Dear Brides-to-Be,

I know it seems frivolous to think about a wedding during a global pandemic. People are dying, losing their jobs and everyone is fearful of the unknown.

Unless it’s your wedding.

Then it takes over your entire mindset. All day. Every day.

Even during the best of circumstances, you would be absorbed with your wedding plans day and night. That’s what brides do.

Perhaps you are a first responder, doctor or nurse at the front lines of the battlefield. Or a laid off hotel employee, chef or small business owner.

Or just a woman working really hard to try and make sense of all this.

Why me? Why now?

Too much stress to fathom.

Your wedding is in pieces.

I feel sorry for you right now. Deeply sorry.

You may have planned an April wedding for the last two years? Or a May wedding in the last six months?

Doesn’t matter.

It’s your wedding day.

Five hundred guests attending or fifty?

Doesn’t matter.

A destination wedding at a luxury resort in Mexico? An intimate gathering at a restaurant? A huge church wedding and dinner reception with a live band?

Doesn’t matter.

Postpone? Until when?  No one knows when this will be behind us. Or when people will feel comfortable gathering in a large group. Or when that is even possible.

So many decisions and details to attend to and nothing seems to be going according to the best laid plans.

There is no such thing as best laid plans right now.

Vendors, caterers, florists and photographers should be flexible in rearranging a wedding down the road. They have much to lose during this crisis, even more than you.

I know that is disappointing to you.

Missed bridal showers, bachelorette parties and boxes of printed invitations still not mailed.

You are hurting. Tears are being shed.

I know you don’t want to hear this right now but please know you will get through this.

This will test your mettle. Your grace under fire. Your strength. Your sense of humor.

Especially your sense of humor.

Adversity does not

build character,

it reveals it.

James Lane Allen

Marriage is a lifelong commitment.

You and your partner will face a multitude of difficulties in your marriage. No one gets out of life unscathed. Trust me.

Marriage isn’t defined by a “first look,” the best man’s toast or a tender dance with your father.

Marriage is defined by how you and your partner face life’s challenges and celebrate life’s greatest joys with all the bland, boring stuff in between.

You have each other and that is all that truly matters.

You got this.

Whatever transpires with your wedding plans, I promise your wedding will happen. Maybe not the day you chose, but that’s only a date on a calendar.

And when that wedding day arrives, I think your family and friends will surround you with even greater love and support because you were a warrior.

You made the best of a very difficult time in our history.

You survived.

You are undaunted.

You have grit.

Button up that beautiful gown, smell that fragrant bouquet of flowers, say your vows with conviction and radiate happiness with you chin held high.

Meanwhile, stay healthy. Stay calm. Keep your cool.

And may you live happily ever after.

I salute you.

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