Monica Geller on “Friends”: “I guess there was a screw up at that damn post office. Tell me about it. U.S. Post Office, more like U.S. lost office.”

A large portion of the 2020 election will be conducted by mail. Citizens get their ballots by mail, fill them out, send them, done…VOILA!! Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Many states have done this for years, plus all states handle absentee voting by mail. Easy peasy without problems.

The only person with issues about this is our current president. We’ve heard Donald Trump make his unsubstantiated claims about voting fraud due to mail-in voting for months. The only ones who believe him are his flunkies and probably not even then since most of them already vote by mail. They just have to continue their constant ass kissing to keep in his good graces.

However, mail voting is going to rise substantially this year. Because of Covid-19, people will feel safer voting this way. Why risk getting infected by standing in long lines with people you don’t know, when you can eliminate that without leaving your home? It makes perfect sense…at least it does if you can trust the post office system to handle the job….but can you?

First off, Trump and his buds have been defunding the post office system. I’m not sure the post office will have the money or resources to handle this most important job. When you add in that the Postmaster General is Trump supporter Louis DeJoy, whose only qualification for the job is he donated millions of dollars to Trump. Makes you feel a little uncomfortable about this, doesn’t it?

I was already more than a little leery about this…and then I had this recent episode with the U.S. mail….

I needed some new socks. I decided to buy a couple of pairs from a company that does all their business through their website. No problem, right? We all buy things off the internet, right? I made the purchase and I was told I would get an email when the socks were ready to ship. After a few days without getting the email, I contacted the company. We went back and forth a few times. Finally I received the email that would let me track my package of socks. Then the U.S. post office got involved….OY! Check out the road trip my socks took:

July 13 Avenel, New Jersey: Order processed and shipped.
July 15 Melrose Park, Illinois: Package arrival.

So far, so good….

July 17 Chariton, Iowa: Package arrival at post office.

Uh oh! I’m pretty sure this isn’t the route to take to get from Melrose Park to the north Chicago suburbs.

July 18 Des Moines, Iowa: Package arrival at post office.

C’MON already!!! Do I have to drive to Iowa to pick up the socks?

July 19 Forest Park, Illinois: Package processed at sorting hub.

I’m not sure what a sorting hub is, but we seem to be getting closer to delivery.

July 20 Fox Valley, Illinois: Package processed at sorting hub.

Hmmmm…the socks seem to be moving backwards, plus there’s that sorting hub thingy again.

July 22 Palatine: Package arrived and processed at sorting hub.

Enough already with this damn sorting hub!

July 22 Deerfield, Illinois: Package arrived and processed at sorting hub.

C’mon!! Stop with this fucking sorting hub!!

July 23 Deerfield, Illinois: Delivered!!

WOW!!! Ten days to get from New Jersey to Illinois. Even with a side trip to bum fuck Iowa, that’s a long time. Quite the road trip!! Maybe the socks were looking for a better home?

But if takes that long to get a two pairs of socks delivered, what are the chances millions and millions of ballots have to be delivered on time and correctly? By the way, this isn’t my first delivery episode with the post office this year. A passport that I ordered in January was supposedly delivered a month later. Keyword is supposedly because I never received it. My local post office has no idea where it is. Good thing Americans are banned from flying into almost every country. Pffft!

My solution, and I know this won’t work for everyone, is to vote early. In Illinois, we have about three weeks of early voting. My local poll is the library about a hundred yards from my back door. I can walk there, vote, go home and wash off all the voting booth cooties in a lot less time than it will take to get my vote-in ballot delivered.

Sounds like a plan, right? Maybe I’ll even wear the new socks to polling place. U.S. Post Office…more like U.S. lost office! Hey guys….any chance of finding my lost passport by election day?

Related Post: Who would be president if the election was postponed?

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