Mapping an American Vaccination Plan
today at 1:17 pm
Most societies are burdened with a lunatic fringe or two. America, I’m afraid, suffers several more than that. And the biggest one–the size and disposition of an armed force– I fear is on it its way.
Recent surveys cough up anywhere from 18% to 49% (the latter one heard on NPR) of Americans asserting that they will refuse to take a Covid-19 vaccination, no matter how safe and effective medical science ordains it is.
Let’s explore the survey findings least disquieting (18%), shall we? It extrapolates to about 50 million irrationally unyielding troglodytes. Most of them will thunder out the quarrel that a federally-mandated vaccination program would amount to a draconian trampling of their Founding-Father Freedoms. Piffle, I riposte.Some others –blinkered by doddering ancient superstitions–would whine that vaccinations are against their religion. Freedom of religion, they will cry. Freedom from religion, I would argue. Still other dolts might look upon the vaccination as an invention of an ultra leftwing conspiratorial cabal, a kind of Lunatic Syringe, if you will ,(Sorry, I don’t seem able to resist insinuating at least one wordplay into my blogs). Tosh, I say.
Get woke, I demand of the dangerous dimwits. Submitting to a simple injection is no more liberty-shackling than submitting to a driver’s license test, or paying your taxes, or accepting the zoning laws that forbid your next-door neighbors from opening up a cassowary petting zoo in his rumpus room. Plainly, regulatory edicts are in place to protect citizens’ freedoms, rather than hobble them.
So now that we’ve discarded all the insane piffle and tosh into the trash bin of selfish ignorance, let’s charge on with a plan to bring the obstinate vaccine opponents to heel.
The answer: Incentivize the Resistance away from resisting. With what? Why, with the lure of irresistible financial bribery, of course. There’s nothing more potent in corroding ironclad principles. Following are just some ideas. I leave it to the strategical savvy of legislators for others,
. Withhold unemployment checks from those who sidestep vaccination when it becomes available them
. Have the IRS issue a 10%, maybe 15%, tax discount for vaccinated individuals.
. Any religion ordering their congregants to opt out of the program will have their tax-exemption status scuttled.*
. The imbeciles who have backed away from vaccination opportunities and who have contracted Covid-19 will be denied healthcare insurance coverage.
Harsh, you say? Such actions as these are far less uncaring than the indifference that willingly poses existential menace to one’s fellow citizens.
Bear this in mind: If near all of us aren’t vaccinated, near all of us are in mortal danger.
*Frankly, I hold that no religion should enjoy the privilege of tax exemption. Separation of church and state, you know. What’s more, I hardly want my taxes to effectively finance schools teaching kids that Earth is just 6,000 years old, or some badass schmuck named Satan actually tempts you to sin, or that one Messiah or another is packing his bags for a trip to this, one of billions upon billions of planets, or…well, you get my drift.