In the past week, I have seen so many (reactive) posts saying how men need to ‘Protect Black Women’. Yet, I was conflicted and I had to take it with a grain of salt because some of those posts came from people I have actually seen disrespect Black women regularly. I don’t know who needs to be told this, but that phrase is supposed to encompass protecting ALL black women.  Yet I’ve observed that for many of our men, it only seems to apply to the black women in their immediate circle. Like their mother, daughter, sister, friend or the black women they find attractive and ‘worth’ protecting. But what about the rest of the Black women? The ones who have no equity in your life. It’s almost as if those same men don’t even acknowledge that there are other black women outside of their circle that not only need protection, but they need it from those men as well.

I have stopped engaging in these types of online conversations because it always turns into Black women being attacked for speaking collective and shared truths. We are instantly labeled the “bitter, hateful, black women always trying to tear a brotha down” by most men when we share painful and traumatic instances that got us to the point of not feeling safe or protected by our men. We are also smothered into silence by the Pick Me’s who jump right in all too eager to invalidate another woman’s experience with their cries of ‘not the men I know’. So I no longer even respond under posts about “iF tHe BLaCK wOmAN fEeLs sAFe” because I refuse to be incessantly be triggered and go back and forth with purveyors of misogynoir over my very real lived experiences.  Experiences that support why myself and countless other Black women do not feel safe or protected. Period.  I see the men who share and laugh at violent acts towards us. I see who agrees with the disrespectful derogatory banter about us. I notice who shares things that disenfranchises and degrades us. I see it all and I may not say anything, but it is a constant and blatant reminder of how many of our men feel about us. An elder once told me you can tell a person’s true character by how they treat someone who they don’t stand to gain a thing from. And based off this, I see so many of you who simply don’t give a fuck about Black women.

When I walk past men I don’t know, I am always on high alert because I don’t know how I will be greeted or treated EVER. I can only hope to properly read the room and appeal to their higher selves for the sake of my own protection. Because the truth is, I know that if one decides to put his hands on me there is a greater chance of another brother recording it, laughing, and jumping in than there is someone saying ‘Stop. Don’t Do That. Leave Her Alone’ and to proceed to protect me. And you know it’s true. We even saw something like this play out last year where a black woman was harassed outside of her car by what looked like over 50+ black men outside of her car, even groped and smacked her on the behind and NOT ONE helped her or stopped the others. There are too many instances to recall that have gone viral of black women being disrespected, beaten, most recently—hit with  a skateboard, and more by a brotha. We see and experience these aggressions in our real lives and online in what seems to feel like perpetuity. And people still fix their mouths to question us when we say we don’t feel safe or protected. Then gaslight us about it when we speak out and pressure us not to add to our male counterparts ‘load’ as if we are not doing the heaviest of lifting.

I still remember the young sista on the Red Line in Chicago who was stabbed on the train by a brotha she didn’t even know because he couldn’t deal with being told no. He had been harassing her for a while before it escalated to him stabbing her and once again, not one brotha helped her. This struck a deep nerve with me because I can recall on numerous occasions men I did not know in public settings becoming volatile with me for simply declining their advances. And again, no one intervenes, no one helps. I’ve spoken to so many women with a different version of this same scenario and what’s scarier is the assumption many men have where if a man is being violent with you, y’all must be ‘together’ and not to get involved because ‘you ain’t gon leave anyway’. Meanwhile, a stranger is harming you in public (and once again), no one steps in to help. Yet y’all want us to pontificate and claim how ‘safe’ and ‘protected’ we are? Yeah. Okay *insert eyeroll*. The truth is, in my life, the only black men who have intervened in situations where I was unsafe and by myself were queer and trans folk, not cis-het black men.

As much as I would like to think I would be helped by the majority of black men present (if I was alone and was being bothered or felt unsafe), the truth is, I know I’m on my own. EVERY SINGLE TIME. I know I better have my own protection and be prepared to have to save my own life, even in a space full of men. Most Black women know this, but we don’t vocalize it because it has been drummed into us to protect our men at all costs, even at the expense of ourselves. And it hurts. And just like how black folk are all TIRED AF of racism, Black women are TIRED AF of being quiet about having to deal with and accept mistreatment and disrespect for the sake of ‘protecting’ our men. And I KNOW this isn’t all black men. However, If you’re triggered by this instead of taking a reflective moment to simply listen to better understand, then yes, I’m probably talking about you. You, who laugh and share videos of black women being violated. You, who is the first under a post to strike up the ‘not all men’ chorus. You, who become combative and dismissive the moment a woman shares an experience of feeling unsafe, despite thousands of other women agreeing to that shared collective experience. You who ask ‘well what did she do’ before asking ‘is she alright’. You, who insist that us speaking painful truths ‘ tear the black community down’ (without admonishing those at the root of the violation). You, who hang out with men you know are abusive to their partners, but that’s ’none of your business’. You, who knows your 35 year old homeboy has a 17 year old ‘girlfriend’. You, who hangs out with men you know don’t care for their children. You, who TO THIS DAY * in Deontay Wilder voice* who still defend R. Kelly and men in our community like him.

You who allow, encourage, dismiss, and ignore these things and so much more, yet expect us to believe you when you hop on the ‘protect black women’ bandwagon. It’s hard to believe those words when we are inundated with watching actions that say otherwise. The saddest part is that even after I sit and type all this, I already know how it’s going to play out. Maybe a handful of our men will listen and reflect on an uncomfortable truth for many black women. Some of you will ask ‘how can we do better’ or ‘make black women feel safe’? And to that I say by simply being better men, holding the men around you (and those you may come in contact with) accountable to being better and operating at a higher frequency and standard. Uplift and teach young boys (biological and otherwise) to operate differently. Find healthier ways to deal with pain and anger and understand that we, black women, do not exist for the sake of being rehabilitation centers for damaged men. That is where you can start if you sincerely give a fuck. However, what I know is that most will take this as an attack, you know, because hit dogs holler, then become defensive as they go put on their ‘not all black men’ capes. Either way, none of that changes the fact that many of us do not feel safe or protected by the community of our men. I hope to one day, but until then, I know I have to have my own back because we still live in a world where more of our men will assume we ’must have had it coming’ versus simply telling another man to stop violating us.

This article is dedicated to Oluwatoyin Salau, a 19 year old BLM Activist who was recently sexually violated and murdered by one of our men. I am so sorry your light was extinguished in this manner. You deserved protection. You deserved to feel safe.

(And y’all can spare me the emails, DMs, and comments filled with anger and vitriol cause 1) I’m not reading that shit 2) I said what I said and 3) I call out women too, it’s just your turn today)

Due to the current state of the world, more employees are working from home right now than ever before. Although some have been able to return to a physical office, others are working remotely for the foreseeable future. If you’re one of the many still churning out work from home, you may be losing motivation and failing to work at the same level you did before the lockdowns began.

Luckily, boosting productivity may be as simple as buying a decent office chair or reorganizing your space.

Dedicate Space

One of the best ways to improve your home office setup is to dedicate a certain room or area of your house to work. Maybe that means sectioning off a corner of the bedroom or converting the guest room into an office. If you fail to create space, you may have difficulty switching off your mind and computer at the end of the day. In fact, 44% of remote workers struggle to unwind due to this general lack of boundaries.

Declutter Often

Sometimes, even those who have space don’t feel comfortable in it. If this is the case for you, the main culprit may be clutter.

Dog toys, empty coffee mugs and crumpled post-its can all find their way into your home office and create a distraction. Clear your office — and your mind — by decluttering often. Donate things you no longer use, toss the trash and wash those crusty mugs. Afterward, concentrating on work should be much easier.

Choose an Ergonomic Chair

Sure, you want to be comfortable while you’re working, but that doesn’t mean you should slump down onto the couch or into a beanbag chair to work. This setup might work for a few hours, but eventually your bad posture will distract you or even cause you to fall asleep.

Instead, invest in an ergonomic office chair with back support and actually use it. You might be surprised at how quickly your productivity skyrockets.

Stand Up

If you prefer to stand while you work, consider purchasing or making a standing desk for yourself. Make sure you do some research and use the proper anchors instead of nails that will easily come out.  Your desk is going to be holding up some expensive equipment, so make sure it’s put together well. Be sure your desk that fits your proportions so your monitor is at eye level and your keyboard is at your elbows, thus encouraging proper posture.

Standing up even just for a portion of your workday can offset the effects of sitting for too long and may reduce your risk of obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular disease and even some cancers.

Invest in Quality Sound

Is music your main motivator to get stuff done? Consider investing in some quality speakers or earbuds to kick your productivity up a notch and boost your mood.

Putting on a good pair of headphones can even block out the sounds of your playing children and barking dog, limiting distractions and helping you concentrate. If you live alone, you might get a turntable so you have to get up, stretch and flip the album every half hour or so.

Add Some Greenery

Sometimes, all you need to optimize and beautify your work from home setup is a few house plants. Incorporate succulents or hanging plants around your home office to brighten it up and remove toxins from the air, thereby refreshing your oxygen supply and improving indoor air quality.

Decorating with plants in this way may even improve your concentration and productivity, reduce stress and boost your mood. It’s worth a try, right?

Making It Work for You

Ultimately, how you decide to improve your home workspace will depend on what motivates you and helps you focus. If you actually find plants distracting, maybe you’ll decorate your space with photos of loved ones instead. Likewise, if you hate the idea of listening to music while working, consider tuning out distractions with earplugs, white noise or ambient sounds.

Through trial and error, you’ll find what works for you. Once you do, simply focus on incorporating those things into your home setup.

Before women could be seen-or even allowed-on the racing track, Vicki Wood was “the fastest woman in racing.” Known as a “Lady Speedster,” Wood began racing stock cars for ‘kicks,’ while raising a family in Detroit. If you were a woman racing at all back then, it was most often in the powder-puff events. The major races and speed trials were open only to men. Fortunately, Vicki never saw it that way and was eager to race against the boys!

Often beating them, Ms. Wood became one of the first women to compete in NASCAR events in 1953. Retiring 10 years later, she was then in her mid-40s and had won 48 racing trophies and set the record for the fastest run across the sand in Daytona Beach, FL, at 150.376 mph in 1960. At first, she couldn’t imagine driving on the beach. Finishing third in the speed trial championships, she navigated the sand just fine. She went on to receive special permission from NASCAR founder Bill France to try for a speed record in 1959. Almost prohibited to drive, France stood up for her saying “Vicki Wood is not a woman…She’s a driver, and she’s allowed in the pits.” She topped 130 mph in a Pontiac and the following year at Daytona, set a women’s record with the fastest one-way run on the sand in history.

“I just love speed,” Wood said, “and the racetrack is the safest place for it.”

Ms. Wood was 101 when she died on June 5 in Troy, MI of a heart-related illness. She often remarked how she ‘got bounced around a little bit,’ but never hurt badly. She often told the story of flipping over another car at Flat Rock Speedway in Michigan. She went sailing over the wall into the track’s retaining screen. Taken to the hospital, Wood was kept under watch for two days before she returned to the cockpit the following week!

Standing just 5-foot-3, Ms. Wood was a striking figure on the racetrack, wearing colorful scarves and at times walking through the pit in a skirt and high heels. When it came to racing, though, she was all business, drawing on her knowledge of automobiles that she gained as a child. Having six brothers didn’t hurt, she’d joke. She either joined in tinkering with cars, or be left out, she noted.

Vicki Wood was born Victoria Rose Raczak, one of seven children, who grew up in Detroit. In fact, she began to race when her husband challenged her after his own racing career was cut short due to injuries. The first woman to race with the men, Ms. Wood was invited to Daytona Beach for NASCAR’s 1955 Speed Week, where she was given the keys to a Chrysler

Wood later shared with Autoweek that those ‘women in the race were so bad; all over the track, running into the wall….” She told her husband if she couldn’t drive better than that, she wouldn’t bother. Challenging her, he led her to the track and a 1937 Dodge coupe. Without any training experience, she finished ninth. The following night she won a powder-puff race at Mount Clemens. A week later she won the asphalt at Flat Rock.

A few years later, Wood was confronted by a male driver warning her if she continued to race, the men would go on strike! Seems a few of the male drivers couldn’t handle the possibility of being beaten by a women driver! She told Autoweek later that she decided to retire. She had “had enough.” Although she didn’t race into old age, she did continue to drive, almost to the very end. At age 98, Wood’s Florida license was revoked. For someone who loved to drive, it was the worst thing they could have done to her, she said.

When racing at Daytona and Atlanta International Raceway, Ms. Wood completed short-track races, following in the heels of such women as Sara Christian, Ethel Mobley and Louise Smith. She competed in NASCAR shortly after the association held its first sanctioned race in 1948.The sight of women racing in later years was more common. Many enthusiasts remember Lyn St. James, Janet Guthrie, Shirley Muldowney and Danica Patrick, among others.

Ms.Wood raced sporadically, and only locally, so did not have the global impact that a female racer might today. She not only raced, she drove in research demonstrations to determine hoe much wear and tear a car could take. At one time she worked in sales at Jordan Marsh in Florida. Driving against men was easier than driving against women, she remarked. “Female drivers were too unpredictable. They were rough drivers. They would get mad, especially if they lost, team up and ram you,”she said.

Although competitive on the track, Ms. Wood only had one speeding ticket in 80 years of driving. And contrary to some beliefs about women race drivers, she wasn’t coarse, nor did she chew tobacco. Just a gal who loved racing cars!

“We say black lives matter, but we’re here to say black baby lives matter more.”

Three-year-old Mikhi James was one of 13 people shot to death over the weekend in Chicago, but where are the thousands of black lives matter marchers?

More than 100 people were shot during the same weekend, enough to squeeze COVID-19 patients out of neighborhood emergency rooms.

It was too much for Rev. Ira Acree of Greater St. John Bible Church. He lamented:

A line was crossed. This is a horrific Father’s Day. This 3-year-old baby lost his life. … I could not pastor this community and not say something.

We say black lives matter, but we’re here to say black baby lives matter more.

Do you think we could get tens of thousands of people to march on the South and West sides, demanding an end to violence–the kind that is inflicted on the black community by vicious black gangsters? Where are all the self-righteous white people who denounce the police for their brutal treatment of black men?

The police did not shoot Baby Mikhi. Nor did they shoot any of the 100 shooting victims. They were doing their best, working double 12-hour shifts to try to protect those very neighborhoods they are being accused of victimizing. 

Defund the police? Ask the people in the neighborhoods that are getting shot up? They might have a different view.

DA 5 BLOODS

Genre: Action

Rating: R

Running Time: 154 mins.

Where Can You See It?: Netflix

Premise: Four Vietnam vets (Delroy Lindo, Clarke Peters, Isiah Whitlock Jr., Norm Peters) return to the country to recover the remains of their respected captain Stormin’ Norman (Chadwick Boseman), along with the treasure of gold bars they buried long ago. Their past catches up with their present when an armed local militia sets its sights on the gold.

Behind-the-Scenes: Spike Lee shopped the film to multiple studios, all of which rejected, before Netflix picked up the $50 million tab. The script was originally written for four white actors. Lee and his co-writer, Kevin Willmott, flipped it. The names of each of the main characters (Paul, Melvin, Otis, Eddie and David) are the same names as the five members of the musical group, The Temptations. Lindo, Whitlock, and Peters have all worked with Lee before.

The Good: Da 5 Bloods is a singular film, one that covers several genres over its 2.5 hour runtime with turn-on-a-dime tonal shifts. It can get weird and a little clumsy. Some of its symbolism is anything but subtle, and its use of the medium is wholly theatrical featuring direct monologues to the camera, cutaways to photographs of historical figures when referenced on screen, and alternating aspect ratios that signal flashbacks. But throughout it all, the movie is 100% a Spike Lee Joint. And it’s a pretty remarkable one too. Lee directs the heck out of it – the action scenes are exciting, with grace notes of humor, some well-crafted tension, and a ton of loving homages to flicks like Apocalypse Now and Treasure of the Sierra Madre. The cast is great across the board, but it’s Delroy Lindo who stands out the most and makes a strong case for an Oscar nomination. Lindo has been good in so much for so long that it’s easy to take him for granted. His performance here makes that all but impossible to do now.

The Bad: Like other Lee movies, his passion sometimes overwhelms the proceedings. He’s having such a good time stirring the pot and thinking outside the box that some script basics, like character consistencies or established motivations, are thrown out the window in favor of whatever point Lee wants to make in a given scene. All of the actors play themselves in the Vietnam flashback scenes, which may have a thematic purpose but still took me out of the movie and proved distracting.

Should You See It?: Yes. Da 5 Bloods is the (very) early front runner for Best Picture in this weird movie year, and one of the best original Netflix films made to date.

Star Rating: **** out of 5 stars

Better Than: The Irishman

Worse Than: BlackKklansman

* * *

For more movie/TV commentary and other mischief, follow me on Twitter: @Hammervision and on Letterboxd: @Hammervision

Cosmo LOVES greenies treats and has no qualms hopping onto his fosterer’s lap in pursuit (but doesn’t want to linger once he figures out that the treats are gone!). And he’s also a fan of the wand toy and kick toys; he uses his scratching post lots, too. So he is an up and down scratcher! He loves windowsills. He’s very cute, black with startling green eyes. And he comes to sit primly and stare his fosterer down whenever she’s in the kitchen around mealtime. Cosmo has tested positive for FiV but can live a long and healthy life and can live safely with other cats so long as they are also spayed or neutered. To meet him, write to us at [email protected] !

Hyde Park Cats is a local, all-volunteer group dedicated to helping stray and homeless cats in and around Chicago’s Hyde Park. We received our 501(c)(3) status in 2014 and have had over 1,200 adoptions since our founding in 2008. See all our adoptable kitties on our webpage: http://hydeparkcats.org/adopt/

All of our cats are in loving foster homes, which means the cat you adopt will be familiar with the sounds, smells, and movements of life in a home and accustomed to living with humans. He or she has been interacting on a daily basis with people who know this particular cat intimately, and the foster mom or dad can tell you all about the cat’s individual personality, habits, preferences. You can’t judge a cat by its cover! And while we can’t predict the future or know everything about a cat, we can help you choose the cat who is right for you. We have an adoption application and an adoption fee, $125 for the adoption of one cat, or $250 for a pair. This fee goes towards covering their vet costs. All cats adopted out by us are neutered/spayed, micro-chipped, tested for FIV/FeLV, and treated with Revolution.

This 2-year-old guy is very nice and lovable. He loves to be held and cuddled.

Babble is a lanky, happy fellow. He loves toys, pets and exploring. He purrs like crazy when it’s petting time and will bat a toy around when he wants you to play with him.

He’s really independent and incredibly relaxed – he lets his fosterer cut his nails without any fuss at all.

He’s been introduced to the resident cats and while none of them are quite friends yet (he’s only been out of quarantine for a couple of days) he doesn’t seem like he’s going to start any trouble with them.

Babble had a broken hip but it has healed quite nicely He occasionally has a small limp and doesn’t seem to have any interest in jumping on anything higher than the bed/sofa, but that could just be that he’s still acclimating.

For more information, write to us at [email protected] !

Hyde Park Cats is a local, all-volunteer group dedicated to helping stray and homeless cats in and around Chicago’s Hyde Park. We received our 501(c)(3) status in 2014 and have had over 1,200 adoptions since our founding in 2008. See all our adoptable kitties on our webpage: http://hydeparkcats.org/adopt/

All of our cats are in loving foster homes, which means the cat you adopt will be familiar with the sounds, smells, and movements of life in a home and accustomed to living with humans. He or she has been interacting on a daily basis with people who know this particular cat intimately, and the foster mom or dad can tell you all about the cat’s individual personality, habits, preferences. You can’t judge a cat by its cover! And while we can’t predict the future or know everything about a cat, we can help you choose the cat who is right for you. We have an adoption application and an adoption fee, $125 for the adoption of one cat, or $250 for a pair. This fee goes towards covering their vet costs. All cats adopted out by us are neutered/spayed, micro-chipped, tested for FIV/FeLV, and treated with Revolution.

This may just be the reopening that I am most excited about

Lincoln Park Zoo is something I have always taken for granted ever sine I was a tyke. I loved going year round. Watching the wonderful antics of the inhabitants.

The regal beauty of the Big Cats.  Watching the Polar Bears diving under water and playing ball.

Photo: Courtesy of Lincoln Park Zoo

The strutting penguins always dressed for a formal event.

The sweet new arrivals.These beautiful animals have always brought a smile to my face.

And never again, will I take them for granted.

Chris, a tree frog, at home in his tree. Photo: Lincoln Park Zoo

Reopening Dates

In a little over a week, June 29,  Chicago’s treasured Lincoln Park Zoo will reopen to the general public.

Members, deservedly so, can start returning June 26.

Of course, as with everything else in our brave new world, there are guidelines:

There will be limited capacity for human visitors.

Reservations will be required. tarting today, reservations can be made using EventBrite or via telephone at 312-742-2000.

In addition:

• Reservations can be made every hour, on the hour from 10 a.m. – 4 p.m. Guests are requested to keep their zoo visit to approximately two hours so as not to exceed capacity.
• Guests who are medically able will be required to wear a face covering.
• Additional safety measures include signage promoting social distancing, restricted access at high touchpoints, and increased handwashing stations and sanitation.
• The East Gate and West Gate entrances will be open to the public but all other gates will be closed to help with traffic flow.
• Guests will be directed through the zoo via one-way paths to facilitate social distancing. Outdoor exhibits will be visible but indoor habitats will closed until further notice.
• Food and gifts will be available via outdoor, minimum or no-contact transactions.

Donations accepted

For the first time in 152 years, Lincoln Park Zoo was closed for an extended period of time due to the pandemic. Lincoln Park Zoo has always been free admission and remains so. However, if you can afford to do so, LPZ could use your financial support  either with a membership or a donation.To donate visit lpzoo.org/donate. For more information, visit lpzoo.org.

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My almost two-year-old and I have been taking a lot of walks. Last week I logged 8 miles in one day, and coming from someone who never jumped on the 10k-steps-a-day bandwagon, well…that’s a lot.

Anyway, I’ve found that around 10 a.m. in my neighborhood, there is what I like to call the stroller parade. On sunny days, the sidewalks are jammed with moms and caregivers pushing their Uppababy strollers (is there any other stroller?) down the tree-lined streets of Chicago.

I am lucky enough to join this daily parade because my normal 9-5 office job has been temporarily condensed into a part-time, couple-hours-a-day job until we have childcare set up this summer. Which means I am effectively a stay-at-home-mom most of the day. This new setup has allowed me to spend hours upon hours with my spunky little toddler. But, it’s also confirmed one crucial thing: I love to work.

And so with that, I’m very excited to be returning to work full-time in a couple of weeks! But that means things are about to get complicated.

My husband and I have been waffling over our childcare options since daycare closed in mid-March. Every option seems flawed and none are without risk. Over the past couple of months, I’ve surveyed friends and colleagues to see what they were doing – some had kept their nannies this whole time or had grandparents close by that insisted on helping out, while others, like us, were trying to make it work without any help.

When most daycares reopened a couple weeks ago, we had a decision to make. But before I share more about that, I think it’s important to explain that we, as a family, have been on the strict end of the spectrum since mid-March. We’ve essentially seen no one and done nothing.

In early June, I started to see people on the street wearing clothes with purpose – like they were going to go to a restaurant patio to have a spicy margarita. I saw a woman in a dress and cute sandals and I stared at her, with envy, for way too long.

Despite Chicago opening up, we’ve continued to hold off on venturing out for a few reasons, one being that we want to go see our parents, and we don’t want to put them at any greater risk. Another, less concrete reason is, well, we’ve done it for THIS long and we’re still in a pandemic, so why would we change our behavior just because Lori Lightfoot says we can eat in the street! (Even though I am dying for that spicy marg).

Because we’ve felt so strongly about quarantining ourselves this whole time, we really struggled with making a childcare decision. I know many, many others who were (and are) dealing with this struggle too. (There is literally a new discussion thread on this topic in my pandemic parenting Facebook group almost every other day.)

One of the things I’ve found to be most challenging about the pandemic is figuring out how to make decisions about…everything. Everyone you talk to has different points of view based on so many factors: Their own health and their family’s (is anyone high-risk?), the status of their loved ones (are they near or far?), where do they live (in an area with widespread cases?), and ultimately, their personal tolerance for risk.

When I tried to do some research around how to make this decision about childcare, the information I found was impossible to break down into usable advice. The resources I would normally turn to for decisions about my child or my family were lacking in any concrete advice that I could turn into confident action. And of no fault of their own – there are just so many unknowns right now that even the experts aren’t really experts.

And so I came to the realization that you can go round and round in circles and read every social media comment on this topic that exists, but at the end of the day, you have to combine the knowledge that you do have with your gut, making sure that in addition to the health and safety of you and your loved ones, you include your own sanity in the mix too. As economist and ParentData blogger Emily Oster smartly put it:

“In the end, you’ll need to make all of these decisions knowing there is no way to be sure they are right, or wrong. That is the uncertainty that we need to accept to move forward.”

With that mindset, we made a decision. It involves a combination of options to get us through the summer and fall, and while I’ve got about a dozen fears and concerns about our plan, the real win here is that a decision was made.

Living in this weird pandemic bubble can feel so permanent, even when we know it’s not. As parents, impermanence is our bread and butter. We are used to uncertainty and constant change. We’ll watch our kids go from bottles and diapers to crayons and superheroes to cars and dating. And with that change builds resiliency, strength and patience – putting us in the perfect position to weather life’s challenges and make hard choices, like the ones we’re facing now.

I hope that making the tough decisions now will make our daily lives feel that much lighter when we’re not living in a pandemic. Hopefully a year from now, when I’m craving a spicy margarita, the decision to go to a Mexican restaurant will be less painstakingly difficult.

*Just a note that my heart goes out to all the working moms and dads who’ve either had less freedom of choice, or who lost their jobs due to the pandemic, or were pushed out of the workforce because they had to stay home with their kids. While the U.S. economy is on the rebound, there are still many people who are sick, many who have lost loved ones, and many who are out of work. Let’s continue to keep things in perspective.