What’s New

In March, Meat Wave barreled through a pandemic-era dissection of the American labor market with the sardonic, sawtoothed “Honest Living,” laying bare the corrosive effects of depending for your survival on a morally bankrupt system that treats you like a disposable nobody. It’s an apt first single from their fourth full-length, October’s Malign Hex (Swami), and mines that misery for a tense, bristling downhill run that foregrounds the Chicago postpunk trio’s skill at weaponizing melody. But on much of Malign Hex, Meat Wave marinate in the ugliness of the world rather than stampeding through it, setting the mood slowly and needling you with every note. These songs rumble forward with the inexorable power of a tank. Joe Gac’s bass lines, as heavy as steel-plate treads, obliterate the earth as they lay down their own tracks, and he leaves plenty of space for drummer Ryan Wizniak to crank up the foreboding with thunderclap accents or fervent propulsion. Front man Chris Sutter unloads tight guitar stabs with the precision and force of a stamping press, and his controlled shouts pop like bacon grease on a hot pan. While “Honest Living” makes being an office drone sound as shitty as it is, the lumbering “Merchandise Mart”—as formidable as its massive namesake building, which once had its own zip code—makes those soul-destroying “always on” work structures feel inescapable. More bands should aspire to play songs that big.

Meat Wave Stuck and Stress Positions open. Sat 11/12, 8:30 PM, Empty Bottle, 1035 N. Western, sold out, 21+

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In March, Meat Wave barreled through a pandemic-era dissection of the American labor market with the sardonic, sawtoothed “Honest Living,” laying bare the corrosive effects of depending for your survival on a morally bankrupt system that treats you like a disposable nobody. It’s an apt first single from their fourth full-length, October’s Malign Hex (Swami), and mines that misery for a tense, bristling downhill run that foregrounds the Chicago postpunk trio’s skill at weaponizing melody. But on much of Malign Hex, Meat Wave marinate in the ugliness of the world rather than stampeding through it, setting the mood slowly and needling you with every note. These songs rumble forward with the inexorable power of a tank. Joe Gac’s bass lines, as heavy as steel-plate treads, obliterate the earth as they lay down their own tracks, and he leaves plenty of space for drummer Ryan Wizniak to crank up the foreboding with thunderclap accents or fervent propulsion. Front man Chris Sutter unloads tight guitar stabs with the precision and force of a stamping press, and his controlled shouts pop like bacon grease on a hot pan. While “Honest Living” makes being an office drone sound as shitty as it is, the lumbering “Merchandise Mart”—as formidable as its massive namesake building, which once had its own zip code—makes those soul-destroying “always on” work structures feel inescapable. More bands should aspire to play songs that big.

Meat Wave Stuck and Stress Positions open. Sat 11/12, 8:30 PM, Empty Bottle, 1035 N. Western, sold out, 21+

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Dear Savage Love readers:  After November 14 my website Savage.Love will become the exclusive online home for my column. My column will still appear in print in some publications, but you will no longer be able to read the column online anywhere other than Savage.Love. This move will allow me to continue bringing you new columns—new questions, new answers—every week. I hope you will check out Savage.Love, where you can join the community of Savage Love readers and enjoy my latest columns, decades (!) of archives, the Savage Lovecast podcast, and much more. —Dan  

Q: I’m a woman in a hetero marriage. We’ve happily played with others a bit but not recently because we have a small child. We are both bi and in our 40s. We talked about getting the monkeypox vaccine, but I didn’t think it was urgent because we’re not currently having sex with anyone else. Here’s my question: What should I do after learning that my husband got the monkeypox vaccine without telling me? I noticed a red bump on his arm, and he said it was nothing. After I said it looked like the monkeypox vax reaction, he admitted he got the vaccine but didn’t tell me. I was in favor of him getting the vaccine, so I’m totally panicking because he sneaked to get the shot. I think he’s cheating. It’s 2 AM where I am, and I just ordered two at-home HIV/AIDS tests and I’m getting a full STI panel at my ob-gyn on Monday. What should I do? I’m a wreck. —Seriously Panicking Over Unapproved Shot And Lies

A: By the time you read this, SPOUSAL, those at-home HIV/AIDS tests will have arrived, and you will have your results. You’ll also have seen your ob-gyn and most likely gotten the results of your STI tests. Assuming there were no unpleasant surprises—assuming you’re still negative for all the same things you were negative for the last time you tested—what does that mean?

While I don’t wanna cause you another sleepless night, SPOUSAL, your test results can all be negative and your husband could still be cheating on you. But in the absence of other evidence—in the absence of any actual evidence that your husband has cheated on you—I think your husband deserves the benefit of the doubt.

Getting the monkeypox vaccine is the only fact in evidence here, SPOUSAL, and it’s a huge leap from, “My husband got the monkeypox vaccine without telling me,” and, “My husband has been cheating on me with other men during a public health crisis that has primarily impacted gay and bi men and wasn’t using condoms with those other men and knowingly put me at risk of contracting monkeypox and HIV.” If your husband has a history of being reckless about his own sexual health and yours—if he tried to go bare without your consent when you played with other people, for example, and that incident and others like it fueled your freak-out—I don’t understand why you’re still married to this man.

Zooming out for a second . . .

I can think of a few very good reasons why a married bi guy might decide to get the monkeypox vaccine even if his partner wanted him to wait. First, those shots haven’t been easy to get. If the vaccine became available where you live and/or his doctor offered it to him, it was a good idea for him to get his shots even if he’s not currently sleeping with anyone else. And why would his partner—why would you—want him to wait? If you didn’t want him to get those shots as some sort of insurance policy, e.g., if you wanted cheating to be needlessly and avoidably risky as some sort of deterrent, that seems pretty reckless. 

Sometimes, SPOUSAL, the likely excuse is the honest answer. I’m guessing your husband got his shots because he hopes you—the both of you—can start playing with others again in the near future and he wants to be ready. Guys have to wait a month after getting their first shot before getting their second shot, and another two weeks after that before they’re fully immune. (Or as immune as they’re going to get.) If your husband has been looking forward to opening your relationship back up—by mutual consent—sometime in the near future, he most likely wanted to be ready to go when you decided, together, to resume playing with others. And he didn’t tell you he was getting the shots because, although he wanted to be ready to go when the time came, he knew you weren’t ready and didn’t want you to feel rushed or pressured.

My analysis of the situation presumes your husband isn’t a lying, cheating, inconsiderate, reckless asshole and deserves the benefit of the doubt here. You know your husband better than I do, SPOUSAL, and it’s entirely possible that your husband has proven himself to be a liar and a cheat and an inconsiderate asshole and a reckless idiot again and again and again.

But if that’s the case—if he’s all of those horrible, no-good, disqualifying things and, therefore, not deserving the benefit of the doubt here—I would ask you again (and again and again): Why are you still married to him then?

Q: I need advice as to how to restart the “sex with others” part of my life because cancer surgery left me without erections, and it is not fixable. I can have intense orgasms if I masturbate or get oral sex on my flaccid penis. I am a 73-year-old male, and I have been into kink since I was a teen, so I understand that there is much more than PIV that can give one pleasure. I also understand that for the vast majority of people, PIV is what sex is about. People come on to me often, so I have no problem attracting people. What is your advice as to how to present this issue when someone shows interest in me? With online dating, I would like to be upfront and put it in my profile, but I’m a public figure and can’t just post a picture of myself in a dating app and disclose this. Do you have any suggestions about dating online where I can omit putting my picture? I’m attracted to females, cis and trans. I have never been with a transgender woman, but after surviving cancer I am more open to everything now than I was before. (Seeing the end of life up close really removes a lot of blocks.) I am not attracted to males at all. What word best to describes my sexual likes? —Giving But Not Hard

A: You’re . . .

Go to Savage.Love to read the rest.

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Dear Savage Love readers:  After November 14 my website Savage.Love will become the exclusive online home for my column. My column will still appear in print in some publications, but you will no longer be able to read the column online anywhere other than Savage.Love. This move will allow me to continue bringing you new columns—new questions, new answers—every week. I hope you will check out Savage.Love, where you can join the community of Savage Love readers and enjoy my latest columns, decades (!) of archives, the Savage Lovecast podcast, and much more. —Dan  

Q: I’m a woman in a hetero marriage. We’ve happily played with others a bit but not recently because we have a small child. We are both bi and in our 40s. We talked about getting the monkeypox vaccine, but I didn’t think it was urgent because we’re not currently having sex with anyone else. Here’s my question: What should I do after learning that my husband got the monkeypox vaccine without telling me? I noticed a red bump on his arm, and he said it was nothing. After I said it looked like the monkeypox vax reaction, he admitted he got the vaccine but didn’t tell me. I was in favor of him getting the vaccine, so I’m totally panicking because he sneaked to get the shot. I think he’s cheating. It’s 2 AM where I am, and I just ordered two at-home HIV/AIDS tests and I’m getting a full STI panel at my ob-gyn on Monday. What should I do? I’m a wreck. —Seriously Panicking Over Unapproved Shot And Lies

A: By the time you read this, SPOUSAL, those at-home HIV/AIDS tests will have arrived, and you will have your results. You’ll also have seen your ob-gyn and most likely gotten the results of your STI tests. Assuming there were no unpleasant surprises—assuming you’re still negative for all the same things you were negative for the last time you tested—what does that mean?

While I don’t wanna cause you another sleepless night, SPOUSAL, your test results can all be negative and your husband could still be cheating on you. But in the absence of other evidence—in the absence of any actual evidence that your husband has cheated on you—I think your husband deserves the benefit of the doubt.

Getting the monkeypox vaccine is the only fact in evidence here, SPOUSAL, and it’s a huge leap from, “My husband got the monkeypox vaccine without telling me,” and, “My husband has been cheating on me with other men during a public health crisis that has primarily impacted gay and bi men and wasn’t using condoms with those other men and knowingly put me at risk of contracting monkeypox and HIV.” If your husband has a history of being reckless about his own sexual health and yours—if he tried to go bare without your consent when you played with other people, for example, and that incident and others like it fueled your freak-out—I don’t understand why you’re still married to this man.

Zooming out for a second . . .

I can think of a few very good reasons why a married bi guy might decide to get the monkeypox vaccine even if his partner wanted him to wait. First, those shots haven’t been easy to get. If the vaccine became available where you live and/or his doctor offered it to him, it was a good idea for him to get his shots even if he’s not currently sleeping with anyone else. And why would his partner—why would you—want him to wait? If you didn’t want him to get those shots as some sort of insurance policy, e.g., if you wanted cheating to be needlessly and avoidably risky as some sort of deterrent, that seems pretty reckless. 

Sometimes, SPOUSAL, the likely excuse is the honest answer. I’m guessing your husband got his shots because he hopes you—the both of you—can start playing with others again in the near future and he wants to be ready. Guys have to wait a month after getting their first shot before getting their second shot, and another two weeks after that before they’re fully immune. (Or as immune as they’re going to get.) If your husband has been looking forward to opening your relationship back up—by mutual consent—sometime in the near future, he most likely wanted to be ready to go when you decided, together, to resume playing with others. And he didn’t tell you he was getting the shots because, although he wanted to be ready to go when the time came, he knew you weren’t ready and didn’t want you to feel rushed or pressured.

My analysis of the situation presumes your husband isn’t a lying, cheating, inconsiderate, reckless asshole and deserves the benefit of the doubt here. You know your husband better than I do, SPOUSAL, and it’s entirely possible that your husband has proven himself to be a liar and a cheat and an inconsiderate asshole and a reckless idiot again and again and again.

But if that’s the case—if he’s all of those horrible, no-good, disqualifying things and, therefore, not deserving the benefit of the doubt here—I would ask you again (and again and again): Why are you still married to him then?

Q: I need advice as to how to restart the “sex with others” part of my life because cancer surgery left me without erections, and it is not fixable. I can have intense orgasms if I masturbate or get oral sex on my flaccid penis. I am a 73-year-old male, and I have been into kink since I was a teen, so I understand that there is much more than PIV that can give one pleasure. I also understand that for the vast majority of people, PIV is what sex is about. People come on to me often, so I have no problem attracting people. What is your advice as to how to present this issue when someone shows interest in me? With online dating, I would like to be upfront and put it in my profile, but I’m a public figure and can’t just post a picture of myself in a dating app and disclose this. Do you have any suggestions about dating online where I can omit putting my picture? I’m attracted to females, cis and trans. I have never been with a transgender woman, but after surviving cancer I am more open to everything now than I was before. (Seeing the end of life up close really removes a lot of blocks.) I am not attracted to males at all. What word best to describes my sexual likes? —Giving But Not Hard

A: You’re . . .

Go to Savage.Love to read the rest.

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Monday Night Foodball time means a chance to sample wares from some of the latest food purveyors to join Chicago’s sea of great chefs and food pop-ups. Tonight is no exception as the siblings Emilio and Santiago Guererro bring their “plant-based, precolonial taqueria” Piñatta to the Kedzie Inn’s kitchen (4100 N. Kedzie). Read more about the pop-up here, and walk in and order starting at 5 PM (no reservations required). (SCJ)

Pay equity has increasingly become a hot topic in theater, with Chicago’s On Our Team and other organizations leading the way through tools like the Chicago Pay Equity Standards. If you’d like to know more about the movement and learn how you as a patron can better advocate for the financial stability of people making art, there’s a panel on “The Pay’s the Thing” tonight at 5:30 PM at Columbia College Chicago’s Theatre Building (62-72 E. 11th), moderated by Cody Estle, artistic director of Raven Theatre. (Estle departs Raven in December for Next Act Theatre in Milwaukee; moving the company to a Chicago Area Theatre, or CAT, Equity contract to help ensure more financial support for artists was one of the goals he and managing director Markie Gray worked on during his tenure.) The panelists include Elsa Hiltner of On Our Team, Lauren Katz of Steppenwolf Theatre, Logan Jones, the marketing director for About Face Theatre, and Jan Feldman, executive director of Lawyers for the Creative Arts. It’s free, but you can make a reservation at eventbrite.com. (KR)

Some music options (with links to past Reader coverage):

The Rembrandt Chamber Musicians present an all-Mozart program at PianoForte Studios (7:30 PM, 1335 S. Michigan, $15, all-ages, tickets at the group’s Square site).
It’s a night of new electronic dance-pop (is it all hyperpop? perhaps?) at Co-Prosperity, as Hyd, Umru, and Equip perform (8 PM, 3219 S. Morgan, $20, 18+, tickets at Eventbrite).
Indie-pop group Girl K opens for Atlanta’s Lunar Vacation tonight at Subterranean (8 PM, 2011 W. North, $22, 17+, tickets at TicketWeb).
Elastic Arts hosts two sets of collaborations between French and American musicians in conjunction with The Bridge, a cultural exchange program. First set features trombonist Steve Berry with Erwan Keravec on bagpipes and Will Faber on guitar (8 PM, 3429 W. Diversey, second floor, $10-$15, all-ages, tickets at the door). (SCJ)

The Pilsen Housing Cooperative (PIHCO) is an organization created by community members as a response to gentrification and rising rent prices in the neighborhood. PIHCO’s member-owners work together to maintain limited-equity and scattered-site housing, and the group is seeking to purchase a third building this year, which would open up 18 more units of “community-powered housing.” Tonight PIHCO hosts a fundraiser at Simone’s Bar (7-9:30 PM, 960 W. 18th St.) featuring a silent auction, a game of lotería, and more. It’s $5 at the door, and open to those 21+; details are at the organization’s website. (SCJ)

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Monday Night Foodball time means a chance to sample wares from some of the latest food purveyors to join Chicago’s sea of great chefs and food pop-ups. Tonight is no exception as the siblings Emilio and Santiago Guererro bring their “plant-based, precolonial taqueria” Piñatta to the Kedzie Inn’s kitchen (4100 N. Kedzie). Read more about the pop-up here, and walk in and order starting at 5 PM (no reservations required). (SCJ)

Pay equity has increasingly become a hot topic in theater, with Chicago’s On Our Team and other organizations leading the way through tools like the Chicago Pay Equity Standards. If you’d like to know more about the movement and learn how you as a patron can better advocate for the financial stability of people making art, there’s a panel on “The Pay’s the Thing” tonight at 5:30 PM at Columbia College Chicago’s Theatre Building (62-72 E. 11th), moderated by Cody Estle, artistic director of Raven Theatre. (Estle departs Raven in December for Next Act Theatre in Milwaukee; moving the company to a Chicago Area Theatre, or CAT, Equity contract to help ensure more financial support for artists was one of the goals he and managing director Markie Gray worked on during his tenure.) The panelists include Elsa Hiltner of On Our Team, Lauren Katz of Steppenwolf Theatre, Logan Jones, the marketing director for About Face Theatre, and Jan Feldman, executive director of Lawyers for the Creative Arts. It’s free, but you can make a reservation at eventbrite.com. (KR)

Some music options (with links to past Reader coverage):

The Rembrandt Chamber Musicians present an all-Mozart program at PianoForte Studios (7:30 PM, 1335 S. Michigan, $15, all-ages, tickets at the group’s Square site).
It’s a night of new electronic dance-pop (is it all hyperpop? perhaps?) at Co-Prosperity, as Hyd, Umru, and Equip perform (8 PM, 3219 S. Morgan, $20, 18+, tickets at Eventbrite).
Indie-pop group Girl K opens for Atlanta’s Lunar Vacation tonight at Subterranean (8 PM, 2011 W. North, $22, 17+, tickets at TicketWeb).
Elastic Arts hosts two sets of collaborations between French and American musicians in conjunction with The Bridge, a cultural exchange program. First set features trombonist Steve Berry with Erwan Keravec on bagpipes and Will Faber on guitar (8 PM, 3429 W. Diversey, second floor, $10-$15, all-ages, tickets at the door). (SCJ)

The Pilsen Housing Cooperative (PIHCO) is an organization created by community members as a response to gentrification and rising rent prices in the neighborhood. PIHCO’s member-owners work together to maintain limited-equity and scattered-site housing, and the group is seeking to purchase a third building this year, which would open up 18 more units of “community-powered housing.” Tonight PIHCO hosts a fundraiser at Simone’s Bar (7-9:30 PM, 960 W. 18th St.) featuring a silent auction, a game of lotería, and more. It’s $5 at the door, and open to those 21+; details are at the organization’s website. (SCJ)

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Notre Dame had a brutal start to their 2022 season. They just couldn’t get themselves going and it took them out of the playoff conversation very early. It was a tough way for Marcus Freeman to start his NCAA head coaching career but we all knew he’d figure it out eventually.

He finally earned his signature win as a head coach over this past weekend as the Notre Dame Fighting Irish took down Clemson who was number four on the College Football Playoff rankings from the previous week. That was a huge win for the Irish that shook things up big time.

Clemson is more than likely not going to be in the playoff now and it is all Notre Dame’s doing after that awesome win. Clemson felt fraudulent all season long anyway so the Irish just spared them of more national embarrassment once the playoff rolled around.

Now, the AP Polls don’t really mean anything anymore now that the College Football Playoff rankings are coming out each week but they still give you a good idea of where the committee might be (or at least close).

Notre Dame is finally back to being a ranked squad during the 2022 season.

Notre Dame finally has their respect back as they are ranked at number 20. That still isn’t good enough for Fighting Irish standards but after being unranked sine the beginning of the season, this is amazing news for the program going forward.

It has been a couple of weeks since the Irish have lost a game and it looks like they are going to have a very good chance of finishing strong. They have Navy and Boston College before their annual matchup with USC. The season finale might be tough but we just saw what they did to Clemson.

Marcus Freeman’s program might be able to keep up the good play and continue building for 2023. There is a lot of work to be done but they appear to be back on the right track. To be honest, it is nice to see them ranked again because that means that they are being seen as a comeback type of squad.

Even if they close out the season with three wins (a win over USC would be just as impressive as the one over Clemson), this week will go down as the most memorable because of the fact that they beat a huge College Football Playoff contender to get some ranking respect back. Hopepfully, the good play keeps up.

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On a day where the Chicago Bears lost a close game to the Miami Dolphins, fans could still relish the moment.

What moment?

It was all about Justin Fields.

The second-year pro turned in the best game of his professional career, as a whole, accounting for 301 total yards and four touchdowns. 178 of those yards came on the ground, which also happened to break the single-game record for rushing yards by a quarterback previously held by Michael Vick.

This year isn’t necessarily all about wins and losses, if Bears fans are being honest. If Fields turns out to be the franchise quarterback, then the future looks bright.

Meanwhile across the Midwest, a sworn enemy is trending in the opposite direction. Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers has been off this year — and had one of the worst games of his career this week against the Detroit Lions, throwing three interceptions in the red zone.

Justin Fields is ascending for the Chicago Bears while Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers are going the exact opposite direction.

Over his last four games, Fields has accounted for the following:

1,051 total yards

10 total touchdowns

2 interceptions

64 percent completion

Fields is playing on an offense that has accounted for the following in their last four games:

31.3 points

376.3 yards

0.6 turnovers

55 percent 3rd Down conversion

Over 34 min. average time of possession

Now, let’s take a look at Rodgers’ last four games:

985 total yards

6 total touchdowns

4 interceptions

61 percent completion

And, the Packers’ offense over the last four games:

14.25 points

324.5 yards

1.5 turnovers

37 percent 3rd Down conversion

30 min. average time of possession

The Packers are losers of five in a row, with a quarterback nearing retirement. On the flip side, the Bears have found their franchise quarterback for the next decade-plus and will be going into an offseason, next year, with over $120 million in cap space and a plethora of draft picks.

Fields is on the rise while Rodgers is on a fierce decline. What world are we living in?

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