lovely email, right? I asked nicely until the end when I turned into a ten-year-old boy. It happens to the best of us occasionally.
Well, guess what? My lovely email didn’t do the trick. They continue to send me emails but have changed the greeting. They now start with…and get this…DEAR FU. Yep…every single day I now wake up to an email asking Dear Fu for some dineros. Here’s a quick peek at the latest one:
Fu, we have been trying to get an urgent message to you and have received no response.
You were included in an exclusive group of Patriots to become one of the FIRST Trump Social Media Founding Supporters, and go down in HISTORY as one of the FIRST to join.
They then mention that my registration status is pending and if I don’t respond they’ll have to take me from their list.
DO IT! PLEASE!! Ehhhh…probably just more of their empty threats.
So, desperate times call for desperate measures. I know the RNC will never see this and if they do, they won’t give a damn. They aren’t going to stop. Why should they? It doesn’t cost them anything. What I’ve decided to do is send them this column in response to every email they send. That’s right….EVERY! SINGLE! EMAIL! Well, at least until I get tired of doing it. I give it a week.
So to Donald Trump and the RNC, get ready cuz here they come,
love, Fu.
Related Post: All I want for Christmas is Donald Trump impeached
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Howard Moore
My so called friends think it’s time to edit this section. After four years, they may be right, but don’t tell them that. I’ll deny it until they die!
I can’t believe I’ve been writing this blog for four years.
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I really thought this was going to be the final year of the blog but then Donald Trump came along. It looks like we’re good for four more years..God help us all!
Oh yeah…the biographical stuff. I’m not 60 anymore. The rest you can read about in the blog.
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