What’s New

Best Hookup Sites and Apps for Adult Dating in 2023Corvelay Mediaon January 20, 2023 at 8:04 am

Traditional dating isn’t for everyone. Some people want serious relationships while others want something more casual, like a hookup. The taboo around casual dating has subsided in recent years. Casual daters have plenty of options, but most opt to try hookup sites to find what (and who) they want.

Different sites cater to different tastes. A site’s speciality is not always immediately apparent. So it can be a challenge to find the right site for you. That’s where we come in. We’ve signed up for and tried the best hookup sites and apps for casual encounters to get some action.

Let’s dive into the reviews and ratings.

Click ↓ next to the name of the site to jump straight to the review.

Best Hookup Sites and Apps for Casual Dating in 2023

RankSiteBest For1.Adult FriendFinder Best overall hookup site2. BuddyBang Runner-up3.BeNaughty Best for flirtiest singles4.Ashley Madison Best for affairs5.Seeking Best for sugar baby/sugar daddy/mommy6.ALT Best for alternative and BDSM sex7.OKCupid Top choice for millennials8.Hinge Somewhat serious, but mostly FWB9.Zoosk Best for short-term dating10.Bumble Best for women11.Plenty of Fish Best for lots of options12.Tinder Most popular app13.Pure App Best for fantasy based14.Feeld Most open-minded singles15.Sex Messenger Best for anonymous hookups16.Reddit R4R Best completely free option

1.  Adult FriendFinder – Best overall hookup site

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★

Pros

Sex- and kink-positive
Any kink you can think of (practically)
Not difficult to find like-minded people

Cons

Can get expensive (i.e. Gold memberships)
Ad-heavy free version

Adult FriendFinder is one of the oldest hookup sites and remains one of the most popular. oldest and most popular hookup site. Although its name sound relatively innocent, you can think of it as being short for “Adult Friends with Benefit Finder.”

Adult FriendFinder caters primarily to people looking for FWB, swinging, non-monogamous relationships, threesomes, and other more experimental arrangements. Whether you’re looking for something with NSA (no strings attached), a one-night stand to spice up your marriage, or a quick fling, you likely won’t have to go too far to find someone who’s interested.

Once you create a profile on Adult FriendFinder, you can customize your search quite a bit to make your search more efficient and find these like-minded people more quickly.

Adult FriendFinder also has bonus content such as webcam shows and erotic stories. So, if you need a little warming up before connecting with someone, you’re covered. In some senses, you can think of Adult FriendFinder as a kind of interactive PornHub, as it really is home to a large community of kinky and sex-positive people.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$39.95 totalThree months$26.95/month ($80.85 total)One year$19.95/month ($239.40 total)

What Users Think About Adult FriendFinder

“I was on another site. Met a guy who told me about Adult FriendFinder (AFF). I signed up. Have been on AFF for a little over a year and a half. Have nothing but praise. When AFF works, it WORKS! For the most part, I have met some truly wonderful men. Local men, business men coming through my area, couples. Overwhelmingly positive experience and exactly what I was looking for: no strings, no drama, casual sex.”

Belinda S

Need a little more info before taking the plunge? Check out our in-depth Adult FriendFinder review.

2.  BuddyBang Runner-up

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★★

Pros

Responsive users
Straightforward people
Advanced search and filtering functions
Relatively affordable

Cons

Annoying ads with the free version
Can be hard to find anything besides hookups

As you might expect, BuddyBang is all about linking up people interested in no-strings-attached hookups or being friends with benefits. This no-judgment site operates like an express train to sex. Its goal is to be as simple as browse, chat, bang.

While you are not likely to find romance here, you will find plenty of passion. Horny adults flock to BuddyBang to chat and make new erotic connections. Ultimately, the goal is to arrange a meetup with a saucy stranger in your area. If you’re lucky, that one-night stand might turn into a longer-term arrangement.

With a relatively affordable monthly subscription and advanced search filters, getting laid on BuddyBang is fairly straightforward. In any case, it’s likely to be more efficient—and more bang for your buck (see what we did there)—than shelling out tons of cash for dinner dates that may lead nowhere.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$39.95 totalThree months$26.95/month ($80.85 total)One year$19.95/month ($239.40 total)

What Users Think About BuddyBang

“A lotta hookup sites out there, which means a lot of scams. Gotta be honest, at first I was skeptical of BuddyBang. Seemed like another fake site that just wanted your cash. But I was pleasantly surprised. More than that, I was very happy with my experience. I met a couple real girls here who, let’s just say, were down to get down. And that’s all I wanted. I wasn’t a creep. I kept it cool, wasn’t aggressive with messaging and it all worked. I recommend it!”

Chris745

3.  BeNaughty – Best for flirty singles

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★Customer service★★★★★

Pros

Multiple ways to connect
Sex- and kink-positive
Great for finding singles and couples
Cheap three-day trial

Cons

Users are often appearance-driven
Not great without a premium membership

BeNaughty unsurprisingly attracts people who are kinky and after a good time. I mean, it’s right there in the name. Fortunately, breaking the ice is easy as BeNaughty gives users many different ways to connect. You can browse the gallery or enter a naughty chat room for potential dates. When you find someone you like, you can send a wink, a message, or start a live one-on-one chat.

BeNaughty works well because it gets right to the point. Users are looking for fast fun, leaving little time for hot and cold games. They want a hookup and they usually want it ASAP. BeNaughty uses a Tinder-type function that’s geography based, which helps keep your searches relevant. After all, who’s trying to drive (or fly) hundreds or thousands of miles for a one-night-stand?

Open-minded and discreet, BeNaughty provides many filtering options that help streamline your search, whether that’s for singles or couples to join. By adjusting your searches and filters, you can find your ideal scenario and dispense with people who aren’t a good fit for you.

Membership LengthPriceThree day trial$1.05/dayOne month$27.01 totalThree months$15.15/month ($45.45 total)Six months$12.24/month ($73.44 total)

What Users Think About BeNaughty

“Here you can be selective. The choice of profiles is quite large. The girls are active, many of them are constantly online. There are those who only like online communication and do not want to go on dates. However, it is their choice. If you are interested in online flirting, it will be a lot of fun with this site. Some people want more, so I’m still looking for someone to go on a real date with me.”

Robert S

4.  Ashley Madison – Best for affairs

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★★

Pros

Free for women
Highly discreet
Judgment-free because most users are fine with infidelity

Cons

Not for the faint of heart when it comes to morals
Expensive for men to use (the Priority Man option)

Ashley Madison has the reputation of being a site for affairs and discreet married dating. Its slogan is literally “Life is short. Have an affair.” The brand has become notoriously in recent years for being a site for married people to flirt and hook up.

Since the site caters to people in relationships or looking to have sex with married people, Ashley Madison is generally a place where you don’t need to fear negative judgment. It’s a great site for anyone looking to add some excitement to their life and explore the world of extramarital affairs.

Ashley Madison is the first website dedicated to helping married people have affairs, and its highly committed to discretion. Despite the backlash and its somewhat negative reputation, this site remains popular and boasts a massive database that crisscrosses the globe.

Membership TierPriceBasic100 credits at $0.59/creditClassic500 credits at $0.34/creditElite1,000 credits at $0.29/credit

You message and live chat with users in exchange for credits. It’s about 5 credits to sent a message or 50 credits/hour to live chat. For more information about credits and other aspects of the site, see our full Ashley Madison review.

What Users Think About Ashley Madison

“As a woman, I can tell you that this site works. I’ve met and hooked up with a lot of great guys. However, I will say that since there are considerably more men than women on the site you have to make yourself stand out from the crowd. Women like to be wined and dined and brought on business trips, to a nice hotel, etc… Be patient, it works. I found a great guy who I have been hooking up with on a regular basis for over 2 years now and we are very happy with the arrangement.”

JennaK

5.  Seeking – Best for sugar relationships

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★Customer service★★★★

Pros

Very active community
Useful filtering options
Fairly thorough verification process

Cons

Inactive profiles remain visible
Gets expensive for men

Seeking may have undergone a brand transformation (fka Seeking Arrangement), but it still attracts a straightforward target audience: wealthy and experienced individuals seeking the young and attractive. This sugar daddy site is all about helping daddies and mommas find sugar babies or cubs for hookups.

There are many more women than men because the “sugar baby” focus attracts many young women to the site. In fact, Seeking claims to have four times the number of women than men in their database. The only real prerequisite for would-be sugar daddies is that they have money to throw around. They give priority to verified “elite members” who join with the sole intention of lavishing money and attention on would-be sugar babies.

While Seeking is a great site for beautiful young women looking for fun, attention, and a “daddy” to spoil them, it can be quite competitive for sugar babies. And the hopeless romantics out there are probably best avoiding sites such as Seeking in general. It’s much more geared toward hookups that may have a rather transaction-like feel.Women who’d like to meet a well-off older man also aren’t risking much with Seeking because it’s free for women seeking men.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$89.95/monthThree month$79.95/month ($239.85 total)Diamond (more premium features)$249.95/month

What Users Think About Seeking

“Came across them on Facebook and decided to spend a few bucks to find some men. Although not all the men were true to their description and some being scammers, it was pretty easy to find the genuinely interested ones from the fakes. It is a dating site for the wealthier crowd as we spend a lot of money but you can find a suitable candidate here.”

Brenda T

Still not sure or need more information? Check out our full Seeking review.

6.  ALT – Best for alternative relationships

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★Real profiles★★★Success rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★

Pros

Easily find people that share your kink
Lots of X-rated content to browse through
Live cams and shows

Cons

Too many fake profiles
Have to buy a premium account to get the most access

ALT is a full-on casual sex website. It’s not for anyone who is on the hunt for a serious relationship. This site is all about casual sex in every form to gratify any sex-seeker! The website’s community is made up of those who are into alternative bondage, who enjoy hooking up online, live, and in-person for sex dates.

It’s a dating site that caters to people who want to find alternative, BDSM, bondage, and fetish partners who can connect online and meet in person. ALT speaks to swingers, dominatrixes, and mistresses looking for power exchange.

ALT is the leading BDSM site, with almost 2 million members. You can easily customize your fetish and find someone who is into the same kinks as you! Remember that this site is all about kink, such as orgies, being humiliated, or being tortured, and not about vanilla sex. So, if you’re looking for just plain sex, opt for another option on this list.

Membership TierPriceSilver$19.95/monthGold$29.95/month

What Users Think About ALT

“Don’t listen to all the haters!!!! Alt.com is one of the best sites. Been using it in the past and it worked quite good. Nowadays I’d also try Casuasexonly.com and Fetlife.com. And there are also a few smaller sites that work but they are more ‘special niche sites’.”

Daniel

7. OKCupid – Best for millennials and young people

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★Customer service★★★★★

Pros

Vast user base of people
Find locals who are looking for casual sex and dating
Affordable

Cons

May find many looking for long-term relationships
Will have to answer quite a few questions to see matches

OKCupid is a mainstream dating app that caters to many different kinds of relationships. It provides a multitude of choices for millennials looking not just for long-term relationships but options for short-term relationships, casual dating, and hookups. All you have to do is set that as what you are looking for, and they match you to like-minded people!

This site gears toward a generally younger audience—the age group between 18-29. This site is also one of the most inclusive mainstream dating websites that includes many gender and orientation options, helping you zero in on the particular pool of choices you want!

OKCupid may be a mainstream dating app that includes finding long-term relationships, but given its wide range of options, filters, and preferences, it’s a great app for hookups and casual sex as well. Just be up-front and be prepared to meet a great bunch of locals looking for the same things as you.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$19.95 totalSix months$9.95/month ($59.70 total)

What Users Think About OKCupid

“OkCupid is a dating app worth checking out. For the most part I have been disappointed with my dating app experiences. I have been pleasantly surprised with the results from OkCupid. There seems to be an endless supply of genuine women interested in a relationship. After several weeks of using the app for free, I decided to become a subscriber. I have been satisfied with my decision.”

Robert S

8.  Hinge – Best for hybrid serious and FWB relationships

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★Customer service★★★★★

Pros

Popular with millennials
Matchmaking algorithm is great (apt for FWB)

Cons

Created for finding long-lasting relationships
May not find a large user base of casual sex enthusiasts

Hinge is a mainstream dating app that focuses on finding real romance—but it is also used to find casual sex and friends with benefits. The truth about Hinge is that it’s “designed to be deleted.”

But fear not! This app is incredibly popular with the younger crowd (18 to 29 years of age) and has filters to state the nature of the relationship you’re interested in. This setup is the best for friends with benefits because you have to answer questions about yourself and your preferences, which will bring you closer to meeting someone you share similar interests with and are attracted to!

Hinge is a great hookup app for those who want to find a casual relationship where you hook up with the same person a few times instead of just a one-night stand. Just be straight up with what you’re looking for—and you might just meet a new FWB with absolutely no strings attached.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$19.95 totalThree months$20.99 totalSix months$29.99 total

What Users Think About Hinge

“Hinge is amazing! I think the thing that I like about it is that if you don’t pay it limits you to 10 likes a day and so it’s more likely that people will pay attention to you rather than getting distracted by yet another profile. And everyone is more careful about who they pick so if you match you’re more likely to talk I think. It also does a great job of conversation prompts that go with photos or without. Definitely check it out.”

James B

9.  Zoosk – Best for short term dating

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★Customer service★★★★

Pros

Very active users
Used in over 80 countries
Diverse selection to find what you’re looking for

Cons

May not be the best site for casual sex
Additional features cost extra

Zoosk is a great short-term dating site that is internationally famous. It has a community of 35 million users in 80 different countries, and it is open to singles of all ages, races, religions, and sexual orientations—making it one of the most diverse casual dating apps.

This app may not be the best for casual hookups and one-night stands, but it is a good contender for short-term dating. If you’re in your early to mid-20s, you’ll find a great selection of singles who are interested in short-term or casual relationships.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$29.95 totalThree months$19.98/month ($59.94 total)Six months$12.49/month ($74.94 total)

What Users Think About Zoosk

“Satisfied with the outcome, pretty good dating site. I think the price is OK and I liked the option of pausing account, very useful when you’re trying to focus on one person. As we all know, it takes several attempts to meet someone you are really interested in.”

Ewa S

10.  Bumble – Safest for women

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★Customer service★★★★★

Pros

More women than men
Women initiate contact
Comprehensive and easy-to-use interface

Cons

Other relationships (friendships and business networking) get in the way of potentials

Bumble has gained a reputation for being different from most other mainstream dating and hookup apps. If you haven’t heard of this app already, Bumble is one of the first and only sites where women make the first move and get to screen potential men immediately. Men simply cannot reach out to any women unless they’ve initiated contact and interest.

It is catered towards and attracts more women than men looking to mingle or find networking opportunities, friends, or hookups! Even though it has a relatively positive and clean rep, it’s a great site for educated, good-looking men who are searching for successful, bold women.

Membership TierPricePremium$8.99/month

What Users Think About Bumble

“The Bumble app has an easy format to navigate and I like that women have to make the first contact. That Helped me out of my comfort zone. I liked that you can adjust your distance from possible matches.”

Leanne N

11.  Plenty of Fish – Best for lots of options

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★Customer service★★★★

Pros

Multiple search filters
Largest user base of profiles

Cons

May come across bots or fake accounts

Plenty of Fish has the largest user base. POF was launched in 2003, being one of the oldest dating sites. Since it’s free and easy to sign up, you’re going to be exposed to a lot of different types of people, looking for different things, so you’ll have to filter through them all.

Since it’s been around for a long time, it has gained a reputation as a matchmaker site that will ask questions about your family, career, and interests to match you with similar users. It’s catered for people who want to dip their toes into dating and hookup sites to explore options.

Plenty of Fish may or may not have people looking for casual sex, depending on your luck. It’s a matchmaker site that is geared more for a long-term commitment. So you have to be prepared to screen different kinds of people.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$19.99/monthThree months$9.80/month ($29.40/total)One year$5.95/month ($71.40 total)

What Users Think About Plenty of Fish

“Plenty of catfish and foreigners who can’t speak English. However, even if you’re not a paid subscriber you can opt in for only paid subscribers. The site also provides an option for voice calls through the app. I’m going to try the site out for a month or so, then may upgrade to being a paid subscriber. POF has really improved its website since I was on it a year ago. Have fun and meet someone!”

Kathleen M

12.  Tinder – Most popular app

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★Real profiles★★★Success rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★

Pros

Best starter app for quick sex
Lots of escorts

Cons

Lots of fake profiles
Very superficial and appearance-focused

You didn’t think this list was going to end without this sex gem of an app, did you? Tinder is the most widely known hookup app of this generation. It has an infamous rep for finding casual sex ASAP.

Tinder caters to men and women looking to get laid based on appearance. It’s known for its classic swiping left to reject and swiping right to like someone’s profile. If you’re looking for sex, Tinder has a huge user base and a large number of locals, meaning you can probably secure a sex date tonight—but the catch is that your profile needs to stand out. If you’re not conventionally attractive, you’re going to struggle to find dates.

For men who can’t seem to find dates, Tinder has a large user base of escorts who will private message their rates. If you’re horny and want it—then maybe you can meet a potential escort on Tinder.

Membership Length/TierPriceLimited SwipesFreeOne month$9.99 total if you’re under 30One month$19.99 total if you’re over 30

What Users Think About Tinder

“I’ve been using tinder for quite some time and I really enjoy it! I travel a lot and t’s great way to meet new people. Tinder has a feature called Face To Face you can use to video chat within the app. Tinder has on-demand safety features via Noonlight, which offers a Timeline feature where users can share first date details on their Timelines, like who they’re meeting, when and where. Users can also discreetly contact emergency services via Noonlight.”

Sophia F

13.  Pure App – Best for fantasy based hookups

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★Real profiles★★★★Success rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★

Pros

Profiles, messages, and photos shared will disappear once you’re done
Starting up is easy: post a photo and sentence
Embraces individuality and authentic fantasies

Cons

Only popular in major cities

Pure App was created for shameless and judgment-free fantasy and desire-based dating. This app is purely for NSA affairs and is completely secretive and anonymous. It encourages its users to be whoever they choose to be and still be themselves.

It caters to people who have wild fantasies or desires that aren’t celebrated on mainstream dating and hookup apps. It allows your individuality to shine through—choosing your gender and sexuality—and providing guaranteed privacy and safety to video chat and meet whoever shares the same fantasies as you.

Pure App uses your GPS location on your phone to find other Pure users looking for some NSA action. You just have to post a photo and an up-front headline and wait to see if anyone close is interested. When you’re done, your profile will vanish, along with all your messages and photos—no need to worry about deactivating or privacy issues.

Membership LengthPriceOne week$14.99 totalOne month$19.99 total

What Users Think About Pure App

“I am a 25 year old attractive woman, I have never been on a site before however After almost a year of dating and taking things slowly and 4 months of not being interested enough to take things further, I broke and downloaded pure. Downloaded Wednesday, Thursday (yesterday) spontaneously arranged to meet a really really attractive guy who spent a few great hours with me. We got along really well. I also had a video chat with a really attractive couple who I’ll be meeting soon. I’m speaking to other really attractive guys as well.”

Abi S

14.  Feeld Best for adventurous singles

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★Success rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★

Pros

One of the largest open-minded communities worldwide
Sex-positive and promotes ethical dating choices

Cons

Premium version is not available on Android
Must have a Facebook account to verify your identity during sign-up

Feeld is a hookup app for couples and singles to explore their kinks and desires in a no-judgement atmosphere.

It includes couples’ accounts where you and your partner can date a lover or meet someone for a threesome. It’s inclusive for all genders and sexual orientations. Overall, it’s a sex-positive space for anyone looking to explore beyond “the norm” in today’s society.

Feeld prides itself on being responsible and ethical. It connects people with like-minded folk and encourages curious monogamous couples to link with partners who are also interested. It is a safe space that allows couples to explore their desires in the most honest way possible.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$14.99 totalThree months$29.98 total

What Users Think About Feeld

“It’s called the ‘Tinder for threesomes’ for a reason. I’ll let you do the imagining.”

Jon R

15.  Sex Messenger – Best for anonymous hookups

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★Success rate★★★★Customer service★★★★

Pros

Safe way to send and receive nudes
Anonymity is key
Goal is to meet up for anonymous sex—NSA!

Cons

Need to pay for a premium account to access live chat or live cams

Sex Messenger is an anonymous instant messaging app—like WhatsApp or Facebook Messenger. But you never share your name because it’s meant to be discreet and only for sexting and trading nudes.

This app is an adult social network that is much more than an online sex chat. It caters to people who want to connect with other people who want to engage in sex and dirty talk, and fulfill each other’s sexual fantasies. Instant messaging on this app and posting blog entries will help you gain the attention you want from like-minded people.

All members must verify their accounts, so this weeds out fake profiles, scammers, and bots. Members can contribute to the website through Sex Messenger’s forums, chats, group sections, sex stories, and blogs. It’s all anonymous and fully discrete. This app is a great way to sext, increase sexual tension, and finally meet up to do the deed.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$14.95 total

What Users Think About Sex Messenger

“I’m recently single and wanted to have a little fun but was skeptical about trying something online. You hear about the horror stories. I found Sex Messenger and immediately thought SCAM. But I gave it a shot and found a couple fun guys within a couple weeks. I didn’t need to renew my membership.”

Olivia B

16.  Reddit R4R – Best completely free option

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★Real profiles★★★★Success rate★★★★Customer service★★★

Pros

Free
No membership needed
Lots of daily interactions and hits

Cons

Hard to stand out
Can’t pay to boost your posts
Mostly guys

Reddit R4R is one of the best options for browse casual sex options for free. If you’re looking for a hookup but don’t want to sign up, post photos of yourself, and write out a bio to describe who you are and what you want . . . you found the site for you!

This site works as a personals subreddit. It works like any other subreddit. Anyone can post—no photos, no personal information needed! All you have to do is list some things about yourself and the type of person you’re looking for. And then you wait to see if anyone responds to your post.

Reddit R4R is free, so all you have to do is download the Reddit app, and you don’t need to worry about spending money. If you want to be a trusted member and not get blocked, just follow the posting rules! Users love this site to get laid because it’s easy to use, free, and starts an instant conversation with like-minded people.

Membership TierPriceUnlimitedFree

What Users Think About Reddit R4R

“Look, it’s Reddit. You ‘get what you pay for,’ but it’s cool to scroll the profiles and chat for free. Too many guys but I definitely found and met up with a couple hotties.”

Jack P

Hookup Site Guide

Still on the fence about whether or not you should start using hookup apps? Or maybe you’re already using them but want some more information? Check out this useful guide to answer any lingering questions you may have and walk away with some important safety tips about casual sex.

What Makes a Hookup Site Good?

It’s important to note that different sites cater to different kinds of people. So before creating a profile on any old hookup site, read the reviews to make sure it meets your needs.

Here are a few tips to find the best hookup site specific to you:

If you have a particular kink or preference, keep an eye out for it. (example: Looking for discreet affairs? Ashley Madison is the one for you!)
Make sure the size of the user base is relatively large. More options mean a better chance of finding someone to hook up with.
Find a site that allows users to be up-front about what they want. Usually, apps have preferences, and you can set yours to “casual relationship” or “hookup.”
Make sure the customer service contact information is front and center. You shouldn’t have to go on an expedition to contact the site.

FAQs About Hookup Sites

Q: Are hookup sites safe?

Like any online dating platform, reputable hookup sites have embedded safety features that still require user discretion. It can be dangerous if you don’t take proper safety measures. Generally, these sites and apps regulate safety by banning bots and scammers and have options to report any bad or suspicious behavior. So if you’re planning on joining, be aware and try your best not to be too gullible—you can never be sure who you will come across online!

Q: Are there any completely free hookup sites?

It sucks that most dating apps and casual sex apps require you to subscribe to get optimum results. But sites like Reddit R4R and Craigslist Activities offer a free platform to chat, flirt, and arrange sex dates. But the only downside is that there is no moderation and you won’t be talking to a verified profile and have to be extra cautious.

Q: What hookup sites are free for women?

The reality is that dating apps make it very easy for women to find sex. Most high-rated dating sites offer women free memberships (mostly to balance out the male/female ratio on their site). Sex sites that are free for women include Bumble, OkCupid, Tinder, Seeking, Hinge, Her, and Pure.

Q: What is the best LGBTQ+ option?

Though there are a few options, only two rise to the top. HER is the best for women seeking women and Grindr is best for men seeking for men. These two sites also cater to non-binary people.

Final Verdict

If you’re looking for some action tonight, welcome to the world of casual sex sites and apps.

The best hookup sites are on top for a reason—everyone on there is eager to find sex and casual flings just like you! More than mainstream dating apps that cater to a plethora of things such as long-term dating, friendships, and so on, hookup apps are catered only towards sex and NSA fun!

The best hookup site is Adult FriendFinder (AFF) followed closely by BuddyBang. AFF emphasizes anonymity, safety, a massive user base, and a brand name that is verified. Most people on this site are looking for a good time with so many different types of kinks and fantasies. So what are you waiting for?

Hopefully, this list gives you an idea of what sex app is the best for you to get started on today.

Read More

Best Hookup Sites and Apps for Adult Dating in 2023Corvelay Mediaon January 20, 2023 at 8:04 am Read More »

Most of the Chicago Cubs free agent signings have this in commonVincent Pariseon January 20, 2023 at 5:44 pm

The Chicago Cubs were terrible in 2022. Things were awful at the start to the point where a solid second half didn’t even slightly get them close to the playoff race. They went into this off-season with a clear plan that would allow them to compete in 2023.

It is still hard to see them being one of the six best teams in the National League but they will fight for that six-to-eight range if pretty much everything goes their way. They also have the advantage of playing in the National League Central which is one of the lesser divisions in the league.

They hope that the free agent signings that they made are able to help them in their quest to become a much better team this year. For a lot of the free-agent decisions that they made this year, there seems to be one common theme.

Most of the signings that they made have one thing in common. Dansby Swanson, Cody Bellinger, Eric Hosmer, and Trey Mancini are all World Series champions.

The Chicago Cubs are bringing in some impressive players for 2023 and beyond.

Swanson won it with the Atlanta Braves in 2021, Bellinger won it with the Los Angeles Dodgers in 2020, Hosmer won it with the Kansas City Royals in 2015, and Mancini won it with the Houston Astros in 2022.

With this group, there is a lot of experience with multiple different organizations that did things much differently. The younger players on the Cubs are going to learn a lot from these guys as they bring a very unique perspective to the group.

Since Anthony Rizzo, Javier Baez, Willson Contreras, and Kris Bryant amongst others are all gone, Kyle Hendricks is the only playoff battle-tested player left so these new guys can be very valuable.

A guy like Dansby Swanson had elite production in 2022 which is why he comes to the Cubs on a very lucrative contract. Bringing recent World Series experience along with that resume of regular season production will really help the team.

These aren’t the only four moves that the Cubs made but it is notable that they are the four biggest moves and they are all champions. It may be a coincidence but it also might be something that the Cubs valued when coming up with their off-season plans.

Read More

Most of the Chicago Cubs free agent signings have this in commonVincent Pariseon January 20, 2023 at 5:44 pm Read More »

Olivia Lilley prepares to move on from Prop

Olivia Lilley Credit: Matthew Gregory Hollis

When Olivia Lilley took on the job of artistic director at Prop Thtr (one of the oldest off-Loop theaters in the city) in 2018, her DIY/punk aesthetic seemed like a good fit for taking the company into the next era. Even before assuming the AD role, Lilley had made a mark with site-specific, immersive productions with her own company The Runaways, including a living-room tour of her version of Faust. She’d also presented work in the annual Rhinofest, Chicago’s oldest running celebration of fringe and experimental new work, which was at the time coproduced by Prop and Curious Theatre Branch.

Yet as she told Reader contributor KT Hawbaker in 2019, Lilley wanted to preserve the Prop spirit of experimentation (she’s a big proponent of devised work, where an ensemble creates the text in collaboration with the director) while moving the company toward a greater sense of stability for artists. As she said to Hawbaker, “When I got here, everybody was friends and now they’re more like colleagues. . . . They were resistant to clear contracts or even nailing down job responsibilities. Over the past year, everybody has really come around to valuing organization and putting that extra effort in towards communication.”

A little over a year after that interview, Prop decided to give up its longtime two-venue space on North Elston in Avondale in the wake of the COVID-19 shutdown. Now Lilley is also ready to move on from Prop. And while her journey seems to be pointing her away from theater in general, the future of Prop is also on a new trajectory. 

When I caught up with her earlier this week, Lilley mentioned a few new plans. One is that she’s focusing more on film than theater. A script she wrote was selected for the inaugural Independent Producers Lab with Full Spectrum Features in 2020.

“It was a nine-month crash course in indie filmmaking,” says Lilley. “Basically, the whole experience was extremely positive for me artistically. Everything I liked about producing theater was like more vivid and specific and higher stakes in film.” That led to Lilley pursuing an MFA in screenwriting from the University of Nebraska Omaha. (She is currently adjunct faculty in DePaul’s School of Cinematic Arts.) 

But it’s not just the new opportunities in film that prompted Lilley’s decision. She has questions about the models used to run storefront theater overall—indeed, about the future of arts in America itself. In fact, she’s launching a new podcast in March called . . . The Future of Arts in America.

“Every episode I will basically interview an artist-producer or artist-entrepreneur of some kind who’s trying to envision some new model, whether it’s in film, visual arts, theater, performance, what have you,” says Lilley. “I’ve done a lot of different kinds of attempts at coalition building, which have had varying degrees of success throughout the years. I think the big problem, though, is that no two storefront companies are alike. Every single storefront has a board, they have some kind of staff, they have artists, but every single one of them operates like it’s night and day.”

The last project under Lilley’s tenure at Prop will be Panther Women: An Army for the Liberation by India Nicole Burton, which will be coproduced this spring with Perceptions Theatre in a south-side location. Originally announced for fall of 2022, Panther Women is, as the title suggests, a portrait of women within the Black Panthers. Perceptions artistic director Myesha-Tiara will direct. It’s slated as a rolling world premiere with the National New Play Network, a nonprofit coalition of theaters focused on new work, which Prop helped cofound in 1998. Lilley notes that Burton is one of her best friends, and that an earlier version of the play was in the 2020 Rhinofest, just before the shutdown.

Perceptions and Prop may have different missions, but both theaters focused on providing paid work for artists during the shutdown. “One of the things that I am really proud of Prop for having accomplished is that after lockdown, we really started to allocate our resources in a way where people were all getting compensated a lot better for less work,” says Lilley. The company also produced online festivals and started a commissioning program for new work. One of those commissions resulted in a world premiere production of Hallie Paladino’s play The Cleanup [produced at the Athenaeum in October 2022].

Lilley will officially step down from the artistic director’s position on June 1, but she’ll stick around on the Prop board through the end of the year as the company figures out next steps. “We will be doing a strategic plan where we really look at the structures that created my position and try and figure out: how do we really question all of our assumptions and build potentially a new model of leadership—or fold the company.”

That last part sounds ominous, but Lilley says, “I think it’s really important to state that this is not like I had a terrible time and I’m leaving angrily in any shape or form. I deeply love these people. But I definitely have questions about the sustainability of this particular storefront, but also storefront theater in general as we know it.”

Ken-Matt Martin takes the (temporary) reins at Baltimore Center Stage

As I wrote in the Reader year in review issue last month, the future of Victory Gardens remains cloudy. (The company’s website has been down for over a month.) But former Victory Gardens artistic director Ken-Matt Martin has accepted a post as interim artistic director for Baltimore Center Stage. He’ll be taking over from Stephanie Ybarra, who held the post for five years and is moving over to a program officer position with the Mellon Foundation. Martin’s production of Nia Vardalos’s Tiny Beautiful Things opens at Baltimore Center Stage in March.

Tragedy in the comedy community

The transition from 2022 to 2023 has not been entirely kind to Chicago’s comedy artists. On December 16, longtime performer and improv teacher Noah Gregoropoulos, who guided the early careers of Rachel Dratch, David Koechner, Tim Meadows, and Adam McKay (among many others), died of cancer at 63. In a Sun-Times obituary by Darel Jevens, McKay said, “No one was smarter, funnier and no one loved improvisation more. No one. This is a big loss.” 

This past Tuesday, January 17, former Second City performer Michael Lehrer, who had ALS, chose to die in Portland, Oregon, “with dignity on his own terms,” according to his life partner Colette Montague. Lehrer was 44. Even while the disease took its toll, Lehrer continued to perform comic monologues onstage from his wheelchair. As Jevens noted in his Sun-Times obit, one of his lines was “I have ALS . . . One question: Where the fuck did all that ice bucket money go?” Lehrer was also a regular on the comedy podcast Kill Tony.

And on Monday, January 9, Elizabeth McQuern died unexpectedly at her home. McQuern was a photographer and videographer who specialized in capturing comedians, as well as a longtime producer for Chicago Underground Comedy at Beat Kitchen.

There are GoFundMe pages for Gregoropoulos’s widow, Linda Orr; Lehrer’s son Colin; and for McQuern’s husband, Bryan, and their son, Champ. A Chicago memorial for McQuern is planned for Saturday, January 28, 1 PM, at Firehouse Studios, 1545 West Rosemont.


Read More

Olivia Lilley prepares to move on from Prop Read More »

Olivia Lilley prepares to move on from PropKerry Reidon January 20, 2023 at 4:00 pm

Olivia Lilley Credit: Matthew Gregory Hollis

When Olivia Lilley took on the job of artistic director at Prop Thtr (one of the oldest off-Loop theaters in the city) in 2018, her DIY/punk aesthetic seemed like a good fit for taking the company into the next era. Even before assuming the AD role, Lilley had made a mark with site-specific, immersive productions with her own company The Runaways, including a living-room tour of her version of Faust. She’d also presented work in the annual Rhinofest, Chicago’s oldest running celebration of fringe and experimental new work, which was at the time coproduced by Prop and Curious Theatre Branch.

Yet as she told Reader contributor KT Hawbaker in 2019, Lilley wanted to preserve the Prop spirit of experimentation (she’s a big proponent of devised work, where an ensemble creates the text in collaboration with the director) while moving the company toward a greater sense of stability for artists. As she said to Hawbaker, “When I got here, everybody was friends and now they’re more like colleagues. . . . They were resistant to clear contracts or even nailing down job responsibilities. Over the past year, everybody has really come around to valuing organization and putting that extra effort in towards communication.”

A little over a year after that interview, Prop decided to give up its longtime two-venue space on North Elston in Avondale in the wake of the COVID-19 shutdown. Now Lilley is also ready to move on from Prop. And while her journey seems to be pointing her away from theater in general, the future of Prop is also on a new trajectory. 

When I caught up with her earlier this week, Lilley mentioned a few new plans. One is that she’s focusing more on film than theater. A script she wrote was selected for the inaugural Independent Producers Lab with Full Spectrum Features in 2020.

“It was a nine-month crash course in indie filmmaking,” says Lilley. “Basically, the whole experience was extremely positive for me artistically. Everything I liked about producing theater was like more vivid and specific and higher stakes in film.” That led to Lilley pursuing an MFA in screenwriting from the University of Nebraska Omaha. (She is currently adjunct faculty in DePaul’s School of Cinematic Arts.) 

But it’s not just the new opportunities in film that prompted Lilley’s decision. She has questions about the models used to run storefront theater overall—indeed, about the future of arts in America itself. In fact, she’s launching a new podcast in March called . . . The Future of Arts in America.

“Every episode I will basically interview an artist-producer or artist-entrepreneur of some kind who’s trying to envision some new model, whether it’s in film, visual arts, theater, performance, what have you,” says Lilley. “I’ve done a lot of different kinds of attempts at coalition building, which have had varying degrees of success throughout the years. I think the big problem, though, is that no two storefront companies are alike. Every single storefront has a board, they have some kind of staff, they have artists, but every single one of them operates like it’s night and day.”

The last project under Lilley’s tenure at Prop will be Panther Women: An Army for the Liberation by India Nicole Burton, which will be coproduced this spring with Perceptions Theatre in a south-side location. Originally announced for fall of 2022, Panther Women is, as the title suggests, a portrait of women within the Black Panthers. Perceptions artistic director Myesha-Tiara will direct. It’s slated as a rolling world premiere with the National New Play Network, a nonprofit coalition of theaters focused on new work, which Prop helped cofound in 1998. Lilley notes that Burton is one of her best friends, and that an earlier version of the play was in the 2020 Rhinofest, just before the shutdown.

Perceptions and Prop may have different missions, but both theaters focused on providing paid work for artists during the shutdown. “One of the things that I am really proud of Prop for having accomplished is that after lockdown, we really started to allocate our resources in a way where people were all getting compensated a lot better for less work,” says Lilley. The company also produced online festivals and started a commissioning program for new work. One of those commissions resulted in a world premiere production of Hallie Paladino’s play The Cleanup [produced at the Athenaeum in October 2022].

Lilley will officially step down from the artistic director’s position on June 1, but she’ll stick around on the Prop board through the end of the year as the company figures out next steps. “We will be doing a strategic plan where we really look at the structures that created my position and try and figure out: how do we really question all of our assumptions and build potentially a new model of leadership—or fold the company.”

That last part sounds ominous, but Lilley says, “I think it’s really important to state that this is not like I had a terrible time and I’m leaving angrily in any shape or form. I deeply love these people. But I definitely have questions about the sustainability of this particular storefront, but also storefront theater in general as we know it.”

Ken-Matt Martin takes the (temporary) reins at Baltimore Center Stage

As I wrote in the Reader year in review issue last month, the future of Victory Gardens remains cloudy. (The company’s website has been down for over a month.) But former Victory Gardens artistic director Ken-Matt Martin has accepted a post as interim artistic director for Baltimore Center Stage. He’ll be taking over from Stephanie Ybarra, who held the post for five years and is moving over to a program officer position with the Mellon Foundation. Martin’s production of Nia Vardalos’s Tiny Beautiful Things opens at Baltimore Center Stage in March.

Tragedy in the comedy community

The transition from 2022 to 2023 has not been entirely kind to Chicago’s comedy artists. On December 16, longtime performer and improv teacher Noah Gregoropoulos, who guided the early careers of Rachel Dratch, David Koechner, Tim Meadows, and Adam McKay (among many others), died of cancer at 63. In a Sun-Times obituary by Darel Jevens, McKay said, “No one was smarter, funnier and no one loved improvisation more. No one. This is a big loss.” 

This past Tuesday, January 17, former Second City performer Michael Lehrer, who had ALS, chose to die in Portland, Oregon, “with dignity on his own terms,” according to his life partner Colette Montague. Lehrer was 44. Even while the disease took its toll, Lehrer continued to perform comic monologues onstage from his wheelchair. As Jevens noted in his Sun-Times obit, one of his lines was “I have ALS . . . One question: Where the fuck did all that ice bucket money go?” Lehrer was also a regular on the comedy podcast Kill Tony.

And on Monday, January 9, Elizabeth McQuern died unexpectedly at her home. McQuern was a photographer and videographer who specialized in capturing comedians, as well as a longtime producer for Chicago Underground Comedy at Beat Kitchen.

There are GoFundMe pages for Gregoropoulos’s widow, Linda Orr; Lehrer’s son Colin; and for McQuern’s husband, Bryan, and their son, Champ. A Chicago memorial for McQuern is planned for Saturday, January 28, 1 PM, at Firehouse Studios, 1545 West Rosemont.


Read More

Olivia Lilley prepares to move on from PropKerry Reidon January 20, 2023 at 4:00 pm Read More »

Chicago Blackhawks get a historical win in PhiladelphiaVincent Pariseon January 20, 2023 at 2:56 pm

The Chicago Blackhawks have been one of the worst teams in the league this season but have been on an absolute roll lately. On Thursday night, looked to keep their winning ways going.

The Philadelphia Flyers aren’t having the best season ever but a recent surge has them feeling good about their game at the moment as well. When the season is over, both of them will be on the outside looking in.

The Chicago Blackhawks haven’t won in Philadelphia in multiple decades. 1996 was the last time it happened. Of course, this only includes the regular season as the Hawks won the Stanley Cup there in 2010.

It is just one of those stats that is a little bit surprising for anyone that watches hockey regularly. How does a team go a quarter of a century without beating a specific team on the road? Finally, they got it done.

The Chicago Blackhawks earned a huge win on the road in Philadelphia.

At 8:52 of the first period, Morgan Frost gave the Philadelphia Flyers a 1-0 lead making it seem like they would keep the streak going. It was not the way that Chicago mapped out the start of the game.

That would be the only goal scored by the Flyers in this one though. From there, Jonathan Toews and the Hawks scored four unanswered goals and won the game by a final score of 4-1. That happened to be the same score of the game they last won in Philly in 1996.

Toews got the game tied and then Reese Johnson, Tyler Johnson, and Philipp Kurashev scored one each after that. Getting the win was an outstanding group effort.

The Blackhawks are in the Connor Bedard sweepstakes right now but all of this winning does decrease their odds. They want to feel good about themselves but it would be nice if the teams around them in the standings won just a little bit more too.

Next in line for the Blackhawks is the rival St. Louis Blues on Saturday night. Neither team is where they want to be right now but this is always a premier NHL matchup just because of the two teams playing. These are the types of matchups that the players get up a little more for.

Read More

Chicago Blackhawks get a historical win in PhiladelphiaVincent Pariseon January 20, 2023 at 2:56 pm Read More »

Norwegian electronicist Deathprod embraces a more minimal minimalism on Compositions

Norwegian artist Helge Sten, who makes music as Deathprod, trades not in massive dynamic shifts but in uniformly gray ambient soundscapes. He typically uses a variegated array of homemade electronics, samplers, out-of-date processors, and other audio detritus that echo, hiss, and throb like futuristic boilers arduously coming online while retro steampunk conglomerations cough and doppler away. His new album, Compositions, doesn’t radically differ from this formula, but it seems like an advancement or at least a distillation. Sten’s 2019 album, Occulting Disk, spread grainy smears of sound across monumental tracks in an assault of brown noise. Compositions, by contrast, pares his sound back to its essence. Its 17 compact pieces feel like they’re constantly on the verge of diffusing and collapsing into particles of dust. Sten called Occulting Disk an antifascist ritual, but Compositions seems more like an evocation of cyberpunk exhaustion and emptiness—it doesn’t blare defiance but rather crawls and scrapes into a resolute, alien form. Compositions is dreamy, poetic, and sad, but at the same time it rejects such emotions in favor of staring blankly at microscopic fractures in a tall, bleak wall.

Deathprod’s Compositions is available through Bandcamp.


Read More

Norwegian electronicist Deathprod embraces a more minimal minimalism on Compositions Read More »

Norwegian electronicist Deathprod embraces a more minimal minimalism on CompositionsNoah Berlatskyon January 20, 2023 at 12:00 pm

Norwegian artist Helge Sten, who makes music as Deathprod, trades not in massive dynamic shifts but in uniformly gray ambient soundscapes. He typically uses a variegated array of homemade electronics, samplers, out-of-date processors, and other audio detritus that echo, hiss, and throb like futuristic boilers arduously coming online while retro steampunk conglomerations cough and doppler away. His new album, Compositions, doesn’t radically differ from this formula, but it seems like an advancement or at least a distillation. Sten’s 2019 album, Occulting Disk, spread grainy smears of sound across monumental tracks in an assault of brown noise. Compositions, by contrast, pares his sound back to its essence. Its 17 compact pieces feel like they’re constantly on the verge of diffusing and collapsing into particles of dust. Sten called Occulting Disk an antifascist ritual, but Compositions seems more like an evocation of cyberpunk exhaustion and emptiness—it doesn’t blare defiance but rather crawls and scrapes into a resolute, alien form. Compositions is dreamy, poetic, and sad, but at the same time it rejects such emotions in favor of staring blankly at microscopic fractures in a tall, bleak wall.

Deathprod’s Compositions is available through Bandcamp.


Read More

Norwegian electronicist Deathprod embraces a more minimal minimalism on CompositionsNoah Berlatskyon January 20, 2023 at 12:00 pm Read More »

Say yes to Bendición Dry Bar

At this point in the month, our best intentions around New Year’s resolutions can seem a little less sparkly than they did at 12:01 AM on New Year’s Day. Is your Dry January turning into a real struggle? It can be difficult to change entrenched patterns in our lives and move through to a new way of being.

In the midwest, in winter, it’s hard to find a friendly community as an adult without alcohol. Most of our social lives revolve around alcohol-centered spaces. Think about it: You want to catch up with a friend? You head to a bar to grab a drink and chat. You want to see live music or a play? There’s always a beer or a glass of wine in the lobby or at the bar. Even weekend daytime meals can become mimosa-soaked affairs.

To combat this, Cristina Torres, the owner of Bendición Dry Bar, is forging a new path among the sober and sober curious. Torres went looking for a like-minded community when she got sober in 2020 because so many of her social interactions and friend time revolved around alcohol-centered spaces. She was faced with deciding between spending time with friends in those spaces and feeling like she wanted to drink, or not hanging out with friends at all.

“When I first got sober, I realized I had nowhere to really go. I found myself sitting on one of the benches by the eagle statue in Logan Square in mid-February at like 8 at night. I was like, ‘I don’t want to go home, but I also don’t want to go to a bar because I know I’m going to drink. I can’t go to a café, because most of them close at 4 or 5. There’s not another space for people like me,’” Torres recounted.

“Bendición was born out of a need for an alternative to the usual Chicago nightlife options currently available,” she continued. “On a cold February night, walking home from the bar crying at 2 AM, I knew there had to be something better for us—somewhere we didn’t feel excluded for not drinking, somewhere it didn’t feel awkward asking for a mocktail, somewhere we didn’t feel alone.”

Torres turned to Instagram and found a growing group of like-minded sober and sober curious folks in Chicago and across the country. She also started playing around with making zero-proof cocktails and creating sober options on menus in partnership with local bars like The Native, where she was a regular when she was still drinking.

“At The Native, I asked if for dry January in 2021 they would be interested in me providing recipes and products for nonalcoholic cocktails for their bartenders to make. We didn’t end up doing it until February that year, but it was successful, and they saw a big boost in their sales and people coming out just for that. It was such a hit that they added zero-proof cocktails to their regular menu,” Torres explained.

From there, she launched Bendición with a successful $15,000 GoFundMe and started doing pop-up sober events at spaces on the west side. She eventually partnered with The Succulent City, a plant shop, moving into the back of their storefront at 2540 W. Division in Humboldt Park. She then started the work of creating both Bendición, her zero-proof bottle shop, and a vibrant sober community. Over the last year, she has turned Bedición’s half of the space into a cozy and inviting spot where the sober and sober curious can come and sample zero-proof libations from her shop. They also have regular programming of fun social events like the Blessed variety show, Dungeons and Dragons night, and queer and BIPOC sober socials. Torres also wants to encourage people to just come and hang out.

“It’s super easy for people who have stopped drinking or are in recovery to self-isolate and feel like they’re by themselves. When they get sober, people lose friends because they’re not going out drinking anymore. I wanted to make a space where people know that they’re not alone.”

Besides her own sobriety, Torres has a very personal reason for creating this sober community, “In December of 2021, one of my really good friends—James—passed away after he was hit by a drunk driver. In our friend group, he was somebody who never said ‘no.’ When he set his mind to something, he did it. So to honor his memory, I’ve been working on saying ‘yes’ to things in my life. When he passed, the idea for the bar had kind of started and I was like, ‘OK, this is super scary and something I never, ever thought that I could do, so let’s see how far I can take it.’ That’s what James would have wanted.”

Bendición Dry Bar & Non-Alcoholic Bottle Shop2540 W. Divisionbendicionbar.com

While the dry bar doesn’t have regular nonalcoholic bar service yet, they host a busy schedule of events and have ample space for hangouts and private events. The shop part of the space features one of the largest selections of zero-proof beverages in the city and is constantly adding new products. While they don’t have CBD or marijuana-based beverages yet, they are working on adding them soon for the “California sober” set. Anyone who is interested in trying zero-proof beverages or wants to find a sober social community is welcome. 

In addition to her own space, Torres recommends the Chicago Sober Society and their (seasonally updated) Chicago Non-Alcoholic Beverage Guide as resources for finding zero-proof beer and cocktails on menus throughout the city and suburbs.

Read More

Say yes to Bendición Dry Bar Read More »

Say yes to Bendición Dry BarJT Newmanon January 19, 2023 at 11:14 pm

At this point in the month, our best intentions around New Year’s resolutions can seem a little less sparkly than they did at 12:01 AM on New Year’s Day. Is your Dry January turning into a real struggle? It can be difficult to change entrenched patterns in our lives and move through to a new way of being.

In the midwest, in winter, it’s hard to find a friendly community as an adult without alcohol. Most of our social lives revolve around alcohol-centered spaces. Think about it: You want to catch up with a friend? You head to a bar to grab a drink and chat. You want to see live music or a play? There’s always a beer or a glass of wine in the lobby or at the bar. Even weekend daytime meals can become mimosa-soaked affairs.

To combat this, Cristina Torres, the owner of Bendición Dry Bar, is forging a new path among the sober and sober curious. Torres went looking for a like-minded community when she got sober in 2020 because so many of her social interactions and friend time revolved around alcohol-centered spaces. She was faced with deciding between spending time with friends in those spaces and feeling like she wanted to drink, or not hanging out with friends at all.

“When I first got sober, I realized I had nowhere to really go. I found myself sitting on one of the benches by the eagle statue in Logan Square in mid-February at like 8 at night. I was like, ‘I don’t want to go home, but I also don’t want to go to a bar because I know I’m going to drink. I can’t go to a café, because most of them close at 4 or 5. There’s not another space for people like me,’” Torres recounted.

“Bendición was born out of a need for an alternative to the usual Chicago nightlife options currently available,” she continued. “On a cold February night, walking home from the bar crying at 2 AM, I knew there had to be something better for us—somewhere we didn’t feel excluded for not drinking, somewhere it didn’t feel awkward asking for a mocktail, somewhere we didn’t feel alone.”

Torres turned to Instagram and found a growing group of like-minded sober and sober curious folks in Chicago and across the country. She also started playing around with making zero-proof cocktails and creating sober options on menus in partnership with local bars like The Native, where she was a regular when she was still drinking.

“At The Native, I asked if for dry January in 2021 they would be interested in me providing recipes and products for nonalcoholic cocktails for their bartenders to make. We didn’t end up doing it until February that year, but it was successful, and they saw a big boost in their sales and people coming out just for that. It was such a hit that they added zero-proof cocktails to their regular menu,” Torres explained.

From there, she launched Bendición with a successful $15,000 GoFundMe and started doing pop-up sober events at spaces on the west side. She eventually partnered with The Succulent City, a plant shop, moving into the back of their storefront at 2540 W. Division in Humboldt Park. She then started the work of creating both Bendición, her zero-proof bottle shop, and a vibrant sober community. Over the last year, she has turned Bedición’s half of the space into a cozy and inviting spot where the sober and sober curious can come and sample zero-proof libations from her shop. They also have regular programming of fun social events like the Blessed variety show, Dungeons and Dragons night, and queer and BIPOC sober socials. Torres also wants to encourage people to just come and hang out.

“It’s super easy for people who have stopped drinking or are in recovery to self-isolate and feel like they’re by themselves. When they get sober, people lose friends because they’re not going out drinking anymore. I wanted to make a space where people know that they’re not alone.”

Besides her own sobriety, Torres has a very personal reason for creating this sober community, “In December of 2021, one of my really good friends—James—passed away after he was hit by a drunk driver. In our friend group, he was somebody who never said ‘no.’ When he set his mind to something, he did it. So to honor his memory, I’ve been working on saying ‘yes’ to things in my life. When he passed, the idea for the bar had kind of started and I was like, ‘OK, this is super scary and something I never, ever thought that I could do, so let’s see how far I can take it.’ That’s what James would have wanted.”

Bendición Dry Bar & Non-Alcoholic Bottle Shop2540 W. Divisionbendicionbar.com

While the dry bar doesn’t have regular nonalcoholic bar service yet, they host a busy schedule of events and have ample space for hangouts and private events. The shop part of the space features one of the largest selections of zero-proof beverages in the city and is constantly adding new products. While they don’t have CBD or marijuana-based beverages yet, they are working on adding them soon for the “California sober” set. Anyone who is interested in trying zero-proof beverages or wants to find a sober social community is welcome. 

In addition to her own space, Torres recommends the Chicago Sober Society and their (seasonally updated) Chicago Non-Alcoholic Beverage Guide as resources for finding zero-proof beer and cocktails on menus throughout the city and suburbs.

Read More

Say yes to Bendición Dry BarJT Newmanon January 19, 2023 at 11:14 pm Read More »