I saw this image enter my Instagram feed and it gave me pause: isn’t one of the highest compliments a person can receive is that of being called “genuine”? Am I genuine? I like to think I am.

What does it mean to be genuine? What does it mean to live a life as a genuine person? The list is pretty comprehensive, but I began to wonder about some of the points.

The “10 Behaviors of Genuine People” post came from an Instagram profile called “chakrasalignment_” which primarily has posts mentioning manifesting personal power, vibration, crystals, karma, perspectives, psychic advisement, etc. I’d definitely say it’s sort of “new agey” (and New Age, in my opinion, is a collective thought combining many OLD beliefs from the roots of world religions and ancient philosophy).

To gain further definition of the behaviors listed, I did a Google search. Turns out Entrepreneur.com has the exact same list in a slightly different order (10 Behaviors of Genuine People, March 16, 2015).

I found it surprising that a very artistic, spiritual Instagram profile page had the exact same list as an Entrepreneurial internet page – it seemed to me that the kind of people viewing each of these types of pages would have very different interests, life goals, objectives and thought philosophies. Perhaps being truly “genuine” surpasses what your interests are and gets to the heart of who you are.

The chakrasalignment_ Instagram page doesn’t give any explanations to the statements, but the Entrepreneur web page does. I won’t write out everything, but I’ll summarize the points, my questions (perhaps they are yours, too?) and the comments from web article.

The author, Steve Tobak, starts out by saying whether you’re building a business, a network, or friendships; we look for people who are not fake. We want to be around straight shooters that we can count on for their honesty and realistic approach – and that it’s becoming increasingly rare to find people like that. Here’s what I questioned and the answers I gleaned from Tobak’s article:

10 Behaviors of Genuine People

1. They don’t seek attention.
Shouldn’t we want to connect with others? Share our ideas? Dress in our own style and look pleasant? Not be afraid to “toot our own horn” to promote ourselves to get into a good college or land a great job, or even get a nice date? Don’t all these things, in fact, “seek attention”?

That all may be true. What the article says is that “genuine people” don’t need constant reinforcement of their own ego – they already have self-awareness and self-confidence.

Perhaps then it’s ensuring that we do not have the “desperate need” to be praised or liked, but have a strong enough sense of self to comfortably BE ourselves and be willing to reasonably point out our assets when appropriate and accept praise graciously when it is due.

2. They’re not concerned with being liked.
Don’t we all wish to be “liked”? And in fact, if a person IS unlikable, is it because they can’t see how they turn off other people, such as a character like Ebenezer Scrooge? It seems like basic human nature to want to be liked by others.

The article says the “need” to be liked is born of insecurity and narcissism. Genuine people don’t have to “manipulate” others in any way to be likeable. Confident and authentic people are simply themselves. If you like them, fine – if not, that’s fine too.

I would add that a person should be self-satisfied, but have the self-awareness to recognize when making some personal changes is necessary – and sometimes it is. To have the emotional intelligence to know when to make self-adjustments to help relationships flourish, but also have the same self-awareness to not have to change who they are fundamentally (which we hope is an honest, good person). It’s the ability to elegantly accept that we are on a continuous path of seeking healthy self-improvement emotionally, spiritually and physically – acknowledging that we aren’t perfect all the time.

3. They can tell when others are full of it.
This I get. If you’re old enough you know the character Eddie Haskell from “Leave It To Beaver,” who was in my view the epitome of the “fake” kid who presented a completely over-the-top alter ego when it served his purposes.

Being grounded in reality and figuring out when things don’t add up is how Tobak describes knowing when others are “full of it.” This takes perceptiveness – and perhaps learning from mistakes and past naivety.

4. They are comfortable in their own skin.
I’m going to be honest – I think this is a tough one for a lot of people. I think that there are some people who make this look easy but may not always feel that way about themselves. And frankly, I’m okay with that. It’s human.

One of the things I most admired about author Amy Morin who wrote “10 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do” is that when asked how she had “mastered” this list, she chuckled and said that she doesn’t have the list “mastered”; she wrote it at one of the worst points of her life and uses it as a check-point to get back on track when she knows she has veered off.

The article also says something similar, quoting actor Leonard Nimoy who was in his 70s saying that he was finally starting to feel as comfortable with himself as the character Spock he had played many years before. Self-acceptance often takes wisdom, and wisdom typically comes with living – and age.

5. They do what they say and say what they mean.
This is fairly straightforward to me. This is not easy for many people. I have a friend who told me that in college she would often agree to meet people or make plans but never followed through. She just got busy or it slipped her mind. But a friend was hurt she was not living up to her word and called her on it. That scenario stuck with her and shaped how she speaks with people.

I value people who “walk the talk.” You can trust them and they are reliable. Tobak adds that these kind of people don’t exaggerate or parse words and are truthful – even if it’s not easy to hear.

6. They don’t need a lot of stuff.
I think most people fantasize about having “things.” A nice home, a boat, a great place to vacation, a cool car, a great wardrobe, etc. Sometimes collecting “things” can take the place of gratitude for what we have; or even not being grateful for what we have in the current moment, even if we have plans to work to get something we’d like in the future.

Perhaps this point most of all is a balance between the Instagram post and the Entrepreneur web article. Tobak writes: ” When you’re comfortable with whom you are, you don’t need a lot of external stuff to be happy. You know where to find happiness – inside yourself, your loved ones, and your work. You find happiness in the simple things.”

7. They’re not thin-skinned.
If a person is a straight shooter with others, than they must also be able to accept criticism – they DON’T have to accept insults as truths; but they don’t have to react to those either.

The article points out that such people don’t take themselves too seriously – because they’re not insecure – and they don’t take offense when none is intended.

8. They’re not overly modest or boastful.
I agree with the statement but I’m not sure I don’t agree with the author’s comments about humility. I wrote a post September 21 called “Humility and Timidity – One Empowers You, The Other Limits You.”

I agree that if a person is truly confident and knows their capabilities they don’t have to boast. No one likes to be around a boar who can’t stop talking about himself or herself. I don’t see humility as a way of avoiding positive attention of the situation merits it. I see humility as the ABILITY to not have to boast.

9. They’re consistent.
Yep, I like this one. What ya see is watch ya get. When someone is consistent – in a positive manner – they are reliable, stable and paraphrasing Tobak, such people know themselves well and are in touch with their genuine emotions and are predictable in a good way.

10. They practice what they preach.
I feel that in many ways, this attribute summarizes much of the other attributes. We’re talking consistency, good moral fiber, fairness, honesty, maturity and emotional balance.

Tobak says their core shows self-awareness that’s consistent with realty.

They don’t overthink, manipulate, distort reality, aren’t afraid to be honest, aren’t self-absorbed.

This is the kind of person I hope I am, and I admit I’m striving to be this. This is the kind of children I want to raise.

No matter if they end up on a path that makes them an artistic spiritual healer or an entrepreneur – or something in between – being a “Genuine Person” is a life goal.

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In memory of the late great Mike Royko, a Chicago treasure who was read by millions of people across the country and beyond, I decided to revisit a post from the past.

During Mike’s career of over 42 years, he wrote some 7,555 daily columns for three of Chicago’s Major Newspapers, The Daily News, Sun-Times and the Tribune, before his death on April 29, 1997. Royko’s column appeared in the Tribune on page A-2 and it was always one of the most read columns in Chicago and across the country because of syndication. Page A-2 is now occupied by John Kass, easily the best of all Chicago’s columnists since the death of Royko. Somebody at Tribune company knows what they are doing. Of those 7,555 columns, I had the great pleasure of being the subject of one that I still cherish to this day.The power of the press and Mike Royko. As I said in the piece, having Royko in your corner is like having the Great Greg Maddux pitch for your little league team.  RIP Mike.  Take 2 and hit to right buddy. The Post follows below.

Before I get into this piece that deals with guns, I feel I have to explain a bit of history regarding something in my past.  In 1982 I was the editor of a magazine called the “Chevrons”. It was exclusively for Chicago Police Sergeants and their families.  It’s content was mostly about the job and families, new births, new innovations and general gossip about our world as police supervisors.  I usually wrote editorials about complaints of various injustices both real and perceived that entered our daily routines working the streets of Chicago.

In 1982 Chicago was dealing with an unusual amount of police officers being shot and killed in the line of duty.  Many were my friends who I had known and worked with. I felt that something had to be said so in my next editorial in the Chevrons, I called on taking the guns away from people who would use them to commit criminal acts, especially worrisome to those of us who are dealing with it on a daily basis. I DID NOT CALL FOR A BAN ON HANDGUNS, but that’s how it was perceived by the gun lobby and their supporters. I was removed as the editor of the Chevrons and then it got worse.

I was immediately inundated with constant harassment, name-calling, threats, etc., both by phone and a letter-writing campaign. Even some of my close friends were not too happy with my editorial. My dilemma was pretty well known since I was an ex-Marine and a 10-year supervising member of Chicago’s SWAT team.  In fact, a few years later I became the (HBT) SWAT commanding officer.  The fact was I knew more about guns than most of my tormentors.  I qualified as an Expert on the Marine ranges and that’s what landed me on the SWAT team, to begin with. My story immediately got the interest of Chicago’s most-read columnist, Mike Royko and he decided to make it public. Below is a rerun of that Column. Just click on it and you will be able to read it.

It was called “MOUTHY MACHO GUN NUTS'”. Mike was syndicated all over the country and my story went out to millions of people.  Soon I was getting letters of a different kind than the gun lobby from hundreds of people — some as far away as New Zealand, the Prime Minister no less. Royko, even offered to have some of my detractors meet me in a dark alley and call me the names they were hurling at me through letters and phone calls.  There were no takers.

It all went away rather quickly after Mike’s defense of me and my life resumed its normal pace.  So after telling you this, you can see I know what can happen when a person talks guns.  There seems to be no middle ground.  I am 100% behind the Second Amendment. For 55 years of my life, I was armed with either a handgun (most times two) rifles, grenades, a 72 Law RPG (rocket propelled grenade) and many others to be sure. A cop and a Marine no surprise. I respect people who hunt and those who want to bear arms.  My beef is with those who use them to commit criminal acts, thugs who kill indiscriminately, and those with mental disorders.

Last year in Aurora, Illinois 6 people died in yet another mass shooting and 5 police officers were wounded.  The shooter was a convicted felon who by LAW was not allowed to own or possess a handgun.  The LAW was on the books, but as with all criminals the law is for everybody else and not them.  It did not deter him one bit, as well as the other thugs who thumb their noses at laws.  However, that did not stop every politician that could find a camera or reporter from blaming guns and shouting for more laws;  more laws to be ignored for sure.

Whether it’s ego or stupidity what they fail to realize is the Aurora shooter was the poster boy for their ignorance.  As I have said many times before,  “some people have something to say, SOME people have to say something.”  There is always a time for silence.

I’m not oblivious to the gun problem in America.  For 33 years I had a Front Row seat.  The reality is the Second Amendment is not going away anytime soon.  An estimated 375 million guns in the United States are not going to be confiscated or turned in for that matter.  So here I go back to 1982 with the exception being I no longer have Royko to get me through if indeed I need help.  WE HAVE TO GET THE GUNS AWAY FROM THOSE WHO USE THEM ILLEGALLY.  It’s an epidemic that is killing faster than a civilized society should allow.

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention reports that 39,773 souls were killed by handguns in the United States in 2017.  That total brings the gun death rate to its highest in more than 2 decades.  Granted, the increase in the gun death rate at least in the last few years was driven by suicides, 60%, while the rate of gun homicides fluctuates over the last decade, the rate of gun suicides has steadily increased.  In 2016 there were 17,413 murders and in 2017, 17, 284 were recorded.  A blind person could see the depth of the problem.  Gun deaths are 12.0 per 100,000, car accidents which were once the leading cause of fatal injuries stand at 11.5.

America’s politicians have to come to grips with two glaring problems — the suicide rate and the murder rate.  The treatment of mental illness, (suicides) and the decision of what to do about those who commit criminal acts while armed.  Criminals are not victims.  Their victims own that status.  It’s time for leadership to realize repeat criminals,  most especially those who use guns, are cancer on descent society.

More laws are not the answer.  Punishment and accountability are.

“Who shot J.R.?” was the ultimate cliffhanger courtesy of the 1980 nighttime soap opera Dallas. Viewers had to wait an entire summer to find out who was responsible for trying to kill the “Texas oil baron/tycoon” who was the ultimate anti-hero. Spoiler Alert: The shooter was Kristin J.R.’s sister in law/mistress. If I ruined it for you, my apologies but it’s been awhile.

Nowadays with online platforms like Netflix no one would have to wait to find out who shot J.R. Netflix would release the episodes all at once. People would binge watch and discuss the outcome online. Anyone who didn’t have the chance to binge would have to avoid anyone talking about the show in order to maintain any element of surprise.

Though this pandemic provides us all with one of the biggest “surprises” ever there are so few surprises left in the world. Generally our culture subsists on immediate gratification. This need for immediacy makes us less patient and entitled.

Hulu, Amazon Prime and Apple tv have released episodes of new shows in increments. (I enjoyed two of these platforms through free trials. I highly recommend free trials. Free anything. I enjoy free. ) Hulu released 3 episodes of “Little Fires Everywhere” and then released episodes each Wednesday until the series was complete. Online conversations were full of anticipation and excitement but no spoilers because there was no content to spoil.

Amazon Prime rolled out 3 episodes and then 2 episodes weekly of “Making the Cut” the new fashion reality show with Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn. Apple tv parsed out episodes of “The Morning Show” with Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon.

The slow release of episodes provided viewers with something to look forward. According to self-help guru Gretchen Rubin (and many others) having something to look forward to is a key to happiness. It doesn’t have to be large scale like an exotic vacation. Sometimes it’s the little things that get us through.

There’s something maternal about these platforms making us wait. It’s good for us; the equivalent of having a slice of cake instead of the whole thing in one sitting. (Yes, I know that’s particularly challenging nowadays.) I find it strangely comforting even though I’ve also grown accustom to the immediacy of now.

So thank you Hulu, Amazon Prime and Apple tv. Who knew your entertainment platforms would also provide a life lesson to boot? The waiting we’re doing with this pandemic has no clear ending in sight. I can certainly wait 7 days for satisfaction though.

I recommend “Little Fires Everywhere” for some great sparring scenes between Kerry Washington and Reese Witherspoon as well as some resonant commentary on race. “Morning Show” could have used more attention to the racial components and nuances in the early morning show world central to the story. “Making the Cut” is fun mostly for how it features Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn on little excursions in New York, Paris and Tokyo; the shows various locales.

What have you been watching? Do you enjoy the slow release or do you want it all at once. “That’s what she said.” (Sorry I couldn’t resist.) Please share in the comments below.

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I understand the need to get the economy up and running. I even understand the need to open up bowling alleys, nail salons and tattoo parlors. With a shortfall of support for small businesses from the federal government, we’re scared about our livelihood and maybe even where our next meal is coming from.  We feel ignored.

Another segment of the population that is largely being ignored is our young people. Those kids who are currently holed up in their rooms, presumably engaged in e-learning, haven’t been talked about all that much. When kids were sent home in late March, the idea was to keep them, and the rest of us, safe from the spread of coronavirus. We wanted to stop the spread of the virus, but stopping the learning process was certainly not part of the plan. As most schools will probably not be back to “normal” until the fall, we’ve resorted to a hodgepodge of electronic worksheets administered by teachers who were never prepared for such a situation.

Anyone who has ever spent a full day in the classroom, either as a teacher, paraprofessional or substitute teacher, knows how excruciatingly difficult it is to work with a room full of young people. If you’ve never had the pleasure, I strongly encourage you to sign up to be a “sub” for a day. I can assure you that after such an experience, once your migraine headache subsides, you’ll most likely send your child’s teacher a bouquet of flowers and never again disparage their need for a summer vacation.

When the pandemic hit, not only were kids sent home, but teachers were charged with coming up with some home-baked educational bread to keep the minds of their students functioning. Many tech-savvy teachers have done a great job which once again validates their need for greater pay. It also magnifies the lack of preparation and foresight by many whose very job it was to prepare for such worse-case scenarios.

Moving forward, will we be prepared for another such pandemic? Will this pandemic permanently alter the way we educate our children? Health concerns combined with other safety concerns already impacting schools may very well change the face of traditional education.

Providing the necessary hardware for e-learning is only scratching the surface. Internet access, which is a privilege and not a right for many, is also a key component. A stove only bakes a cake if it’s connected to gas or electricity. Not everyone has internet access which leads to even further educational inequities. Do we need, or even want, our schools packed with hundreds of kids every day? If we don’t, can we effectively provide alternative learning? Will what we know as day-care centers for the very young evolve into educational-care centers for school-age children as an alternative? These are all questions to ponder posthaste.

As I watch protests by those demanding to immediately re-open the economy, I can empathize. People want to return to their normal. They also need money to survive. Seeing signs that read, “I need a haircut” might have a greater impact if they read, “my kid can’t read”.

S&P Dow Jones released the February CoreLogic Case-Shiller home price indices this morning for the Chicago area and 19 other major metro areas. Of course, this reflects the real estate market pre-Covid 19 but the indices showed decent year over year home price appreciation of 4.2% for the nation as a whole. But not so much for the Chicago area, which remained in last place with a mere 0.7% appreciation. At least that was up from January’s 0.5% appreciation rate.

For perspective, New York was in second to last place with 1.5% appreciation and first place went to Phoenix with 7.5% appreciation. So the Chicago area really sucked but I guess that’s actually good for home buyers.

The graph below really highlights just how far Chicago’s home price appreciation has fallen in the last couple of years and, in particular, condo prices have now registered two consecutive months of year over year declines with February’s 0.2% decline.

Chicago area single family home prices have shown annual gains for 88 consecutive months but condo prices fell once again

Case Shiller Chicago Area Home Price Index By Month

The graph below shows the actual Case Shiller Chicago index numbers going back to 1987 for single family homes and going back to 1995 for condos. I’ve also added a red trendline based upon single family home prices prior to the real estate bubble. In February single family home prices rose by 0.2% after several months of seasonal decline. Condo prices are also climbing out of the seasonal slump with a 0.1% gain.

Unlike most parts of the country the Chicago area is still far from recapturing the bubble peak. Single family home prices are 15.4% below their peak while condo prices are still down 8.9%. However, there has been significant progress from the bottom. Single family home prices have gained 38.7% and condo prices are up 50.8%. Unfortunately, it looks like prices are plateauing and certainly won’t be helped by the invisible enemy terrorizing us. We’re nowhere near returning to our trendline. In fact, we fall short by 29.5%.

For another historical perspective consider that single family home prices where higher than where they are now for the entire period from June 2004 – November 2008 and condo prices were higher from April 2005 – December 2008.

The Chicago real estate market still has a long way to go before catching up to bubble peak prices.

#CaseShiller #ChicagoHomePrices #HomePrices

Gary Lucido is the President of Lucid Realty, the Chicago area’s full service real estate brokerage that offers home buyer rebates and discount commissions. If you want to keep up to date on the Chicago real estate market or get an insider’s view of the seamy underbelly of the real estate industry you can Subscribe to Getting Real by Email using the form below. Please be sure to verify your email address when you receive the verification notice.