By Jane Doe 

Editor’s note: Jane Doe submitted a question confidentially to the #SBCCHAT (our weekly relationship chat on Twitter) about her situation, and we asked her for more details. Jane decided to submit this blog instead. 

I’ve been married for 4 years, so why do I feel so lonely?  

Married people are supposed to be happy, right? But sometimes I feel more alone than ever. It seems like everyone around me is in a happy relationship, and I can’t help but feel left out. What’s wrong with me? Why don’t I feel content in my own marriage? 

These are questions that I often ask myself.

And unfortunately, there’s no easy answer. Maybe it’s because my husband and I have grown apart over the years. Or maybe it’s because I’m not fulfilled in my career or home life. Perhaps it’s the 2+ year of lockdown with no end in sight.

Just as I was thinking about my loneliness, my 1-year-old son was crawling to me. There it is, I thought; the reason for my loneliness.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was ecstatic, but also nervous. 

Posed by a professional model.

I knew there was a real possibility that my ex was the father of my child. 

My husband started working as a long-distance truck driver, and his schedule of several days on the road hit me hard. I felt that my husband was pulling away from me, and right on cue, my ex began to show me attention. 

While my husband was on the road–and the world was locking down–I was hooking up with my ex, in our marital bed, several nights a week. I changed the sheets and made love to my husband on weekends to cover up the guilt, but I really couldn’t stop myself. 

I was two months pregnant, and the moment I told my ex, he ran out on me. So I flipped the script and played the happy pregnant wife.

I couldn’t wait to tell my husband the news. 

Posed by a professional model.

Our son was born and I knew that my husband was not the father. I cried in the delivery room. The nurses thought I was shedding tears of joy–they were tears of shame.

I stole money from our joint account and got a paternity test. The results were quick and devastating: My ex is my son’s biological dad.

I told my ex he was the father, my ex’s response:

‘I think the best thing you can do is stay married and let your husband raise your child. I’m not interested in being a dad.’

The fact of the matter is that I’m lonely in my marriage because I’m a liar.

Telling my husband the truth would not set me free, it would land me in divorce court and in poverty, therefore, I am doomed to carry this lie forever. Also, this is my husband’s first son–I can’t take that from him.

No one will know that my husband is not the father of my child, but you.

Thank you for reading.

If you have a love problem, please submit your question confidentially to [email protected]. Chat questions are posted on Twitter and Instagram on Wednesdays at noon.

Born today was Evelyn Wood.

Speed reading was her livelihood.

“Read a myriad of words a minute” she contended.

Without any proof one comprehended.*

*Evelyn Wood had little classroom experience, no degrees in reading instruction, and a background that included cooperation with the Third Reich. Nevertheless, a nation spooked by Sputnik and panicked by paperwork eagerly embraced her promises of a speed-reading revolution. Journalists, lawmakers, and two U.S. presidents lent credibility to her claims of turbocharged reading speeds. Fudging test results and squelching critics, Wood maintained her popularity even as science proved that her system taught only skimming, with disastrous effects on comprehension. As apps and online courses attempt to spark a speed-reading revival, Scan Artist looks at Wood’s rise from missionary to marketer exposes the pitfalls of wishful thinking. (Chicago Review Press, 2019)

We needed a new scale so I decided to get one of those fancy digital ones that connect via Bluetooth, WiFi, and Gregorian Chants. The scale arrived on or just before Dec 1st and I started weighing myself. I weighed myself 3 times because I just couldn’t believe how fat I am wanted to get an accurate baseline starting point.

In the first seven days, my weight fluctuated from 220 to a low of 213 lbs. I didn’t do anything remotely resembling exercise and it was the holiday season so I wasn’t exactly watching my diet. Then I decided to get a little more serious and started watching what I was eating, making an effort to eat more healthy — I found this recipe for Panzanella which turned out okay on the first try and even better once I added the bread and cut the vegetables smaller and more consistently.

I even started tracking my steps and running a mile when the opportunity arose. Some days I don’t get my steps in until bedtime, other days I get them before dinner. I have no doubt I’m producing at least 10K steps daily if not more. I just don’t capture all of them.

There was still weight fluctuation but it got a little more steady. The range was now 214 – 217 lbs, give or take. This was late December and the rituals appropriated from Pagans holidays my family celebrates kicked in. My BIL made Prime Rib so it wasn’t easy to control the weight, especially since adult beverages go along with those meals.

For the most part, my weight has stabilized to about 215 lbs and trending downwards. Now that the holidays are over, it’s time to get a little more serious and see if I can bring that down more. My goal is to get back down to 200 lbs or thereabouts.

We are attempting Dry January again after too many stops and starts last year. Personally, I think February is easier with a couple of fewer days and no NFL playoffs but that is me.

Stay Tuned

****************

Like me, you probably dislike all of the ads on this page. They pop up unexpectedly, sometimes cover text, start playing videos and clutter the post itself. We bloggers have no control over any aspect of the ads (content, form, placement, etc). I am sorry that they have taken over our blogs on ChicagoNow and appreciate your continued support.

Follow Mysteries of Life on Twitter (@MysteriesOLife), Facebook or subscribe via email.

BY SANDRA GUY

Winter’s busy activities — returning to the grind of school, work and COVID precautions — can easily throw even the most disciplined task master off of his routine.

So steel yourself and vow to stay vigilant with healthy routines in the New Year. That includes brushing and flossing your teeth.

While you’re being vigilant, why not add tried-and-true herbal remedies to your oral health tools — and teach them to your children?

That would be timely now, both as a boost to the family’s health and to recognize February as National Children’s Dental Health Month.

One natural practice, oil pulling, leverages coconut oil’s lauric acid to kill bacteria that can cause bad breath, tooth decay and gum disease. Just put a tablespoon of the coconut oil in your mouth, then swish it around for as long as you can — ideally 15 minutes. Actually, kids may be better at this than adults, especially if you turn it into a game or a fun challenge.

Cinnamon as an essential oil is antibacterial, antifungal and antiseptic. Cinnamon oil also contains an antimicrobial property to help protect against bacteria that causes tooth decay.

Holistic dentists also recommend cleaning your tongue.

If you are a novice, use a gentle scraper.

Stay vigilant about flossing. It’s just as important as brushing because it helps prevent plaque and tooth decay.

Another overlooked aspect of dental hygiene is a healthy diet. So resolve to eat less sugar and fewer sticky or syrupy drinks and carbonated beverages.

I rarely have guest bloggers, but an experienced teacher I know sent me this, and in the face of all the hostility between the Chicago Public School System and the Chicago Teacher’s Union I thought I would post it.

Full Disclosure for total transparency:

The teacher, Laury Wolf, is a veteran high shcool math teacher, with experience in New York City and Chicago, but does not teach in the CPS System.
She is my daughter (and that is not her picture at the top of the blog.)

——————————————

“I get to do this.”

I never thought I would be one to write a blog post, but if anything, the last two years have allowed us to try new things. Also, time, time is just different. I haven’t had time to leave our house, see friends, try new restaurants or travel. I have had time to think, and I mean really think. I lot of the things have been related to my career. I am a math teacher, and I mostly love it. I have been thinking if I move on what would that look like, what else can I do?

I grew up with a dad who was a first-generation American, understanding the importance of education. My grandparents escaped Nazi Germany and created a life in Chicago, instilling in my dad the value of learning. Throughout my years of schooling, my dad was president of our high school’s school board. My mom always encouraged me to further myself too. No matter what, you could always learn. I learned the value of education, and not just to get into a “good” college. I am very grateful for my upbringing.

            It’s hard to define what exactly drew me to teaching, but I think I liked the constant motion in the school building. Everyone has a role, responsibilities, and a general sense of purpose.  Every day was a challenge, and every day I came in determined to be better. The relationships and watching the students growing in front of me made it worth it.

As I reflect on my role as a teacher, I am amazed at the craziness of the last two years. Classes that were remote, hybrid, in person, asynchronous, on a park bench? And sometimes I question what makes this worth it.  Why do we subjugate ourselves to emails overnight, bad professional development, little sick leave, constant changes, and most importantly a lot of disrespect?

I think back to a conversation I had at a math conference a few years back. I was sitting next to what I call a baby teacher (someone who is new to the profession). The workshop was about using your own interests in the classroom. Supposedly if I create word problems about watching The Office, my students will double their engagement. The first prompt was to ask your partner why they chose to teach, the baby teacher’s response still resonates with me.

 “I get to do this”.

That’s right we are lucky as educators. Every day we get the opportunity to shape, better, and learn from the next generation. I am not sure where in education I will end up, but I know I will still be thinking.

            “I get to do this.”

_________________________________

———————————–

Block Club Chicago has posted a report on Smylie Brothers’ new Chicago brewery and restaurant. Smylie Bros, based in Evanston, has been working on the site for two years, being derailed by COVID. They had a soft opening a 3827 N. Broadway starting in September, and worked on hiring a full staff up to this point. More information can be found on Smylie’s main web page.

Monday, January 10

3:00 – 7:00 pm • Country Grill Chicken Truck
Evil Horse Brewing Co., 1338 Main St., Crete, IL (708) 304-2907 Map
Country Grill Chicagoland is a food truck company offering rotisserie chicken and ribs fresh from the spit, homemade salads and pretzels.

5:00 – 8:00 pm • Wandering Cafe Pop-up
Temperance Beer Co., 2000 Dempster St., Evanston, IL (847) 864-1000 Map
Wandering Cafe will be serving up delicious food every Monday in our Tap Room!

7:00 pm • Championship Monday & Half Acre Take the Pint
Region Ale, 1080 US-41, Schererville, IN 219-322-2337 Map
It’s the College Football Playoff Championship game between Alabama and Georgia and our Half Acre Take the Pint Event! Plus, $4 Craft Beers and Boneless & Thigh Wings on Special! Game On, Volume Up!

7:00 – 10:00 pm • Weekly Trivia @ Pilot Project
Pilot Project Brewing, 2140 N. Milwaukee Ave., Chicago (773) 270-5995 Map
Join us in the Pilot Project Heated Tent for free pub trivia every Monday!
Beer Special: Every player will receive one free 4oz taster of beer, booch or cider.
Reservations Available on Tock

Tuesday, January 11

5:00 – 8:00 pm • Wandering Cafe Pop-up
Temperance Beer Co., 2000 Dempster St., Evanston, IL (847) 864-1000 Map
Wandering Cafe will be serving up delicious food every Monday in our Tap Room!

6:00 – 9:00 pm • Beer on the Wall Bottle Share
Beer on the Wall, 106 Main St., Park Ridge, IL 312-720-3732  Map
The BotW Bottle Share has returned! Bring a commercially packaged (sorry, no homebrews) limited/seasonal/out-of-market beer with you, and be ready to share it with others in exchange for samples of their limited/seasonal/out-of-market beer. For example:
Good ideas: Heady Topper, Dark Lord, Side Project anything, Lost Abbey Isabelle Proximus (Izzy).
Bad idea: That beer you bought off our shelves 5 minutes before the event started.
Even worse idea: That beer you bought off the shelves at that big box liquor store a couple weeks ago (at least buy it local, jeez)!
Some other logistic notes:
1. Bottle shares will be held every second Monday from 6-9pm. They will be outdoors when possible and will be held at Off the Wall in the event of inclement weather.
2. If you’re planning to attend, please post what you’re bringing on the event page so we can limit duplicates and potentially build verticals/themes.
3. In the interest of time, we will only enter 1-2 beers per person in the official share. Folks are welcome to bring more but excess beers will only be opened after the formal part of the share is complete.
4. Attendees do not need a ticket to attend, though we may introduce limits later in the interest of space.
5. In the interest of organization and alcoholic liability, BotW staff will collect bottles at the start of the event and open/pour bottles in an orderly fashion. If you are overserved, BotW staff reserves the right to cut you off at any time–NO EXCEPTIONS.
6. When at all possible, please bring two beers of smaller format bottles so folks aren’t getting 0.65 oz of beer.
7. No scoffing or disrespect to other beer drinkers. Scoffers will be sent home with a 6pk of expired Hamms.

6:30 pm • Brother Chimp Beer Dinner
Gammon Coach House, 3 S. Batavia Ave., Batavia, IL (630) 482-3663 Map
Brother Chimp has joined forces with us at Gammon Coach House – Crafted Brews & Comfort Foods to bring you a night of delicious Asian-inspired food and tasty craft beer! Join us Tuesday, January 11th at 6:30 pm for a reception beer and 4-course beer pairing dinner.
Tickets are $65 per person, tax & tip included.
Simply call Gammon Coach House at 630-482-3663 to reserve your spot today!
Space is limited, don’t delay securing your reservation for this special pairing event.

7:00 pm • BTI World Beer Championships
The Beer Temple, 3173 N. Elston Ave., Chicago 312-772-3373 Map
Celebrate the winners of the 2022 Word Beer Championships with Chicago’s own Beverage Testing Institute. Winners will be announced live at The Beer Temple. Beer lovers unite! Join us and learn about the winners, talk beer with BTI’s expert beer judges and get hoppy!
Come see who the winners are, enjoy a beer, and browse the vast beer collection at The Beer Temple.
Admission is free.
Please remember. Due to Chicago Law showing proof of full COVID vaccination is required to attend this event. Info at bevtest.com.

Wednesday, January 12

Mott & Primary Colors Beer Dinner
Mott Street, 1401 N. Ashland Ave. Chicago (773) 687-9977  Map
Join us for a one of a kind dinner experience with the creator of Primary Colors Brewing.
Remember when you were a kid and you’d mix a bunch of fountain sodas together trying to come up with the ultimate flavor? Well Primary Colors is bringing that approach to the world of beer!
Featuring an extravagant multi course feast and three different beer styles, brewed intentionally to be mixed together. Experiment and discover new beer flavors through blending, and embrace your own unique tastes!
Seating times listed in Tock. Book Now
How to RSVP:
1. Book your reservation for Wednesday, January 12th
Spots are limited. Click the link below to reserve today!
2. In the reservation offerings, click “Mott St x Primary Colors Beer Premiere“
Ticket price includes food and beverage. Tax and gratuity not included.
Full dinner and beverage menu available upon request.
3. Feast with us!
Mix. Match. Cheers.

5:30 – 6:30 pm • Yoga & Beer Happy Hour
Buffalo Creek Brewing, 360 Historical Ln., Long Grove, IL 847-821-6140 Map
Join Mindset Yoga every Wednesday at 5:30 in the Rustic Room for Yoga & Beer Happy Hour. Instructed by Mindset Yoga and fresh beer provided by Buffalo Creek Brewing.
Enjoy socially distant spacing while getting in a great workout. This is a ticketed event. Buy your tickets here.
Please bring your Yoga Mat and arrive 15 minutes early.

6:00 – 7:00 pm • FREE Pizza & Pints with Savarino’s Pizza
Will County Brewing Co., 1142 W. Jefferson St., Shorewood, IL (815) 582-4157 Map
If you’ve joined us for Donuts & Drafts then you know the drill! We partnered with our amazing neighbors at Savarino Pizza to bring you FREE* Pizza the second Wednesday of every month! We’ll have a variety of delicious fresh pies available (buffet style) in the taproom starting at 6:00pm until it runs out. See you there!
*with craft beer purchase, limited availability, while supplies last.

6:30 – 9:00 pm • Paint the Pint with Frost Art Studio
Oswego Brewing Co., 61 S. Main St., Oswego, IL (331) 999-1991 Map
Join us for paint the pint night with Tricia from Frost Art Studio! This month we are painting a mason jar to add to our collection! Customize your mason jar with the cutest snowmen.
Class size is limited to please purchase tickets in advance. Ticket sales will end on Monday January 10th at noon.
Class starts at 6:30PM – $30 per painter and includes supplies, instruction, and one 10 ounce OBC beer.
Purchase Tickets here.

Thursday, January 13

3:00 – 7:00 pm • Country Grill Chicken at Mad Hatchet
Mad Hatchet Brewing, 913 Brookforest Ave., Shorewood, IL  Map
Mad Hatchet Brewing welcomes Country Grill. Taking rotisserie to a new level, the widely popular Country Grill will be available at Mad Hatchet Brewing every Thursday! Stay for a pint, or take it to go for a delicious, easy family dinner.

4:00 – 9:00 pm • Trivia & Dinner
Mikerphone Brewing, 121 Garlisch Dr., Elk Grove Village, IL (847) 264-8904 Map
Join us for Whaddayaknow? Free Pub Trivia & dinner!
Nice Buns is serving bao buns from 4p-sellout
This month’s trivia is Harry Potter themed. Play on your own or in a group. Prizes include:
1st Place: $100 gift card
2nd Place: $50 gift card
3rd Place: $25 gift card
Trivia starts at 7p & is free to play. No reservations required. Family-friendly, but must be 21+ to win prizes.

5:30 – 7:00 pm • Networking Untapped Business Mixer
Tapville Social – Fox Valley, 195 Fox Valley Center Dr., Aurora, IL (877) 312-8277 Map
Join Community Collective Business Network on Thursday for Networking Untapped, a FREE after-hours business mixer at Tapville Social in the Fox Valley Mall. Build new relationships and connect with like-minded professionals.
Everyone is welcome! Invite your friends and colleagues. And don’t forget to bring plenty of business cards.
Networking Untapped events are held every 2nd Thursday of the month from 5:30 to 7:00 pm at Tapville Social.

7:00 pm • Bingo and Band Beer Thursdays!
Whiner Beer Co., 1400 W. 46th St., Chicago 312-810-2271 Map
Every Thursday in January we’re hosting bingo night and $5 Band Beers
We’ll start Bingo at 7pm and offer our dry hopped session ale all evening.

8:00 – 11:00 pm • Vocoder Karaoke Night @ IBW Lodge #1
Illuminated Brew Works, 6186 N. Northwest Hwy., Chicago (708) 669-7287 Map
You love Karaoke. You want to be a robot. You want Vocoder Karaoke.
IBW and host John Barlow will be bringing you Vocoder Karaoke the 2nd Thursday of every month.
We take the ancient art of Karaoke and update it with an option to throw a robot voice effect onto your shifting key karaoke singing.
This event is free, it only costs you your ego, your reputation and your standing in civilized society.