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Pregnant woman is concerned about the change in behavior of her formerly happy and positive mother.

DEAR ABBY: I’m eight months pregnant with my first child. My usually happy and positive mother is becoming increasingly quick to become negative or angry. The change in her personality has my husband and me concerned about our little one growing up around her.

We don’t want our child to assume these characteristics by imitating her grandmother. I can’t imagine Mom not being around her first grandchild, and I know I’ll need her help, but I can’t bear the thought of our child mirroring these behaviors. How do we proceed? — FIRST-TIME MOM IN FLORIDA

DEAR MOM: You may be worried needlessly, but try to figure out what is going on with your Mom that would account for her recent personality change. Talk to her about it and raise your concerns. I say this because she may need to be examined by her doctor to determine if something is medically or neurologically wrong with her. If nothing is wrong, you and your husband may need to decide if you would be more comfortable limiting your mother’s time with the baby and hiring someone to help you care for your child.

DEAR ABBY: I’m a musician — a bass guitar player. I’ve been playing for more than 50 years and have been told I’m very good. My problem is my neighbor. He plays guitar and writes songs, neither of which he does well.

From time to time, I’ll help him out by laying down the bass track for his songs. But lately he has begun referring to me as “my bass player.” I don’t WANT to be his bass player. I get no enjoyment from playing with him.

I try my best to avoid him now because he constantly asks me to play. Most of the time, I give him some lame excuse to avoid it. Is there any way I can get out of playing without telling him how I feel about his music? — NOT HIS BASS PLAYER

DEAR NOT HIS BASS: You could tell him that your schedule is so full you don’t have time to do it, you have “other commitments” or you are concentrating on your own music these days. However, if those excuses don’t work, I guarantee that telling him the whole truth will.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I have been having food wars with our parents ever since we started dating. Because of our lack of money, we can’t move out of our parents’ houses yet. My parents fight or yell at me for wanting to eat the kind of food we want to eat. My fiance’s mother wants us to never buy our own food and to eat hamburgers and hot dogs every night. She even goes through the trash and yells at my fiance about spending money on food when it’s his own money he is spending. How can we keep the peace? So far, we have been eating in the car like nomads. — WHAT’S EATING US IN OHIO

DEAR WHAT’S EATING: Tolerating your parents’ behavior is the price you and your fiance are paying for roofs over your heads until the two of you can save enough for a place of your own. Until that happens, you may have to bide your time and continue “eating in the car like nomads.” (I hope you are both eating as healthfully as you can.)

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order “How to Be Popular.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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Ten people were wounded by gunfire in Chicago Thursday. | Sun-Times file

In one of the attacks, a 15-year-old boy was shot while sitting in a car in Back of the Yards.

A 15-year-old boy was one of ten people wounded in citywide shootings Thursday.

About 1:35 p.m., the boy was sitting in a vehicle in the 4800 block of South Ada Street when another vehicle pulled up alongside and someone inside opened fire, Chicago police said. The boy was struck in the right shoulder and transported to Comer Children’s Hospital in good condition, police said.
Two tow truck drivers, 37 and 38, were standing outside their truck on a crash scene about 3:05 a.m. in the 2700 block of North Central Avenue when someone in a passing gray or gold SUV opened fire, striking them both, police said. The older man was shot in the head, shoulder and torso, while the younger man was shot multiple times throughout the body, police said. Both self-transported to Community First Hospital with the 37-year-old being transferred to Illinois Masonic Medical Center and the other man to Stroger Hospital, police said. The younger man was listed in critical condition, while the 38-year-old is in good condition, police said.
A man was shot in his room in West Rogers Park on the North Side. About 11:20 p.m., the man’s mom heard a loud noise and found the 22-year-old in his room in the 6300 block of North Albany Avenue, police said. A friend who was with him attempted to render aid until he was taken to Saint Francis Hospital with a gunshot wound to his abdomen, where his condition was stabilized, police said.

Six others were wounded by gunfire in Chicago Thursday.

A 15-year-old boy was among four people killed and a 16-year-old boy among four others wounded in citywide shootings Wednesday.

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A woman was fatally shot inside her home Friday morning on the South Side. | Sun-Times file photo

The 25-year-old was in the front room of her home in the 7600 block of South May Street about 1:45 a.m. when she was struck in the chest by gunfire, Chicago police said.

A woman was fatally shot Friday morning inside her home in Gresham on the South Side.

The 25-year-old was in the front room of her home in the 7600 block of South May Street about 1:45 a.m. when she was struck in the chest by gunfire, Chicago police said.

She was taken to the University of Chicago Medical Center, where she was pronounced dead, police said.

No one was in custody.

There have been 34 homicides in the Auburn Gresham community area — three more than the community had for all of last year, according to Sun-Times data.

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Moon Alert

Avoid shopping or making important decisions from 10 a.m. to 8:30 p.m. Chicago time. After that, the moon moves from Leo into Virgo.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

“Whoa Nellie!” Be careful because most of this day is a moon alert. The good news is it’s a creative day for you! It’s a fabulous day to schmooze and socialize with others, so get out and have fun! However, during the moon alert, restrict your spending to food and gas. Don’t shop.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

This is an excellent day to entertain at home and enjoy warm family discussions, especially with a female relative. You might also enjoy cocooning at home and settling down in front of the TV with your favorite snacks because most of this day is a moon alert.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

You are a curious person who loves catching up on gossip. You also love an adoring peanut gallery. Today is a great day to schmooze with others! Enjoy short trips, appointments and errands; however, restrict shopping to food and gas. Postpone important decisions.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Be careful: The moon is in your Money House and it’s a moon alert. Therefore, be careful! Postpone important financial negotiations. When it comes to spending money, restrict purchases to food and gas. Be safe and protect your assets.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

This is a fun-loving, upbeat day! Enjoy schmoozing with others and exploring the arts, social outings and sports events. You might also enjoy playful activities with kids. However, please note that today is a moon alert, which means restrict spending to food and gas.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

This is a good day to hunker down at home and enjoy family discussions. However, agree to nothing important because today is a moon alert. Therefore, relax, have a good time today. Socialize with others in a low-key way, but restrict shopping to food and gas.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Today the moon is in your House of Friendships. Furthermore, it’s a moon alert. Keep things light. Avoid important decisions. Nevertheless, you will enjoy warm times with friends and relating to groups. Do not volunteer for anything.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

You are high visibility today. People will notice you more than usual, especially bosses, parents, VIPs and the police. (People in authority.) Because today is a moon alert, just coast. Make no important decisions. Don’t shop (except for food). Easy does it.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

This is an exciting day for you because you have a chance to explore new ideas, talk to people from different backgrounds and possibly travel. All things that you enjoy doing. The thing to remember is that most of this day is a moon alert, which means restrict spending to food and gas.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Be careful because today the moon is in one of your Money Houses, specifically the one relating to shared income, debt and taxes. Because of the moon alert, make no important decisions regarding these matters. If shopping, restrict spending to food and gas.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

You will have to go more than halfway when dealing with others because the moon is directly opposite your sign today. Hey, this is no biggie. It simply requires cooperation and tolerance. Be aware of the restrictions of the moon alert.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

Because of the moon alert today, you might be a bit frustrated at work because shortages and confused decisions might dog your footsteps. Postpone important decisions. (Definitely.) Restrict spending money to food and gas. Nevertheless, this is an upbeat, playful day. Enjoy!

If Your Birthday Is Today

Singer Tina Turner (1939) shares your birthday. You are a seeker in life who is an idealist. You also have common sense and a good sense of humor. The theme of service will be in your life this year, which is why you have to take care of yourself so that you can be helpful to others, especially family. Actually it’s a good year for a personal makeover.

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Ahmaud Arbery’s mother Wanda Cooper-Jones, shown after the jury reached its guilty verdicts in the case against three men in the slaying of her son. Greg McMichael,his son, Travis McMichael, and a neighbor, William “Roddie” Bryan, charged in the death of Ahmaud Arbery were convicted of murder Wednesday. | Associated Press

After the verdicts were read, Wanda Cooper-Jones thought of her son’s supporters at the Glynn County Courthouse who shouted “Justice for Ahmaud!” every day. “I finally got a chance to come out of those courtroom doors and say, we did it, we did it together.”

BRUNSWICK, Ga. — Ahmaud Arbery’s mother woke up Thursday with a new, very important blessing on Thanksgiving Day.

But there will still be an empty chair at the family’s celebrations. It is a reminder that while she feels justice was served when three white men were convicted Wednesday for cornering and killing her son as he ran through a coastal Georgia neighborhood, she will never be made whole again. Her son is gone.

“This is the second Thanksgiving we’ve had without Ahmaud. But at the same time I’m thankful. This is the first Thanksgiving we are saying we got justice for Ahmaud,” Arbery’s mother, Wanda Cooper-Jones, told The Associated Press in an interview Thursday.

The three white men who chased and killed Arbery in Brunswick in February 2020 were all convicted of murder Wednesday. They cornered Arbery after finding out he had been seen on a surveillance camera at a nearby house under construction and wanted to question him about recent burglaries in the area.

Arbery ran through the neighborhood and other areas near his home to clear his head. He had nothing in his hands and ran from the men for five minutes before one of them shot three times at him at close range with a shotgun. The men face life in prison when they are sentenced later and a federal hate crimes trial for them is scheduled for February.

Cooper-Jones said after the verdicts were read Wednesday, she thought of her son’s supporters at the Glynn County Courthouse who had shouted “Justice for Ahmaud!” every day.

“I finally got a chance to come out of those courtroom doors and say, we did it, we did it together,” Cooper-Jones said.

Sitting beside Cooper-Jones as she heard the judge read out guilty 23 times was the mother of Ronald Greene, a Louisiana man who died in 2019 after he was beaten and put in a chokehold by state troopers after a high speed chase. Troopers said Greene suffered his injuries in a crash, but his doctors reported that didn’t appear to be true. A federal civil rights investigation into Greene’s death continues.

In the days after her son was killed, Cooper-Jones got a call from the mother of Trayvon Martin, an unarmed Black teen killed by a man who successfully claimed self-defense during his murder trial after confronting Martin as he walked in his gated community. Martin was visiting relatives.

She also spoke with the mother of Breonna Taylor. Taylor was killed by Louisville, Kentucky, police who burst into her home without knocking while serving a warrant during a drug operation. Taylor’s boyfriend fired on the group. The officers were not charged in her death.

Other mothers who have lost sons and daughters to racial violence or in police shootings also reached out. Cooper-Jones calls them a sorority.

“We come together. We share our experience and we grow together,” she said.

Cooper-Jones spent the past six weeks away from home, since jury selection started Oct. 18. She moved away from Brunswick after her son was killed.

So she plans a quiet Thanksgiving away from home today. She isn’t sure if they will make Arbery’s favorite — pork chops and butter beans, but if not Thursday, they will have them soon because she said her son loved them for Sunday dinner.

“Today is actually going to be a day of rest. I’ve been sitting in that courtroom since October 18,” Cooper-Jones said. “I’m gathering my immediate family. We’re going to have a small dinner. We’ve going to be thankful. We’re going to give our praises to God.”

Other relatives are also grateful for the blessing of justice.

“We’re thankful for Ahmaud’s life. Thankful for the love that he’s shown us, for the years we had him. Thankful for the fight we stayed in for justice. Thankful that now we can start healing,” Arbery’s aunt Thea Brooks told the AP.

Cooper-Jones is also thankful her son’s killers are facing justice and his death will make Georgia a safer place.

After Arbery’s death, Georgia became the 47th state to pass a hate crimes law. The Legislature also repealed the citizen’s arrest law that defense attorneys tried to use to justify chasing him, banning people who aren’t officers from detaining people outside of shoplifting.

“When they hear my son’s name. they will say, this young man, he lost his life but he did bring change,” Cooper-Jones said.

Associated Press writers Alex Sanz in Atlanta and Russ Bynum in Savannah, Georgia, contributed to this report.

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Bears coach Matt Nagy looks on during the fourth quarter at Ford Field. | Nic Antaya/Getty Images

Sure it was the Lions, but a win is a win.

Patrick Finley and Jason Lieser break down the Bears’ 16-14 win against the Lions after the longest week at Halas Hall in years.

New episodes of “Halas Intrigue” will be published regularly with accompanying stories collected on the podcast’s hub page. You can also listen to “Halas Intrigue” wherever you get your podcasts, including Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Luminary, Spotify, and Stitcher.

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Matt Nagy (left, with headset) said he felt the emotion of his players in a 16-14 victory over the Lions on Thursday at Ford Field. “There was a lot of love and support, which I appreciate,” Nagy said. | Duane Burleson/AP

After a tumultuous week, the Bears’ head coach felt the support of his players in a 16-14 win over the Lions. “They told me they were going to do it and they did it. How cool is that?”

After a tumultuous and chaotic week at Halas Hall, the Bears rallied around their beleaguered head coach Thursday at Ford Field — and barely squeaked by a winless Lions team that at times seemed trying harder to lose than to win.

But Matt Nagy will take it. A win is a win, and Nagy gladly accepted the Bears’ 16-14 victory over the Lions on Cairo Santos’ 28-yard field goal as time expired as a show of support in a time of uncertainty.

“I do, and not just me,” Nagy said. “The other part of this, too, is as Ryan [general manager Ryan Pace] and I do this thing together, they rallied around all of us — not just me, the coaches. In the coaching world, you have assistant coaches, so we’re all part of this thing. And we’re all working together here and I think that’s what’s impressive.”

The shaky victory was unlikely a game-changer for Nagy. But he’s so focused on the moment — to his credit, but also perhaps to a fault — that it doesn’t matter. His team won Thursday. And he wasn’t fired.

What a relief?

“No, it’s just joy,” Nagy said. “The biggest part for me — and I’m not built this way about being selfish — this is about the team. This is selfless for them. Those guys are the ones out there practicing every single day to fight like hell to get a win.

“It’s hard. You either win or you lose in this league. We had two close ones the last two weeks. It’s a big difference if you win those. We didn’t. But we won today. You can’t take that away from those guys. There’s a joy in that locker room. They’re going to have a great Thanksgiving today because they earned it and they fought like hell. They told me they were gonna do it and they did it. How cool is that?”

That was the gist of the players’ message, anyway, when quarterback Andy Dalton, linebacker Roquan Smith and other leaders spoke at a team meeting Wednesday.

“It’s something that we’ll probably just keep to the team,” Dalton said. “Matt wanted me to say something. And I did. And I just spoke from the heart.”

Tight end Cole Kmet said the idea was to win for Nagy. But overcoming the distractions of the erroneous report that Nagy had been told Thursday would be his last game as head coach — and the firestorm that followed — was the biggest tribute to the respect they have for their coach.

“I think at the end of the day we just did this for ourselves — as players, as a team, with coaches involved and just the organization in general,” Kmet said.

As for Nagy, his status as the Bears’ head coach remains day to day. And, publicly at least, he seems fine with that. He talked with Bears chairman George McCaskey and president Ted Phillips after the brouhaha over the report of his imminent firing. But he wouldn’t say if his future was discussed at that meeting. All he wanted to know, he said, was that the report of his firing was not true.

“I think everybody can understand [that] that’s an internal discussion we had,” he said. “But the biggest part of that discussion was [the report]. The next part is me making sure we didn’t have too much of a distraction take away from practice. It didn’t. That’s that. That’s about what it was.”

Nagy’s job status will remain an issue until McCaskey and Phillips clarify it one way or the other. But Nagy seemed only interested in beating the Cardinals next week.

“My understanding, which is what it’s been since the day I signed to be [the Bears’] coach,” Nagy said, “is to win as many games as I can possibly win and do it the right way. When you lose five games in a row, you understand, and when you’re 3-7, you know that territory you can get to. That comes with the job.”

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Bears quarterback Andy Dalton scrambles for a first down against the Lions during the fourth quarter Thursday. | Mike Mulholland/Getty Images

Justin Fields, who hurt his ribs against the Ravens, needs to start the minute he’s healthy enough to do so — as soon as Dec. 5 against the Cardinals.

DETROIT — Andy Dalton stood in front of his teammates and coaches on Wednesday night at the Bears’ team hotel. After the most game chaotic week at Halas Hall in years — an amazing, statement, considering it was only three days — the team’s deposed starting-quarterback-turned-injury-replacement issued a message.

“Just go out there and get our swag back,” receiver Darnell Mooney said. “Have fun. Just let everything loose. No stressing out, no tension or anything.”

A one-source report about coach Matt Nagy’s pending firing — which turned out to be incorrect — ratcheted up the tension at Halas Hall on Tuesday and Wednesday.

“To get the guys’ eyes and ears open, someone had to step up and say something,” outside linebacker Robert Quinn said.

The 11-year veteran had lived through coaching drama in Cincinnati. He also appreciated the value of an opportunity — for the Bears playing on Thanksgiving, and for himself getting his first start in 10 weeks.

“I just felt like it was something in talking about what we needed in this moment,” Dalton said.

Wednesday, Dalton was the leader Nagy needed at his lowest point. Thursday, he was the steadying force the Bears needed under center in a 16-13 win against the lowly Lions.

Nagy can’t let either performance tempt him into playing Dalton any longer than he needs to, though. Justin Fields, whom NFL Network said cracked his ribs against the Ravens, needs to start the minute he’s healthy enough to do so — as soon as Dec. 5 against the Cardinals.

Nagy said this week that Fields is his starter when he’s healthy. That’s reassuring, considering how much Nagy struggled to make the same declaration earlier this season. Fields is the future of the franchise, no matter who is the head coach in 2022.

Thursday, Dalton provided a tourniquet. He was as dependable on the field as he was in front of a ballroom the night before, completing 24-of-39 passes for 317 yards — the most for a Bears quarterback since Nick Foles had 335 on Nov. 8, 2020. He had an 85.1 passer rating, committing the unpardonable sin of throwing an interception in the end zone.

With considerable help from the bumbling Lions, he orchestrated an 18-play, 69-yard drive that ran the last 8:30 off the clock and ended in Cairo Santos’ game-winning field goal.

“There were times, things that we want back,” Nagy said. “But in the end that last drive shows who they are. … To not give them the ball back, to win the game there is a credit to Andy and the rest of those guys.”

Dalton did that without a single live play with the starters in practice this week — the Bears held only walk-throughs — or, really, any since Fields took over.

“Some of the things we had worked on in the summer — we kind of had chemistry,” said Mooney, who led the Bears with 123 receiving yards. “So it was kind of easy to be on the same page during the game.”

Nagy had asked Dalton to speak Wednesday after the veteran spoke up during a quarterbacks meeting. It made for a compelling alliance: Dalton rallying the team around the man who told him he’d be the starter this season, then kept Fields in the role even once he recovered from a bone bruise in his knee.

“I’ve been through a lot this year,” Dalton said. “And I think just kind of how I’ve handled things, and how I’ve gone about staying true to who I am and who I was created to be. I think that allows me to have a voice on this team, regardless of if I was playing or if I wasn’t playing. It just happened to be that I was playing this week.

“So I felt like with the experience I’ve had, everything that I’ve been through, I feel I can talk to guys. And they’ll listen.”

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Coach Matt Nagy and quarterback Andy Dalton fist bump during the Bears’ 16-14 victory over the Lions on Thursday. | Photo by Nic Antaya/Getty Images

But the New Year shouldn’t be as kind to you and GM Ryan Pace.

If anyone tells me that the Bears still have a chance of going 10-7 this season, I will hunt them down and make them read Pat McCaskey’s 2009 book “Bear With Me: A Family History of George Halas and the Chicago Bears” as punishment. Consider yourself warned.

I’m not scared of the possibility that the Bears, who beat the Lions 16-14 Thursday to end a five-game losing streak, will win their final six games. I’m concerned that the McCaskeys, looking for an escape route to avoid firing anybody, will hear even one positive voice and think it’s a chorus of support for the status quo.

We somehow made it past this week’s bizarro report that ownership was going to fire coach Matt Nagy after the Detroit game. That didn’t come to pass for two reasons: 1) a firing makes no sense at this point of the season and 2) the McCaskey family drives the 45 mph minimum when the speed limit on the Highway of Change is 70. But it’s the holidays, when NFL’s silly season of rumors kicks in, so there we were, chasing ghosts.

The bogus report of Nagy’s imminent firing was concerning for one big reason: It gave life to the very dark thought that the Bears might get rid of Nagy but keep general manager Ryan Pace. Pace, you might remember, hired Nagy in 2018 to turn Mitch Trubisky into a great quarterback and the Bears’ offense into an unstoppable force. We all know how that turned out. Pace is also the guy who drafted Trubisky with the second overall pick of the 2017 draft, a transgression worthy of a prison term in several countries.

Nagy wasn’t canned Thursday, which could mean that, fingers crossed, Pace is just as likely to be fired after the season as Nagy is.

That’s what passes for hope these days with the Bears.

It’s hard to ponder this franchise for any amount of time without feeling trapped. You celebrate the idea that Nagy will be gone soon but worry that Pace could still be part of your ongoing nightmare. You smile at the thought of both men looking for new jobs but remember that team chairman George McCaskey will be the one to OK their replacements. You embrace the saying that even a stopped clock is right twice a day and then you remember that ownership tells time with a sundial.

It feels like an endless chess game.

I can give you 50 reasons why Pace should be fired at the same time as Nagy. I can give you one reason why the McCaskeys would keep Pace: They don’t want to have to hire someone to hire Pace’s successor.

It really does hurt your head to get drawn into this world.

Thursday’s game didn’t matter in any appreciable way, except to the participants. The Bears went in with a 3-7 record, and the Lions punched in at 0-9-1. It looked exactly like you’d think a matchup of two bad teams would. A victory is a victory, though a confirmed cynic would point out that two of the Bears’ four victories this season have come against Detroit.

After Thursday’s game, Nagy gushed about how hard the players had competed and how supportive they had been during the week’s distractions.

“As Ryan and I do this thing together, they rallied around all of us,” Nagy said.

It was nice of Nagy to show his unity with Pace there, wasn’t it? Not sure Pace was happy about being lashed to the same mast Nagy was clinging to, though.

Andy Dalton, filling in at quarterback for an injured Justin Fields, threw for 317 yards. I don’t know what any of it means – the yards, the quarterback, the victory. I don’t know if the Bears are better with Dalton as the starter, and I don’t know if Fields is going to be great.

What I really don’t know is where this whole thing is headed. I know where it should go, to Take-A-Hikesville, but the Bears are a gallingly stubborn franchise.

If you’re feeling in any way charitable toward Pace and Nagy during Thanksgiving, just remember that the Bears have had at least a four-game losing streak in each of the past three seasons. That, along with all the dumb penalties and bad timeouts during that span, speaks of an organization that isn’t mentally strong. And that reflects poorly on Nagy and on Pace, who has spent six years talking about the wonderful “culture” he has built.

That culture might be driving the unsettling talk of a rebound by the Bears.

“There’s still a lot of season left,” Dalton said.

That’s what worries me.

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