What’s New

Have you heard of Seeking Arrangement? They’ve rebranded as Seeking and are no longer a dating site for sugar daddies and babies. Nope, Seeking is now a mainstream dating site.

Seeking has been seriously blowing up of late. Just a few months ago, they had roughly 20 million members. Now? Try 40 million! When you add the fact that people in 130 countries are using Seeking, this is a dating app that may be rivaling Tinder before long.

While it’s true that Seeking Arrangement was focused on helping attractive and successful people meet up, Seeking now claims to be about “identifying what drives us and how we can live our best lives with someone by our side.”

In other words, Seeking is now for everyone, and this is a site that you may regret leaving out of your dating app repertoire.

So, read on to learn more about Seeking in 2022, including its pros and cons, how to sign up, how much it costs, how the platform works, handy tips, and more.

Pros

Super active communityIntuitive search and filtering functionsEnjoyable site design and interfaceThorough verification processGlobal availability (including languages)Certain discounts available

Cons

Somewhat controversialFake accounts and bots slip through the cracksInactive profiles still visibleCan get expensiveScammers

Registering on Seeking is relatively straightforward. You start by stating if you’re a man or woman and whether you prefer meeting men or women (or both). You’re then prompted to answer a few other questions, which helps the site calibrate its matching algorithms (ideally resulting in more successful matching). After a bit more personal information, that’s just about everything to get registered!

(Keep in mind that you may want to be careful about what email you use if you want to remain relatively anonymous.)

After completing the registration process, you’ll need to wait for Seeking to verify your account. This process generally takes 1-2 business days on average, but you may get a faster turnaround.

While it can be frustrating to wait, the account verification process is in the best interest of all the people trying to use the site legitimately. Unfortunately, some scammers and bots still manage their way through, so it doesn’t appear to be a perfect process.

Any Free Features?

If you’re worried about immediately shelling out a ton of money to use Seeking, luckily that’s not the case. Once you’ve registered and been verified, you’re free to start browsing around (see what we did there?).

This is nice because you’re able to get a feel for how Seeking works and what you can reasonably expect in terms of possible matches later on.

The downside is that you will be fairly limited with what you’re able to do. For example, you won’t be able to contact other members of Seeking for free.

Like many dating apps nowadays, Seeking wants to get you on their platform and get you thinking about all the beautiful and successful people you could potentially meet. This means that members will be more likely to open up their wallets in order to gain complete access to the site.

If you think that’s a frustrating business model, you’re definitely not alone. For better or worse, it’s becoming more and more normal in the dating site community. So, you may as well get used to it and at least enjoy the benefit of browsing for free. There are some sites where you can’t even do that without paying.

Seeking may also offer free memberships to certain clients that are particularly “desirable.” You can apply for the free membership once you’ve registered.

Setting Up Your Profile

After entering in your basic info as part of the registration process, you’ll be all set. And how Once you’ve registered and been verified, you can now set up your Seeking profile.

You’ll need to choose a username and upload a photo. We recommend going with something reasonably “adult” (as in not immature, like “sexgod69”). You’ll also want to choose a flattering photo. And please don’t be one of those people who uses a group photo on dating sites! Ultimately, your profile is a big part of your first impression, so take some time with it.

As part of your profile, you have the ability to list lots of information. You can add your height, education, relationship status, children, etc. There are a wide variety of relationship statuses you can pick, from “married but looking” and “separated” to “open relationship” and more.

You can also add your income and net worth, which may seem weird to you if you’re more used to traditional dating apps.

In order to try to make matching as seamless as possible, the profile set-up gets a bit complex. For example, you have to pick different “tags” that give more detail about what you’re looking for on the Seeking platform. Some of the tags include different character traits and preferences such as “flexibility,” “attentiveness,” “monogamous,” etc.

Lastly, you need to write up a little bio for the “About Me” section. It’s best to be honest but also modest, if that makes sense. You don’t want to sell yourself too short, but you also don’t want to be way over the top. So, keep that in mind as you try to craft a compelling little bio. Try to have it reflect who you really are. If you’re funny, be funny, for example.

How Much Does Seeking Cost?

As we said, Seeking can be joined for free. And, if you’re an attractive and/or quite successful individual, you may be able to get to use the site for free.

To actually become a verified member, however, you’ll have to shell out $50 for a background check. For this, you don’t have to verify income at least. Getting verified is a good way to make others feel like you can be trusted right off the bat, especially—let’s be honest—if you’re a man (and particularly an older man).

While Seeking memberships can end up costing a significant amount for men, many of these members come from wealthy backgrounds, meaning it shouldn’t be too much of an issue. If you’re looking to use Seeking as a mainstream dating site, however, be aware that it might end up costing you more than other dating sites out there.

Bottom Line Costs

Current premium membership packages certainly aren’t cheap for the average person, but this isn’t an average dating site:

1 month premium = $90/month3 months premium = $80/month6 months premium = $70/month

As you can see, you’ll get a better monthly rate if you pay for more months up front, which is standard with dating sites (and a lot of subscriptions in general).

Using Seeking To Find a Hookup

Okay, so we’ve covered getting registered, getting verified, getting your profile set up, and the cost of using Seeking.

But what about the thing you’re actually interested in Seeking for? Dating, that is.

The simple answer is that Seeking may very well be a good option for finding dates. With its large user base of over 40 million people all around the world, chances are good that you can find some compatible people in your area (or who are close enough).

So, in general, it’s not that hard to get dates on Seeking. That said, it can be highly competitive—especially if you’re a young woman, thanks to the high female-to-male ratio.

One thing that helps you get matched up on Seeking is the fact that it has a sleek, modern-feeling interface. While some dating sites have an outdated or downright spammy look to them, Seeking has clearly invested in creating a good user experience when it comes to the interface and user friendliness.

Since browsing around is intuitive and straightforward, it doesn’t take long to start finding people to message on Seeking. You can even join “VIP rooms” if you opt for the Diamond Membership, which clocks in at $250 each month—nope, not cheap! These rooms, however, will help you get around the BS of scammers and fake profiles, since every member there has to be verified with a full background check.

Even the basic search functions are really helpful as well. Right away you can sort users into useful categories like “most active” or “new members.”

Keep in mind, however, especially as Seeking transitions into a more mainstream dating app, that not everyone will be looking to get down and dirty right away. There will be many people who want to build a relationship rather than simply casually hooking up. A good mentality to have is to simply view the site as a way to meet people, and then take it from there.

Does Seeking Work? Or Is It a Scam?

Overall, you could say that Seeking is pretty much as advertised. As it’s transitioning to becoming a more mainstream dating site, it will be interesting to see if its user base becomes more diversified.

With more than 40 million users, there’s certainly some people out there who you are likely compatible with. How much time and effort you have/want to put in and how much money you have will be a factor in how successful your search for dates is.

While Seeking is a legitimate platform with a global presence and tons of users, it’s also true that there are many unhappy reviews online. People using sites such as TrustPilot and sitejabber have given an average rating of just 1.5 stars out of 5 for Seeking.

That said, it’s important to remember that people generally go on these sites either because they’re incredibly pleased or extremely dissatisfied. This naturally means that reviews tend to be skewed. Nonetheless, it’s not exactly encouraging to see so many unhappy customers.

So, if you want to sign up for Seeking you may want to do your own due diligence by exploring online reviews like those mentioned above.

Here are some other tips to help ensure that you have a positive experience.

Be Upfront About Expectations

You’re going to want to be transparent on Seeking, which is really the case for any dating site. If you’re looking for casual hookups, say so. If you’re looking to build something more meaningful, make that clear. Beating around the bush and/or being openly dishonest will not get you anywhere good.

Be Authentic

Yeah, yeah, this is as cliché as it gets. It’s true in this case, though. If you aren’t really a While this is a bit of a cliché, it’s true when it comes to dating sites and builds on the last tip. You won’t end up with matches that are a natural fit for you if you’re not yourself.

Spend Time on Your Profile

Again, this is true of all dating sites, not just Seeking. Think of your profile as a kind of billboard—you’re putting yourself out there for anyone who drives by to see. This is your virtual first impression, and it matters in terms of how much attention you draw. You want to find a careful balance between intriguing and mysterious and open and honest.

In essence, you want to do your best to stand out, but your profile also shouldn’t be weird or off-putting. If you’re unsure about your profile, see about getting a second opinion from someone you trust. Above all, don’t lie. Boosting yourself by one inch of height (or length…) is one thing, but two or three or more will definitely be obvious. You don’t want to set yourself up to fail by being disingenuous.

So, is Seeking Legit?

Yes, overall Seeking is a legitimate dating site. Like many dating sites out there, you will find scammers, bots, and inactive accounts. Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do about that. As long as you’re careful and use common sense, you should have no problems finding legit matches on Seeking.

A Few More Tips

Before wrapping up, here are some more hookup site tips, which should apply well beyond Seeking. That said, they’re particularly pertinent to Seeking, so you’ll want to keep them in mind!

Beware of Scammers and Catfishers

Scammers definitely make their way onto Seeking, even though the site does a pretty good job at maintaining a legit platform. Unfortunately, pretty much any dating site you go to will have bots and fake profiles trying to scam people. In essence, these exist just to try to get people to spend money even though they are not the person they are pretending to be. This is known colloquially as “catfishing” and here it’s used for purposes of extortion.

In short, beware of scammers. If things seem too easy and suspicious in any way, it’s probably someone just looking to get money out of you before disappearing.

Keep an Eye on Your Bill

Seeking is in the business of hooking people up, but they’re also in the business of making money. Just scroll up and take a look at those prices. $250 for one month of the “Diamond” membership? The pricing is smart because they know their audience—they’re truly catering to upper-class people who average 6- or 7-figure incomes.

So, just be aware that you may want to keep an eye on your bill to ensure that you’re not racking up more money than you’re trying to spend. You might want to take it slowly and go with a one- or three-month membership rather than a six-month one, for example. This way you can feel out the site. And hey, you might just meet someone who you want a more serious, long-term relationship with (though we must say that’s not the typical relationship sought after on Seeking).

Then again, you might not care how much the site costs you if you’re wealthy.

Matches Don’t Always Come Easily

While there are forty million+ people on Seeking, that doesn’t mean matches are guaranteed to come right away. There’s generally a lot of competition, especially for younger women, for example, and you may have to really work to stand out on such a large platform.

Ultimately, you’ll want to stay patient the best you can. Just because things don’t work out right away doesn’t mean that they won’t eventually. You may go on some awkward dates, but that’s often just a part of life. Sooner or later you’re likely to match with someone who you’re really compatible with. Just be sure to give yourself the time, which means don’t give up too soon and don’t force the issue.

Be Safe

It’s always advisable to meet someone in a public place for your first meet up. A coffee shop or restaurant is perfect, for example. This way you’re much less likely to face danger from people with bad intentions. This isn’t meant to scare anyone; it’s just meant to help keep people safe. In general, trust your instincts and you should be fine.

Final Verdict

So, is Seeking really worth it?

That comes down to you, ultimately. Your wants, your needs, your bank account, your age, etc. If you’re just an average Joe, you may want to stick to other dating sites.

All in all, Seeking has a massive customer base all around the world, an intuitive and user-friendly interface, and relatively reasonable pricing. It also has robust filtering and searching tools, VIP rooms, verified profiles, and other useful features. If you’re trying to find a date or maybe even true love, Seeking might end up being a good option for you.

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Whether by design or happenstance, Writers Theatre has focused on the theme of women in competition and collaboration this season. In Eleanor Burgess’s Wife of a Salesman, two actors portraying Linda Loman and the “woman from Boston” in a contemporary riff on Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman wonder why their characters in the play-within-the-play have to fall into the tired tropes of women fighting over a (mediocre) man, while they share their own stories about maintaining relationships and careers simultaneously.

Athena
Through 7/10: Wed 3 and 7:30 PM, Thu-Fri 7:30 PM, Sat 3 and 7:30 PM, Sun 2 and 6 PM; Writers Theatre, 325 Tudor Ct., Glencoe, 847-242-6000, writerstheatre.org, $35-$90.

Now in Gracie Gardner’s Athena, we meet two high school girls who are competitive fencers. Over the brisk 80-minute course of Jessica Fisch’s staging, Athena (Mary Tilden) and Mary Wallace (Aja Singletary) feint, parry, lunge, riposte, and peel back layers of themselves even while wearing the protective garb of their sport. (Mary Wallace chooses a flat chest protector, and tells Athena, who sports one with molded breasts, “The plastic boobs just slow you down. They just guide someone’s blade right to a hit.”)

For whatever reason, women talking honestly about their lives without reference to male definitions of conflict and resolution still feels like a radical proposition (even decades after the Bechdel Test came into being). Sure, the two-character setup of Gardner’s play does mean that there are some binary differences between the two girls. Athena lives with her single dad in New York City and slips (underage, of course) into nightclubs where her older sister DJs. By contrast, Mary Wallace is a more sheltered suburbanite with a bookworm bent. (Though it’s worth noting that Athena gave herself that mythological name as a nom de guerre.)

But what’s lovely about Gardner’s play is how skillfully it intertwines the anxieties and doubts common to all adolescents with the growing confidence of the two as friendly competitors. The precise fight choreography of David Blixt and Christian Kelly-Sordelet, which plays out on Arnel Sancianco’s cool minimalist runway set (it almost feels like a Holodeck from Star Trek, particularly in combination with Paul Toben’s stark white lighting), provides cunning physical metaphors for the ways they get close, pull back, and meet each other head-on. The piste is both a proving ground for their desire to qualify for nationals (and possibly the Olympics), and a place where they concentrate on themselves and each other. If the final bout seems to be moving into a slightly predictable dynamic, that’s merely a minor disappointment for a play that asks us to consider the possibility that teenage girls know how to land hits, but also how to have each other’s backs.

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In the Chicago premiere of Sarah Treem’s When We Were Young and Unafraid with AstonRep,a group of multitudinous women navigate domesticity, violence, and identity in a cultural landscape that both oppresses and empowers. Set in 1972, just before the Roe v. Wade decision and 22 years before the passage of the Violence Against Women Act, the story is centered on Agnes (Julie Partyka), a middle-aged mother who runs a stealth domestic violence shelter out of her bed-and-breakfast on a remote island in Washington. She offers protection and safety to each of the women who comes through her door, inviting them into the world she’s created away from the turmoil of the real one. After she meets Mary Anne (JoAnn Birt), the latest woman to seek refuge, it’s clear that Agnes, who was once a woman ahead of her time, has fallen out of touch with the new age of feminism being ushered in by the next generation.

When We Were Young and Unafraid
Through 6/12: Thu-Sat 7:30 PM, Sun 3 PM; the Edge Off Broadway, 1133 W. Catalpa, 773-828-9129, astonrep.com, $20.

It’s impossible to engage with the show’s subject matter without considering the social context in which it’s being performed. When We Were Young and Unafraid frames Roe as a signal of hope—for the younger characters, it’s a possibility for equality and opportunity. While Agnes poignantly questions the finality of the decision, it’s ultimately an indication that the women she cares for will be safe. As the Supreme Court looks to overturn Roe v. Wade in 2022, the script takes a stance on what an America without choice looks like while also acknowledging that progress, in both a personal and political sense, isn’t linear. Director Sara Pavlak McGuire and the ensemble handle the profound subject matter with candor and care, while powerfully demonstrating the connections amongst the characters, influenced by their experiences and outlooks.

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The energy in the Den Theater last Thursday was electric, as The Secretaries, writtenby Omer Abbas Salem and directed by Laura Alacalá Baker, made its highly anticipated debut with First Floor Theater. The dark comedic play was first developed through Goodman Theatre’s Future Labs and marks Salem’s first full production as a playwright in Chicago.

The Secretaries, set in 1944 Berlin, centers four German women as they compete to be the Führer’s personal secretary. In the span of 90 minutes, they engage in morally dubious behavior and sabotage—all in the name of public interest and national honor. If this sounds ludicrous, that’s because it is, as Salem’s script embraces eccentricity to explore themes of complicity and the desire to act in one’s self-interest. 

The Secretaries
Through 6/11: Thu-Sat 7:30 PM, Sun 2 PM; industry nights Mon 5/23 and 6/6, 7:30 PM; Den Theatre, 1331 N. Milwaukee, firstfloortheater.com, $25-$35 ($20 students).

When the play’s central character, Hannah (LaKecia Harris), opens the show, it’s impossible to take your eyes off of her as she struts across the stage in her bright blue and hot pink suit with an alluring sense of confidence and control. Soon she meets Helga (Emilie Modaff), the head secretary and Hannah’s boss, whose German pride and love for cauliflower is unmatched.

The audience is eventually introduced to two more secretaries, Helena (Sarah Price) and Henrietta (Tina Muñoz Pandya). The four women are each dressed in full Aryan drag, a bold creative choice that elevates the production’s avant-garde nature. Price’s portrayal of Helena is the highlight of the night as she fully leans into the outlandishness of her character, resulting in a shockingly hilarious and seductive performance. 

Despite such a strong opening and tremendous acting across the board, The Secretaries soon loses steam. While it is marketed as a parable, the play’s fast-moving, hard-to-follow script prevents it from being easily interpreted as such. On the First Floor Theater website, The Secretaries is described as “fearsome, outrageous, and absurd.” However, the production’s pursuit of such absurdity leads to an unsatisfying viewing experience, as you may spend more time struggling to decipher what is happening onstage, as opposed to becoming invested in the characters and the work as a whole. 

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If you’re a fan of Henry Louis Gates’s Finding Your Roots on PBS, then you can probably relate to Annabelle Lee Revak’s impulse to create a musical out of the World War I-era letters of her great-great-grandfather, Joe Loula. As in Gates’s program, the most interesting details in Revak’s Notes & Letters with Underscore Theatre Company come from the personal relationships uncovered that illuminate our images of what a particular time in history must have been like.

Here, we meet Loula (Sam Martin), a recent immigrant from what was then known as Bohemia (meaning, not far from Prague), newly arrived in Chicago in 1916—and very happy to be far from the war raging over Europe. A skilled carpenter, he finds work building pianos in the shop owned by Charlie Williams (Michael Mejia). Williams’s shop is also a haven for his girlfriend, Nora Duchek (Caitlin Dobbins), who works at the Green Mill and is trying to convince Charlie to let her take an active hand in the business, and for Olivia Koupek (Katy Campbell), a budding composer who is trying to figure out how to sell songs to King Oliver, who is in residence at the Green Mill.

Notes & Letters
Through 5/28: Fri-Sat 7:30 PM, Sun 2 PM; also Wed 5/25, 7:30 PM and Sat 5/28, 2 PM; Richard Christiansen Theater at Victory Gardens, 2433 N. Lincoln, 773-871-3000, underscoretheatre.org, $32 ($27 senior, $22 military/first responder, $20 industry, $15 student).

A series of increasingly gloomy headlines from the Tribune make it clear that the war is going to come to America. Meantime, Joe’s growing attraction to Olivia and the cosmopolitan charms of Chicago cause him to pull away from the fiancée at home he’s promised to send for. 

What’s odd is that, though Revak is drawing on family history, there’s a sense of the schematic running through these characters and their relationships that undercuts the generally strong songs. The latter include the aching folk standard “Redbird, Bluebird”; the comic lament “Independent Woman Blues,” in which Charlie and Joe commiserate about women who know their own minds and don’t mind letting the men know it; and Olivia’s Oliver song, “Sublime,” which provides a terrific riff on the “hey, kids, let’s sit down and fix this song all together” trope as they figure out syncopation. (Kudos to music director Anna Wegener on piano, Anthony Scandora on drums, and Abigail Cline on upright bass for swinging live accompaniment.)

Leah Geis’s staging does allow the charm to come through even as the storyline feels a little forced, and it’s hard not to empathize with these characters. They may be living over 100 years away from us, but when they connect with all the hope and passion of young lovers, Notes & Letters shows possibilities not yet present in this production. 

Read More

Reproductive rights cuts both ways: the government deciding that you may not have a child comes from the same authoritarianism that tells you that you must continue an unwanted pregnancy. Given current grim news about the impending SCOTUS decision overturning Roe v. Wade, that thought is unavoidable when viewing Zoe Kazan’s dystopian After the Blast. 

After the Blast
Through 6/11: Thu-Sat 7:30 PM, Sun 3 PM; industry night Mon 5/30, 7:30 PM; understudy night Wed 6/8, 7:30 PM; Den Theatre, 1331 N. Milwaukee, brokennosetheatre.com, pay what you can.

It’s not really what Kazan’s play (now in its local premiere with Broken Nose Theatre under JD Caudill’s direction) is mostly about, but as times change, so do the meanings of the stories we tell. In fact, I’d argue that After the Blast (which I first saw in 2017 at New York’s Lincoln Center) is really about the human need to create stories in order to survive, particularly when survival at best is dreary and at worst is unbearable. 

Anna (Kim Boler) and Oliver (Ruben Carrazana) are a married childless couple who were both raised underground; a series of disasters has rendered the surface of Earth uninhabitable. While Oliver works with a group of other scientists to figure out when (or if) humans can ever go back “up top,” Anna broods over not having a child of her own; in a vicious circle, she and Oliver have been denied access to needed reproductive technology because of her mental health, which makes her more depressed, which makes it harder to get approval. Unlike many of the other underground dwellers, Anna refuses to “sim,” or use simulation programs, to soothe herself. (Well, maybe to make the otherwise-unpalatable food available to humans edible, but otherwise, no dice.) 

Running out of options and worried about his wife’s emotional state, Oliver brings home a small robot for Anna to train as an assistant for the blind, telling her that it will give her a sense of purpose. She names the machine Arthur, and forms a bond with him, almost as if he were an actual child.

Voiced and operated by Arielle Leverett, the puppet/robot (cunningly designed by Jabberwocky Marionettes) becomes an ingratiating presence, and one that does indeed lift Anna’s spirits. (A scene where they harmonize together on 4 Non Blondes’ “What’s Up” is particularly endearing.) But there’s an untruth at the heart of why Arthur is there, and when Anna finds out, it threatens to destroy her marriage. Boler and Carrazana embody the best and worst of married life, where complementary personality traits (Anna’s emotional receptivity and Oliver’s determined cheeriness) sometimes sustain each other, and at other times make it feel like a prison sentence.

Therese Ritchie’s appropriately stark setting, with paintings of green vines on the black walls, suggests the desire for the humans onstage to rise back up out of the earth. Kazan’s post-apocalyptic fable asks us to consider how much we depend on simulations (or lies, if you will), to keep us going when planning for the future itself feels like a cruel falsehood.

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The latest print issue of the Reader is the issue of May 12, 2022.

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Download the full 2022 editorial calendar is here (PDF). See our information page for advertising opportunities.

Read More

If you’re a fan of Henry Louis Gates’s Finding Your Roots on PBS, then you can probably relate to Annabelle Lee Revak’s impulse to create a musical out of the World War I-era letters of her great-great-grandfather, Joe Loula. As in Gates’s program, the most interesting details in Revak’s Notes & Letters with Underscore Theatre Company come from the personal relationships uncovered that illuminate our images of what a particular time in history must have been like.

Here, we meet Loula (Sam Martin), a recent immigrant from what was then known as Bohemia (meaning, not far from Prague), newly arrived in Chicago in 1916—and very happy to be far from the war raging over Europe. A skilled carpenter, he finds work building pianos in the shop owned by Charlie Williams (Michael Mejia). Williams’s shop is also a haven for his girlfriend, Nora Duchek (Caitlin Dobbins), who works at the Green Mill and is trying to convince Charlie to let her take an active hand in the business, and for Olivia Koupek (Katy Campbell), a budding composer who is trying to figure out how to sell songs to King Oliver, who is in residence at the Green Mill.

Notes & Letters
Through 5/28: Fri-Sat 7:30 PM, Sun 2 PM; also Wed 5/25, 7:30 PM and Sat 5/28, 2 PM; Richard Christiansen Theater at Victory Gardens, 2433 N. Lincoln, 773-871-3000, underscoretheatre.org, $32 ($27 senior, $22 military/first responder, $20 industry, $15 student).

A series of increasingly gloomy headlines from the Tribune make it clear that the war is going to come to America. Meantime, Joe’s growing attraction to Olivia and the cosmopolitan charms of Chicago cause him to pull away from the fiancée at home he’s promised to send for. 

What’s odd is that, though Revak is drawing on family history, there’s a sense of the schematic running through these characters and their relationships that undercuts the generally strong songs. The latter include the aching folk standard “Redbird, Bluebird”; the comic lament “Independent Woman Blues,” in which Charlie and Joe commiserate about women who know their own minds and don’t mind letting the men know it; and Olivia’s Oliver song, “Sublime,” which provides a terrific riff on the “hey, kids, let’s sit down and fix this song all together” trope as they figure out syncopation. (Kudos to music director Anna Wegener on piano, Anthony Scandora on drums, and Abigail Cline on upright bass for swinging live accompaniment.)

Leah Geis’s staging does allow the charm to come through even as the storyline feels a little forced, and it’s hard not to empathize with these characters. They may be living over 100 years away from us, but when they connect with all the hope and passion of young lovers, Notes & Letters shows possibilities not yet present in this production. 

Read More

Reproductive rights cuts both ways: the government deciding that you may not have a child comes from the same authoritarianism that tells you that you must continue an unwanted pregnancy. Given current grim news about the impending SCOTUS decision overturning Roe v. Wade, that thought is unavoidable when viewing Zoe Kazan’s dystopian After the Blast. 

After the Blast
Through 6/11: Thu-Sat 7:30 PM, Sun 3 PM; industry night Mon 5/30, 7:30 PM; understudy night Wed 6/8, 7:30 PM; Den Theatre, 1331 N. Milwaukee, brokennosetheatre.com, pay what you can.

It’s not really what Kazan’s play (now in its local premiere with Broken Nose Theatre under JD Caudill’s direction) is mostly about, but as times change, so do the meanings of the stories we tell. In fact, I’d argue that After the Blast (which I first saw in 2017 at New York’s Lincoln Center) is really about the human need to create stories in order to survive, particularly when survival at best is dreary and at worst is unbearable. 

Anna (Kim Boler) and Oliver (Ruben Carrazana) are a married childless couple who were both raised underground; a series of disasters has rendered the surface of Earth uninhabitable. While Oliver works with a group of other scientists to figure out when (or if) humans can ever go back “up top,” Anna broods over not having a child of her own; in a vicious circle, she and Oliver have been denied access to needed reproductive technology because of her mental health, which makes her more depressed, which makes it harder to get approval. Unlike many of the other underground dwellers, Anna refuses to “sim,” or use simulation programs, to soothe herself. (Well, maybe to make the otherwise-unpalatable food available to humans edible, but otherwise, no dice.) 

Running out of options and worried about his wife’s emotional state, Oliver brings home a small robot for Anna to train as an assistant for the blind, telling her that it will give her a sense of purpose. She names the machine Arthur, and forms a bond with him, almost as if he were an actual child.

Voiced and operated by Arielle Leverett, the puppet/robot (cunningly designed by Jabberwocky Marionettes) becomes an ingratiating presence, and one that does indeed lift Anna’s spirits. (A scene where they harmonize together on 4 Non Blondes’ “What’s Up” is particularly endearing.) But there’s an untruth at the heart of why Arthur is there, and when Anna finds out, it threatens to destroy her marriage. Boler and Carrazana embody the best and worst of married life, where complementary personality traits (Anna’s emotional receptivity and Oliver’s determined cheeriness) sometimes sustain each other, and at other times make it feel like a prison sentence.

Therese Ritchie’s appropriately stark setting, with paintings of green vines on the black walls, suggests the desire for the humans onstage to rise back up out of the earth. Kazan’s post-apocalyptic fable asks us to consider how much we depend on simulations (or lies, if you will), to keep us going when planning for the future itself feels like a cruel falsehood.

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Are you a would-be sugar baby or sugar daddy? If so, you may have already explored some of the options out there when it comes to sugar sites and apps. But hey, there are a ton! This article is all about helping break them down for you so you can spend less time trying different sites and instead lock down one or two that are best for you.

As you might imagine, sugar sites have gained a ton in popularity in recent years. This is in part because society has become more accepting of sugar relationships, but also simply because of economic factors. There are many wealthy men out there who have gotten wealthier, and there are many young women out there who have taken on student loans or other forms of debt. These circumstances have created a ton of demand for sugar relationships.

Unfortunately, many of the sugar sites that have popped up are not at all worth your time. They’re absolutely full of bots and scammers and may not have any real customer service or support infrastructure to help you out if you have a problem.

So, read on to go through our new 2022 rankings of the very best sites for sugar babies and sugar daddies.

Best Sugar Baby Sites and Apps in 2022

RankSiteBest For1.Seeking ArrangementBest overall2.Ashley MadisonJudgement-free sugar dating3.Secret BenefitsBest gender ratio4.SugarDaddy.comLargest community5.SugarDaddyMeetVerifying someone’s wealth6.SugarDaddyForMeQuick matching7.What’s Your PriceMost transparent8.Sugar SearchBest search function9.R/SugarBabyBest free platform10.Elite SinglesMeet sophisticated babies11.Established MenBest for long-term arrangements12.RichMeetBeautifulMost secure13.Miss TravelBest for traveling14.Wealthy MenBest for rich daddies15.AgeMatchFind younger women16.SudyBest user interface17.SugarBookBest sugar app for babies

1.  Seeking Arrangement – Best and most popular sugar dating platform

Seeking (formerly known as Seeking Arrangement) is likely the most popular and well-known sugar site around. It’s something like the Tinder of sugar dating sites. Seeking has recently tried to go a bit more mainstream, but it remains one of the most popular sugar sites. 

With over 10 million users in more than 130 countries, it’s never been easier to get into the sugar relationship of your dreams. Seeking wins points for having discreet billing and good cybersecurity, though scammers and bots may still manage to slip through the cracks. You can check out our full review here.

From a baby’s perspective:

Sugar babies also appreciate Seeking because it’s made it easier than ever for young people to find a daddy who will spoil them and make them feel like royalty. Seeking has a lot of transparency, so babies can even see the net worth of the various daddies they may be interested in. The site is also free for sugar babies (once again, it’s the daddies who pay!). 

From a daddy’s perspective:

Seeking is definitely a great site for sugar daddies or would-be sugar daddies. That’s because it features a very high female-to-male ratio, meaning that there’s more competition among the females than the males. Sugar daddies love Seeking because they can typically find women there who are totally open for low-key, no-strings-attached relationships. Daddies generally have to pay to use Seeking, like most sugar sites.

2.  Ashley Madison – Judgement-free sugar option

You’ve probably heard of Ashley Madison and maybe seen their ads on *those* sites: “Life is short. Have an affair.” So, right off the bat, you know what you’re getting into with Ashley Madison. It’s full of people who are looking for something casual (and often extra-marital). Although it has its affair angle, many people have begun using Ashley Madison for sugar relationships. It’s a very open-minded community that both sugar babies and daddies tend to love. 

From a baby’s perspective:

Sugar babies like Ashley Madison because there are quite a lot of older, well-to-do men on there. It’s usually not too hard to find a good match. Plus, sugar babies can use Ashley Madison for free, meaning a lot of younger women have already signed up. Want to learn even more about Ashley Madison? Check out our full review.

From a daddy’s perpsective:

There are quite a few sugar daddies on Ashley Madison. As is usually the case with these sites, the daddies will have to sign up in order to communicate with the women they’re interested in. Unfortunately, there’s no filtering on Ashley Madison to home in on sugar babies. So, sgar daddies will have to take their time and do some digging. You can sort by age preference, though, so there’s that. 

3.  Secret Benefits – Best daddy to baby ratio

Secret Benefits is a pretty underrated sugar site. It has a more streamlined and modern look than many of its competitors. Plus, it’s been successful at attracting a large userbase for a relatively newer site. Since it’s popular in the sugar community, there are people constantly signing up, which can be done for free. Unlike Seeking, this site tends to be more of a 50/50 split, meaning it’s equally competitive among daddies and babies. 

From a baby’s perspective:

Sugar babies get to use Secret Benefits for free, as they do with most other sites. One great aspect of Secret Benefits is they have robust security and moderation, which helps keep everything safe and secure. This means fewer bots and less time wasted. You can also verify your profile with a short video, which will also bring many more sugar daddies your way. Lots of babies have gotten the sugar relationship they were hoping to find with Secret Benefits, so it’s worth a shot!

From a daddy’s perspective:

Like most sugar sites, Secret Benefits requires daddies to purchase credits in order to communicate with babies. That said, it’s a really quick and easy sign-up process. You can create a simple profile and use their handy features to find babies right away. One neat feature is that you can hide your profile and browse profiles anonymously. These privacy features are much appreciated by many daddies who may want to be as discreet as possible.  

4. SugarDaddy.com – Largest community

Sugardaddy.com has been around a long time and has earned a reputation as a reliable sugar site. They definitely made a move early to lock down that url! One thing that is appreciated by both daddies and babies is the fact that all members must get verified. With around ten million members, chances are you can find the kind of sugar relationship you’re hoping to find! The site is roughly one-third daddies and two-third babies. 

Sugardaddy.com has a lot of handy features, but memberships are pretty much required to properly use the site. The site is built around a credit system, and each credit costs $0.25. 

From a baby’s perspective:

As one of the biggest sugar sites, sugardaddy.com has attracted plenty of sugar babies. While some sugar sites look kind of sketchy or outdated, sugardaddy.com has kept its site looking sleek and modern. This appeals to the younger generations who tend to be the babies on these sites. The only real downside for would-be sugar babies on sugardaddy.com is that the site is full of competition with about 65% of the membership being sugar babies.

From a daddy’s perspective:

Since roughly two-thirds of the members on sugardaddy.com are sugar babies, this is a great site for daddies as they’ll have more than their pick of would-be babies. Daddies will need to shell out for credits, but they don’t cost a ton—and hey, you’re supposed to be well off anyway. Privacy is important to sugardaddy.com, so daddies can rest well knowing that it’s a relatively safe and secure site when it comes to privacy and scammers and the like. 

5.  SugarDaddyMeet – Best verification of daddies

SugarDaddyMeet is an exclusive sugar site that has been around for a while now. It limits its membership to the twenty wealthiest countries in the world, helping keep its sugar daddies desirable for would-be sugar babies. It also does this by verifying both overall wealth and annual income, helping ensure that sugar babies don’t get duped. 

From a baby’s perspective:

Sugar babies appreciate SugarDaddyMeet because of its rigorous verification of daddies. This helps keep them from being duped by poor guys pretending to be rich. This helps the site feel more safe and secure. It also uses algorithms to help match you up based on the preferences that you provide. Plus, it’s free for sugar babies—what’s not to like?!

From a daddy’s perspective:

Since there’s thorough verification on SugarDaddyMeet, you can’t sign up for this site unless you have the legit qualifications to be a sugar daddy (i.e. be wealthy). The platform is streamlined and has the feel of most social media sites, making it easy to use and familiar even for first-time users. This is another great option for daddies looking for casual arrangements. 

5.  SugarDaddyForMe – Speedy matching process

SugarDaddyForMe, as you might guess from the name, is all about helping sugar babies find sugar daddies. It’s a well-designed site with a variety of useful features. While this site doesn’t quite have the userbase of the big names above, it’s growing fast. 

From a baby’s perspective:

SugarDaddyForMe is yet another sugar site that’s free for sugar babies, making it another nice option to explore. The sign-up process is simple and there’s no need to verify income like the sugar daddies have to do. That means it’s a reliable site, though. You’ll also get to specify your ideal arrangement, meaning less wasted time all the way around.

From a daddy’s perspective:

SugarDaddyForMe has a unique payment system. Instead of paying for access for various things, the different membership tiers give you a certain amount of time. Besides that, you’ll need to verify your income, which is fairly common for the better sugar sites. Once you’re all set up, you’ll be able to browse around right away. 

6.  What’s Your Price – Most transparent

What’s Your Price offers a very unique style of sugar site. As the name suggests, it’s quite transparent about establishing a financial arrangement. On many sugar sites it’s simply left to the sugar daddy and baby how they want to work it out. But on What’s Your Price, the two sides come to a formalized arrangement that can then make the whole question of finances more of a background thing. This site was also established by the people who created Seeking, which means they have plenty of experience in this domain.

From a baby’s perspective:

Sugar babies appreciated What’s Your Price because it lets them set their price—literally—and avoid sugar daddies who might end up wasting their time. The one downside is that there is plenty of competition among babies on What’s Your Price, with around 3 million members and more joining every day.

From a daddy’s perspective:

Depending on the person, sugar daddies may love or hate What’s Your Price. In many ways, it’s almost like online shopping. That sounds weird to say, but it’s true—and, after all, sugar relationships tend to have a prominent financial component. So, sugar daddies get to scroll attractive women and assess the price that they have listed. You can then bid on anyone you like. These bids are sometimes as low as $10, so you don’t necessarily have to be super wealthy or anything. 

8.  Sugar Search – Best search function

Sugar Search functions, as you might expect, as a way to easily search for a local sugar relationship. At the moment, there are only a handful of cities that are eligible, so you’ll have to check. Some of the more prominent cities are New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, and Houston. Sugar Search verifies accounts, though it’s inevitable that there are some bots and scammers that make their way through. 

From a baby’s perspective:

Sugar Search is a great way for sugar babies to find the sugar daddy they’re looking for wherever they live. Due to the site’s strict verification process, it’s much less likely that babies will end up getting ripped off by some dude pretending to be rich. There are a lot of options here and you’ll be finding someone locally, so there’s a lot to like here.

From a daddy’s perspective:

Sugar daddies will like Sugar Search’s simple sign-up process and the fact that it has a local focus. This greatly increases the chance of being able to meet in person sooner rather than later. There are nice features as well, including an intuitive chat. You can also opt for a pricier membership tier to stand out more when people search. There’s already a good ratio of sugar babies to sugar daddies, though, so competition isn’t too stiff. 

9.  Reddit (r/SugarBaby) – Best free platform

Reddit is one of the internet’s most popular forms of social media not named Instagram, Facebook, or Tiktok, and this is especially the case in North America. Whether you knew it or not, Reddit also has a sugar forum that can be a free way for you to find a sugar relationship. FYI, it tends to be an NSFW page. 

From a baby’s perspective:

Sugar babies can post freely on r/SugarBaby and describe the kind of arrangement they’re looking for. Daddies will message you if they’re interested. There’s a verification process in order to post, but it isn’t that difficult or time-consuming. If you want to explore an alternative to other sugar sites, r/SugarBaby is worth a try.

From a daddy’s perspective:

There are more than 80,000 people on r/SugarBaby. So, while it might not compete with the likes of a Seeking, it can still get the job done. You’re not allowed to post as a sugar daddy, so you’ll have to browse through and DM the babies you’re interested in. One big plus is that it’s completely free to browse and message people, unlike most the sugar sites listed here. 

10.  Elite Singles – Most sophisticated

Elite Singles is not technically a sugar site. Instead, it bills itself as a luxury dating site that focuses on a specific clientele, one that’s educated, successful, and chic. That said, it so happens that many people who are educated and successful are also looking for sugar relationships. So, Elite Singles may be worth a shot for those looking for that kind of arrangement. 

From a baby’s perspective:

Sugar babies may benefit from Elite Singles but it’s important to keep in mind that it isn’t strictly a sugar site. So, well you may be able to find people who are looking for that kind of relationship, it’s no guarantee. Instead, you might find people who are looking for a more serious partner. To fit in on this site, it’s best that you’re educated and somewhat successful (or at least working hard to get there).

From a daddy’s perspective:

Elite Singles is perfect for people who are interested in finding other intelligent and independent people. The people here are not necessarily looking for sugar relationsihps, so you’ll have to keep that in mind. You may come across many people who are looking to find something serious, which means this may or may not be a good fit for you. 

11.  Established Men – Best for long-term arrangements

Established Men isn’t all that different from Elite Singles in that it focuses on a certain kind of clientele. In this case, it’s all about successful men. On the other hand, there are a lot of people interested in sugar relationships, so it’s got that going for it. You may have to get to know a few people to see who works best for you, as there will be people looking for different things here.

From a baby’s perspective:

Sugar babies looking for daddies have a lot to like about Established Men. It does a good job of keeping its clientele to men who are legitimately successful. That said, there’s a fair amount of competition so you’ll have to do your best to stand out from the rest of the crowd.

From a daddy’s perspective:

Sugar daddies have to pay to use Established Men, which is pretty normal for sugar sites. Assuming you are successful, however, it shouldn’t pose any real problem. The site lets you flirt with women and send them gifts. There’s not too much that sets Established Men apart from other sites.

12.  RichMeetBeautiful – Most secure

RichMeetBeautiful has a name that gives away that it’s a sugar site pretty quickly. After all, the stereotype of sugar relationships is a young, beautiful woman and an older, wealthy man. That said, you don’t have to be outrageously wealthy to be a sugar daddy or use a site like RichMeetBeautiful. One big plus that this platform has going for it is its security as it uses top-of-the-line encryption. 

From a baby’s perspective:

RichMeetsBeautiful is not necessarily only a sugar site but it definitely has that vibe. In general, it’s another good option for sugar babies to find sugar daddies, though there may be people who are looking for something more like a traditional relationship.

From a daddy’s perspective:

You can be “rich” in more ways than one on RichMeetBeautiful. For example, your experience, style, passion, romantic sensibilities, etc. all contribute to making you an attractive partner (in addition to your wealth). There are plenty of young women on here, making it a worthy platform for would-be sugar daddies to check out. It also sports an algorithm that does a good job of pairing people up by personal preferences. 

13.  Miss Travel – Best for the adventurous

Miss Travel revolves around a really cool concept. For people with the means and/or time/flexibility, it encourages you to travel to/with people who may be a good match for you. Travel is one of the perks that many sugar babies like best, so Miss Travel is a smart play on that aspect of sugar relationships. 

From a baby’s perspective:

Sugar babies can generally count on a variety of perks: free dinners, gifts, even cash. Yet getting to travel is a unique perk that offers social and cultural opportunities as well. Miss Travel can help you see the world and get spoiled all at the same time by connecting you with a sugar daddy. The “Create a Trip” feature lets you plan everything out with ease. All in all, Miss Travel is definitely worth checking out if you’re a sugar baby who’s excited about travel or simply having sugar daddies come to you. 

From a daddy’s perspective:

Sugar daddies may be fans of Miss Travel if they are looking for relationships with a little bit of distance from their home base. For example, they could use it to check out areas where they will be traveling for business. It’s also possible to pay for women to come to you, making Miss Travel a really cool option that’s worth considering. 

14.  Wealthy Men – Most straightforward

Wealthy Men is just about what it sounds like. It’s a sugar site that features sugar daddies for sugar babies to find. It even has a guarantee for paying members that they will connect with someone within three months. 

From a baby’s perspective:

Wealthy Men is straightforward and lets sugar babies find a sugar daddy near them. Unfortunately, there isn’t a free version for sugar babies like there is with most other sugar sites, so this one might be worth skipping unless you get desperate.

From a daddy’s perspective:

Wealthy Men verifies income ($85k minimum), so that will be your first step. You also have to say how much you’re willing to spend on a given sugar baby, which can be a little awkward if you’re just getting into this or don’t have a ton of money. After that, though, the site is relatively straightforward and there are plenty of sugar babies here. 

15.  AgeMatch – Best for large age gaps

AgeMatch isn’t explicitly a platform for sugar dating. It can easily function this way, however, as it’s specifically about matching people up with a large age gap. As many sugar relationships feature a significant age cap, this means there are plenty of sugar opportunities on AgeMatch if you want to explore that option. 

From a baby’s perspective:

Sugar babies may like AgeMatch if they are generally into older men. The only thing is that it isn’t explicitly about setting up sugar arrangements, so you’ll need to be clear about that if that’s your expectation.

From a daddy’s perspective:

If you want a strictly sugar relationship, AgeMatch may not be the best platform for you as that’s not strictly the idea there. But if you like the idea of spoiling someone who simply likes you for who you are, this could be a great option to check out. 

16.  Sudy – Best sugar mobile app

Sudy is a newer sugar option that mainly focuses on its app. It has slick functionality and everything is set up quite intuitively. It’s straightforward in terms of how you find potential matches and talk with them. It’s toward the bottom of our list simply because it’s new and doesn’t yet have a large userbase. 

From a baby’s perspective:

Sudy is like most sugar sites in that there are more women than men. What that means is that it can be competitive. Sugar babies do benefit from the fact that Sudy verifies the daddies, which helps keep everyone safer and less likely to be wasting their time. 

From a daddy’s perspective:

Sudy verifies income of sugar daddies, and it’s a fairly steep minimum ($200k). There’s a ton of women on Sudy, though, so you should be in good shape so long as you meet that minimum. These women will know that you’re plenty wealthy to satisfy them (at least most of them), meaning that they’ll be looking forward to meeting you. There have been some complaints online about difficulty deleting profiles, so you may want to proceed carefully if privacy is a concern of yours. 

17.  SugarBook – Best for alternative arrangements

SugarBook is yet another sugar site that focuses on pairing up daddies and babies. That said, it recognizes that arrangements don’t have to be purely financial (especially in terms of luxury gifts). There are some babies who may be looking for legitimate connections, business opportunities, help with paying their university tuition, etc. 

From a baby’s perspective:

Sugar babies have to pay up for more access to the site and all its features, but you can get by decently without doing so. You might try it out free and see if you want to continue. After all, there are plenty of other sugar sites that are entirely free for the would-be babies. One plus of SugarBook is that it verifies income of daddies, which helps keep off scammers and fakes.

From a daddy’s perspective:

SugarBook verifies the income of sugar daddies, which is fairly standard of the more legitimate sugar sites. There’s even a free option for men, but, as you might expect, it’s quite limited. You’ll pretty much need to opt for the premium option to fully benefit from the site. 

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