“Fake it till you make it” is an expression we have all heard at some point. A way-of-life mentality to encourage confidence and an optimistic outlook. A saying that we should tell ourselves when taking on new roles and challenges in order to shift our mindset into believing we are capable.

Well, I don’t like it and here’s why…

“Fake it till you make it” is encouraging us to create a false reality. To put on a front for those around us. Some may do this masterfully, but for most of us it is a challenge. And the challenge comes from within. If we are faking the funk, but internally still self-sabotaging, then we are running a race on a treadmill. You cannot not “make it” as the saying goes, if you do not actually believe you can “make it.” So if your body is doing one thing and your mind is doing another, it will always be a losing battle.

Your internal dialogue and the health of your spirit will always rise above the shell that you are in. What I mean is, the energy and light that we omit from the inside will always shine through whether it is bright, dim, or dark. You cannot fake the frequency your soul vibrates on so stop trying to hide it. Our spirit communicates beyond words and it deeply craves connection and a sense of being “seen” or felt by others. This is why we feel so alone when we are in a place of “faking it.”

Instead of faking it till you make it, embrace the unknowns. You cannot fool yourself, so don’t try to. Listen to the fears and doubts that arise. Shed light on all the uncertainties so you can gain your confidence and reassure yourself that “you got this!” And if you don’t got this, which is sometimes the case, allow yourself to be transparent with where you are at in that very moment. Being honest with yourself allows others to step in and offer that fellowship we all need. It also illuminates the spaces within ourselves that need healing.

So I suggest instead of “fake it till you make it” how about we start saying, “Face it till you make it”.
Face the self-doubts.
Face the negative self-talk.
Face the insecurities.
Face all the discomforts.

Face it until you have the capacity, the self-love, and the full belief that you will make it.