I am your African-American friend.

I say that to people who say: “I’m not racist, I have a friend who is African-American.”

We hear that phrase so often its comical.  It’s usually right after a white person does something that exposes their bias.  It’s the knee jerk defense when a white person is accused of a microaggression (I hate generalizing by saying “white person” because any race can be guilty of committing microaggressions (as can I)).

A microaggression is a brief, usually verbal, indignity or subtle expression of bigotry.  Many times, there may not be ill intent but its use insults a group of people.  One common example I have often heard is “You’re so articulate”; the obvious insult or jab being that most black people are inarticulate.  Other common microaggressions of this theme include: “You’re so smart” or “you don’t act black.”

Another example: I was at a Lexus dealership looking at a display for financing. I was likely in a suit having gone after work.  Someone from the dealership saw me looking at the display, briefly explained it and told me I probably didn’t qualify (black = bad credit).

Another example: being followed around by store security at a department store.

Dear Reader: I, and all your other African-American friends, can do this all day.

But the purpose of this post is not to discuss microaggressions.  The point of this post is to clarify that I am not the exception; I am the rule.  Your African-American friend you refer to when you defend yourself with: I’m not a racist, I have an African-American friend; that friend is also not the exception, they are the rule.

What does that mean?  I’m a child of the 80s; I grew up in a predominantly white suburb of Chicago.  When we did speak of race relations—which wasn’t much because in the 80s it was my job to relate to my white friends and neighbors and not the other way around— I was told I was not considered black.  Michael Jordan and other black celebrities weren’t considered black.  Blackness was considered to be consistent with negative stereotypes we saw in media at the time.

Were the people around me comfortable with me because I spoke, dressed and acted like them?  Is that why I wasn’t “black”?  Did they know that in the 80s my parents explained to me that I had to dress and act a certain way to make people around me more comfortable with me being in the room?  My blackness always preceded me into a room—so to assuage peoples’ fears associated with that blackness, I had to speak and act a certain way.  If I was acting like a 15 year old idiot, my actions would be attributed to being black, while my friends’ actions would be attributed to either being 15 year old boy or being with me.

And although that was over 30 years ago, that theme remains.  Have you unintentionally put black people into categories—the ones you know and the ones you don’t?  Are you finding the black people you know acceptable because they talk like you, dress like you, and act like you, but reject the rest of us?

In most cases, doing this isn’t intentional.  Unfortunately, for generations we have all been conditioned to believe negative “the Black male” narrative.

“I’m not a racist, I have a black friend” is another example of a microaggression.  The fact that you have a black friend doesn’t absolve you from bias.  Ultimately, you may have said the black people you do not know are not like you and unintelligent (or insert other stereotype here) whereas my African-American friend is like me and the exception to the negative “Black male” rule.

This post is to remind you: I AM NOT THE EXCEPTION; I AM THE RULE.

YOUR AFRICAN-AMERICAN FRIEND IS NOT THE EXCEPTION; THEY ARE THE RULE.

The negative “Black male” rule we’ve been taught for generations is the exception.

Black people share the range of the American Experience.  We are rich.  We are poor. We are athletic.  Or if you’re like me, you are NOT athletic.  We are intelligent.  We are not so intelligent.  We are unemployed.  We are underemployed.  We are CEOs.  We are mothers.  We are fathers.  We are sons and daughters.  We are everything that you are.

The problem is you don’t see “the Black male” as the people you know.  The people you know are the doctors, intelligent or rich or gainfully employed or good fathers or great students or the articulate or regular guy keeping a job or divorced dad or single mom—those handful of black people you know are like you and the exception to the rule.

Most other black men and women you don’t know are also doctors, intelligent or rich or gainfully employed or good fathers or great students or articulate or regular guy keeping a job or divorced dad or single mom.  You just don’t know them so you may be less comfortable around him as he gets onto an elevator. You’ve been conditioned to be that way.

And please know just because I am a lawyer, doesn’t mean I do not encounter racism.  I encounter racism regardless of my resume.  I don’t have my resume pinned on me when I walk around a department store. I don’t stop security and say: “no need to follow me, I’m a lawyer.”  I don’t say to the woman clutching her purse on the elevator “don’t worry, I’m ‘safe.’”  I don’t do that when I hear the loud click of a car door lock walking through a grocery store parking lot intent only on getting groceries.

In those everyday examples, I’m not the exception—I’m the rule of “the Black male” negative stereotype.  That’s because they were conditioned to see the color of my skin and not everything else that I am.  It should not be necessary to get out a list of references of white people that will vouch for me while walking from my car to Mariano’s.

So when you think about what you can do moving forward, the first thing is to recognize that bias.  Your African-American friend is not the exception; they are the rule.  Recognize still that the bias was conditioned into you for generations.  That doesn’t make it OK, but we all need to acknowledge that bias can’t be turned off like a light switch.  But acknowledging its existence is a good first step in changing the conditioning in your home and the people around you.

Make certain you talk to your children.  Today is an excellent day to have the discussion.  You don’t have to wait until your children are older.  Do it today.  But remember, your children will model what they see you doing.  It’s not enough to tell someone what to do, we must also live it.

So when you clutch your purse in an elevator because you don’t know me, recognize what you’re doing and stop. Like you, I have somewhere to be in that building and that is what put me on that elevator.  Not your purse.

This week’s Consumer Guide Automotive Car Stuff Podcast covers a wide range of topics, starting with the fact the Infiniti brand is getting a makeover, and rather than shooting for the likes of Mercedes-Benz or BMW, it’s aiming to be a kind of Nissan Plus. Our jury’s still out on what that means or if it will be successful, but we’re pretty sure this means the end of rear-wheel drive at Infiniti.

Since we’ve all had the chance to drive different versions of the new BMW 8 Series, our #cardujour conversation was a mishmash of what we’ve driven. Me? I wax poetic about the M8. While I get a lot of vehicles I like in any given test year, this is one I loved. If I could have kept it, I totally would have.

Our guest this week was Kelsey Mays, senior consumer affairs editor at Cars.com, goes over some of the more popular self-driving (ish) features available in cars. He’s quick to point out currently there are no self-driving cars, and categorizes these features more along the lines of driver’s aids. He’s compiled a comprehensive list of which features are available on which vehicles. 

Apologies for the long stretch between posts, but I’ve been dealing with a family situation, so this was one of those things that got missed the past few weeks. However, I was still recording the podcast, so if you aren’t a subscriber and have been missing the last few episodes, you can catch them here:

• Becoming a Mechanic, 2020 Jeep Compass Trailhawk
• GMC Pickup Design, 2020 Nissan Sentra

While I will continue to post the podcast to my blog each week, you can subscribe to the Consumer Guide Car Stuff Podcast on any podcast subscription service or visit the Buzzsprout link. New episodes are usually posted on Friday, and then the show itself airs on WCPT 820 AM on Sundays from 1 to 2 p.m.

Be sure to let us know if you have questions or if there are any topics you’d like us to cover on future podcasts.

You can follow us on social at:

• Jill: @jillciminillo (instagram/twitter)
• Tom: @car_guy_tom (twitter)
• Damon: @DBell72333786 (twitter)
• Consumer Guide Automotive: @cgautomotive (twitter/facebook)
• Consumer Guide Car Stuff on facebook

Most kids only dream of driving a race car, yet, an increasing number of girls (as well as boys) are making those dreams come true. A fast growing segment of drag racing, for instance, is Junior Dragster, which offers young kids a lot of fun and friendship, as well as quite an experience. Kids 8-17 years of age are eligible to race in this division on sanctioned tracks throughout North America. Involvement in racing enables young kids to spend time with their family, as well as focus on a sport that teaches them about many of the facts of life. It also takes away negative aspects of the teenage years, such as struggling with where they fit in.

We all need to be involved in something that helps us feel successful, to be praised and to feel loved, notes international soccer star Mia Hamm, who grew up moving every few years and knows what it’s like not to have a history. She did, however, have soccer. To her the soccer team meant a familiar place and immediate friends. She found she could express herself on the field. When meeting new people or making new decisions, says Hamm, I keep a small core group of really good friends.

It is no secret that individuals with high self-esteem generally have greater, and more accurate self-knowledge. Do kids who enter racing have higher self-worth? Perhaps. This isn’t a sport for every kid, of course. The better someone feels about herself, the more actively she engages in daily activities. Self-esteem often goes down with adolescent girls. The decline throughout this development period is helped by participating in sports.

General self-worth allows an individual to feel good about whom she/he is, what she can do and gives her the necessary confidence to take on more challenges. The health benefit of sports have been clearly demonstrated. Achieving self-esteem involves becoming the person you want to be, enjoying others more fully, and offering more of yourself to the world.

Social and emotional learning starts with focusing and centering, communication and cooperation, conflict resolution and problem solving. Skills learned on the track carry over into all other parts of their lives. Learning to drive a race car and all that goes along with racing is very empowering; giving girls responsiblity for their own achievements.

Acquiring self-esteem involves becoming the person you want to be, enjoying others more fully and offering more of yourself in the world.

If learning more about getting into auto racing appeals to you, take a look at our 2009 book GirlsGoRacing: Driving to Esteems (Dani Ben-Ari, Susan Frissell, Authorhouse Press).

The Global Pandemic has caused so many of us to cancel our gatherings and special events.  It’s even left us thinking about new ways that we can safely celebrate with friends and loved ones without compromising our health and those around us. More so, with so many temporary closed businesses it’s hard to know what companies are available to help us drum up new ideas and overall keep our celebrations going. After all, with so much uncertainty and despair around us we need to find ways to smile and be around the people we love the most. This is why I recently teamed up with 10 local businesses who all offer services that can help you create great gatherings and lasting memories for years to come. Check them all out here.

1. Miss Liz’s Mobile Bartending Services

Whether your entertaining 10 or 10,000, hiring a mobile bartending company is a great addition to any celebration! Miss Liz’s Mobile Bartending Service is a full service bartending company that focuses on providing a memorable bar and beverage experience for any special occasion. . They offer a  professional, yet fun bartending team, that can handle the bar planning from start to finish with both alcohol and non alcoholic options such mocktails & smoothies. They also offer virtual or in person cocktail making classes and tastings as a way to give you more options to safely enjoy yourselves during these times.
Contact Elizabeth Tyler for a free event consultation today at 708-300-9718  or visit  http://www.makeyourdrinkscometrue.com

2 DJ D Will

The Music certainly keeps the party going! Because of that, we highly suggest that you hire a professional DJ for your next Virtual or Face to Face gathering. We can personally recommend Chicago’s own DJ D-Will who specializes in many Genres to include: Hip Hop, R&B, Dancehall, House, Open Format. The company is available for Virtual and Private Events, Celebrations, Weddings, House Events, Clubs, Corporate Events and more! To learn more or to book a free consultation Email http://[email protected]  

Social Media: Facebook Duane DWill Williams, Instagram @djdwill79, Twitch Duaneron79

3. Mera Mera Events

Need some help drumming up the perfect theme, or help bringing an existing theme to life ? No problem! We highly recommend Emera A. Richmond CEP, owner and lead designer of Mera Mera Design & Events Inc. The company is a full service Design and Event planning boutique based in the south suburbs of Chicago, servicing the Chicagoland and Nortwest Indiana area. Their impeccable attention to detail and innovative approach add style and flair to any occasion. To book a consultation Contact 708 536 8357 or to learn more and see photos visit
Email: [email protected]
Instagram:
mera Mera Events
Facebook: Mera Mera Design & Events

“Creating Events that Reflect You”

4. Peeka’s Sweet Treats

Looking the perfect array of sweet treats for your next gathering? Look no further than Peeka’s Sweet Treats!  They are an online bakery that services the Chicagoland and surrounding suburban areas. They offer everything from elaborate custom cakes/treats, bakery pastries to private dinner party dessert options delivered to your door. To order your treats visit http://www.PeekasSweetTreats.com
IG: PeekaSweeTreats
FB: Peekas Sweet Treats

5. My Girlfriends Photobooth

There’s nothing better than capturing the memories with your loved ones to cherish for years to come. My Girlfriend’s Photo Booth, LLC is available for 2 or more hours for all your special events. Rentals available for corporate or family celebrations, we provide an attendant to capture and print your memories onsite. Local or global, we provide the keepsakes to keep the party going! Call now, to make your memories last forever.
630.216.9515
http://Mygirlfriendsphotobooth.com

6. Purple Ribbon Chef

No need to worry about the menu when Purple Ribbon Chef is in town. They are a full service catering company that specializes in intimate and large scale events. Purple Ribbon Chef is all about “Serving delicious bites with a taste of Advocacy” Bringing awareness to Lupus & Domestic Violence! You can learn more and book service by visiting http://Www.purpleribbonchef.com

7.  CC Tots Play

Don’t let your kids drive you crazy this Summer instead hire C and C Tots play to set up fun activities  at your home or preferred location. They offer everything from  Soft Play for infants and toddlers to Large inflatables and Awesome Nerf Wars Packages! Also don’t forget to ask about their New LED Rentals  that will light up the night! Visit https://www.ctotsplay.com/

8. Just play entertainment

Just Play Entertainment is a game changer in the game industry. They are a full service game and event production company and the home of the popular Hip Hop Charades Card Game! Don’t let the Quarantine stop you from having fun! Bringing family and friends closer and creating fun memories helps during stressful times as the pandemic. Offering Virtual team build activities, Celebrating a birthday? We’ll include a birthday serenade, virtual toast, custom invite and virtual background. Choose from Virtual Hip Hop Charades, The Feud, Jeopardy, The Karaoke Game and/or That’s What She Said. Just Play Entertainment has what you need for good times guaranteed! To learn more visit http://www.justplayentertainment.com

9. Blue Lacuna and Momentum Coffee

•Virtual offices •Events •Business Development

Need a place to host your next intimate are large gathering? Blue Lacuna has you covered!  They offer several event room rentals with two amazing locations to choose from. Their services also include a full service events team that can help you with everything from event management, catering, photography, decor and more! Visit https://www.thebluelacuna.com/en to book your next event.

10. Brown Sugar Balloon Designs and Academy 

We all know that the party doesn’t start until the balloons arrive! Brown Sugar Balloon Design and Academy is not your average balloon company. They specialize in creating balloon visuals that will transform any space into something magical. Whether your looking to have a special outdoor balloon backdrop to exotic centerpieces and arches they are the best at it! Visit https://yshop.org/products/balloon-designs-and-academy. To book and learn more!

When I did my last monthly update on the Chicago real estate market I told you it was going to get worse because April closings benefited from contract activity prior to the coronavirus hibernation. With April contract activity down 54.4% from the year before it was inevitable that May closings were going to suck. And they did.

Check out the graph below, which has all the May values flagged in red along with a light blue moving trendline which has taken a dramatic dip in the last couple of months. May closings were down 42.5% from last year, which is a record drop since 1997. In fact, over the last 24 years only 2 years had a lower level of sales – 1997 and 2009.

The Illinois Association of Realtors will come out with their numbers in a couple of weeks. Their version of reality will show a 43.6% year over year decline.

Chicago home sales have been declining now for several years but the Coronavirus really tanked the market in May

Chicago Home Contract Activity

Yeah, Chicago home contract activity also sucks but the good news is that it’s sucking a lot less these days than it had been. I’m estimating that May activity was off by 18.7% from last year, compared to a 54.1% decline in April, which is a lot better.

To get an even better view of what’s going on let’s look at the most recent weekly data – week 13 in my series, the week ending May 30. Detached contract activity was only off 6% from last year while attached contract activity was actually up a teeny tiny bit – less than 1%. So the bottom line is that contract activity is almost back to normal. June sales should not be that bad.

Chicago home sale contract activity plummeted to a record low for an April due to Coronavirus concerns.

Pending Home Sales

As you would expect pending home sales are also down quite a bit as shown in the graph below but it’s also recovered a bit from a really bad April. May had a decline of 1043 units from last year and it needs to be “replenished” over the next month or two so some of the new contracts written will go towards that.

The backlog of homes likely to close in the next 1 – 2 months has fallen to record lows for this time of year in parallel with the decline in contract activity

Distressed Home Sales

The long term decline in the percentage of home sales that are distressed has to come to an end as we run out of room to go down further. May came in at 5.3% vs. 5.5% last year, which is a pretty small decline, but it may be that this is also Covid related. Many people who have a choice about listing their home held back over the last few months but if you had a distressed sale to take care of…well…you moved forward. So it’s not surprising that this number might be a bit elevated.

Since the housing crisis the percentage of home sales that are distressed has steadily declined.

Chicago Home Inventory

As a reminder, I’m deviating from using the pre-packaged inventory graphs because there is too much averaging incorporated (see last month’s real estate market update for a longer explanation) and using my own metric of months of supply. The result is very revealing. Detached inventory is at a record low of only a 2.6 month supply compared to 3.5 months last May – definitely a seller’s market. Yeah, I know…hard to believe.

Even attached inventory dropped significantly to only a 3.6 month supply from 6.2 months in April. But that compares to 3.7 months last May – not significantly lower on that basis.

Let’s see if we can get a more up to date picture of the inventory by looking at the most recent weekly data. Detached inventory was at 10.6 weeks supply vs. 12.4 weeks last year so that’s consistent with my monthly numbers. And attached inventory came in at 14.3 weeks vs. 16.7 which is a significant drop so the June number could show a big decline from last June.

After a big Coronavirus induced spike in April the inventory of homes for sale dropped back down in May. Detached inventory hit a record low.

Chicago Home Sale Market Times

Where the rubber meets the road though is how long does it take to sell a home in Chicago and that’s a bit disappointing. Detached homes that sold in May took 86 days to go under contract compared to 79 days last year. Attached homes took 80 days vs. 70 days last year but, as you can see in the graph, this metric has been on a rise anyway. We probably shouldn’t get too worried about these numbers though because a lot of these homes went under contract when inventory levels were much higher than they are now.

The Chicago real estate market impact of the Covid-19 pandemic has recently started to manifest in longer market times for both detached and attached homes

If you would like more information on the Chicago real estate market you can visit our Web site for additional data.

#RealEstate #ChicagoRealEstate #Coronavirus

Gary Lucido is the President of Lucid Realty, the Chicago area’s full service real estate brokerage that offers home buyer rebates and discount commissions. If you want to keep up to date on the Chicago real estate market or get an insider’s view of the seamy underbelly of the real estate industry you can Subscribe to Getting Real by Email using the form below. Please be sure to verify your email address when you receive the verification notice.

Check out the golf swings of Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson for every year they’ve competed on the PGA TOUR from 1996 through 2020.

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