COVIDERATA (discovered deep under Stonehenge)
today at 6:39 am
Always remember to cover your nose,
Or your mask is malarky.
You might never again shake someone’s hand,
but you may kiss the air around their cheek.
George Carlin was half right,
those more cautious than you are not maniacs,
but those less cautious ARE idiots.
Take care in crowded and indoor locations,
the person on your left might sneeze,
and his elbow is pointed at you.
With Facetime and Zoom you can be blessed.
But 5-hour meetings are tiresome, especially with your grandmother.
If pro soccer is canceled this year and next,
why would America care?
Gray roots are fashionable. If you live in England they are grey.
The loss of a school year for our children,
works best for the braniacs
who don’t need second grade.
If you have products to sell don’t be gouging,
for Karma will find you in time
and Yoko can be a bitch.
Injecting unproven pharma
can be a prelude to embalming,
but might interest some people.
Most of us are in this together,
Unless you have fled to New Zealand
or to Gilligan’s Island with the Professor.
Funny COVID song parodies have had their time,
but are no longer timely
and rarely funny.
If the NBA can play in a bubble,
can Little League play in a Sno-Globe?
Vaccines = good,
especially on a triple-word score.
Be at peace with your friends, your family, and the uninformed;
just remember there is always an “Unfriend” button.
This is what happens when no one hosts the Oscars.
Ricky Gervais would have saved us,
or maybe Kevin Hart.
Be happy, and never again eat a bat.
You are a friend of the universe.
With appropriate apologies to
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.
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