Today’s post is a special salute for all who are sheltering in place/ quarantining/ staying at home, etc., not that we should get any particular credit for doing what we are supposed to do, known as the Right Thing, right? By now, I’m guessing everyone is noticing certain joys in our new confinement – increased family time with ample opportunity to play board games, cook together, catch up on household projects, and gradually drive each other to distraction. Followed by night terrors about what if the Internet goes down. For those who live independently of all that, other joys come in the form of silence and enough time to look in the mirror to see how you stack up against your intentions these days. Who knew that personal growth would come of this?

We have changed already. Any of these apply to you?

1. You have learned new skills and reset some priorities, am I right? Who doesn’t have a new Zoom.com account now and is pestering friends to join a call to see how cool it is? And who hasn’t already clarified who are the people that you really really need to be in touch with through this.
2. Broadened your horizons? Are you done watching all the YouTube videos you can think of to learn about Barrow Alaska, the northernmost point in the US? Or the Python infestation in the Everglades? Or what it’s really like to fly an airplane? Helpful hint: you are not even close to done. Have you watched every song in Hamilton with the original Broadway cast? And the best rock performance of all time – Queen at LiveAid? Interviews with notables from everywhere? How to create your own facemask?

3. Relaxed your standards? Less makeup, less grooming, more sweats and yoga pants, unused curling irons, fewer showers? But don’t go too far. I know someone who has begun watching reality TV show replays to see what didn’t really happen in the first place all over again.

4. Caught up on chores? Cleaned out the garage, washed the kitchen floor? Me either.

5. Renewed old interests? Hauled out the old Nintendo, started the jigsaw puzzles you never got to, found the adult coloring book you got for Christmas and colored page 1? Or thinking big, got out the sewing machine, or found your sheet music to see if you could still play your old favorites?

6. Or maybe you’ve gone really big and faced what you’ve been meaning to do for years? Like finally learn French, write up stories about your childhood for your descendants, reach out to an old friend you miss? Or go through the box your dad left you that you couldn’t bear to open yet? If not yet, maybe you will.

There will be opportunities in this, friends, I promise. Things that will spark joy, that will relieve distress, that will bring us together even though we are apart. It’s for sure that we’ll be smarter after this. What can we do to make sure we’re also happier?

Have you ever read “The Rocking-Horse Winner” by D.H. Lawrence? It’s a short story about a boy named Paul who wants to prove to his mother that he’s lucky because she once told him that only lucky people make a lot of money, and the green paper is something mama bear never has enough of. One day, Paul discovers that if he rides his rocking-horse long enough, the name of the winning horse at the track will appear on his tongue. With the help of the family gardener, Paul begins placing bets and starts winning big. However, Paul’s lucky streak proves to be detrimental as his mental and physical health decline, all the while the family’s house continues to whisper, “There must be more money!”

We’ve been asking this question for a long time so, let’s examine it again: can money really buy happiness?

“The Rocking-Horse Winner” surely classifies as a parable. Chase money relentlessly enough and you’re likely to lose your mind. The first time I read this story, I immediately thought of my mom. That’s not to say that she’s superficial or greedy or would risk something as serious as her children’s health to gain wealth. But money has always been a word I’ve wished to hear less of. Still, I respected what money represented when my mother spoke of it. It symbolized economic independence and self-sufficiency. It meant not having to worry about how you would make the next mortgage payment when you were laid-off. It was motivation to push your kids to strive for more so you never found them struggling like you did. I get it. I respect it. I even admire it to an extent. This has a lot to do with the immigrant drive. The beasts that wade through quicksand but calmly push through until they reach solid ground. What’s not to commend? But my question is, when does the need for money morph into an obsession? Is there ever enough money?

There’s that well-known Princeton University study conducted in 2010 that says money can in fact buy happiness, but only if you make up to $75,000 annually. Your happiness doesn’t increase if you make more but the lower you fall on the pay ladder, the less happier you are, researchers determined. So what happens to the people who have reached that number but keep pushing themselves further anyway? My concern is for the people who have been breaking their backs for 10, 20, 30 years that the hustle has become an extension of them. They’re chasing a high that can never be reached because the price of living keeps going up and even though they have enough, it never feels like it. The bank accounts are never full enough. The losses far surpassing our profits. What is one to do?

I got into an argument with my mom regarding this today. She’s 57 and has been breaking her back since she was in her mid-20s. She told me that she wasn’t happy but she also wasn’t unhappy. Outside of visiting family in India, (the last time was over 10 years ago) she has never taken a vacation. She hasn’t been to a museum in over 30 years. Has never been to Navy Pier. Has never ridden a bike down a peaceful trail that stretches for miles. She has never roller-bladed or tried ice-skating. She’s never ventured out to have lunch on her own where she overpaid for a salad only to regret it later. She has so many silver hairs now that she can no longer maim them like she used to when there were just a few. When will be her time to be happy?

I’ve often wondered what my mom’s life would have been like if she wasn’t left with nothing after her divorce from my scumbag dad. Would she still have spent her days never feeling like she had enough to support us even when she did? Did she feel the need to compensate for his absence with enough to help my sister and me through life?

I’m not disparaging people like my mom, people who did what they had to to survive and feel even the smallest sense of security. I admire them. But being surrounded by the whispers of “There must be more money” has made me reluctant to have more than I need. For someone with an advanced degree, I make significantly less than I should but enough to pay my bills and still enjoy my life a bit. I’m 29 and I know what the Pacific feels like in March when I dip my toes in it. I know how bad it burns your nose to mistake wasabi for guac. I know what it’s like to have enough spare time to read 57 books in a year.

We know that money can’t buy every experience.

It’s can’t buy you friends and their genuine affections.

It can’t buy real love…(no, finding your partner on a paid eharmony subscription doesn’t count).

And it most certainly cannot buy you time.

So what price do we end up paying when we chase after money?

D.H. Lawrence may have known something we didn’t even back in 1926.

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SELF-ISOLATION, DAY 19;  MAKE MY DAY

This Lady made my day

I have been a little ashamed the past 2 days I was tired and kind of down. Of course, we all go up and down. One thing I have learned over the past several years has been that when I feel down, sad; I know it is just now and I will feel better again. Therapy with a professional therapist has helped me a lot. Something has been going on over time here; I am losing my fear of being myself; letting my friends and family see me…. I do not know what difference it makes… but I no longer wish to appear as some artificial image of who I might like the world to see. Who I am is a profound question for all of us.  But.. to my story today:

So, I was quite tired last night after work, as I wrote. This AM I was still a bit tired but my mood was better. So, I was working and as I have said, we do not have masks available. There are some vinyl or plastic or latex gloves available. A young woman came up to me, wearing a mask, it looked likely the N95 mask. She needed a particular kind of beer. Fortunately I was able to help her find it. As I have said, I have become more open in speaking with people, initiating a conversation. 60 years ago I would not have imagined myself today. So, I asked her, “pardon me ma’am, I hope you don’t mind my asking, but where did you get your mask? “ She replied, “my husband is a police officer!”  So I continued on with the discussion, that it was good that he was taking care of his family, and I appreciate that he is out there as a first responder. I said that it is hard to get a mask and I can either go to work or not. I am kind of fatalistic about it. I truly was not trying to get a mask from her. So she pulled a surgical mask from her purse. For those who don’t know, a surgical mask can screen out aerosol droplets from your breath, nose and in surgery or some other procedure, can help prevent contamination of a surgical field. The N95 mask is designed to prevent the passage of these tiny submicroscopic virus particles. I have worn both in my past life in the medical field. I had an N95 mask during the 2009 H1N1 influenza epidemic. In any case, I told her, “No, I just want you to take care of yourself, your family and your husband who is out there as a first-responder.” So, we exchanged conversation for a minute and she said she had a couple others and it did not matter. So, I accepted it and wished her and her family well, and to stay safe. I nearly cried. By now, those of you who know me know that I can be an emotional old whatever. It was not quite as significant, but for me it felt almost like someone giving me their life vest. OK, now I am crying. Sorry! OK? But she did not have to do that. Yeah, she has her own mask, which is good. If I were a cop or still a doctor and could acquire an N95 mask for the one I love, you bet your ass I would make sure I took care of my family. So, I do NOT believe that doctors or nurses or the police are hoarding the masks from the rest of us. I DO believe that the administration has totally screwed up and is not doing everything it can to care for us citizens. That’s another story.

But my story is the story of two people meeting during a time of trial; an epidemic; a time when many more than usual will die. And one made a significant gesture to care for a stranger. So, it is so easy to find stories of people being mean to each other. But… and I guess I am a kind of “cup is half-full” kind of guy; there is a lot of kindness. It made the rest of my day. Wore it most of the time. I have it drying under a lamp in my bathroom. I do not have ultraviolet light, so I can only hope to dry it and maybe if there are any COVID-19 viruses on it, they might die, and tomorrow I will wear it again to try to help prevent the spread of the virus. Maybe I will not get sick and die.

This brings me to the next part of my blog, dear readers! This whole blog-thing is about how I feel each day during our isolation, our partial lock-down, our trying to survive the pandemic of 2020. One part of me does NOT accept that I could potentially acquire this virus, get sick and die, feeling very miserable. I just have decided I will NOT get sick. Does brute-force power of will count? I have no idea. Another part knows, when it is night, the sky is dark, I am tired and awake in the early hours and know I could just get sick and die like many others. It is just the world. Life. Life and Death. What I want to tell all of you is that we should NOT worry so much about dying from COVID-19, if we truly have religious/spiritual thoughts about Life. About, why we live and what it really means to live our lives. I return time and again to the final moments of my wife’s last moments, more than 13 years ago. She was already beginning to transition from this world in her body into the next. She did not speak. I watched as she stopped breathing. I touched her cheek and it was no longer soft. No longer living. That changed my life as I knew then that I would die. At some point my spirit/soul will separate from my body. It is true for all of us. This can be a profound awakening for all of us. We should not be afraid.

So, my friends, my sisters and brothers. Please believe in each other, in the Divine within each of us. That God, the One, however you perceive the Universal Spirit in the Universe and within each of us, is alive and loving us. We cannot know where we are all going, but, please,

Be safe, stay well, believe in the higher powers, the Divine in us. We can do this together.

David, April, 4, 2020

T.S. Elliot’s poem The Waste Land described April as the cruelest month, but looked toward the light. This poetry month, our hopeful nine-year-old refused to write poems or fairy tails for school about a virus. Although we talked about another spring break to Miami, it did not come to fruition. Thankfully, our sweet boy recounts our family spring vacation three years ago.

Florida Everglades, 2017

Chompy the Alligator 

Our fun, fierce family of four forged forward in the Florida Everglades.

We spied dark dinosaur descendants on a daring adventure.

Our brave boat tour breezed like birds.

Alligators aimed in the grass.

They swat big scary, scaly tails.

They blend in with the green, dirty swamp.

We heard alligators roar and hiss.

Screech, their sharp teeth ruptured small animals.

We bussed back to our Miami hotel.

We named our own alligator float

Chompy Picasso to play safe in the pool.

Our family looks forward to future adventures.

We wish you safety, good health and prosperity! Meanwhile, we old school step to Will Smith old school “Miami” favorites to get “jiggy with it.”XOXO

Pushing on with my abbreviated list of beer events. Most of these are for carry-out beer releases, or virtual events. More get added at the last minute.

I have been trying to keep up the list of places still open for carry-out and delivery in the articles at the top of my blogroll. One or two of them may start to close down until the virus situation ends, so I will try to keep my lists current.

Monday, April 6

Tuesday, April 7

Wednesday, April 8

Thursday, April 9