“Cinco de Mayo,” that was a Liz Phair song, from Whitechocolatespaceegg, her third record, released in 1998.

It was a great time in my life. I had the whole world before me, but I squandered it. Unaware of the march of time, I thought I had forever?

How do you prepare for the future if no one teaches you? The person raising me was in her 70’s, looking at the past. Grandma talked only of God and hard work, day to day life. She used to say, “Adam, pray every night, and God will provide you with a good wife.”

Instead of following my dreams, I looked for love; my fault. I thought I needed to be defined because everyone else in this one-horse town was settling down. I wanted love for all the wrong reasons and, so, it was fleeting.

After much drinking, drugging, and failure, I met Jen. She helped me find the life I was pining for, and the love worth working towards. I wanted school and graduation from college. I wanted the city, the jobs in high rises, radio stations, restaurants, and then, years later, the breweries.

I envisioned the life, but never gave myself the freedom to find it, until I was older. It takes guidance, risk, and persistence. I always credit my wife for guiding me, pushing me when needed. I was afriad of my own shadow, and sometimes I still feel this way. We can all use a little nudge.

“Cinco de mayo, blowout, denial/It wasn’t fun this time, letting you go
What if I never, a bullet forever/Held out my hand to you?
We wouldn’t have known beautiful flow.” -Liz Phair

No matter who you are, I dare you to search for the freedom to accomplish your dreams. Whether they be love or life.

Happy Cinco de Mayo. Happy Freedom!

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