Ms Crankypants wants a word with those of you who are not sheltering in place/staying at home/ confining yourself to your own space. Like those of you who are busy swarming the beaches (400 people cleared from the Naples FL beaches the other day), the walking trails (crowds using the 606 before it was closed) and whatever other outdoor places you can take over. Those who are having house parties (like in the New Jersey apartment where 47 people and a DJ were partying in 550 square feet), and wherever else you can insert yourselves. You know, the COVIDiots. For all of you, I have a question: what in the blathering hell are you thinking?

I don’t even know where to begin, so I’ll start with the inside of your head. It must be a very black and white place there with two kinds of people in the world: the saps who do what they’re told for their own safety and the greater good, and You.

In your own mind, You are entitled, You are immune, You are bigger than life, far most important than the rest of us. Like more important than grandparents, for instance, who will die early because of You whose grandkids will never enjoy another of their bedtime stories or Facetime calls. And as we have more recently come to see, like the children who are and will continue to die of this too. But You don’t take responsibility for that, do You, or will You? And then there are the medical folks who have died and will die on what is called “the front lines,” as if we are in a war which of course we are.

And guess who is the Enemy? The virus, You say? No, that’s a protein that got weaponized by natural forces that luckily we rarely see, and most of us couldn’t have imagined. Except for some people like epidemiologists and people who listened to them back when we could have gotten ready for this. If haven’t seen the video from 2015 from that well-informed-about-public-health-head-of-a-global-foundation Bill Gates who did listen to them, predicting this pandemic, take a look.

No, pal, the Enemy is You, in all your self-designated glory. You are extending the time frame, You are preventing the end from coming, You are Responsible.

That mind of Yours that we are excavating apparently has no room for actual facts, self-responsibility, and God-forbid (you know, that guy that you used to go to church about before the pantywaists closed them down) empathy for others’ suffering. You do know that concern for others is an essential feature of civilization, or do You? Not that it applies to You anyway.

So, good job, You, the Enemy of the Rest of Us. You, the Entitled, so proud that You are a resister of anyone being the boss-of-You have exercised your power and control in a whole new realm. And this time, just look at how very powerful you are – by extending this pandemic, you are destroying the economy, throwing millions of folks into unemployment (imagine with me for a moment, the families without food to eat, losing the homes they were so proud to own, in despair. Oh, You can’t do it? No surprise there), putting businesses out of existence as they can’t bridge the even-longer-thanks-to-You gap between them and their customers. And of course, the deaths. How exactly does that feel? The rest of the world feels this way: You are an Idiot. A dangerous and deadly Idiot.

You will say – I can hear You now – “Hey, don’t blame Me, it’s not My fault.” Yet it is, along with all the other Idiots who deny and avoid and spin this story for their own benefit. But don’t worry, help is coming. Future posts will have guidance for You, the late-to-the-reality-table folks. The first piece: Get home and stay home. Now.

Please return for the next installment of Ms C vs the COVIDiots. My mission is to help You and I will persist until You are Woke to your chance to turn Yourself around. You can thank me later.