My beloved Democratic Party should have hired a linguistics professor . Or maybe a semanticist,  Or better yet, a retired ad agency creative director from the era of memory-implanting tag lines.*

Instead they brainlessly brainstormed the un-catchy  (and more importantly, misleading) call to action, “Defund the Police”–so incomprehensible it has to be explained away by its progenitors. In near apology yet.

And most tragic of all , it has fed a bagful  of  contaminated fodder into the Trumpist maw, which has twisted”Defund the Police” into a TV commercial implying that the Left is urging the out-and-out dismantling of  all constabularies. thus leaving American citizens defenseless against an ineluctable crime tsunami, as 911 calls go  endlessly unanswered. In short, Trumpists have effortlessly answered “Defund the Police” with a battle cry that might as well Trumpet out, “Defend the Police.”

Readily ready for Progressive’s attack , instead,  were a handful of alternative mottos that would have committed no self-inflicted damages of misunderstanding.
For example:

Police Reform:  With some measure of success, the Republicans have used themes like “Tax Reform” and “Healthcare Reform”  to disguise proposed legislation calculated to fill the pockets of greedy industry lobbies.

Police Reformation: “Reformation” worked pretty well for Martin Luther in the 16th century. Who knows? It might have been followed religiously today.

Police Renaissance: “Renaissance” ebulliently  describes a flowering of artistic expression in 14th to 16th century Florence. Why not  revive it as 21st century agitprop?

Police Restoration:    “Restoration”  sure flattered Charles 11 in 1660 to say nothing of the ensuing drama and architecture of the period. It deserves an audience.

Or, best yet:

Make American Police Great Again    Boldly and baldly suggesting  that a failed system was in dire need of rehab seems to have worked pretty well for that putz in the White House.  Why not give it a shot here?

In any case, let’s please defuse “defund.”  And soon.

*I, for example, am one of them, having in 1967 conjured up the Maughan-inspired “STP is the Racer’s Edge” and the more recent “We Bake to Differ” spotted around Chicagoland emblazoned on Gonnella Bread trucks, not to mention several other slogans of note. And so, because there  are, after all, some limits to my boastfulness, I will not mention them.