Ghastly greetings from Count Gregula! I’m back from the undead vith an all NEW blog post that contains some ghoul news for my revolting readers and sinful subscribers. Although 2020 has already been quite fearful vith the Coronavirus threat, the BEAST time of year is here once again and cannot be stopped! Several fang-tastic fears and fall frights are featured in my pandemic edition of eerie events for this scare season.

Below is my annual demonic directory of a select few Chicagoland haunted happenings that offer some sinister scares, heinous horrors and terror treats. Be sure to check each individual site for exact times and dates of operation, as vell as any necessary COVID-19 regulations. I have everything categorized below. Have some fiendish fun getting frightened, but please stay safe and heed all health guidelines at each location for the enjoyment of all!

‡ HAUNTED ATTRACTIONS ‡

Evil Intentions Haunted House

In Elgin’s industrial section stands the abandoned home of Elgin Casket Company. This once proud building has been vitness to murder, grisly discoveries, cult activities, and unexplained occurrences, and a dark legacy has emerged from its sordid history. Evil Intentions Haunted House now takes up residence at this completely unique location and nothing else is like it in the state of Illinois. Be truly terrorized at this multi-level 55,000 square foot paranormal hot spot. The horrific haunt offers a hex-perience you vill never forget and macabre memories that vill give you nightmares for years to come.

Located at 900 Grace Street in Elgin, Illinois. Parking is free in the adjacent lot across the street. Evil Intentions Haunted House opened to the public for shows beginning on October 2, 2020 and runs on select dates through October 31, 2020. General admission tickets are $35 per person. To purchase tickets in advance, click HERE.

Midnight Terror Haunted House

Midnight Terror Haunted House in Oak Lawn opens for its seventh season on October 15th. Now in its fifth straight year since 2016 at its larger location, Midnight Terror Haunted House has been ranked in several top 10 lists and visitor counts have increased. Creator/co-owner Justin Cerniuk runs Midnight Terror as a family rather than a corporation by allowing his actors creative freedom. Midnight Terror vill offer various special event nights thoughtout the season.

Located at 5520 W. 111th St., Oak Lawn, Illinois. Midnight Terror opens to the public for shows beginning on October 15, 2020 and runs on select dates through November 1, 2020. Clown Takeover is November 6th and 7th. Free entertainment for guests in line. Ghoulish gift shop on the premises. ADA-accessible. All indoors including a covered vaiting area. Park for free at the Oak Lawn Metra station parking garage (located at 9525 Tulley Ave.) and take a complimentary round-trip shuttle that includes costumed characters aboard to entertain passengers to the Midnight Terror site. Tickets start at $28 per person for general admission, VIP admission per person is $40 and Immediate admission per person is $60. For more info, promotions, and to purchase tickets online go HERE.

‡ PUMPKIN FARMS ‡

Bengtson’s Pumpkin Fest

Bengtson Farm is a family owned and operated Pumpkin Festival that has served the Homer Glen area for over 38 years. The pumpkin festival is located just 40 minutes outside of Chicago. Enjoy attractions like Tractor Town, Barnyard Dance Cow Coaster, Free Selfie Booth, Gemstone Mining Sluice, Pumpkin Chucker, Pig Races, Animals & Petting Zoo, Train Rides (2), 90′ Mega Fun Slides, Frog Hopper, Pumpkins, Twirling Honey Pots, Happy Swing, Bengtsonville Kids Village, The Milking Cows, Jimmy Cracked Corn Box, Fun Barn, Haunted Barn and Pony Rides. Unlimited rides are included for all guests of the farm. Some rides have minimum height requirements. Vhen hungry be sure to visit their Eats and Treats that includes classic carnival food, a variety of food trucks and much more.

Located at 13341 W 151st St in Homer Glen, Illinois. Bengtson’s Pumpkin Fest is ADA-accessible, mostly outdoors and stroller friendly. Free parking in adjacent parking lot. Discounted veekday admission. Free to children 2 years and younger. The pumpkin farm opened to the public on September 25, 2020 and runs on select dates through November 1, 2020. Tickets starting at $13.99, depending upon date. Purchase tickets online by clicking HERE.

**If you vould like your haunted happening (in or around Chicago ONLY) listed here just send us a press release by e-mail. Then ve can set up a date to come over for a review. Fangs! V^^^V

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Photo courtesy of Chicago Tribune

Satire

“I want to get for you what I got and I’m going to make it free. You’re not going to pay for it. ” With those words in yesterday’s Twitter video, President Donald Trump tacked a new direction as he at last revealed his health plan for America. 

Mitch McConnell, in a follow-up interview, confirmed the President’s announcement.

“Yes, we want to destroy ObamaCare, that hideous piece of legislation that those evil Democrats rammed through our throats during their illegal administration of the worst eight years of this great nation’s history. Obamacare is a mess, loaded with premium payments and pre-pays and copays and deductibles.

President Trump’s plan is simple and straightforward. You need healthcare? Go to your doctor and you will get it for free. Need drugs? Go to your pharmacy and get them for free.  Need an abortion? Go to Canada and rot in hell.”

When asked how the country could afford this plan, McConnell stated that Trump had been given a method direct from God. This was confirmed in last night’s Vice-Presidential Debate when VP Mike Pence interrupted Democratic nominee Kamala Harris to say “Our plan to pay for America’s wonderful healthcare is as clear as the fly on my hair which I believe is another message from God.”

When it was pointed out to Speaker McConnell that the plan sounded like a socialist-style European healthcare plan, McConnell objected, stating only the liberal fake-news industry would make that comparison. Sean Hannity also refuted the idea that this was universal healthcare, relaying that it was God’s desire and therefore a capitalist endeavor.

Alex Azar, Secretary of Health and Human Services did not return numerous telephone call requests for further information. An email request was returned with an “Out of the Office until November 4th” automatic response.

Chuck Schumer, Democratic Senator from New York, was overheard telling a staffer about Trump  “The guy is meshugh, what more can I say?”

Vote November 3rd.

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We have no choice but to live in the moment. It is real time; ‘here and now’ time.

What came before is past; what comes next is the future, yet to arrive. Only the present moment is ‘real.’ Thinking we exist anywhere other than the exact moment we are in, is a deception.

When we become preoccupied with the past, we are lost in memory, caught in a time that no longer exists. If we jump ahead and project the present into the future, that is time that exists in the imagination, yet to exist. The saying is, “Live in the present;” more accurate would be, “Live in reality.”

Typically, depression lives in the past and anxiety lives in the future. Alternately, calmness and peace of mind live in the present.

To live in the moment is to be fully conscious; keenly aware of the miracle of being alive, capable of feeling happiness and gratitude (and yes, pain). This is the blessing bestowed on sentient beings, the capability to savor each moment.

It is a precious gift, often wasted on the young, who see time as stretching endlessly toward a destination not yet in their Atlas. But for us Elders, understanding the wonder of each moment that flees by, we try not to waste a single tick of the clock of time, savoring the opportunity to choose how we spend each precious minute, not settling for anything less than that which brings us the most joy.

When my granddaughter tentatively knocks on the door while I am watching the Bears’ game, and asks if she could help me with the recipe I planned for dinner, it’s a quick read, Bears game or sharing treasured time with the nine year old light of my life.

Which decision would connect us more closely? Which memory would bring me the most pleasure?

Jack and Jill are a two to three-year-old, tri-color brother and sister guinea pigs looking for a loving guardian together.

Jack is a crowned or crested neutered male; and Jill is a smooth coated intact female. These two get along famously and will play tug-of-war over pieces of Romaine lettuce.

Jack is the braver, bolder and more sociable of the two-some. Jill is sweet to hold and pet, but will run away and hide, at first.

Guinea pigs are happiest in pairs, and Jack was neutered so he can stay with his sister who he adores.

Guinea pigs eat a diet of unlimited Timothy and Orchard hays. They are currently eating a small amount of guinea pig pellets, and fresh vegetables including romaine, red leaf and green leaf lettuces, cilantro, cucumbers, carrots, tomatoes, etc. Guinea pigs, just like humans, can’t manufacture their own vitamin C, so they need to supplement with red pepper and many other vitamin C-rich foods.

Please read up on guinea pig care and diet before adopting by visiting this excellent web site http://www.guinealynx.info/.

This gorgeous pair would love a home with people who will handle them daily, keep them well fed, and keep their habitat nice and clean.

If you’re interested in meeting and possibly adopting Jack and Jill, please contact [email protected] for a guinea pig adoption application.

They are being fostered in Chicago’s Andersonville neighborhood.

Their adoption fee of $80 as a pair benefits the Friends of Petraits Rescue. For an additional $120, we’ll include a package of absolutely everything you need to care for them including a huge and well-thought out habitat, pellets, hay, litter, and water bottle.

And, yes … Friends of Petraits is handling masked, minimum contact, socially distant adoptions.