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How to Write a Mystery: the Imaginary Writers’ Room weighs in

How to Write a Mystery: the Imaginary Writers’ Room weighs in

Robert Louis Stevenson

“We haven’t heard much from Margaret for a while,” said Agatha Christie.

“Have ye investigated, Dame Agatha?” said Robert Burns.

“I’ve seen her sitting around with a red book,” said Daphne du Maurier. “I think it’s ‘How to Write a Mystery.’ “

“It is. As if she needs that,” sniffed Agatha, “with us waiting here for her.”

“Now, Dame Agatha,” said Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, “the book’s quite up-to-date. Not old folk like us!”

“Classics, you mean,” said Daphne.

“Our successors seem to be catching Margaret’s interest,” said Robert Louis Stevenson, ensconced as usual on the Writers’ Room’s comfortable couch. “Maybe someday we’ll get to know their stories, besides each other’s and Margaret’s.”

“Let’s get her to show us what’s in the book,” said Agatha.

“Or who is,” said Louis.

“That’ll take a wee while, Louis,” I told Stevenson from outside the door. “I read today that there are contributions from 70 different authors in the book.”

“Ah, here she is!” said Robert Burns, earning himself a murmur of “Behave!” from Agatha Christie.

Sir Arthur opened the dark wooden door, since its pebbled glass window with the lettering “Imaginary Writers’ Room” is not much good for looking out.

I walked into the room carrying my copy of the red book, with the white letters “HOW TO WRITE A MYSTERY” on it.

“I had to read all those legal documents,” said Louis. “Let me have a keek, Arthur.”

“Take your time, Louis,” I said. “Look all you like. It has quite an index.”

“As big as –”

“Nae, Louis, not like the one I invented for… one of my characters,” said Arthur. “Go on, tell everyone.”

“Well, the index is 12 pages long,” I said. “There is also an essay called “About the Contributors, and that’s 18 pages long.”

“It seems well edited,” said Arthur.

Oh, he wasn’t going to like this much, but I had to tell him.

“It is,” I said. “It was edited by two fine writers, Lee Child and Laurie R. King.”

All around the table and over to the sofa, the writers were looking for explanations, so I charged ahead. “Lee Child writes thrillers about a man named Jack Reacher.”

“Thrillers,” said Daphne du Maurier, “as in we know who did it, but we don’t know what will happen next?”

“So I understand,” I said.

“And Mrs. King?” said Daphne.

I took a deep breath. “She writes stories about a young lady who’s half-American, half-British, and a theological scholar,” I began.

“And she edited this book about mystery writing? In the theological sense, then?” said Sir Arthur.

“Well, no,” I said slowly. “In the investigating sense. Mrs. King’s theological scholar carries out investigations along with her husband… Sherlock Holmes.”

I unconsciously moved back toward the door, but I had nothing to fear. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle had plopped into his seat at the head of the committee table. Agatha Christie was pouring him a drink from the pitcher of water on the table.

“Her husband, Margaret?” said Arthur.

“Yes,” I said, looking him straight in his twinkling eyes. “I’ve just finished re-reading her whole series of their adventures, and they’re wonderful.”

“You believe them?”

“I believe them. Sometimes I have to decide whether I’d like a Holmes-and-Watson story or and Holmes-and-Russell story. That’s his wife’s name, Mary Russell, ” I added.

“Well. Does she contribute to the writing ideas in the book as well?” said Arthur.

“Yes,” I said. “Her essay’s called ‘The Art of the Rewrite,’ and I read it again today. She starts out by describing the rewrite as “where the fun lies” for some writers.

Agatha Christie and Daphne du Maurier were exchanging shocked looks when I glanced at their side of the table. Louis Stevenson, on the other hand, was settling in deeper on the sofa, sensing I had a good story to tell.

“When Mrs. King has described two methods of rewriting, mapping it out before you even begin and “plunging into the dark with a flashlight,” she stops to ask us, her readers and writing students, “Q. Which is the Right Way? A. The one that keeps you writing.”

Robert Burns chuckled. “I could hear your capital letters there, Margaret. Reciting poetry helps you.”

“Aye, it does,” I told him, smiling.

Louis Stevenson had started laughing when I read the Q and A. “That sounded a bit like a legal case, there,” he said.

“Well, this keeps me writing,” I said, “so QED.”

I looked around the dark paneling and furniture and the comfortably low light of the Writers’ Room, one of the favorite corners of my mind. How much like home it felt, with even more books than my apartment — which I might as well call the Real-Life Writer’s Room, singular.

“There’s one more thing I’d like to say about the book,:” I said, “as long as there’s time.”

“Here,” said Arthur gently, “there’s always enough time.”

‘There’s another modern writer I was reading today,” I told the committee, “Louise Penny.”

I glanced at Daphne and Agatha again. This time, they were grinning.

“She wrote about ‘Building Your Community,” I said.

“You mean rooms like this?” said Louis.

“Not exactly,” I said. “I mean — Louise Penny means — communities of present-day writers and readers. I have one like that for my blog, ChicagoNow, where this is going to be posted.”

Stevenson looked at Conan Doyle for confirmation. “Made public,” said Arthur.

“Yes,” I said. “It’s all done by computers now, and I’ve posted my adventures with you for a long time now… even when we had temporary guests.”

“Do you think that nice Mr. Milne will come back, Margaret?” said Agatha.

“Perhaps I can get him to,” I said.

“But meanwhile, Louise Penny was writing about how writers can build communities now through meeting their readers.”

“Meeting?” said Arthur. “Then the pandemic is finished?”

I shook my head. “I doubt it,” I said. “I don’t need a mask in here with you, but I wear one to go to the shops and to church, and definitely on buses.”

Stevenson had sat up attentively, but he fell backwards now. “Well, stay safe, lass.”

“I do,” I said, “I assure you all. But I meet fellow readers and writers over my computer now.”

“You do?” said Agatha, her head tilting slightly from the weight of the idea.

“Yes,” I said. “It’s like a telegraph machine on my desk. I can type messages to all sorts of people. Trouble is, they can type messages to me without my knowing them,” I began.

“Conceal yersel’ as weel’s ye can frae critical dissection,” Robert Burns said.

“But keek through every ither man wi’ sharpened, sly inspection,” I replied, finishing one of my favorite parts of his “Epistle to a Young Friend.”

“So what Louise Penny was writing about in the book,” I said to them all, “is making a community of friends — ‘Building a Literary Home,’ she called it in her essay.”

“Is there any other kind worth having?” said Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

“It’s a mystery to me,” I replied.

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I moved to Chicago from the south suburbs in 1986. I have diverse interests, but I love writing about what I’m interested in. Whether it’s a personal interest or part of my career, the correct words to get the idea across are important to me. I love words and languages — French and Scottish words enrich my American English. My career has included years as a journalist and years working in museums, and the two phases were united by telling stories. I’m serious about words and stories. So here I am, ready to tell stories about words and their languages.

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How to Write a Mystery: the Imaginary Writers’ Room weighs in Read More »

Jays’ Ryu leaves after 4th with forearm tightnesson June 2, 2022 at 3:22 am

TORONTO — Blue Jays left-hander Hyun Jin Ryu exited his start Wednesday night against the Chicago White Sox after four innings because of tightness in his pitching forearm.

Ryu is 2-0 with a 5.33 ERA in six starts. He missed 24 games in April and May because of soreness in his forearm, but he had gone 2-0 with a 1.72 ERA in his past three starts since returning May 14 at Tampa Bay.

He left his previous start, May 26 against the Angels, after five innings because of a sore elbow.

Ryu allowed three runs, two earned, and four hits in four innings. He walked none and struck out four.

Chicago’s AJ Pollock homered on the third pitch of the game, but Ryu responded by retiring the next seven batters.

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Jays’ Ryu leaves after 4th with forearm tightnesson June 2, 2022 at 3:22 am Read More »

Jays’ Ryu leaves after 4th with forearm tightnesson June 2, 2022 at 3:22 am

TORONTO — Blue Jays left-hander Hyun Jin Ryu exited his start Wednesday night against the Chicago White Sox after four innings because of tightness in his pitching forearm.

Ryu is 2-0 with a 5.33 ERA in six starts. He missed 24 games in April and May because of soreness in his forearm, but he had gone 2-0 with a 1.72 ERA in his past three starts since returning May 14 at Tampa Bay.

He left his previous start, May 26 against the Angels, after five innings because of a sore elbow.

Ryu allowed three runs, two earned, and four hits in four innings. He walked none and struck out four.

Chicago’s AJ Pollock homered on the third pitch of the game, but Ryu responded by retiring the next seven batters.

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Jays’ Ryu leaves after 4th with forearm tightnesson June 2, 2022 at 3:22 am Read More »

Michigan’s Houstan, Diabate staying in NBA drafton June 2, 2022 at 3:31 am

Michigan standout freshmen Caleb Houstan and Moussa Diabate are staying in the NBA draft.

Both players had to make a decision to stay in school or remain in the draft by Wednesday.

Houstan is projected to go No. 25 to the San Antonio Spurs next month, according to the latest mock draft by ESPN’s Jonathan Givony.

The 6-foot-11 Diabate started 26 of 32 games for the Wolverines, averaging nine points and six rebounds. He was born in Paris and played high school basketball in Florida.

Houstan, a shooting guard from Mississauga, Ontario, led Michigan with 60 3-pointers, averaged 10 points and started in every game last season.

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

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Michigan’s Houstan, Diabate staying in NBA drafton June 2, 2022 at 3:31 am Read More »

Chicago Weekend in Beer, June 3-5

Chicago Weekend in Beer, June 3-5

MAD’s parody of the “Miss Rheingold” ads, 1954

I’ve been having a bit of a crisis as my home internet has gone down. Latest estimate is that it might be back on line Thursday. In the meantime, I’m posting what I’ve got without my usual touches that depend on my specific browser add-ins. But we’ve still got quite a bit going on!

Friday, June 3

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Donaldson: Yankees’ lack of support was hurtfulon June 2, 2022 at 1:07 am

NEW YORK — Josh Donaldson was hurt when New York Yankees teammates didn’t back him after he made a remark to White Sox star Tim Anderson about Jackie Robinson that Chicago manager Tony La Russa called racist.

Donaldson was suspended for one game by Major League Baseball for making multiple references to Robinson while talking to Anderson on May 21. Donaldson has appealed the discipline.

Anderson said he agreed with La Russa, and several Yankees said Donaldson was wrong. Yankees manager Aaron Boone said: “This is just my opinion – (that’s) somewhere he should not be going.” New York star Aaron Judge said: “I just don’t think it’s the right thing to do there.”

2 Related

“I think that was tough to hear, for sure, just for the simple fact that I pride myself on being a good teammate, and everywhere I’ve went, every organization that I’ve been a part of, minus Oakland, has offered me extensions, has wanted me to stay back,” Donaldson said during batting practice Wednesday.

“They’ve showed that they wanted me a part of their team. Obviously it didn’t work out that way,” he said. “And that’s just the business end of it. And also everywhere I went, I’ve won. I think part of winning is having good team chemistry, and I’ve taken pride everywhere I’ve went I’ve always tried to help people try to get better.”

A three-time All-Star and the 2015 AL MVP with Oakland, the 36-year-old Donaldson said he was surprised by criticism from White Sox reliever Liam Hendriks, his former Athletics teammate, who said he is “not a fan” of Donaldson.

Donaldson said Hendriks never brought up any issues when they met in a parking lot outside a ballpark.

“I know Liam has come out a couple times and said some stuff about me,” Donaldson said. “It’s weird because I hear one thing and then when I see him it’s different. So it’s definitely been confusing for that. I’m not saying that every one of my teammates have always been best friends with.”

Donaldson made a public apology to the Robinson family last week.

“I think everybody wanted to have a say. But they don’t know my heart,” Donaldson said. “I do feel bad that the Robinson family – I never wanted them to feel their name should ever be regarded in a bad light. That was why I issued the apology.”

He maintains of Anderson, “maybe he misinterepreted” the references but said “I haven’t had a chance to talk to him.”

“I think when it comes down to it, over the last couple of years, there’s been animosity from their team towards me,” Donaldson said. “And I don’t really have a problem with the team. I think there’s some stuff that was in question from last year.”

Donaldson riled up Chicago last season when he alleged ace Lucas Giolito had benefitted from the use of illegal sticky substances. He said he intends to stop his chatiness with the White Sox.

“I should not talk to these guys any more, just because I don’t ever want to be brought up in that light or that spectacle,” he said. “It’s been tough.”

Donaldson, acquired by the Yankees this year, is with his sixth big league team and is hitting .238 with five homers and 15 RBI in 37 games. He is on the injured list with right shoulder inflammation and could be activated Sunday. He was also briefly away from the team with COVID-19 following the incident with Anderson.

Donaldson had felt the shoulder pain for most of this season and says his swing has responded to a cortisone injection.

“I just have a of of wear and tear in there over the years,” he said. “I have tears everywhere in the there. It’s old stuff that gets in the way at times.”

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Donaldson: Yankees’ lack of support was hurtfulon June 2, 2022 at 1:07 am Read More »

Hobbled Celtics Smart, Williams ready for openeron June 2, 2022 at 12:04 am

SAN FRANCISCO — The Boston Celtics have been managing injuries to both Marcus Smart and Robert Williams for most of the last few weeks.

But, on the eve of the NBA Finals, both players said they were ready to go for the start of the league’s championship round against the Golden State Warriors here at Chase Center Thursday night.

“It’s manageable,” Williams said of the knee soreness that’s bothered him since the conference semifinals. “Kind of been getting in a routine the past couple games, what I have to go through to have myself ready to play.”

2 Related

The Celtics have officially listed Williams as questionable for Game 1 of the NBA Finals. Williams has been dealing with a bone bruise in his left knee — the same knee he had meniscus surgery on in late March — that has caused soreness that forced Williams to miss the final three games against the Milwaukee Bucks in the conference semifinals and Game 3 against the Miami Heat in the Eastern Conference finals.

But after playing reduced minutes throughout the Heat series, Williams said he thinks that’s helped him get ready to make it through this series against the Warriors.

“Yeah, I feel like the reduced minutes helps obviously because with the injury I had, you know, not being able to take the time off, being such an important part of the season, the minute reduction definitely helped.”

Smart, meanwhile, has been dealing with a series of injuries to his right leg — including his quad, ankle and foot.

The ankle, though, was the most serious, and hampered Smart throughout the conference finals. But after scoring 24 points and playing 41 minutes in Game 7 in Miami, Celtics coach Ime Udoka said Smart will be good to go in this series, and Smart himself said if he’s playing, there’s no room for excuses.

“The ankle was a pretty serious injury,” Smart said. “I’m thankful to be able to play, let alone still be walking. It hurt, but my mom always told me, if you are going to be on the court, you can’t make excuses. If you’re hurt, then sit your tail down. If I’m going to be out there, no matter how much pain I’m in, I can’t let it affect me.”

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Hobbled Celtics Smart, Williams ready for openeron June 2, 2022 at 12:04 am Read More »

Celtics’ Brown first NBA player to join Kanye firmon June 2, 2022 at 12:04 am

SAN FRANCISCO — Boston Celtics star Jaylen Brown said he believes joining up with Kayne West’s marketing firm is the start of a “beautiful collaboration.”

It became public this week that the Celtics forward was the first NBA player to sign with Donda Sports, a fledgling marketing company that is part of West’s larger clothing line. Los Angeles Rams star Aaron Donald recently said he’d joined the firm.

“It was time. For me, like I said, anytime I make a life decision, I contemplate. I think about things deeply,” Brown said a day before Thursday’s Game 1 of the NBA Finals (9 p.m. ET, ABC). “And from what I want to do, the missions I want to get accomplished, it was the right decision.”

1 Related

Brown recently became a shoe free agent after his long-term deal expired with Adidas, who signed him before his rookie season in 2016. He has been active in social justice causes and has said he prefers future endorsement deals to include investments in those areas.

Donda Sports is expected to handle Brown’s marketing deals. His current contract with the Celtics — a four-year, $106 million extension that went into effect in 2020 — was negotiated with NBA agent Jason Glushon.

West and Brown have had a relationship for some time and formalized a partnership late in the regular season. Brown is aware of the criticism West has taken and it doesn’t bother him.

“People have concerns or critiques, etc., but in the world we live in, there’s concerns and critiques in any and everything,” Brown said. “I feel like this is a good moment for me in my particular life. I’m excited to build and create and do things that I’ve always imagined I wanted to do on the court and off.”

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Celtics’ Brown first NBA player to join Kanye firmon June 2, 2022 at 12:04 am Read More »

Donaldson hurt Yankees didn’t support himon June 2, 2022 at 12:43 am

NEW YORK — Josh Donaldson was hurt when New York Yankees teammates didn’t back him after he made a remark to White Sox star Tim Anderson about Jackie Robinson that Chicago manager Tony La Russa called racist.

Donaldson was suspended for one game by Major League Baseball for making multiple references to Robinson while talking to Anderson on May 21. Donaldson has appealed the discipline.

Anderson said he agreed with La Russa, and several Yankees said Donaldson was wrong. Yankees manager Aaron Boone said: “This is just my opinion – (that’s) somewhere he should not be going.” New York star Aaron Judge said: “I just don’t think it’s the right thing to do there.”

2 Related

“I think that was tough to hear, for sure, just for the simple fact that I pride myself on being a good teammate, and everywhere I’ve went, every organization that I’ve been a part of, minus Oakland, has offered me extensions, has wanted me to stay back,” Donaldson said during batting practice Wednesday.

“They’ve showed that they wanted me a part of their team. Obviously it didn’t work out that way,” he said. “And that’s just the business end of it. And also everywhere I went, I’ve won. I think part of winning is having good team chemistry, and I’ve taken pride everywhere I’ve went I’ve always tried to help people try to get better.”

A three-time All-Star and the 2015 AL MVP with Oakland, the 36-year-old Donaldson said he was surprised by criticism from White Sox reliever Liam Hendriks, his former Athletics teammate, who said he is “not a fan” of Donaldson.

Donaldson said Hendriks never brought up any issues when they met in a parking lot outside a ballpark.

“I know Liam has come out a couple times and said some stuff about me,” Donaldson said. “It’s weird because I hear one thing and then when I see him it’s different. So it’s definitely been confusing for that. I’m not saying that every one of my teammates have always been best friends with.”

Donaldson made a public apology to the Robinson family last week.

“I think everybody wanted to have a say. But they don’t know my heart,” Donaldson said. “I do feel bad that the Robinson family – I never wanted them to feel their name should ever be regarded in a bad light. That was why I issued the apology.”

He maintains of Anderson, “maybe he misinterepreted” the references but said “I haven’t had a chance to talk to him.”

“I think when it comes down to it, over the last couple of years, there’s been animosity from their team towards me,” Donaldson said. “And I don’t really have a problem with the team. I think there’s some stuff that was in question from last year.”

Donaldson riled up Chicago last season when he alleged ace Lucas Giolito had benefitted from the use of illegal sticky substances. He said he intends to stop his chatiness with the White Sox.

“I should not talk to these guys any more, just because I don’t ever want to be brought up in that light or that spectacle,” he said. “It’s been tough.”

Donaldson, acquired by the Yankees this year, is with his sixth big league team and is hitting .238 with five homers and 15 RBI in 37 games. He is on the injured list with right shoulder inflammation and could be activated Sunday. He was also briefly away from the team with COVID-19 following the incident with Anderson.

Donaldson had felt the shoulder pain for most of this season and says his swing has responded to a cortisone injection.

“I just have a of of wear and tear in there over the years,” he said. “I have tears everywhere in the there. It’s old stuff that gets in the way at times.”

Read More

Donaldson hurt Yankees didn’t support himon June 2, 2022 at 12:43 am Read More »

Kerr: Payton, Porter, Iguodala questionable for G1on June 2, 2022 at 12:04 am

SAN FRANCISCO — Gary Payton II, Otto Porter Jr. and Andre Iguodala are being considered “questionable” heading into Game 1 of the NBA Finals, Warriors coach Steve Kerr said Wednesday afternoon.

Payton has been out since Game 2 of the Western Conference semifinals after breaking his elbow on a controversial play with Memphis’ Dillon Brooks. Porter missed the last game and a half of the conference finals with left foot soreness. Iguodala missed 30 of the last 36 regular-season games and all of the playoffs thus far with leg and neck injuries.

On Wednesday, Kerr said the trio participated fully in practice, even scrimmaging with the team — the first time they had done contact work since their respective injuries.

2 Related

“I’ve still got some boxes to check,” Payton said on Tuesday. “Go day by day, you know, see what happens and hope for the best … I’m starting to feel normal. Still not me yet.”

On Wednesday, Porter said he felt good and the fact he participated in every part of practice was a good sign.

Iguodala was more coy when discussing his status.

“It’s been an interesting year with my body,” Iguodala said. “But been using my brain a lot and understanding that’s a big part of — knitting that fabric … Just understanding that you can have an impact in a myriad of different ways, just being ready in any way that I’ve been asked. If it’s on the court, and hopefully it is, I just got to be ready and keep open for it, being optimistic with everything that’s going on with the body.”

That being said, Iguodala’s ultimate goal is to “finish the season walking on two feet. If I do that, it’s a successful season.”

When Iguodala rejoined the Warriors last summer, there were question marks surrounding how much playing time he had left in him. The Warriors started off resting Iguodala on one end of back-to-backs and never rushed him back from early-season ailments. The plan all along was to do whatever it took to have him available for the postseason.

Now, it’s unclear not only if he will be able to contribute to the Warriors’ deep playoff run, but even if he does, how much.

“You go back to my goals coming back, it’s similar to my sentiments when I first signed with the team in 2013 or ’14 — ’13,” Iguodala said. “It was the same thing: get us back to where we’re supposed to be. We’ve gotten back here.”

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Kerr: Payton, Porter, Iguodala questionable for G1on June 2, 2022 at 12:04 am Read More »